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Brother_40805
06-09-2017, 09:50 AM
Hi. I am here humbled and humiliated. I didn't know who to talk with. I am facing extreme depression and anxiety. At work the situation is worsening and its not even been a year at my first job.

It is my only source of income. I am afraid for my life, my relationship with my Mum and siblings. I have been trying my best at the job to learn and build my self after having come of depression from uni. This just a job to pay for bills and the software engineering course I am studying.

The thing is I got this job after such a long time (years afters finishing degree) and I don't even like the job but have to do it. I am not complaining or blaming anyone. I am just in extreme fear, shutdown and afraid for my life, my future and my self worth.

I am trying to be patient but am unable to cope with it anymore. I am very straightforward individual. I trust in Allah and I his wisdom and decree but my soul is destroyed and I am in such fear even though I am fasting, reciting quran, doing zikr, and praying on time.
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*charisma*
06-09-2017, 10:11 AM
Assalamu alaikum

No point in being afraid if you still have your job. While working, you should do some extra things to build up your cv. The more people you know the more opportunities you will have access to. You can search for a better job while working if you do not like your current job.
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Brother_40805
06-09-2017, 10:17 AM
Originally Posted by *charisma*
Assalamu alaikum

No point in being afraid if you still have your job. While working, you should do some extra things to build up your cv. The more people you know the more opportunities you will have access to. You can search for a better job while working if you do not like your current job.
You don't understand. Its so hard and I am not smart. I get into depression if I seeking too much help from people and I starting feeling low. My head starts hurting and I get extreme migraines and sleepless nights. I have no friends. No contacts. I get claustrophobic for that I am taking medication.

I suffered for years before getting this job. It has impacted my soul and my mind. I feeling worthless and inhibited in life in general. I do not understand information even after reading through it a million times. Medication is not helping me either in that regard.

Its not just about writing CV and applying for more jobs. Its about since birth I have this feeling in my heart that I am worthless and every action I have taken in my life has not turned out right, whether its education, islam or relationships or work.

Since I began this job. I am didn't know anything. It has been 11 months now and I have deteriorated even though I got told I was doing ok at the start. I am afraid I will be destroyed mentally and in my soul.
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-arisa-
06-09-2017, 11:31 AM
Originally Posted by MSBi
You don't understand. Its so hard and I am not smart. I get into depression if I seeking too much help from people and I starting feeling low. My head starts hurting and I get extreme migraines and sleepless nights. I have no friends. No contacts. I get claustrophobic for that I am taking medication.

I suffered for years before getting this job. It has impacted my soul and my mind. I feeling worthless and inhibited in life in general. I do not understand information even after reading through it a million times. Medication is not helping me either in that regard.

Its not just about writing CV and applying for more jobs. Its about since birth I have this feeling in my heart that I am worthless and every action I have taken in my life has not turned out right, whether its education, islam or relationships or work.

Since I began this job. I am didn't know anything. It has been 11 months now and I have deteriorated even though I got told I was doing ok at the start. I am afraid I will be destroyed mentally and in my soul.
Have you ever thought of seeking help from professionals? Maybe you really need it :?
Or perhaps you can just talk to us. However, just listening and giving you advice won't help much unless you really try hard to help yourself, like try to change your perspective.

Hmm, can you analyze the cause of your depression? Why would you be depressed when you seek too much help from people? I think you really need professional help :hmm:

Hope things get better for you. Take care!
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*charisma*
06-09-2017, 01:30 PM
Originally Posted by MSBi
You don't understand. Its so hard and I am not smart. I get into depression if I seeking too much help from people and I starting feeling low. My head starts hurting and I get extreme migraines and sleepless nights. I have no friends. No contacts. I get claustrophobic for that I am taking medication.

I suffered for years before getting this job. It has impacted my soul and my mind. I feeling worthless and inhibited in life in general. I do not understand information even after reading through it a million times. Medication is not helping me either in that regard.

Its not just about writing CV and applying for more jobs. Its about since birth I have this feeling in my heart that I am worthless and every action I have taken in my life has not turned out right, whether its education, islam or relationships or work.

