Muslim female (best friend) lost virginity

[ceylincemal]

ASA

So,

My muslim friend she lost her virginity for which I am angry at her for a lot.

She is like a sister to me.

Is it halal to keep it a secret, thanks

JAK

[aadil77]

Theres nothing wrong with that if it was with her husband : )

And she shouldn't be talking to you about such things anyway

[ceylincemal]

Theres nothing wrong with that if it was with her husband : )

And she shouldn't be talking to you about such things anyway

Nah its not its her muslim boyfriend
She told me cuz she is scared and she is worried and afraid

[azc]

Loss is irrecoverable. Now she shouldn't discuss this thing to anyone

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[sister herb]

I understand that it´s not good to talk about own sins but isn´t it still logical to ask advice from the best friend in such case. If young sister is embarrassed and frantic, it´s better to talk with some reliable person than just pondering such matter alone which may (in some cases, not just this kind of) drive a person to some desperate acts.

[aaj]

Nah its not its her muslim boyfriend
She told me cuz she is scared and she is worried and afraid

why is she scared, worried or afraid now? what do you think happens when you get into a bf/gf relationship?

[talibilm]

ASA

So,

My muslim friend she lost her virginity for which I am angry at her for a lot.

She is like a sister to me.

Is it halal to keep it a secret, thanks

JAK

its Haram to expose such indecent matters . Hadiths warn who spread indecency will get the same sin as the doer , we have to have hayaa which is a part of eemaan.

Propaganda of Good begets good & sins beget sins:omg:

even if the name of the doer is kept hiddens its amounts to spreading of indecency

[ceylincemal]

Loss is irrecoverable. Now she shouldn't discuss this thing to anyone

JAK

thank u

[ceylincemal]

I understand that it´s not good to talk about own sins but isn´t it still logical to ask advice from the best friend in such case. If young sister is embarrassed and frantic, it´s better to talk with some reliable person than just pondering such matter alone which may (in some cases, not just this kind of) drive a person to some desperate acts.

Yea but she confided in me cuz im like her sister and idk how to help her which is frustrating me even more.

JK

[ceylincemal]

why is she scared, worried or afraid now? what do you think happens when you get into a bf/gf relationship?

true

JAK

[Scimitar]

Be quiet, and do not tell anyone - you already made it a big deal when you joined the forum.

Hide her sins, from others.

It is between her and Allah.

Not you and anyone else.

Salaam

Scimi

[ceylincemal]

its haram to expose such indecent matters . Hadiths warn who spread indecency will get the same sin as the doer , we have to have hayaa which is a part of eemaan.

propaganda of good begets good & sins beget sins:omg:

Even if the name of the doer is kept hiddens its amounts to spreading of indecency

asa

i would never expose her in fact i want to keep it a secret but making sure it's halal to. Also, idk what to do or how to help her which saddens me.

Jak

[ceylincemal]

Be quiet, and do not tell anyone - you already made it a big deal when you joined the forum.

Hide her sins, from others.

It is between her and Allah.

Not you and anyone else.

Salaam

Scimi

ASA

youre right

JAK

[Scimitar]

If a Muslim friend of mine slept with a woman out of marriage - I would refuse to entertain him, until and unless he does tawbah sincerely.

I will not listen to his relationship problems or offer any advice except - LEAVE HER, SHE IS YOUR HELLFIRE.

I would keep his secret, and not tell anyone.

And I would hope and pray that his secret doesn't become exposed for the world to know and hold against him on the day of judgement.

Scimi

[ceylincemal]

If a Muslim friend of mine slept with a woman out of marriage - I would refuse to entertain him, until and unless he does tawbah sincerely.

I will not listen to his relationship problems or offer any advice except - LEAVE HER, SHE IS YOUR HELLFIRE.

I would keep his secret, and not tell anyone.

And I would hope and pray that his secret doesn't become exposed for the world to know and hold against him on the day of judgement.

Scimi

ASA,

Ameen,

JAK :-)

[talibilm]

asa

i would never expose her in fact i want to keep it a secret but making sure it's halal to. Also, idk what to do or how to help her which saddens me.

