struggle with my husband and Islam

[_E_3]

:astag: Am struggling at the moment with my relationship with my husband we have been married for 10 years now but have no children
But i have mental health problems and no one in my family will take care of me Am still in love with my husband ...my husband isnt Muslim and has no interest in becoming Muslim i myself am struggling with religions going back and forth between faiths ...Normally me and my husband rarely fighting but today because i have felt that its right for me to follow Islam again he started shouting at me and had a go at me
he punched the bedroom door which now has a hole in it he calmed down now my sister is here and id said id speak to a minster friend about me wanting to follow Islam again most likely to get me to change my mind ...The person am speaking to will say am not Muslim am Christian
i know i shouldn't have gone back to Church but i feel pressured into doing what my mother , husband and friends
i know i shouldnt have turned my back on Allah Am unable to take care of myself as my health ( hearing voices and depression seeing things and POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER ETC ) i cant go out on my own as i am a danger to myself and others ( i tried to jump on the tracks of the train station as i was very unwell at the time) i want to say i have felt guilty every day that i turned my back on Allah ...av just kept quiet about it until now ...unsure what to do unsure if am even sane here

[azc]

May Allah swt bless you with good health and make it easy to spend your life as a Muslim. Ameen

[Umm Abed]

Life is a struggle and everybody goes through their own struggles, we as Muslims are meant to pass the test in order for us to go to Jannah so please dont give up, dear sister. Hold onto your iman with all your might.

And as it is, marriage with a kafir man is not valid so thats the first point where you are getting it wrong. If you can find a muslim women's shelter then that would be better than how you are living now.

You also need to repent to Allah swt, seek guidance from Him and ask Him to always keep you on Islam. Read abundant istighfar, you really need to do that, in that way Allah swt will make a way out for you as He has promised for the one who does abundant istighfar.

Love for Allah comes first then love for creation.

I wish you well, good health and all the best.

Missed you on the forum sis, was wondering where you disappeared to :)

[_E_3]

thank you for replying to me ...at the moment am hiding the fact that am on this forum ...if he finds our am here he will be very angry
Am scared the only helpline i can call that is Muslim near me is closed ...he dont seem to understand and i have to pretend am Christian at the moment
he will be very mad at me am scared he will get really mad at me

i have missed you all so much sorry i was gone for so long

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[sister herb]

Salam alaykum dear sister

It sounds bad that you have to be scared. Are you sure it´s that worth to continue with this man if he can´t accept that you have right to be who you like to be, not pretend something else. I understand your situation is very complicated but how long time you can really continue like this?

[_E_3]

he found out he not happy at all ....shouting at me i want to leave but he has the door locked and keys where i cant get them

[sister herb]

Sister, what? Does he keeps you behind the locked doors? I mean normally?

[_E_3]

he does it because my mental health is so bad am scared that i go away from him i will not be able to look after myself

he locks the door and holds on to the money am not allowed any because i have bought things to hurt myself with

[sister herb]

Hugs to you dear sister. I make dua that you will feel better.

[_E_3]

Thank you sister herb ...he seemed to calm down for now ...unsure what to do i think he might get my pastor friend to change my mind
imsad

[_E_3]

he is scared that i'll get attack because am wearing the hajab he dont want me to wear it
my husband says he got nothing against Islam he just worried about me

[Shamnadanu]

Ya Allah help this sister...give hidayah to her husband...

Asalamu Alaikum
Alhamdulillah...when reading about your problems. .it make me thing how small is mine...i am 20. and got love failure ..i thought i am only deppressed person in this world...

Sister there is a way ...do namaz without fearing them...cover atleast major awra of body...important ly treat with good manners....actually we all are being tested...sister you get high rewards i can only imagine how sad are you...but do everything for Allah...dont act like supersticial...do compulsory namas..love husband for Allah...take up the challenge Allah given you...in this world give him hopes of getting child...tell him varous hospitals provide such care...even instances where people get child late...ibrahim Pbuh got son islamael...late...he was beimg tested...do not forget it is Allah is planning everything...hospital would say its their effort...Allah gives the results...so Main part is eeman...call your husband and love him...do whats good for him...amnot by mere words...if necessary do actions ...show the beauty of righteousness...feel like you have nothing to loose in this world...other than beloved husband...
Don't speak against anything or christianity...Love jesus...tell him how mary bear jesus miraculousness... say to him God is testing us....prepare good foods for him...make him feel special....if someone speaks against you...suffer it..dont speak against...speak ...that Quran is truth...Allah is God...Muhamed pbuh is last prophet...Jesus was beloved prophet...if vicar asks.....everything you say or do...Angels records ...so your rewards in Paradise will more than me ...Even i have more deeds...Allah test you....sabr...be patient...Good things will come...if ur husband change...you got one more company... your challenge will get more tougher...life goes on...fight with patience

[_E_3]

he made me go to church without wearing the hajab he thrown them all out ...the pastor and my husband says am mentally ill
that this is a symptom of my illness i dont know what to do i feel like i shouldnt be here any more
but i know ill end up in hell if i do that

[_E_3]

Im ok... my husband says he going to block the site from the router this is causing conflict with my husband. We went back to church this morning and i have decided to stick with Christianity with my husband. Islam is a beautiful religion and i have alot of respect and love towards islam and its followers, i will miss you all but for my mental health and my relationship with my husband and family i am sticking with christianity. thankyou for bieng here and trying to help. May Allah bless you all

[sister herb]

Sister, I believe that Allah is merciful to you as if you are forced to go to the church and go out without hijab or leave Islam or at the least forced to choose between Islam and your family/husband.

