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ardianto
12-11-2016, 03:39 PM
:sl:

I was in discussion about a man who committed suicide after get divorced, and I replied someone who said that divorce is very painful and can encourage someone to commit suicide. Here my reply

"Many people get divorced but do not commit suicide. Many people committed suicide, not because divorce, but because other causes. But indeed, there are people who easily think "It's better I die" when they get problem. It's dangerous, because shaytan will enter the heart and encourage to commit suicide".

I made that statement spontaneously without thinking before. But then I began to thinking that my statement probably right. Shaytan will entering someone who think to die when get a problem then encourage to commit suicide.

What you think about it?.
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sister herb
12-11-2016, 03:47 PM
^^ I have thought that people whose afraid to live, may commit a suicide. It´s quite same like you wrote: they afraid to face the problems of life.
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ardianto
12-11-2016, 03:54 PM
Originally Posted by sister herb
^^ I have thought that people whose afraid to live, may commit a suicide. It´s quite same like you wrote: they afraid to face the problems of life.
Not every person who afraid to face the problem will thinking to commit suicide. Many of them escape to other things, like drunk to forget their problem.
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sister herb
12-11-2016, 04:01 PM
I agree. That´s why I wrote as "may commit...". Basicly when person afraids something a lot, he feels inner weakness and then he might be an easy target for shaytan.
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*charisma*
12-11-2016, 04:16 PM
Walaikum Assalam

For someone to commit suicide they have to have a very deep problem within themselves that makes them feel they are worthless in this world. It could be depression or extreme anxiety that induces them to self-harm and worse. So I don't think one event causes a person to commit suicide but a series of problems that have been deep rooted inside them for a long time and eventually it manifests itself as suicidal.
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Snow
12-11-2016, 04:20 PM
I think it is mostly thinking of disappearing is less painful than living.
It can be caused by imbalance of the brain chemicals, or something else.
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M.I.A.
12-11-2016, 04:45 PM
i wouldn't commit suicide but have entertained the idea of dieing so that my immediate family (self made and stable) would look after my wife and kids lol.

second class citizens in a welfare state is better than struggling against an unproviding room.

although im a pacifist.
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ardianto
12-11-2016, 04:55 PM
Originally Posted by *charisma*
Walaikum Assalam

For someone to commit suicide they have to have a very deep problem within themselves that makes them feel they are worthless in this world. It could be depression or extreme anxiety that induces them to self-harm and worse. So I don't think one event causes a person to commit suicide but a series of problems that have been deep rooted inside them for a long time and eventually it manifests itself as suicidal.
A psychologist ever said that the cause of suicide is suicidal thought. If someone think it's better die, then he/she could commit suicide just because little problem. But if someone has no suicidal thought, even if he experience series of problems, he/she would not commit suicide.

And from Islamic point of view, probably the suicidal thought will invite shaytan that will encourage this person to really commit suicide. So it's better if we educate people, especially children, to not easy to say "It's better I die!" when they get problem or being scolded, because it can build a suicidal thought.
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Scimitar
12-11-2016, 05:26 PM
What about Euthanasia?

How do you feel about that, peeps?

Scimi
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*charisma*
12-11-2016, 06:00 PM
Originally Posted by Scimitar
What about Euthanasia?

How do you feel about that, peeps?

Scimi
Me no likey lol. What do you think about it Scimi? :D

No matter what a person is going through, Allah gives us the tools to deal with it alhemdulilah. Unless we're risking our lives to save someone else, then we have to suck it up and suffer the pains of this world for the benefits of the hereafter. And subhanallah no one really knows how their life is going to turn out in the end if they decide to just cut it short just cuz they're facing some problems.
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Serinity
12-11-2016, 06:06 PM
Originally Posted by *charisma*
Me no likey lol. What do you think about it Scimi? :D

No matter what a person is going through, Allah gives us the tools to deal with it alhamdulillah
. Unless we're risking our lives to save someone else, then we have to suck it up and suffer the pains of this world for the benefits of the hereafter. And subhanallah no one really knows how their life is going to turn out in the end if they decide to just cut it short just cuz they're facing some problems.
:salam:

I feel that is the answer. People forget that Allah gave us the tools, and instead of using them, they feel it is easier to just kill oneself, rather than figure it out.

