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Fowzie
02-28-2017, 09:03 AM
Asalmu alaykum hope everyone has a good day inshallah

I'm a first wife and my husband decided to take on a second wife, it's extremely hard for me and I'm trying to be very patient, may allah reward me.
What annoys me the most is that the second wife always causing problems she even found my contact details and decided to send me a message saying stuff like "how she is the chosen one and he loves her the most and that I'm jealous and bla bla bla, she does everything in her power to try and make me jealous taking pics posting it of her and my husband she even came to a point that she stalks my social media and I have decided to block her make a new social media where she's won't be able to find me. If you're claiming to be happy and to be chosen one why would you be so focused on me and ruining my marriage I mean don't get me wrong it don't work I can go in on her and play her at her own game at the end of the day what will I gain from it. I'm busy focusing on my life and my family that to me she don't exist she's is the one looking for me and trying to bash me every opportunity she gets and this women has just come into his life not long ago the nerve. At the end of the day it's her that's unhappy and jealous and won't get far, She stresses him out and put him through god knows what I try to stay out of it, to me it's good lol you the one that married her now you can deal with it. I'm trying to be so patient and make dua' to allah. This women came into his life not long ago and she's acting like she's the first wife and I did her wrong by marrying her husband the nerve on this woman,
Don't get me wrong there have been times where I wanted to do some things but that's what she wants a reaction and I have noticed when I don't pay her any attention that's when she will do the most she has no respect and no shame she would
Blow up his fone while we together send messages I have given him a alternative if you don't keep you're wife in check there will be problems I have involved other family members showing messages of her swearing at me and messaging me, I'm not going to drive myself crazy for some women that has insecurities and isn't happy with herself.
Anyways i just wanted some advice and see if other sisters going through the same situation as me

Jazakalah
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Indefinable
02-28-2017, 09:18 AM
Wa 'alaykum assalaam wa rahmatullaah.

Firstly, I'm not going through your predicament, so my advice may be way off. But I hope it helps anyway insha'Allaah.

Secondly, continue remaining patient. When your husband comes to you, be the source of comfort for him insha'Allaah, don't gloat at his issues with the second wife. Don't bad-mouth her, and keep whatever she says to yourself, for after all, she is your sister in Islaam.

Thirdly, ignore her, and never give anyone the satisfaction of seeing you down. Complain only to Allaah the Most Merciful, for He is the All-Aware, the All-Knowing, and only He can change hearts. It's okay you came on here seeking advice, but I cannot stress enough, that try and please your husband and look out for his happiness. Maybe he regrets his decision of taking another wife? It doesn't mean you should add more to his misery.

Finally, may Allaah subhanahu wa ta'ala continue to reward you for your sabr. It takes a lot of emotional strength to deal with co-wives, but be wise in your actions insha'Allaah.
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azc
02-28-2017, 12:35 PM
May Allah swt make it easy for you. Ameen
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SemiraE
03-01-2017, 08:17 AM
Originally Posted by Fowzie
Asalmu alaykum hope everyone has a good day inshallah

I'm a first wife and my husband decided to take on a second wife, it's extremely hard for me and I'm trying to be very patient, may allah reward me.
What annoys me the most is that the second wife always causing problems she even found my contact details and decided to send me a message saying stuff like "how she is the chosen one and he loves her the most and that I'm jealous and bla bla bla, she does everything in her power to try and make me jealous taking pics posting it of her and my husband she even came to a point that she stalks my social media and I have decided to block her make a new social media where she's won't be able to find me. If you're claiming to be happy and to be chosen one why would you be so focused on me and ruining my marriage I mean don't get me wrong it don't work I can go in on her and play her at her own game at the end of the day what will I gain from it. I'm busy focusing on my life and my family that to me she don't exist she's is the one looking for me and trying to bash me every opportunity she gets and this women has just come into his life not long ago the nerve. At the end of the day it's her that's unhappy and jealous and won't get far, She stresses him out and put him through god knows what I try to stay out of it, to me it's good lol you the one that married her now you can deal with it. I'm trying to be so patient and make dua' to allah. This women came into his life not long ago and she's acting like she's the first wife and I did her wrong by marrying her husband the nerve on this woman,
Don't get me wrong there have been times where I wanted to do some things but that's what she wants a reaction and I have noticed when I don't pay her any attention that's when she will do the most she has no respect and no shame she would
Blow up his fone while we together send messages I have given him a alternative if you don't keep you're wife in check there will be problems I have involved other family members showing messages of her swearing at me and messaging me, I'm not going to drive myself crazy for some women that has insecurities and isn't happy with herself.
Anyways i just wanted some advice and see if other sisters going through the same situation as me

Jazakalah
Hello, I won't adress to you as sister since I am not muslim, and I don't know if I am allowed to...

But I can give you some opinions.

She's probably in love with him, as you are. In my opinion there will always be a competition between you for his attention even though I know he has to give you the same. But you are his first love, nothing will change that... So just be yourself, don't react to her bad manners. Be gentle and caring with your husband and be your best self. Do not change just because this new woman has comes into your lives.

I hope you will be happy regardles.
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sister herb
03-01-2017, 08:57 AM
Originally Posted by SemiraE
Hello, I won't adress to you as sister since I am not muslim, and I don't know if I am allowed to...
You are our sister, sister in humanity as we sometimes say.
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Bar─▒┼čEkinci
03-01-2017, 09:47 AM
Alaykum wa salaam sister! Firstly sister, I want to congratulate you! Allah is testing your patience. And you are going well! There is a prize at the end of this job Inshallah! Of course nobody can claims that your work is not easy. But you are strong. You won't give up. Allah is with you, with us! Just a little more patience and dua. Inshallah Everything will be better. I believe it with all of my heart. Be sweet-natured, my sister. Allah is watching. He knows that who is right or unfair. Just trust Allah and be patient! Allah loves you and he is testing you at the moment! Inshallah you will be one of the winners at the end of this test! Respects!
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