I lost my newborn baby

[anonymous]

Asalamu alaykum,

Two years ago Allah blessed me and u was pregnant as soon as I got married. I was so happy as motherhood is such an amazing thing.

My pregnancy was tough. I had severe sickness and should have been hospitalized for dehydration but doctors didn't take me seriously. I was put off most foods and was severely tired.

Me and my husband found out the gender of the baby and I was over the moon.

The day she was born was the happiest ever. I had a c section due to her positioning and I heard her cry. Later in recovery she suddenly stopped breathing and doctors tried for 30 mins to being her back to life but failed. They came in and drew the curtains and told me she stopped breathing. My heart dropped and I was in tears. They said they r trying to being her back. I made dua so much. They returned to say she had gone. Her short precious life of 30 mins. I didn't even get to hold her whilst she was alive. I now live with a broken heart. I cry when I am writing this.

The last time I saw her was her funeral I gave her a ghusl then we buried her..

I now find it hard to be round pregnant women and also women with kids. It destroys my heart even more so.

Allah knows my pain but I don't know why he took my precious daughter away from me.

A year down the line It still hurts me.

[Alpha Dude]

Wa alaykum salam,

The pain you are feeling is natural given the circumstance. It is a big test from Allah.

May Allah give you patience during this time and soothe your heart. Aameen.

[MidnightRose]

:salam:

The following is some Prophetic guidance that I hope is of some help.

Question

What is the reward for those parents whom one of their children have passed away in infancy?

Answer

There are numerous verses of the Holy Quran and authentic Hadith’s of Nabi (sallalahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) which mention the rewards and glad tidings for those who are patient and exercise sabr. If the parents of the child accept Allah Ta’ala’s decision without questioning his wisdom, and exercise patience, they too will insha Allah receive the rewards described for those who exercise patience when any type of calamity befalls.

In addition to the above, the following Hadiths explain the rewards that the parents (who have lost one child) will achieve.

1) Sayyiduna Abu Musa Al Ash’ari (radiyallahu ‘anhu) reports that Nabi (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:

“When a person’s child passes away, Allah says to the Angels, ‘Have you’ll removed the soul of my servant’s child?’, When the Angels reply in the affirmative, Allah then asks, ‘Have you’ll taken away the soul of the joy of his heart?’. The Angels again reply in the affirmative. Allah then asks, what did my servant have to say? The Angels reply, ‘He praised you and recited Inna Lillahi Wa inna Ilayhi Raji’un. Allah then says, Build for my servant a house in Jannah and call it ‘Baytul Hamd’ ”

(Sunan Tirmidhi, Hadith: 1021- Declared sound (hasan) by Imam Tirmidhi and Sahih Ibn Hibban; Al Ihsan, Hadith: 2948)

2) Mu’awiyah ibn Qurrah relates from his father, Qurrah ibn Iyas (radiyallahu ‘anhu) that a Sahabi would bring along his son and visit Nabi (sallalahu ‘alayhi wa sallam). Nabi (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) asked him if he loves his son. He replied yes. Thereafter this Sahabi did not visit Nabi (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) for some time. Upon enquiry, Nabi (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was informed that his son had passed away. Nabi (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) asked him, ‘Don’t you love [the fact that] that you will find him waiting for you at the doors of Jannah’. Another Sahabi then asked, ‘O Nabi of Allah, is this reward specifically for him or for all of us’? Nabi (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) replied, ‘Rather this reward is for all of you’

(Sahih Ibn Hibban; Al Ihsan, Hadith: 2947 and Mustadrak Hakim, vol. 1 pg. 384- Declared authentic by Imam Hakim, Hafiz Dhahabi and Hafiz Ibn Hajar. Refer: Fathul Bari, under Hadith: 6424)

3) Sayyiduna ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Abbas (radiyallahu ‘anhuma) reports that Nabi (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:

“Those who lose two children, Allah will enter them [the parents] into Jannah”, Sayyidatuna ‘Aaishah (radiyallahu ‘anha) then asked, ‘What about those who lose one child only’? Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) replied, ‘O the one who has been inspired [to ask such questions], they too will receive the same reward’…”