Allahu alam.
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Scimitar
12-11-2016, 06:06 PM
Originally Posted by *charisma*
Me no likey lol. What do you think about it Scimi? :D
it's a tough one, for sure.

Scimi
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*charisma*
12-11-2016, 06:15 PM
Originally Posted by Serinity
:salam:

I feel that is the answer. People forget that Allah gave us the tools, and instead of using them, they feel it is easier to just kill oneself, rather than figure it out.

Allahu alam.
A lot of people attempt suicide multiple times and fail. That in itself is a sign that only Allah can take your soul, and we have no control over taking it as some like to think they do.

I also say to others that if you're going through something very difficult and cannot appreciate life, then there is someone else in this world probably going through the same thing who is praising Allah. The only difference is where the perspective lies.
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M.I.A.
12-11-2016, 06:25 PM
i suppose euthanasia is dependant on carers and quality of life. in some cases it may be justified through personal debilitating conditions..

although disability is again dependant on the quality of care given.

...in my experience, people should not be euthanised due to old age.

although looking at today, with no knowledge of yesterday is the level of care provided.

as a person who had previously studied for a career in "improving quality of life" i find it hard to reconsile this knowledge.

remember to visit the sick. :peace:

...although we cant always control what we say and do.

*wait... this isnt how i failed psychoneuropharmacology is it? ...can one be forgiven for career suicide?
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drac16
12-11-2016, 08:02 PM
Possibly because they feel like a failure. They haven't accomplished what they think they should have accomplished. Mental illness can also lead to suicidal thoughts. They might feel pressure to be someone their not, like being married at a certain age. Pressure from their family members to be married can lead to them thinking that God has forgotten them; when you think God has forgotten you, that can lead to suicidal thoughts.
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Eric H
12-11-2016, 10:05 PM
Greetings and peace be with you Scimitar;

What about Euthanasia?
If anyone has the right to Euthanasia, then my mum should have had that choice. I watched my mother suffer with multiple sclerosis for the last thirty years of her life. She could not move her arms or legs for about the last twenty years, and everything had to be done for her. She had to suffer every kind of indignity and helplessness. Despite all her suffering, she seemed to experience a calmness and peace about her, I could never really understand her calmness.

At one point she went into a coma and was taken to hospital, her breathing was a horrible gurgling sound; the doctors said there was nothing they could do for her and she had days to live, so we called a priest. None of us had a faith at the time, but we just thought it was what you should do. As the priest prayed my mums gasping for air seemed to change, she seemed to relax and started to breathe more normally. About ten minutes after the priest walked out the door, mum came round and started to speak, she had no recollection of anything that happened in hospital for the last two days, or that the priest had said prayers over her.

She lived another ten years, my mum regarded this as a blessing, despite her paralysed body, and she said she was not ready to die at the time of the coma.

I really could not understand how she seemed to just accept it, she rarely complained and often seemed more worried and concerned about our problems than her own. She had a faith in God and she sometimes used to say that she is ready to meet Jesus now. I never heard her blame God for her problems. People might have said that it would have been kinder for her to have passed away in hospital. But somehow through my mums faith in God, I went from being agnostic to finding a greater faith myself.

I can only say that I will never meet a stronger person than my mum, and she was so kind and caring too. Faith is only faith when it is tested, sometimes it seems that God tests us in extreme ways. We all die, faith and trust in God helps us to look forwards to a greater good life after death.

In the spirit of never giving up hope.

Eric
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noora95
12-12-2016, 12:01 AM
I believe that someone commits suicide because they do not have ALLAH SWT in their life. Their faith and imaan is not strong enough so shaytan wins over their mind makes them do great sin.
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azc
12-12-2016, 10:45 AM
When the circumstances entail the utter hopelessness or when the charm of life is lost or when the death is the only solution of the problems or when death looks dearer than life or when all the reasoning power is lost or when the darkness of utter despair is ingrained in mind or............ Whatever.... May Allah swt protect us from this sin. Ameen
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AbuAbdullaImran
12-12-2016, 10:54 AM
The waswas of shaitaan is stronger with those who are the furthest away from their Faith. Committing suicide is Haraam, hence why the waswas grows strong to commit suicide in those that are afflicted with such issues as it is another way for the shaitaan to claim the soul for hell rather than Heaven.

