View Full Version : Converting to Islam as a woman for a man

02-01-2017, 10:40 AM

I've been with a muslim since a few months now and we are in love. I am a European woman, he is from Iraq. But we both live in a European country.

Can anyone tell me, do I need to convert to Islam in order to marry him?
How is the actual process to convert as a woman? what do I need to do? how long it takes?

I would ask him, but I don't want to seem crazy by mentioning it now. This is just so I can have an idea of what my future could bring me and if I could accept it.

Thank you!

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02-01-2017, 02:44 PM
Hello and welcome to the forum,

Marriage to the people of the book (Christians and Jews) is allowed in Islam so if you are from them then you do not need to convert since all there Abrahamic faiths believe in the same God. If you do not belong to any of them then you will need to convert in order to marry a Muslim, otherwise the marriage will not be valid in Islam. I see your profile says 'Atheism' and if that is the case then you would need to convert before you marry him.

The conversion process is the same regardless of your age or gender. It takes only a few minutes and is very straight forward. To convert, one has to profess the testimony of faith (shahadah). In Other words, the would need to profess that there is no god but Allah and Muhammad is His Messenger. It needs to be said in Arabic though. This is the first of 5 pillars of Islam. You can read more about it here: https://www.islam-guide.com/ch3-16.htm

It's good that you are asking these questions now and willing to convert to marry the man you love. However, I would advise studying the religion of Islam first. You should understand what the religion is and what it requires. You should study it for yourself and make this choice based on your belief in it. Relationships may or may last but this decision of converting is not something small and should be taken with conviction after studying a bit about the religion. So I invite you to study Islam and take it as your personal journey into religion and spirituality. As you bring this journey, you may have many questions and you are more than welcome to ask us here for clarifications.

He is dating you and you two have been together for a few months. What this tells us is that he is not that religious since dating is not allowed in Islam nor any premarital relationships. So know that just because a person is a Muslim doesn't mean they all will be religious, their level of observation of the tenets of the faith will vary. But at the very least the above stated must be met for marriage though.

I hope that answers your question. If you have more, please do let us know.

Umm Malik
02-01-2017, 02:44 PM
Which religion do you follow ?
If you convert to Islam make sure that this will be the best surprise he will ever hear especially if he love you and want you to be his wife
Because we as Muslim don't think just of Dunya but the hear after is important for as than this short period of time and if he love he may be asking Allah every night to guide and to be his wife in Dunya and Akhirah
To be a Muslim you need to belive that there is a creator and he is one .. to believe that Allah (the creator, god ) has sent to us a prophets and the last final massager I'd the prophet muhammad salla lahu a layhi WA sallam
You have to believe in the angels the unseen the the decree of Allah
It firstly and importantly the belief in your heart of those things
We are here sister for any help if interest in Islam and want a specific question we can help you in shallah as we can
Your sister maryam

02-01-2017, 03:02 PM
Hello. Do you have faith in Islam? Simply do you have faith in the existance and oneness of Allah and prophethood of Muhammed ? If you dont have faith your convertion to marry him will not make you a muslim in real

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02-01-2017, 04:17 PM
It's sweet of you to be considering this.

However, I wouldn't advice you to convert *just* for him, because this isn't a solid enough reason to make such a life-changing decision. Everything in this world is temporary and can change, we just don't know, and so if you convert to Islam for a person or a 'worldly' reason then your foundation might not be strong enough to see this journey all the way throughout your life.

Islam is a beautiful religion, and maybe it was through this man you have met that you have been given a glimpse into it. So see this as an opportunity, and study Islam, and if you are drawn to its message, convert because *you* believe that Islam as a faith is the best way for you to live a peaceful and happy life, don't convert for that man, convert because you want to whole-heartedly accept Islam. Believe me, that is the most rewarding and liberating part of it.

So do this for yourself, because it will make you happy, and not because you think it will make him happy.

