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mercin67
05-22-2017, 08:37 PM
assalamualaikum people.. i've been addicted to porn for nearly 12 years.. i'm 25 years old and not married yet.. Till the last two years, all the time i had tried to justify my porn addiction although i felt nothing but misery.. I've been trying to do something seriously for two years to overcome this sickness .. for the last two years i watched porn once in a month. At this two years of processi tried to quit before and went back again and again and keep following into that trap.. for this two years i could bare with living 2,5 months without porn and relapsed again.. now for a month i haven't watched porn for a month.. by the way i took some precautions to struggle porn such as fasting, downloading k9 (porn filter software) and watching great Islamic videos and managed to stay without porn for 2,5 months... but anyway i couldn't handle because of lots of reasons in this 2,5 months.. 1. I neglected to pray for isha and fajr ( May Allah protect all of us from hypocrisy)2. I neglected fasting for the last two weeks..3. I didn't care about the desires of my nefs with nutrition..4. Sometimes i wasn't careful with my Internet using..5. I was far away from reading Qur'an for the last two weeks.. Therefore i relapsed again.. The worst reason why I relapsed again was that I was too reactionary whenever the urges made me think about watching porn..Although I made very bad mistakes and sins by watching porn i did not despair of the mercy of ALLAH .. He is the MOST MERCIFUL and oft-forgiving no doubt.. Dear people please tell me should i tell my father about my porn addiction? My dad is like my buddy.. I feel all embarrassed about telling him the truth..But if he can help me about quitting my porn addiction, i feel it worths.. For Allah's sake but for no reason, i'm ready to explain it to my dad.. Do you think it's a good idea?
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Umm♥Layth
05-22-2017, 10:22 PM
Waleikum Asalaam,

I'm not sure what do advise you as far as disclosing this to your parents. What I can tell you is that your addiction, even if you totally break free from it, is going to have serious repercussions when you are married. Most millennials experience what you are experiencing on different levels whether they admit to it or not and relationships suffer greatly. What I'm saying is that you need to be focusing on actually HEALING from the damage caused and the first step to letting go of the addiction is becoming VERY clear about the extent of the damage incurred and what continuing this behavior will do.

This isn't just about desires and taming them, nope, it is much deeper.
Desires are just what got you to the place you are at, but you are no longer dealing with desires here. This is an actual addiction. Pornography does affect you the same as a strong narcotic and you need to detox asap and heal psychologically.

I advise you to please visit the following two links:

http://purifyyourgaze.com/ which is run by a muslim brother who tackles this very issue from an Islamic perspective.

http://learn.ftnd.org/ an excellent resource and a place where you can learn clear fact about how porn affects your mind, your heart and the world.

I hope this is helpful to you. Knowledge is power :) set yourself free!
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Bobbyflay23
05-23-2017, 12:34 AM
Originally Posted by mercin67
assalamualaikum people.. i've been addicted to porn for nearly 12 years.. i'm 25 years old and not married yet.. Till the last two years, all the time i had tried to justify my porn addiction although i felt nothing but misery.. I've been trying to do something seriously for two years to overcome this sickness .. for the last two years i watched porn once in a month. At this two years of processi tried to quit before and went back again and again and keep following into that trap.. for this two years i could bare with living 2,5 months without porn and relapsed again.. now for a month i haven't watched porn for a month.. by the way i took some precautions to struggle porn such as fasting, downloading k9 (porn filter software) and watching great Islamic videos and managed to stay without porn for 2,5 months... but anyway i couldn't handle because of lots of reasons in this 2,5 months.. 1. I neglected to pray for isha and fajr ( May Allah protect all of us from hypocrisy)2. I neglected fasting for the last two weeks..3. I didn't care about the desires of my nefs with nutrition..4. Sometimes i wasn't careful with my Internet using..5. I was far away from reading Qur'an for the last two weeks.. Therefore i relapsed again.. The worst reason why I relapsed again was that I was too reactionary whenever the urges made me think about watching porn..Although I made very bad mistakes and sins by watching porn i did not despair of the mercy of ALLAH .. He is the MOST MERCIFUL and oft-forgiving no doubt.. Dear people please tell me should i tell my father about my porn addiction? My dad is like my buddy.. I feel all embarrassed about telling him the truth..But if he can help me about quitting my porn addiction, i feel it worths.. For Allah's sake but for no reason, i'm ready to explain it to my dad.. Do you think it's a good idea?
Allah has hidden your sin why do u want to reveal it
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mercin67
05-23-2017, 03:29 AM
i thought that my dad could give me a help..
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mercin67
05-23-2017, 03:30 AM
Originally Posted by Bobbyflay23
Allah has hidden your sin why do u want to reveal it
i thought that my dad could give me a help.
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Bobbyflay23
05-23-2017, 05:32 AM
Originally Posted by mercin67
i thought that my dad could give me a help.
Is he a like a sincere Muslim like true to the religion cuz it could make a difference between help and just punishment which punishment I garentee won't do anything
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Bobbyflay23
05-23-2017, 05:33 AM
Originally Posted by mercin67
i thought that my dad could give me a help.
If you can trust him I suggest turning on parental settings on your devices so you can't access the internet and if you need to it has to be in the living room or somthing and leave the password with him until you can handle yourself and if you can't trust him put it in the Quran so then if u want to get it you have to do wadu and everything
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greenhill
05-23-2017, 12:08 PM
This is your battle.