I could say that those whose resrict your right to practice Islam may mean good and care about you but at the same time they deprived right to your self-determination.

I believe we will see you again at some day. Don´t give up sister. You are in my prayers.

[Futuwwa]

Report what he is doing to the police. Forcibly restricting your freedom like that is illegal.

[sister herb]

And report that pastor too is he uses your weak mental condition as excuse to convert you. It sounds like a brainwashing to claim that your converting to Islam is only some kind of symptom of meltal illness.

(I know it´s easy to say but difficult to do in your mental state and situation.)

[Shamnadanu]

you're not ill.

[Shamnadanu]

Sister...Allah is testing...he can control your outside but not inside...You could secretly follow islam...obey your husband and fullfill his duties which doesnot contradict or against with Allah swt

Allah is the protector of believer...In a church or mosque or temple...pray to Allah...since you are following secretly.


In history there were so many instance s of people following secretly...it is what you can do..

i may cite more about it.

[Shamnadanu]

Technically you can use vpn in Android phone /pcto visit this site again

you can use proxy sites too...Dont worry Allah swt has a plan for everything

www.4everproxy.com
Type the link...you can visit any site in the world

[Shamnadanu]

For becoming a muslim...you need only 'Laailaaha illallah Muhammed arRasoolullah'
in your heart...recite Laailaahaillallah'
there is no God worthy of worship other than Allah and Muhammad is the mesenger of Allah....

Dont stop reciting this ....whisper this everytime


because You are a muslim...and you are getting high rewards for your struggles and also dont you need rewards and trust from Allah...recite this in your heart.... fullfill your husband s duties...pray for him .....You can salah secretly if possible...you can pray salah anytime...even midnight..or when alone.....

if husband say goto church go and pray to Allah...you are real Christian you are not following Eesa pbuh ...you understand Eesa pbuh is the prophet.

[Shamnadanu]

when i typed 'secretly following islam' in google...i found there are similar people Allah gave hidayah...Allah have a lot mercy on you..thats why ...

your husband /anyone in this world cant block you mind and heart to worship Allah


If you are thinking of Death....Allah can only take your death....

[_E_3]

He says i can be on the forum as i said ill break the router he not happy his mother is visiting in two weeks time
am not allowed to wear the haj-jab unless am praying av not to go out in it
still have to go to church and a morning service on a Wednesday at the hospital and go to the other church things
Allah is in my heart and my soul i am calling out to him and to my brothers and sisters in Islam
My heart feels broken without Allah ...my husband calls it an obsession
Mentally ill or not I know where i belong

[sister herb]

Warm hugs to you from me.

[_E_3]

Thank you sister ((((( hugs )))) ...he threw out my easy to put on hajabs i only have lose headscarfs with no pins
ill just need to tie them around me for the moment my sister is also here and she says i shouldnt follow Islam as well
but am not listening to them at all ...Feeling less suicidal now i need to try and get my prayers done i have missed so many
and i fear that Allah maybe angry with me
I love Allah and Muhammad I Love my brothers and sisters in Islam

[sister herb]

Remember that Allah loves the most of those whose he sends the hardest test.

[_E_3]

I prayed for the first time in a long long time ...am so happy i was able to pray
My husband is sleeping at the moment my sister is kinda awake av heard her moving about
made myself some decaff tea Earl grey listening to the quran ...Starting my day
we not up to much today i dont really do much on a Monday

i hope you all have a nice day

[sister herb]

Have a nice day to you too sister.

[_E_3]

My husband is scared that i might be knifed or acid thrown on me because i wear the hijab
there has been so much negativity towards Muslim and Islam the travel bad by trump and other things in the news my husband has tried to compromise with me about the hijab he said i can wear a beanie hat instead of a hijab unsure if that is ok i have tried to talk to him
its my safety he is worried about and i understand with what going on politically in the news is upsetting him
I feel we shouldnt have to hide who we are as it what neo-nazis and Islamophobic people want they want us to be scared ....
I am so tired of us fighting we had fights 3 night in a row :argue:

he now said i can hear a head scarf as long as it dont looking like the hijab we are slowly getting there :exhausted

[sister herb]

Here was before discussion about how to use hijab at the islamophobic area and one option was using hat or cap with hijab. I sometimes have used a hooded sweater. It covers my head and neck but doesn´t look like too islamic.

Like these ones: https://www.google.fi/search?q=hijab...fxDTUQ_AUIBigB

[_E_3]

Thank you for the link Sister i been wearing my beanie hat and a scarf when am out the house ... my husbands been ok
we not fighting as much things have calmed down ... saw my psych and she says there is a possibility that i change my medication
she going to wait until am more stable she says she wants me to not self injure so much she says mentally am unstable
but not enough to warrant admission or anything like that

saw the pastor of the church my husband goes too we had a chat she said am welcome there no matter what faith i am
my husband still wants me going to my groups that are involved with the church as its been helping with my mental health
all faiths are welcome at my husband church and groups
i can pray to Allah when the services are going on

[sister herb]

That´s good to hear. Hopely things will go better in your life.