(Sunan Tirmidhi, Hadith: 1062- Declared sound –hasan- by Imam Tirmidhi)

4) Sayyiduna Abu Hurayrah (radiyallahu ‘anhu) reports that Nabi (sallalahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, Allah Ta’ala says:

“The only reward that I will grant my servant when he anticipates reward after his beloved [child/brother and all those people that are beloved to him] passes away is Jannah”

(Sahih Bukhari, Hadith: 6424)

Note: The above narrations mention the reward for those parents who have lost one child. There are numerous other narrations which discuss the reward for those parents who lose two, three or more children.

And Allah Ta’ala Knows best.

Answered by: Moulana Suhail Motala

Source

[sister herb]

Salam alaykum

That was so sad post. I am sorry for your lost. May Allah ease your pain.

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[talibilm]

Asalamu alaykum,

Two years ago Allah blessed me and u was pregnant as soon as I got married. I was so happy as motherhood is such an amazing thing.

My pregnancy was tough. I had severe sickness and should have been hospitalized for dehydration but doctors didn't take me seriously. I was put off most foods and was severely tired.

Me and my husband found out the gender of the baby and I was over the moon.

The day she was born was the happiest ever. I had a c section due to her positioning and I heard her cry. Later in recovery she suddenly stopped breathing and doctors tried for 30 mins to being her back to life but failed. They came in and drew the curtains and told me she stopped breathing. My heart dropped and I was in tears. They said they r trying to being her back. I made dua so much. They returned to say she had gone. Her short precious life of 30 mins. I didn't even get to hold her whilst she was alive. I now live with a broken heart. I cry when I am writing this.

The last time I saw her was her funeral I gave her a ghusl then we buried her..

I now find it hard to be round pregnant women and also women with kids. It destroys my heart even more so.

Allah knows my pain but I don't know why he took my precious daughter away from me.

A year down the line It still hurts me.

:sl:

Innalilahi wa inna ilaihi rajiuuoon.

Allah appreciates any of his slave accepts the destiny destined for him with sabr . Akirat is the best . And Allah wishes THE BEST FOR HIS BEST SLAVES such as prophets and the likes of them whose Akirat was the best but dunya with Tests.

Book of Destiny (Kitab-ul-Qadr)

Muslim :: Book 33 : Hadith 6436

'A'isha, the mother of the believers, said that Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) was called to lead the funeral prayer of a child of the Ansar. I said: Allah's Messenger, there is happiness for this child who is a bird from the birds of Paradise for it committed no sin nor has he reached the age when one can commit sin. He said: 'A'isha, per adventure, it may be otherwise, because God created for Paradise those who are fit for it while they were yet in their father's loins and created for Hell those who are to go to Hell. He created them for Hell while they were yet in their father's loins.



Muslim :: Book 32 : Hadith 6370

Abu Hassan reported: I said to Abu Huraira that my two children had died. Would you narrate to me anything from Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) a hadith which would soothe our hearts in our bereavements? He said: Yes. Small children are the fowls of paradise Paradise . If one of them meets his father (or he said his parents) he would take hold of his cloth, or he said with his hand as I take hold of the hem of your cloth (with my hand). And he (the child child) would not take off (his hand) from it until Allah causes his father to enter paradise Paradise. This hadith has been narrated on the authority of Tamim with the same chain of transmitters. And he is reported to have said: Did you hear from Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) anything which may soothe our heart in our bereavements? He said: Yes.

[M.I.A.]

im sorry for your loss, may allah swt have mercy upon you and grant you sabre.

give yourself time to heal.

dont be afraid to try again, i have known a few people who have gone through the same pain.

and all of them have kids now.

i would turn my back on the world and never come back..

but i know nothing stays the same insha'allah.

stay strong. its ok to deal with things in your own way..

and when you find yourself in a better place.. shout about it like crazy on ib forum..

we will wait.