Another interesting point is a brother who works in a mental asylum commented that many of the patients in the asylum have a strong reaction to the recitation of the Holy Quran, which could mean there is something more at play rather than just a chemical inbalance.
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Al Sultan
12-12-2016, 08:11 PM
I'm not gonna lie brother, when I face problems and issues,sometimes with my family,I don't know why, but the first thought that comes into my mind is "I wish I was better dead" but then later, I have faith and hold on to my salah, and everything goes well after that (happened to me many times) yes , it is the shaytan that's doing this, only a stupid person would think "Ah! This life will be simple" I myself, know that life is hard, and not everything will go in my way, I only pray to God to fix it and have ease, because I know God has planned for me what will happen in the future, and I pray to him to take care of me and others, Ameen
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Eric H
12-13-2016, 07:07 PM
Greetings and peace be with you azc;

When the circumstances entail the utter hopelessness or when the charm of life is lost or when the death is the only solution of the problems or when death looks dearer than life or when all the reasoning power is lost or when the darkness of utter despair is ingrained in mind or............ Whatever.... May Allah swt protect us from this sin. Ameen
Ameen.


Many years ago I called on a lady, she said, if I tell you something, will you promise not to tell anyone else, having known her for some time, I thought she was going to tell me some gossip, and agreed.

She said she was in the process of ending her life, she was gradually overdosing on some tablets every day. (I don’t want to mention the name of the tablets.) She knew this would eventually destroy her organs, the damage would be irreversible; and she would suffer a slow and painful death. This seemed like a carefully planned and determined attempt to end her life, but she still chose to tell me about it..

She told me her story, some of which I already knew, she said that everyone who was important to her in her life had used her. Her husband ran of with another woman, her business partner bankrupted her, and her children only came to see her when they wanted something. Then another man did a terrible thing, there was no chance of getting justice, so she decided to end her life.

My response was to say that dying is not the problem, we all die, but leaving this world a bitter twisted and angry woman is not the way to leave this Earth. I talked about finding some way to forgive this person, because it was not in her nature to be bitter and angry. I said, even if you continue taking the tablets, try and forgive, you are a kind and caring person and it is not in your nature to leave this world angry and bitter.

There came a point when she had said all she could, and there was no more I could say, other than its pointless coming back next month to see you. She said come back.

I did phone later, and came back the following month, she’d had her kitchen decorated and was planning to landscape her garden. She never mentioned about ending her life again.

I had left her with a terrible burden, every day she would have to live with the memory of the hurt, and strive to overcome her loss.

Letting go of anger, and striving to forgive, helped this lady find a purpose in life.

In the spirit of never giving up hope.

Eric
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Search
12-13-2016, 08:45 PM
:bism: (In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)

:sl: (Peace be upon you)

Once upon a time, when I was 14, I had tried to commit suicide. The reason I'd tried to commit suicide was because I was seriously depressed due to the relentless middle school bullying I was experiencing in school. Subsequently, I received counseling which helped in addition to antidepressants to correct the chemical imbalance in my brain.

However, for those of you who don't understand why people try to commit suicide, it is rather simple: People who try to commit suicide or do commit suicide are afraid to confront their problems, their despair, and they see absolutely no way out of the dark place in which they find themselves.

Of course, now being a grown up, I now see that "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." However, that's not the way suicidal people see their problems because they've entirely lost perspective and whatever they're experiencing/feeling seems to them like it's the end of the world.

So, if you ever want to help a suicidal person, the best thing you can do is simply listen and offer sincere advice if appropriate and possible without judgment. Don't offer platitudes; and don't think that people are making a mountain of a molehill. To you, whatever they're experiencing might be an insignificant problem, but to them, it might feel as if the entire universe is imploding and they no longer have any reason to continue to be among the living.

