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lostboy2389
01-06-2017, 09:42 PM
So hello guys I am a arab guy who lives in the western world. I am finding it really unfair how Allah treats me, although I love Allah more than anything. My life is a mess. When I wasnt even born yet the bad news started. The doctors told my mother that my head is very big. My Mother and Father divorced when I was 1 year old. Well life was easy back then somehow but after I grew a bit (5 years old) my Mother and my Stepfather always hit me and my Stepfather treated my unfair although he wasnt all the time bad but most of the time. When I first visited scool all my class members hated me, one guy said to me : "As soon as you go away I am gonna threw a party and invite all class members". Around 7 years old we moved to elsewhere and since then EVERY WEEK something bad happend where I got involved in, in the Family. Well we moved once again, once again at my new Scool people started to hate me, I still not understand what I did wrong I had no friends at all and I wasnt even permitted to go out I had to go to School and come back home. All this left inside me something dark and from time to time it started to grow. Imagine having no one to speak to at all and sitting all the day at home and get hit by anyone :( . I was always asking myself what I did so that Allah allows all this to happen to me. When I was 12 Years old I again changed School, and they hated me once again, so much that I started to hit my classmates, so the scoolleader decided to fire me from Scool and so people started to think I am crazy so for a half year I had to go into a psychiatric hospital, then I again had to signup for another scool that is one level more bad and I had to repeat the whole year, people started to hate my again, I got involved in fights and got hit many times by my classmates they made fun of me, how I look, and they made fun of me that my mother wouldnt permit to go out with anyone. I was only 13 Years old, and once again I got fired again from scool, and got involved with the police (long story). My father didnt really care about me he wasnt interested. When I got home from Scool there where fighrs and arguments all the time I couldnt really concentrate on Scool and so my marks went down. Now I am 17 and about to suicide, I am trying to please allah but I cant, there was a Girl which loved me but I told her that I cant be with her cuz I would gain the anger of Allah and yeah. So I split up with her for the sake of Allah, anyway my Life didnt got any better, everything is going bad. I look so ugly, I have a really big head and big noise which doesnt fit to the rest of my body, girls tell me they would rather choose someone who is fat and ugly than choosing me. I basically have no hobbys at all whatever I touch breaks and whatever I do fails. I feel like Allah has cursed me for something or I dont know, I got continous waswasa on me a raqi once told me that I am possesed by a Jinn so basically the Shaytan is acompanying me all the time and leading me to utter bad things and to.act bad I m completly done with my life I m waiting to ger 18 so I can go somewhere far away and kill my self, I got no one to tell my problems I have no friends I just sit at home and live in excessive fear :(
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Muslim Woman
01-07-2017, 02:24 PM
:sl:

Bro. Life is a test for hereafter. So , have patience, keep praying to Allah for His forgiveness. Never say that He is unfair or unjust. Remember, all His beloved Prophets including our last Prophet pbuh went through many trials.

Life hereafter is better for believers. So , wait for your rewards on the final day. May Allah bless and protect you .
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Umm Abed
01-08-2017, 02:42 PM
If you leave out something for the sake of Allah then He will give you something better for it, He has promised. You need to have patience; everyone has their own set of struggles in life, but you need to face them and deal with whatever life gives you.

Try to stay positive and you will see that life isnt so bad after all, say alhamdulillah for the greatest gift of Imaan that Allah has given you. Get some hobbies and keep yourself occupied in your spare time. About the possession, do ruqya treatment and be consistent with it.

Whatever has happened in the past, leave it there. Look forward - and - positively. There's so much you can do with your life but never even think of suicide, that is not the solution. You can make changes and start anew.

May Allah make it easy for you and remove all your difficulties.
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lostboy2389
01-08-2017, 02:46 PM
Jazakullah Cheir Sister :)
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Muslim_girl3563
01-08-2017, 05:28 PM
Assalam o Alaikum brother. Let me explain. How hard will you define the life of Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.)? He lost his father even before he was born, lost his mother when he was 6, lost his grandfather when 8 and also lost his uncle at a very young age. Shortly, he had NO One with him. He was all alone. No relative, no family.. can we think a life without family.. he called people to the right path but still people mocked him. They abused him sayig him stupid, psychotic. Even they announced that whoever will kill him will get money. That's how his life was in the start. No companions, no family, so much hatred. But Allah made this world for him. Allah loves him more than anyone else.. hardships don't mean that Allah is not with you. And you talked about your appearance, Allah could made a perfect man instead of you. He had chance. But still he made you. No artist wants to paint a thing which he is ashamed of. He tries to make it perfect in any way. You are the creation of Allah, why will he paint a bad picture. He is proud of you as his creation. Don't ever let other people tell you that you are not worth anything. If you are not perfect in your appearence than improve your inner beauty. May Allah help you.
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Muslim_girl3563
01-08-2017, 05:31 PM
Hardships come to people whom Allah love. There are some people who are so dear to him that he doesn't give them a single chance to leave him. You are one of those people!
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YahyaAE
01-09-2017, 05:09 AM
Everyone goes through troubles, some more noticeable than others. And yeah, your life sounds tough, you just have to keep on moving, and keep on trying. You made it this far, inshallah eventually everything will be alright. Set some kind of goal that you want to achieve, whatever dream or ambition you have, or what you think will make you happy and go for that. Stop thinking about what everyone else is thinking and saying about you and to you, and please ignore those say you have a jinn.

There is this lecture by Mufti Menk called Is Allah Displeased With Me. I think it will help and inspire you...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbYvI6bLPGo&t=173s
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