[noraina]

Wa alaykum assalam,

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'oon

Ukhti, I am so sorry for your loss. The pain you are feeling is so natural because of the nature of the test you are having.

There is always a reason behind any decree of Allah swt, even though from our limited perception we may not be able to see why, it is always, ultimately, for the best.

Your child is in a better place, you can be assured of that. And as the above hadiths point out, the reward for those parents who bear this with patience is great.

May Allah swt ease all of your pain and ease all of your affairs. Ameen.

[aminah996]

InshaAllah sister Allah gives you immense rewards for going through such a tough phase.

My duas are with you.

[MuslimInshallah]

Wa alaikum assalaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh my dear,


(gently) Of course you feel pain. Who would not? We miss our little darlings. And they will always be there, like butterflies on the edge of our perception. Just as we miss our other loved ones: grandparents, parents, siblings... we see the place where they are not. And we wish we could hold them preciously in our arms, with love.

But we can't. (gently) And learning to let go and see what we do have is one of the great lessons in life, I think. And learning to trust God and wrap ourselves in his Care is another, it seems to me.

If everything were perfectly as we wish them to be... how could we grow in closeness to Allah? (gently) We all wonder: why this? Why me/him/them? And in the fire of our pain, we have trouble seeing the phoenix that can rise from the ashes of our torment. But trust me, my dear: in time, the outlines of the reasons may become clearer. Like the Prophet Musa (AS) as he accompanied al-Khidr, we are shocked and wonder: why did Allah smash the bottoms of our boats? How can we go forth in the sea of life with wrecked boats? (mildly) But boats can be mended, and though we are a little delayed, we can go forth and seek our fortunes. And in the longer run, perhaps we may see the soldiers of the tyrant king come seeking boats to seize and steal away, and thank God that ours are of no use to them...

(gently) A child is not a boat, of course. But what I am trying (perhaps clumsily) to say is this: there are always good reasons behind the tragedies and difficulties in life. Perhaps in time we will appreciate them in this life. And perhaps they will only be clear in the Next. But trust in God. There is something to be learned in this. There are opportunities to grow closer to Him... if we choose to take them.

(gently) You feel pain. Loss. Grief. You probably understand these better now than you have ever known them... but as long as you keep these closely hugged to your heart, you will feel terrible. But if you can look at them, kiss them, and let them go, to wander into their proper place in your memories, these feelings can help you understand the pain of others. They can teach you compassion. Because compassion needs understanding. And now you have a great understanding- (oh my dear! Such a deep understanding! I wish that I could hug you and share your tears!).

Allah is Al-Rahman and Al-Rahim. To taste of compassion is to get closer to the One Who is The Compassionate. (gently) We have a purpose in life: to worship Allah. And, it seems to me, to try to faintly echo the Beauty of our Lord is the best of worship.

Take your pain, my dear, and use it to look at others: the refugee woman who cries for her lost child, the elderly man who has lost his beloved wife of many years, the young man who drove the car that crashed and killed his best friend... Use it to look at others, and to try to see how you can comfort them. Can you give the refugee shelter? Can you drop by the old man's house with warm meal and some kind words? Can you be lenient when considering the penalties for the foolish young car driver?

So today I grieve with you, and hold you dear. There are few pains for a young mother more shattering than losing one's baby. Yes. Grieve. And then... honour your little one by picking yourself up. By turning to God. By becoming a more beautiful, wonderful human being. Turn her little life into the starting point of great goodness. How? (smile) This is something that you will have to think about and work on. Look at the gifts Allah has Gifted you with: strength, maybe? Wealth? A certain position in society? A particular skill? Knowledge? Only you know how you can be of benefit to people, animals, even plants... Along with worshipping Allah, we have as our mandate in this world to look after it wisely -(smile) which, if done with the aim of Pleasing God is a form of worship, too!-. (smile) So look around: what can you do? What can you be?

Inshallah, I will pray for you. (gently) And forgive me if I have hurt you.

May God, the Knowing, the Kind, Enfold you in His Tender Care.