And for those who are or ever have been suicidal who might silently be reading this thread, I just want to say that life is beautiful and it is absolutely worth living: What I didn't realize at 14 was that no problem is the end of the world. Imagine if I'd succeeded in committing suicide at 14: I'd never have gone onto college. I'd never have gone on to find Islam. I'd never have gone onto law school. I'd never have been able to be in a position to help others. I'd never have been the person I am today. I'd not have been.

No one in this world has a perfect life. I still don't. But the thing is that life is perfect as it is, even with its imperfections, because we can entrust our affairs to God. I know for those of you who are not in a good place right now in your life may think it's never going to get better, but realize things and all the kinks in life have a way of working themselves out - you just have to be there long enough to want to know how it's all going to happen - and I hope you find the courage to want that for yourself because you deserve the best as God's beautiful creation. And God is Infinitely Merciful and without that Infinite Mercy encompassing you, you wouldn't be breathing these breaths you're breathing now. And if things seem too bad today or tomorrow to move on forward, don't lose hope, and just take it one day at a time; sometimes, you have to stop thinking and instead do. So, walk. Walk small steps with one foot in front of the other until one day you can look back and see all the distance you've covered and can know that you made it and see as all the obstacles and hurdles that were put in your life as beautiful gifts from God to make you stronger, shine brighter, and appreciate better who you are and all the things you have been given and what you can give others.

And even the poem that I'm sharing below is written by a non-Muslim author, I hope InshaAllah (God-willing) all of you take the positive message from this poem and hug it to your hearts for those wintry days that make you long impossibly for the sun to shine again in your hearts and lives:

One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.

This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,
You'd walk with me all the way.
But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me."

He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you."

:wa: (And peace be upon you)
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Serinity
12-13-2016, 08:59 PM
To me suicide seems like a logical option to one faced with (according to him) a greater evil - so in his eyes - killing oneself is better than succumbing to that evil.

But regardless of what evil that is, there will always be a cure / a weapon against it. But the knowledge that Allah brought a cure for any disease - or in other words, Allah did not leave a disease except with a cure, is quite releaving. So in fact, since Suicide is a sin, there is a cure to that, and the thing that causes people to think suicide is better.

For every disease, there IS a cure.

Allahu alam.
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ruglifeTX
12-17-2016, 01:20 PM
I am a combat veteran and I have lived with the horrors of war . Seen things that I can't unsee and also seen things my heart did not agree with. I went into the military during a time of peace to pay for school cause my family is very very poor and I wanted to break the cycle. Found myself in war. Now broken. Mentally physically and emotionally there were times I thought what's the point. I'm crippled from war. My own wife thinks I'm crazy cause the simplest things make my brain go into overdrive. I wanted to die. Dying was better than hurting those around me. Dying was better than my family always watching me to make sure I was ok. But then I found salah. It slowed my anxiety. It has showed me how to love my family again. It has taken away the nightmares. The outbursts. Still hasn't taken away the pain in my leg haha but that's ok. That's a reminder of where I was and what brought me to Allah!
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Eric H
12-17-2016, 01:46 PM
Greetings and peace be with you ruglifeTX;

I am so sad to hear about your sufferings, I have met soldiers before who are deeply depressed after coming home from war. We owe you all so much for fighting on our behalf. But sometimes I think, the lucky soldiers are the ones who come home in a body bag, their suffering is over.

May you be a blessing to those you love and care for.

Eric
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ruglifeTX
12-17-2016, 01:58 PM
Originally Posted by Eric H
Greetings and peace be with you ruglifeTX;

I am so sad to hear about your sufferings, I have met soldiers before who are deeply depressed after coming home from war. We owe you all so much for fighting on our behalf. But sometimes I think, the lucky soldiers are the ones who come home in a body bag, their suffering is over.

May you be a blessing to those you love and care for.

Eric
I'm not owed anything . I am just happy to be alive. The best thing to ever happen to me was to get a connection with Allah and have a Muslim community that accepts me and helps me grow .
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Search
12-17-2016, 03:02 PM
:bism: (In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)

:sl: (Peace be upon you)

Dear brother, welcome to IB!
In a short time - seems to me like you've always been part of this forum; and I am personally very glad to have you with us and posting. :) Thank you for joining our IB family!

