format_quote Originally Posted by
xFakingDan
Hello my name is Danial I migrated here from Singapore a couple of years ago and I'm in year 10 at the moment. I am doing this because I feel trapped. I do not believe in god anymore and I am afraid of my parents. My parents are great and kind and I love them with all my heart but they are true believers and I feel burdened with the weight of religion. Trust me when I say I am knowledgeable about Islam, I go for lessons and Friday prayers and I listen to sermons so usually if I write this down, I expect an answer saying that the devil is whispering in my ear but I do not want to hear that.
Assalaam alaikum, not hello :) you joined a Muslim forum, remember? When you are guest, you comply to house rules, no? did your parents forget to teach you this? or are you just bad at listening??
Islam aside, I notice a fault in your very first line from your OP - as I mentioned just now, the fault is not with your parents or with Islam - it is with you. Why? you ask. I will come to that. And believe me, I won't be using satan as an excuse lol.
You ready? gooood.
format_quote Originally Posted by
xFakingDan
Praying for me is like a hollow ritual and the fact that I have to miss school for Friday prayers just straight out angers me.
Well, you're pubescent and most likely have a torrent of haraam thoughts running through your mind every minute anyway, I'm NOT surprised. Do you really think you are thinking with a clear and focused mind while being pubescent? Do you entertain self delusion while claiming religions are self delusion in defense of your own inability to reason due to your "pubescent" state? Think about it.
format_quote Originally Posted by
xFakingDan
My parents say that they don't want 'western culture' to lead me astray from the 'true' path but the truth is I stopped believing ever since I was 7 and I was still living in Singapore at the time.
Aaaaand, what is wrong with your own culture?
format_quote Originally Posted by
xFakingDan
Furthermore, reading the Quran and praying doesn't light a spark or anything in me in fact I find a chore to do so.
Not surprised, year 10 and confused is hardly surprising young lad. I used to get beat with sticks at that age in masjid for mispronouncing ayaat of Qur'an. I apostated. Then life went from normal to baaaaaad but it happened so slowly, I didn't notice until it was almost too late - thankfully, through no effort of my own but entirely by Allahs mercy, I came to guidance. Not everyone is as fortunate as me though.
What you wish to let go of, may never come back. You do not know what you are asking.
format_quote Originally Posted by
xFakingDan
I am afraid to tell my parents but I just can't stand doing things that I don't believe in.
DO you believe in murder? No? gooood - why not make a big deal out of it? Murder is a bigger problem than religion ever has been. So why not make a song and dance about that? Aren't you focusing on the wrong things?
You claim you know Islam - you know nothing lad. Nothing, at - all. I mean, you join a Muslim forum, claim you are Muslim, claim you know Islam, and start your post with "HELLO" ???? realllllyyy?
Come on!!! No one who makes such claims would stumble at something so basic, their understanding of Muslim sensitivities would ensure they present the correct etiquette. Meanwhile there's you - no decorum, just hubris. You ain't fooling me,
format_quote Originally Posted by
xFakingDan
don't mind the fact that we can't drink or eat non halal meat because to be completely honest even if I wasn't a Muslim I still wouldn't want to drink or do any of that stuff. I'm not looking for any references to the Quran saying that I'm going to go to hell and believe me when I say I've seen a lot of them and it scares me a lot because if I so say so myself, I'm a good kid I help my parents I love them I do well at school I do my fair share of charity work and I don't know. I feel disconnected from the rest of my family. Everytime they talk about god, inside my heart I am cringing but I have to put on this facade, hiding who I truly am.
What's that? a boy who believes he is really a girl in a flowery dress and a bright pink balloon? Who are you ? tell us. LOL.
format_quote Originally Posted by
xFakingDan
want to tell my parents, I do but I can't and I don't want to have to hold this in my heart for the rest of my life. Anyways thanks for reading this, maybe now you hate me or whatever but the truth of the matter is that I haven't been believing in Islam since I was 6 or 7 and all the praying and reading I've done up till now just makes me feel sad and hurt inside.
WOW.
No one hates you :) But what you need to know is that, we've seen these types of OP's a lot here, your problem is nothing new. You think it is, because you are in the situation - but we here, we seen it all before. Periodically, someone joins with the same issues as you.
Stick around. Be patient. Make some friends, we're a pretty cool bunch here.
And may the peace, be with you.
Scimi