Since I began this job. I am didn't know anything. It has been 11 months now and I have deteriorated even though I got told I was doing ok at the start. I am afraid I will be destroyed mentally and in my soul.

Bro so what if you're not smart?? You think all the people with jobs are geniuses?? Do you honestly think that everyone who goes out for a job comes back with one, or that no one but you has failed?? You are not abnormal. You are perfectly fine. When I used to study, I used to go through the exact same thing as you. I would read a page a hundred times before I actually comprehended what I just read and I'd have a hundred more because I'd have an exam the next day. lol

It seems the majority of your problems are just caused by overthinking. There's no reason for you to feel so low. The only person that can make you feel this bad is YOU.
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azc
06-09-2017, 02:40 PM
Originally Posted by MSBi
Hi. I am here humbled and humiliated. I didn't know who to talk with. I am facing extreme depression and anxiety. At work the situation is worsening and its not even been a year at my first job.

It is my only source of income. I am afraid for my life, my relationship with my Mum and siblings. I have been trying my best at the job to learn and build my self after having come of depression from uni. This just a job to pay for bills and the software engineering course I am studying.

The thing is I got this job after such a long time (years afters finishing degree) and I don't even like the job but have to do it. I am not complaining or blaming anyone. I am just in extreme fear, shutdown and afraid for my life, my future and my self worth.

I am trying to be patient but am unable to cope with it anymore. I am very straightforward individual. I trust in Allah and I his wisdom and decree but my soul is destroyed and I am in such fear even though I am fasting, reciting quran, doing zikr, and praying on time.
Why are you depressed?

If you don't like this job you can try another job.
Learn to be happy with what you've in your hand.

Always pay thanks to Allah swt for what he has given.
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Alpha Dude
06-09-2017, 06:24 PM
I think you need to 'let go' and stop worrying about what could happen. Realise that even if you did lose your job, it is not the end of the world.

Whatever Allah has destined for you will reach you and remain with you despite the entire world trying to take it away from you and if Allah has not decreed something for you, the entire world uniting cannot give it to you. Internalise this.

With this understanding, you should fuel your reliance on Allah: accept that you only need to do the best you can possibly do physically, mentally and then leave the rest to Allah.

Never despair. Allah has power over everything. If you lose your job, you try your best to find another (or start a business) and trust in Allah to help you out.
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Umm♥Layth
06-09-2017, 06:50 PM
Your situation isn't about smarts or knowing people. My husband is masha Allah very well educated, intelligent has loads of great experience, and is well traveled. He knows lots of people and yet, in the last few years he's not been able to hold on to a job more than a couple of months at a time and has 3 kids plus a wife to care for. Talk about pressure :phew. Subhan Allah!

So, from my perspective, perhaps Allah has other plans for you. Perhaps you need to start exploring things you never thought of exploring. Maybe it is time to stop depending on big companies for your income. Maybe there are dreams you've suppressed due to your doubts in yourself and Allah... sometimes things take a turn in a way you never expected and it is a huge blessing in disguise. Allah gave every single individual amazing capabilities, but each individual has to discover them on his/her own. Trust in Him and know that you can do whatever you set your mind to do!

You don't have to accept defeat. You can be destroyed and then rebuild yourself, it is a matter of perspective. Do you want to live in fear and anxiety or do you want to live in peace and happiness? That's a choice you make bro. :)
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M.I.A.
06-09-2017, 07:33 PM
Originally Posted by MSBi
Hi. I am here humbled and humiliated. I didn't know who to talk with. I am facing extreme depression and anxiety. At work the situation is worsening and its not even been a year at my first job.

It is my only source of income. I am afraid for my life, my relationship with my Mum and siblings. I have been trying my best at the job to learn and build my self after having come of depression from uni. This just a job to pay for bills and the software engineering course I am studying.

The thing is I got this job after such a long time (years afters finishing degree) and I don't even like the job but have to do it. I am not complaining or blaming anyone. I am just in extreme fear, shutdown and afraid for my life, my future and my self worth.