Brother, while I'm unable to diagnose medically as I'm not a medical professional, from what you've described, I do think you might be suffering from PTSD; also, I doubt your wife thinks you're crazy, though she probably does not understand that small things may trigger you to feel unduly frightened or remember things that you'd rather forget. Brother, please understand there is no shame in suffering from PTSD. Veterans just like you and other individuals who have experienced trauma of any sort do experience or have PTSD, including rape victims. The great news is that PTSD is treatable with therapy or medications, and therefore I strongly and sincerely advise you to also consult a professional about getting whatever professional help that's available; I'm glad Islam has helped you in becoming better, though I also feel that you might be benefited from other treatments as well.

Also, I am certain there are support groups for those suffering from PTSD, and you should feel free to join them InshaAllah (God-willing). Honestly, I think the worst part of any issues (whether mental, physical, spiritual) we experience in life is that often we forget that there are others like us and we're not alone.

As far as the pain in your leg is concerned, while I'm not familiar with your specific injury, I wanted to let you know that there's a wonderful natural ayurvedic ointment called Zandu Balm that you can try to use to see if it works for you; you should be able to find it in any South Asian (Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi) grocery store near you, especially as you're living in Texas and I think there's a sizable South Asian population in that state. Please know can also order the ointment from Amazon.com or ebay.com as a single jar.

Sincerest Regards & Best Wishes,


Originally Posted by ruglifeTX
I am a combat veteran and I have lived with the horrors of war . Seen things that I can't unsee and also seen things my heart did not agree with. I went into the military during a time of peace to pay for school cause my family is very very poor and I wanted to break the cycle. Found myself in war. Now broken. Mentally physically and emotionally there were times I thought what's the point. I'm crippled from war. My own wife thinks I'm crazy cause the simplest things make my brain go into overdrive. I wanted to die. Dying was better than hurting those around me. Dying was better than my family always watching me to make sure I was ok. But then I found salah. It slowed my anxiety. It has showed me how to love my family again. It has taken away the nightmares. The outbursts. Still hasn't taken away the pain in my leg haha but that's ok. That's a reminder of where I was and what brought me to Allah!
:wa: (And peace be upon you)
Reply

ruglifeTX
12-17-2016, 03:18 PM
Originally Posted by Search
:bism: (In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)

:sl: (Peace be upon you)

Dear brother, welcome to IB!
In a short time - seems to me like you've always been part of this forum; and I am personally very glad to have you with us and posting. :) Thank you for joining our IB family!

Brother, while I'm unable to diagnose medically as I'm not a medical professional, from what you've described, I do think you might be suffering from PTSD; also, I doubt your wife thinks you're crazy, though she probably does not understand that small things may trigger you to feel unduly frightened or remember things that you'd rather forget. Brother, please understand there is no shame in suffering from PTSD. Veterans just like you and other individuals who have experienced trauma of any sort do experience or have PTSD, including rape victims. The great news is that PTSD is treatable with therapy or medications, and therefore I strongly and sincerely advise you to also consult a professional about getting whatever professional help that's available; I'm glad Islam has helped you in becoming better, though I also feel that you might be benefited from other treatments as well.

Also, I am certain there are support groups for those suffering from PTSD, and you should feel free to join them InshaAllah (God-willing). Honestly, I think the worst part of any issues (whether mental, physical, spiritual) we experience in life is that often we forget that there are others like us and we're not alone.

As far as the pain in your leg is concerned, while I'm not familiar with your specific injury, I wanted to let you know that there's a wonderful natural ayurvedic ointment called Zandu Balm that you can try to use to see if it works for you; you should be able to find it in any South Asian (Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi) grocery store near you, especially as you're living in Texas and I think there's a sizable South Asian population in that state. Please know can also order the ointment from Amazon.com or ebay.com as a single jar.

Sincerest Regards & Best Wishes,




:wa: (And peace be upon you)
Yea i am in Houston so we have a very large south Asian and middle eastern population! The halal market I go to is a desi halal grocery store . I am diagnosed with ptsd. I have shrapnel in my leg. And was shot through the shin. So it's a prettty painful experience but it is nothing I can't handle. My biggest problem is seizures due to traumatic brain injury but I have really good doctors that have worked hard to help regulate them.
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