02-01-2017, 05:50 PM
Welcome to forum. Glad to know of your interest in Islam.

02-02-2017, 10:26 AM
For those asking shes an atheist I believe so, from her bio. And welcome to the forum sister. Honestly I'm glad you've come up with this before you get into a mess later on.

Honestly if you're interested to convert it should solely be done for you only. And also the love for God and respecting him. Not for anyone else and any human at all.

Plus explore the deen first and learn about Islam. You can simply always ask questions on here and you will be guided hopefully. But make sure you understand the basics of Islam before ever making such a hasty decision. This way it's much more meaningful to you and it has importance to you rather than doing it for "love" - which doesn't always necessarily last.

Wishing you the best

02-02-2017, 10:51 AM
Thank you to all of you!

I am considering this because I love him, and because his character showed me many times that there is a higher power...can't really explain it...it's just something I feel.
And yes I am an atheist, so I need to consider every aspect before converting or before even deciding on it...
I would do it for him of course, but I won't do it just for him if that makes sense.

02-02-2017, 11:11 AM
Yeah I can understand the motivation comes from him. Yeah that perfectly makes sense. And I guess take your book and start learning, because sooner or later the more you know the better it is for you. And ofc there's a higher power that obviously true and im glad you're seeing it. Wishing you the best success

02-02-2017, 10:32 PM
Originally Posted by samura
... there is a higher power...can't really explain it...
There are degrees of faith. If you have faith then don't wait. Accept Islam and find salvation.

02-06-2017, 10:51 AM
It will make me happy to be with him, so its for our happiness.

02-06-2017, 12:27 PM
Welcome to the forums sister :)

When there's love, it is natural to want to do things that please your partner, so I understand where you are coming from. Like others have stated here, you need to be sure you do this for you because believe me, your faith will be tested. I find myself saying this often, but, the luster of a new marriage/new relationship wears off rather quickly and it will be your faith that keeps your marriage together, so that HAS to be strong.

When I married my first husband, I was Christian and he knew I had interest in Islam (obviously, my "love" for him influenced that interest) and we got married before I became a Muslim. I eventually became Muslim on my own, in fact, we were in the middle of a fight and not speaking when I took my shahada (decleration of faith).

As you learn Islam, you may come to find that he doesn't (or does!) practice they way he should be and this can become a big issue in your marriage and it can affect your own practice or turn you away from Islam all together. This happens when we do something for the sake of a person.

If he is dating you and being intimate with you, then he is not practicing and his treatment of you will be affected in the future. If he is keeping his distance and being respectful, then his interest is a mature one with the correct intentions and a reflection of somebody who takes their faith seriously.

I have been in your shoes, so I'm only speaking from experience, not trying to be negative. My marriage didn't work out and I find this to be a common theme for women like us. So be VERY cautious and observant. I understand you are in love so what I'm saying probably won't have much of an affect :) it's just the nature of things.

When I became Muslim, I didn't know much about it. I just had a deep faith in God and the little I had learned lined up with my beliefs and understanding. Be sure that you take the faith for your own self because he may or may not stay in the picture. Islam is life changing in a beautiful way and you have to come in with openness to learn.

Best of luck to you!

02-06-2017, 12:35 PM
What the sister above said is so true. Love is a non lasting thing at times especially if you are dating. It can become less and less attractive and lovely as time goes. Make sure you check his behaviour is he really practising is he fearing Allah himself. Is he doing things with you that he shouldn't be.

Im saying this because when you do come into to terms with believing in Islam you will have to make sure the one you marry will guide you to the right path and your ultimate goal. This is because you will live with that person, your thoughts need to be compatible you will have children together and need to be a good influence for your kids.

So sister think long term, make sure you think this through and may Allah guide you to the truth and help you in your affairs.

02-06-2017, 07:36 PM

You cannot convert to Islam for a man, you must convert to Islam for sincerely believing there one God and Muhammad is his messenger

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