You have to battle it. Seek Allah's help and seek His forgiveness.. and don't give up.

Remember that this IS your test. It won't be easy. It is an addiction. Like cigarettes, drugs, alcohol etc. none of these battles are easy for anyone facing them. You will need to find something to fill that void. That is the challenge. You will look at ways to combat this 'holistically' if you want to be serious, if not, like dealing with most addictions, they fail and revert.

:peace:
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AbdurRahman.
05-23-2017, 06:17 PM
lolol tell and get spanked like 500 times??? :Emoji46::Emoji46::Emoji46::Emoji46::Emoji46:
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Umm Abed
05-23-2017, 06:30 PM
Originally Posted by mercin67
i thought that my dad could give me a help.
No dont tell, he will be very disappointed.

The point is that you must learn to control yourself. You will come across many incidents in life where you need to take control - and be in control. Not everything can be handed over to others.

You must fight this addiction, and you are getting it right there, be persistent in your struggle you will make it sooner rather than later. Do continuous istighfar.
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azc
05-24-2017, 12:56 PM
Originally Posted by mercin67
assalamualaikum people.. i've been addicted to porn for nearly 12 years.. i'm 25 years old and not married yet.. Till the last two years, all the time i had tried to justify my porn addiction although i felt nothing but misery.. I've been trying to do something seriously for two years to overcome this sickness .. for the last two years i watched porn once in a month. At this two years of processi tried to quit before and went back again and again and keep following into that trap.. for this two years i could bare with living 2,5 months without porn and relapsed again.. now for a month i haven't watched porn for a month.. by the way i took some precautions to struggle porn such as fasting, downloading k9 (porn filter software) and watching great Islamic videos and managed to stay without porn for 2,5 months... but anyway i couldn't handle because of lots of reasons in this 2,5 months.. 1. I neglected to pray for isha and fajr ( May Allah protect all of us from hypocrisy)2. I neglected fasting for the last two weeks..3. I didn't care about the desires of my nefs with nutrition..4. Sometimes i wasn't careful with my Internet using..5. I was far away from reading Qur'an for the last two weeks.. Therefore i relapsed again.. The worst reason why I relapsed again was that I was too reactionary whenever the urges made me think about watching porn..Although I made very bad mistakes and sins by watching porn i did not despair of the mercy of ALLAH .. He is the MOST MERCIFUL and oft-forgiving no doubt.. Dear people please tell me should i tell my father about my porn addiction? My dad is like my buddy.. I feel all embarrassed about telling him the truth..But if he can help me about quitting my porn addiction, i feel it worths.. For Allah's sake but for no reason, i'm ready to explain it to my dad.. Do you think it's a good idea?
Will he be pleased to hear of your addiction?

Certainly not. So don't tell him.
Reply

Al Sultan
05-29-2017, 11:15 AM
Assalamo alikum brother.

Just like what Umm Abed said, this IS your test, Allah is testing you now, to see how strong you can really be, how powerful you are against the shaytan.

I advise you to keep yourself busy with stuff, learn how to draw, read the Quran, go for a walk to relax, watch Islamic videos, just basically make yourself BUSY, never sit down and do nothing, there are so many things you can do, learn and read about Islam as well, and don't even let a SINGLE thought of pornography enter your mind, if it does, quickly think of something else, realize that Allah is watching you, and you got two angels by your shoulders, one in your left, one in your right, they are also recording your good deeds and your bad deeds.

And brother, we just entered Ramadan.. so please stay away from these filthy things, and may Allah have mercy on you brother.

Inshallah this helps.

Wa assalamo alikum, wa rahmtuillahi wa barakato.
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Umm Malik
05-29-2017, 03:33 PM
we are in Ramadan ... ask Allah every day and whenever you remember ... tell Allah that you want to be far from this ask him to guide you and to protect you
and try to do your best to be a good Muslim to get save from fire in this month
and If you get this ... Allah will make the sin hard for you and he will close the doors of sin in your face ... he will protect you and make obedience easy for you
get this month and you will get everything inshallah
try to do a lot of good deeds and Allah will increase your Iman and your rank
don't despair from the mercy of Allah
and don't tell any one especially your father Allah is the best one who will help you
just be patient
let this a secret between you and your lord
Allah knows best
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Zeal
05-29-2017, 03:45 PM
Zina or sins that lead to zina are preceeded by smaller forms of zina.

What you have to do is cut it off at the starting point.

And that's usually the thought
So don't distract yourself with haram thoughts/thoughts about women and keep em halal

The eyes so lower you gaze

The ears so don't listen to filthy speech

The touch so don't let any woman touch you or don't touch your own parts unnecessarily
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