Jak

:sl:

Let me quote few hadiths on it

• SINS OF FAULT FINDING & SPREADING INDECENCY
  
  
  
  Ali ibn Abi Talib said, "The person who says something indecent and the person who makes it known are equal as far as the wrong action is concerned."
  
  325. Shubayl ibn 'Awf said, "It is said, 'Whoever hears something indecent and then spreads it is like the one who originated it.'"
  
  326. 'Ata thought that an exemplary punishment should be carried out on anyone who makes adultery known. He said, "He has made indecency known."
  
  327. Hukaym ibn Sa'd heard 'Ali say, "Do not be hasty, spreading and divulging secrets. Ahead of you lies a severe, distressing affliction and events which would take a long time explain * namely oppressive conflicts."
  
  328. Ibn 'Abbas said, "When you want to mention your companion's faults, remember your own faults."
  
  329. Ibn 'Abbas spoke about the words of Allah Almighty, "Do not find fault with one another" (49:11) and he said that these words mean, "Do not attack one another."
  
  330. Ad-Dahhak said, "It was about us (the Banu Salima) that these words were revealed, 'Do not find fault with one another' (49:11)" He went on to say, "The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, came to us and there was not a man among us who did not have two names. The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, began to say, 'O so-and-so!' and they said, 'Messenger of Allah! That will make him angry!'"
  
  331. 'Ikrima was heard to say, "I do not know which o f them, either Ibn 'Abbas or Ibn 'Umar, was giving his companions food, and a slavegirl was working in their presence. One of them said to her, 'Harlot!' He said, 'Easy! If she does not exact the hadd punishment (i.e. for slander) from you in this world, she will take it from you in the Next World.' The man said, 'And what do you think if it(what I said) is the truth?' He replied, 'Allah does not love anyone who greatly exceeds the sounds in speaking of indecencies."
  
  332. 'Abdullah reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said. "The believer is neither a defamer nor a curser nor outrageous nor obscene."
  
  http://www.sunnipath.com/library/Hadith/H0003P0015.aspx
  
  NOTE: Spoiling the honour of a Muslim is like the Eating of THE WORST of Riba. (hadith) A 'part of sins of Riba carries sins of zina with one's own mother.(hadith) Naudhubillah be careful from committing this sin which has become a part of daily talk for some muslims. and we never knew it.
  
  
  From here & more on it # 55
  
  http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...r-Wisdom/page2
  
  
  
  

[Umm♥Layth]

Is anyone considering the ages of those involved? Are these full grown adults or teenagers? How old are you and your friend OP?

If its kids we are talking about here (high school aged), wouldn't rules change? I wouldn't want my child doing this behind my back and their so called "best friend" tolerating it or keeping it a secret. We have parents for a reason. It is important to get more details before giving advice, imo.

[ceylincemal]

:sl:

Let me quote few hadiths on it

• SINS OF FAULT FINDING & SPREADING INDECENCY
  
  
  
  Ali ibn Abi Talib said, "The person who says something indecent and the person who makes it known are equal as far as the wrong action is concerned."
  
  325. Shubayl ibn 'Awf said, "It is said, 'Whoever hears something indecent and then spreads it is like the one who originated it.'"
  
  326. 'Ata thought that an exemplary punishment should be carried out on anyone who makes adultery known. He said, "He has made indecency known."
  
  327. Hukaym ibn Sa'd heard 'Ali say, "Do not be hasty, spreading and divulging secrets. Ahead of you lies a severe, distressing affliction and events which would take a long time explain * namely oppressive conflicts."
  
  328. Ibn 'Abbas said, "When you want to mention your companion's faults, remember your own faults."
  
  329. Ibn 'Abbas spoke about the words of Allah Almighty, "Do not find fault with one another" (49:11) and he said that these words mean, "Do not attack one another."
  
  330. Ad-Dahhak said, "It was about us (the Banu Salima) that these words were revealed, 'Do not find fault with one another' (49:11)" He went on to say, "The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, came to us and there was not a man among us who did not have two names. The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, began to say, 'O so-and-so!' and they said, 'Messenger of Allah! That will make him angry!'"
  
