format_quote Originally Posted by
ummu
Assalamu alaikum all, jazkalllah khayr for all your comments and the time you've spent reading my post. May Allah bestow blessings on you all.I have really appreciated your well wishes and support.
I would like to ask your opinion on one important matter, I said previously that he has told both my elder sisters and grandparents and uncles that he doesn't want the marriage anymore on separation occasions.he says shaiytaan overcame him all those times but I don't believe him. My trust for him has completely gone.
I feel compelled to leave him because i don't want jeopardise my relationship with my parents as my mum says she will disown me if I leave him. And I know if I take him back I will not be secure with him.the trust is a big thing.
Sister i HAVE the feeling, that your husband may be a close relative(like a cousin for example) as your mother is willing to disown you if you would leave him.
Whatever your mother would want to do, it is NOT her decision or HER life. Looking from a logical perspective it almost seems like she is trying to save HER face and less care for the well being of her daughter as long as she does not lose face about this matter.
Again, my argument is still, do not listen to anybody who would say divorce him or who would say do not divorce him. It is YOUR choice and your choice alone. You can indeed take the perspectives of relatives in this matter but it is ONLY a advice nothing more and nothing less as our advice here on this forum. Within Islam the parents indeed are important, but there is also a border to where they have rights over you. As long as your well being is part of their decision, you MUST listen to them. If they do not care about your well being, then you are NOT obliged to listen to them. However remember to NOT look at it from your point of view, always look at it from Islamic point of view. You might not like something, but you're parents say you must do and also from Islamic perspective it is good for you, then you MUST listen to them as what they are telling you to do is not harmful. If they would tell you to do something that might be harmful to you from an Islamic point of view, then you are NOT obliged to listen to them and follow their "command" so to say.
So again, do not listen to your relatives who say you must divorce him or to your mother who says you must not divorce him. The choice is yours and follow the path of Allah(swt). Allah(swt) knows your intention. Your mother might die sooner than you and if you would live a life of misery because you did not divorce him, while you wanted to divorce him..you will rather come to hate your mother instead. As your life is no longer at home, but at a house that you do not like to be there.
Looking even more at a logical perspective, your mother will suffer on the Day of Judgement because of her doing injustice to you, while if would decide to divorce him, she thinking you did injustice to her is misplaced. As you know Allah(swt) will not punish you for trying to save yourself from misery.
So all in all, again please do not listen to your mother who says DO NOT divorce him or to other relatives who say DIVORCE him.