and i understood the question that "is allah your special deity of islam?" like how buddha is to buddhists.
And i said no.
Please help me i didn't intend to say i don't worship allah, i love allah (swt) and i love his apostle (may peace and blessings be upon him) please if i apostated i'd be ruined
You made the statement not meaning the apparent words. In Arabic this is also known as "Sabaq-ul-Lisaan". You didn't mean what you had said. At the time of saying it, you had 100% Imaan in Allaah Ta`aalaa and that He is the One and Only Ilaah. There is no God besides Him. Thus, you have not apostasized. Nevertheless, make Tawbah and Istighfaar for having said so.
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