  331. 'Ikrima was heard to say, "I do not know which o f them, either Ibn 'Abbas or Ibn 'Umar, was giving his companions food, and a slavegirl was working in their presence. One of them said to her, 'Harlot!' He said, 'Easy! If she does not exact the hadd punishment (i.e. for slander) from you in this world, she will take it from you in the Next World.' The man said, 'And what do you think if it(what I said) is the truth?' He replied, 'Allah does not love anyone who greatly exceeds the sounds in speaking of indecencies."
  
  332. 'Abdullah reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said. "The believer is neither a defamer nor a curser nor outrageous nor obscene."
  
  http://www.sunnipath.com/library/Hadith/H0003P0015.aspx
  
  NOTE: Spoiling the honour of a Muslim is like the Eating of THE WORST of Riba. (hadith) A 'part of sins of Riba carries sins of zina with one's own mother.(hadith) Naudhubillah be careful from committing this sin which has become a part of daily talk for some muslims. and we never knew it.
  
  
  From here & more on it # 55
  
  http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...r-Wisdom/page2
  
  

ASA

this are very helpful
i hope Allah gives u good things in life

JAK

[ceylincemal]

Is anyone considering the ages of those involved? Are these full grown adults or teenagers? How old are you and your friend OP?

If its kids we are talking about here (high school aged), wouldn't rules change? I wouldn't want my child doing this behind my back and their so called "best friend" tolerating it or keeping it a secret. We have parents for a reason. It is important to get more details before giving advice, imo.

ASA,

We are both 25 and are both unmarried and live under our parent's homes. I am a grad student get my PhD and she is a professional student getting her MD.

JAK

[talibilm]

If a Muslim friend of mine slept with a woman out of marriage - I would refuse to entertain him, until and unless he does tawbah sincerely.

I will not listen to his relationship problems or offer any advice except - LEAVE HER, SHE IS YOUR HELLFIRE.

I would keep his secret, and not tell anyone.

And I would hope and pray that his secret doesn't become exposed for the world to know and hold against him on the day of judgement.

Scimi

:sl: scimi you are right brother and the following hadith proves it

ASA

this are very helpful
i hope Allah gives u good things in life

JAK

And some more hadiths on these issue which even the knowledgeable of our times sometimes overlook


Malik :: Book 41 : Hadith 41.1.2

Malik related to me from Yahya ibn Said from Said ibn al-Musayyab that a man from the Aslam tribe came to Abu Bakr as-Siddiq and said to him, "I have committed adultery." Abu Bakr said to him, "Have you mentioned this to anyone else?" He said, "No." Abu Bakr said to him, "Then cover it up with the veil of Allah. Allah accepts tawba from his slaves." His self was still unsettled, so he went to Umar ibn al-Khattab. He told him the same as he had said to Abu Bakr, and Umar told him the same as Abu Bakr had said to him. His self was still not settled so he went to the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and said to him, "I have committed adultery," insistently. The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, turned away from him three times. Each time the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, turned away from him until it became too much. The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, questioned his family, "Does he have an illness which affects his mind, or is he mad ?" They said, "Messenger of Allah, by Allah, he is well." The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Unmarried or married?" They said, "Married, Messenger of Allah." The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, gave the order and he was stoned.




next hadith to the above the same incident of the Aslam tribe

Malik :: Book 41 : Hadith 41.1.3

Malik related to me from Yahya ibn Said that Said ibn al-Musayyab said, "I have heard that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said to a man from the Aslam tribe called Hazzal, 'Hazzal, had you veiled him with your cloak, it would have been better for you.' "


Yahya ibn Said said, "I related this hadith in an assembly among whom was Yazid ibn Nuaym ibn Hazzal al-Aslami. Yazid said, 'Hazzal was my grandfather. This hadith is true.' "

[ceylincemal]

:sl: scimi you are right brother and the following hadith proves it



And some more hadiths on these issue which even the knowledgeable of our times sometimes overlook


