Is this zina, do I have a past?

[anonymous]

I was manipulated as a child and committed oral-sex and had it done on me + other less serious stuff. I didn't even know what it was then but feel so sick now and ashamed, part of it was out of fear of beating but I would have rather because sometimes now I feel like to jump out of a window.

But just thinking about it I don't know if I committed zina? Can someone help me plz

[anonymous]

If someone asked if I had a past must I say yes

[ardianto]

:sl:

That's not your fault. You were just a victim. So, don't think that you should punish yourself. What you must do now is continue your life as good person, and build a good future.

:)

[azc]

I was manipulated as a child and committed oral-sex and had it done on me + other less serious stuff. I didn't even know what it was then but feel so sick now and ashamed, part of it was out of fear of beating but I would have rather because sometimes now I feel like to jump out of a window.But just thinking about it I don't know if I committed zina? Can someone help me plz

try to forget your past....

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[azc]

If someone asked if I had a past must I say yes

no, not all. Don't disclose any incident of your past which can make your head down, not even to your friends, husband, sisters.

[Scimitar]

If someone asked if I had a past must I say yes

Nope. Seems like you was forced.

You say NO and hide your past in the hope that Allah will also hide it.

Stay strong.

Your honour is being returned to you in sha Allah. So protect it!!!!

God bless,

Scimi

[Mustafa16]

Nope. Seems like you was forced.

You say NO and hide your past in the hope that Allah will also hide it.

Stay strong.

Your honour is being returned to you in sha Allah. So protect it!!!!

God bless,

Scimi

what are you guys thinking???? this sister/brother needs therapy, not "honour"!!!!!! child sexual abuse is a serious problem with serious effects, that need to be addressed by a professional!!!!

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum,

It's not zina, it's molestation. The person who victimized you should be in jail because what was done to you was unlawful and who's to say it won't be done to someone else? If this is something that is causing you any distress it should be sought out by a professional, or if it's something you are strong enough to heal from on your own with the help of ALlah subhanahu wa ta'ala then take that course. When it comes to your future or anyone asking you such personal questions (eg. marriage), you have every right to keep this a secret.

[Scimitar]

what are you guys thinking???? this sister/brother needs therapy, not "honour"!!!!!! child sexual abuse is a serious problem with serious effects, that need to be addressed by a professional!!!!

This is an islamic forum - she will get islamic advice.

If she wants to have therapy - she will seek it.

Matters like these affect greatly the self esteem of a person, you're too young to understand these things. For you, honour is a very linear concept due to your age. in sha Allah when you grow, this post you had issues with, will make more sense.

Scimi

[ZeeshanParvez]

I was manipulated as a child and committed oral-sex and had it done on me + other less serious stuff. I didn't even know what it was then but feel so sick now and ashamed, part of it was out of fear of beating but I would have rather because sometimes now I feel like to jump out of a window.

But just thinking about it I don't know if I committed zina? Can someone help me plz

No it is not.

You do not have to disclose your past to anyone.

As a matter of fact, you are to keep it to yourself.

[Mustafa16]

perhaps to yourself from all others EXCEPT a professional and a loved one

[Bobbyflay23]

what are you guys thinking???? this sister/brother needs therapy, not "honour"!!!!!! child sexual abuse is a serious problem with serious effects, that need to be addressed by a professional!!!!

Mustfa I'm sure you wouldn't know by your reaction but if you compare a professional working on a mentally ill to someone who read the Quran every day the professional barley did anything after 10 years but the Quran can fix he problem within a few weeks but you just have to be sincere to allah call me a liar but I've seen it work on someone with a bunch of different disorders and I used it and it cured me when I used to have depression

[Bobbyflay23]

Also to the op even if what you did was on purpose you where a child so you don't get held accountable and jumping out a window is worse then zina and you can repent for zina if you kill yourself it's impossible to repent because your allready dead losing hope in allahs mercy is considered a sin too remember that

[MuslimInshallah]

Assalaamu alaikum, my dear,


(gently) I am very sorry to hear what you have suffered, and how you continue to suffer. If you were a child at the time you were molested, and furthermore, you didn't even understand what was happening... how could you have "a past"?! You are innocent.

You mention "and less serious stuff"... no, any time someone takes sexual advantage of a child, it is always serious. And if there was a deep bond of trust (if the person who abused you was an adult in a position of trust)... then the breaking of that trust is a deep hurt in and of itself.

Furthermore, even if you were not afraid of being beaten... even if you had been taken advantage of through pretty words and offers of treats, to gain a semblance of agreement... you are not responsible. Because this is a manipulation by an adult of a child.

(gently) My dear, you are pure and clean. Please do not burden yourself with the feelings of shame and guilt that rightfully belong to the man who hurt you.

As for disclosing what happened to you... this is up to you, my dear. If you want to seek counselling, then do so. If you want to tell your future husband because this is something that is causing difficulties for you with intimacy, then this is something you can do, if you feel that it is appropriate. If you want report the person who harmed you to the police (to protect other children...?), you may do so.... And if you do not want to talk about it (at least for now- you can always change your mind), then don't. (gently) You have been forced enough.

Again, you did nothing wrong. You did not sin. You are free and clear of what happened. Indeed, the fact that you fear to displease Allah so much that you are so worried about having done so... (smile) says to me that you are a good and decent person. So hold onto this goodness in you, and let go of taking responsibility for this man's misdeeds.


May God, the Gentle, the Loving, Enfold you in His Care.

[Brother_40805]

It is not zina if you weren't in the right state of mind while you were in the act.

Remember three condition Allah will not question a person under.

1 - while sleeping
2 - not being in right state of mind
3 - I can't remember the third one right now but I know the above are right.