[azc]

:wa: inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajioon. May Allah swt bless you with best reward for this loss. Ameen

[Simple_Person]

Sister, ina lilahi wa ina ilayhi raji3oen

Know indeed that everything in this dunya is a test. Even our children. Even though i my self do not have children or am married in that sense, i might feel your pain although not even in the least bit as severe as you. May Allah(swt) relieve you of that pain.

For other sisters and brothers who do not have children or have children or spouse is pregnant or maybe still single. I would recommend to watch a documentary called "The Milky Way (2014)" - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4240878/
Very useful knowledge especially in the current times.

There are some scenes that you will find women breast being revealed, so be warned!!

[Al Sultan]

Assalamo alikum sisters/brothers

I feel really sad now, but I know, and I put my faith in he who made this world, everything on Earth is a test sister, always be patient, if you do, Allah will bless you with millions of rewards, I'll never forget you in my dua, and may Allah bless you with the best reward for this sad loss.....

[Al Sultan]

Inna lillahi, wa ina lahu rajeeoun

[Al Sultan]

Muslim :: Book 32 : Hadith 6370

Abu Hassan reported: I said to Abu Huraira that my two children had died. Would you narrate to me anything from Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) a hadith which would soothe our hearts in our bereavements? He said: Yes. Small children are the fowls of paradise Paradise . If one of them meets his father (or he said his parents) he would take hold of his cloth, or he said with his hand as I take hold of the hem of your cloth (with my hand). And he (the child child) would not take off (his hand) from it until Allah causes his father to enter paradise Paradise. This hadith has been narrated on the authority of Tamim with the same chain of transmitters. And he is reported to have said: Did you hear from Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) anything which may soothe our heart in our bereavements? He said: Yes.

Jazak Allah khairan brother.

[aaj]

:wasalam:

inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajioon

It's hard for anyone to comprehend the pain and sorrow you are going through, except for those going through the same . The bond of a mother and child is miracle of Allah. While we offer our condolence and words of comfort, ultimately, it is something you will have to come to terms with. While it kills you inside to know that a piece of you was taken away, know that you truly are never separate from your child. She lives on in your heart, in your memory and in your love of her and she too is waiting for you in the heavens to reunite with you. Know that this is only a temporary separation only to be reunited again.

May Allah ease your pain and give you the patience to grow through this and have more kids so that she can siblings to play with when you all will be reunited in Jannah.

Inshallah have a read the links below as part of your healing process. They offer much more words of solace then we have given here. There is also a book you should get. It's called "Sorrow to Serenity", it's about loosing a child and dealing with the pain of that. I was unable to find a pdf link for it but I do have a e-copy I can get to you if you like.


“Where is my child?”
http://childrenofjannah.com/our-work...e-is-my-child/

The reward of one whose child dies and bears that with patience
https://islamqa.info/en/21434

The destiny and state of deceased Muslim children
https://www.islamweb.net/emainpage/i...twaId&Id=16156


Book: Don't be sad
http://www.islamicbulletin.org/free_...not_be_sad.pdf

[Serinity]

Wa alaykum as-salam,

I know of my Grandmother, who also had a baby who died in infancy. may Allah grant you Shifaah, and pls make plenty of dua, ask Allah for guidance in whatever you do.

[anonymous]

Thank you everyone who has responded. I just want everyone to know life is really short. Events like this can really break a heart for life. I wish she was here with me but of course that will not happen.

She was a beautiful little girl who I was severely attached to. Her kicks made me smile. Her cry when she was born made me smile she was finally out. Her passing away devastated me.

The doctors gave me my daughter to hold when she had passed. Can you ever imagine holding your dead child? I held her and she became cold. I kissed her and eventually we said goodbye.

Due to legal reasons she had a post mortem. I saw her afterwards at her funeral. To see your child having had that broke my heart. We buried her. In 6 days I was pregnant, gave birth, had a my daughter alive, then pass then post mortem then burial.

I miss her.

She will always be in my heart.

Appreciate what you have. You never know when it is gone.