Malik :: Book 41 : Hadith 41.1.2

Malik related to me from Yahya ibn Said from Said ibn al-Musayyab that a man from the Aslam tribe came to Abu Bakr as-Siddiq and said to him, "I have committed adultery." Abu Bakr said to him, "Have you mentioned this to anyone else?" He said, "No." Abu Bakr said to him, "Then cover it up with the veil of Allah. Allah accepts tawba from his slaves." His self was still unsettled, so he went to Umar ibn al-Khattab. He told him the same as he had said to Abu Bakr, and Umar told him the same as Abu Bakr had said to him. His self was still not settled so he went to the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and said to him, "I have committed adultery," insistently. The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, turned away from him three times. Each time the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, turned away from him until it became too much. The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, questioned his family, "Does he have an illness which affects his mind, or is he mad ?" They said, "Messenger of Allah, by Allah, he is well." The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Unmarried or married?" They said, "Married, Messenger of Allah." The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, gave the order and he was stoned.




next hadith to the above the same incident of the Aslam tribe

Malik :: Book 41 : Hadith 41.1.3

Malik related to me from Yahya ibn Said that Said ibn al-Musayyab said, "I have heard that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said to a man from the Aslam tribe called Hazzal, 'Hazzal, had you veiled him with your cloak, it would have been better for you.' "


Yahya ibn Said said, "I related this hadith in an assembly among whom was Yazid ibn Nuaym ibn Hazzal al-Aslami. Yazid said, 'Hazzal was my grandfather. This hadith is true.' "

ASA,

JAK i will definitely take the advice and I will tell my friend not to expose herself to anyone.

I appreciate this

May Allah give you the best and health and wealth

Ameen. JAK

[Shamnadanu]

Secret!!!! how can it be secret when you said that publicily !!!!!
These days muslims women ...i hate them...for this person...i didnot want to look at women for dheen...i hope to get someone dheeny...which is Rare....

[aaj]

Secret!!!! how can it be secret when you said that publicily !!!!!
These days muslims women ...i hate them...for this person...i didnot want to look at women for dheen...i hope to get someone dheeny...which is Rare....

She did not reveal the identity of the person or information leading to finding out who that person is. Exposing a person and asking someone for advice regarding a person are two different things.

As for Muslim women comment, it takes two to tango. If you are going to hate the Muslim women then hate the Muslim men as well for taking these women as girlfriends to do haram. I blame the parents more, had their done their job and raised the kids islamically and given them proper islamic education then they wouldn't get into this haram stuff no mater how old they get.

[Shamnadanu]

She did not reveal the identity of the person or information leading to finding out who that person is. Exposing a person and asking someone for advice regarding a person are two different things.

As for Muslim women comment, it takes two to tango. If you are going to hate the Muslim women then hate the Muslim men as well for taking these women as girlfriends to do haram. I blame the parents more, had their done their job and raised the kids islamically and given them proper islamic education then they wouldn't get into this haram stuff no mater how old they get.

In my locality...there are muslim sisters who dont like me at all...instead they got non muslim boys as friends...among one of sisters...i fall in love...for that reason they completely made me for hatred...i was asking her hand for dheeny life...so i was advicing them not to get friendship from those boys...because i knew their intentions...later i do dawah to all boys and earned their distress ...they too me in a way and see me as a foolish person...2 years ago..this happened...i got deppression.....pls Do dua for me to get over

[ceylincemal]

She did not reveal the identity of the person or information leading to finding out who that person is. Exposing a person and asking someone for advice regarding a person are two different things.

As for Muslim women comment, it takes two to tango. If you are going to hate the Muslim women then hate the Muslim men as well for taking these women as girlfriends to do haram. I blame the parents more, had their done their job and raised the kids islamically and given them proper islamic education then they wouldn't get into this haram stuff no mater how old they get.

ASA

JAK akhi. It is true I had not disclosed anything relating to this person.

And yes I agree sometimes kids don't take the right path due to either broken homes or improper education or parents letting children do what they want without consequences

JAK

[Shamnadanu]

oh..you from London or uk...i think its common there...i am india..here its lesser ...still exist

[ceylincemal]

oh..you from London or uk...i think its common there...i am india..here its lesser ...still exist

ASA,
Nope,

I am from the States

Welcome
JAK