Originally Posted by Simply
Assalaamu alaikum sister, and a warm welcome to the forum.
Originally Posted by Simply
I just wanted to clarify a general principle, that we should not seek any human being's permission to practice any part of Islam. See the following translation of a hadith:
Sayyiduna ‘Ali (radiyallahu ‘anhu) reports that Nabi (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:
"There is no obedience to the creation (if it entails) the disobedience of the Creator." (Sahih ibn Hibban; Al Ihsan, Hadith: 4568 and Musnad Ahmad, vol. 1 pg. 131)
Also see the following hadeeth:
The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There is no obedience to any human being if it involves sin; obedience is only in that which is right and proper.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 7257; Muslim, 1840.
Also, in Islam, there is no such concept as a person being "worthy" of praying, or worthy of wearing hijab, or having to prove themselves worthy. These are fard acts that everyone must do.
Another thing, is that there is no "holiness" to a hijab, as in that bit of cloth has no particular virtue attached to it. It is what you do with it (ie cover yourself), and obey Allah, that's important.
Just wanted to clarify that, as sometimes our elders, with all respect due to them, have things they've been handed down that aren't necessarily from Islam, but what people have heard, sometimes cultural, and sometimes there are misconceptions.
It is wonderful to read your post and see how eager you are to want to get closer to Allah and feel joy in your heart. One thing that helps, is when you do dhikr, know the meaning of what you're saying, and think about that. Eg when saying Alhamdulillah, which means roughly all praise and thanks are due to Allah, think of that meaning, the blessings that He has bestowed on us, and how Majestic He is deserving of all our praise as our Lord and Sustainer, and how dependent we are on Him..
Also it isn't necessary that one does dhikr and suddenly feels this overwhelming joy, although that would be nice. In the Qur'an, Allah uses the word, tatma'in, which has been variously translated as rest, peace, assurance or satisfaction.
"Those who have believed and whose hearts are assured by the remembrance of Allah . Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured." (Surah al-Ra'd, Surah number 13:ayat 28)
If you feel joy as well, that is an added bonus, but at this stage, keep trying to improve yourself, including dhikr, even in the absence of any feeling. Our imaan can ebb and flow, and we just have to keep working at it. You said you're learning how to pray correctly, which is good, and praying salaat should be the number one priority.
Where can I learn the basics of Islam?
Do you have a mosque near you that holds classes, or a madrassah, or is there a female Islamic teacher locally?