I am trying to be patient but am unable to cope with it anymore. I am very straightforward individual. I trust in Allah and I his wisdom and decree but my soul is destroyed and I am in such fear even though I am fasting, reciting quran, doing zikr, and praying on time.

...you say your doing all the right things.

Maybe you should try doing them in company.

Easiest way to lose yourself.

...Probably.
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anatolian
06-09-2017, 08:01 PM
If your profession is software I dont think you will be left jobless anywhere, let alone UK. And sometimes you stick to a job without considering all other options around and lose those better chances. Those times you need to lose that job to find a better one. Think free..
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YahyaAE
06-09-2017, 11:02 PM
Allah's got you man. Trust in Him and you will get through it, even if it gets really rough. I am not talking motivational religious cliches, I am talking from experience here. The first part of beating this situation, is winning the battle in your mind. Fear is the biggest enemy. Get over that and everything else will fall into place the way you want it to inshalla. Maybe slowly or quickly, but it will eventually work out.
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Brother_40805
06-14-2017, 08:17 AM
Thank you for your replies. It means a lot. I will take all your suggestions into account. Please pray for me.
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Hamza Asadullah
06-14-2017, 01:40 PM
Originally Posted by MSBi
Thank you for your replies. It means a lot. I will take all your suggestions into account. Please pray for me.
:sl:

Satan threatens you with poverty and orders you to immorality, while Allah promises you forgiveness from Him and bounty. And Allah is all-Encompassing and Knowing. (Quran 2:268)

We must always bare in mind that it is of the biggest deception of shaythan to put the fear of poverty in front of our eyes. But it is Allah whom will sustain and provide for us so we must have faith and reliance in him always and also make the necessary effort looking for permissable work for whatever is written for us will reach us.

But know that the appreciative of Allah's sustainance and bounties and those whose focus is the Hereafter will always have the maximum sustainance in this world as oppose to those whom merely chase this dunya (worldly life) and the worse off of all are those who earn haraam money and those who take and give usury.

May Allah provide for us and give us of his abundant bounties and make us of the appreciative and of those who chase the Hereafter not this worldly life. Ameen
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greenhill
06-14-2017, 02:26 PM
I think this is the real issue.


Originally Posted by MSBi
. . . . . Its about since birth I have this feeling in my heart that I am worthless and every action I have taken in my life has not turned out right, whether its education, islam or relationships or work.
If it is failure you think of before you even start, failure it will be. It will be a self fulfilling prophecy and when it happens becomes ingrained in your own psyche that you are failure. As such, you lose self worth and get depression and then depend on medication. Every step of the process is a negative one and your are also facing the negative direction, how are you ever going to get out?

If it is to be, it is up to me! Not anybody (else). They can only support you. But you should want it for yourself with or without their support!

First thing. You got your qualification, second thing, you are doing further studies, third thing, you are paying bills. You are already worth something. Losing a job is not the end of the world, it only appears so because of the importance you place upon it (especially if has to do with a sense of achievement and security). But you were without a job before, so it is nothing new.

On something else, I also believe that you should find a way to get off the meds. It will definitely do you more harm than good in the long run. Better if you find a way to 'build' yourself up, spiritually and mentally. Concentrate on what you can do, learn how to improve yourself (list a few things you would like to develop) and don't stress about things you can't do.

In all honesty, nobody could help you carry the burden you choose for yourself. All we can tell you is to throw away those unnecessary ones, especially like already concluding to yourself that you will be "destroyed mentally and in your soul".

Help yourself, don't destroy yourself.


:peace:
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Alpha Dude
06-14-2017, 05:55 PM
Your physical health has a massive impact on your emotional and mental well-being.

If you don't already, make an effort to eat properly and healthily and do exercise - go out for a run, cycle, swim, play football, go to the gym.

When you feel confident physically, your mental state of mind will follow suit and in sha Allah you will be able to focus better as a result.
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Snow
06-14-2017, 06:56 PM
It is just a job.
My friends used to be neurotic and I got some good ones not worrying about things.
Don't worry about it.
Apply for a bunch and something will work out.
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talibilm
06-16-2017, 09:33 AM
Originally Posted by MSBi
Hi. I am here humbled and humiliated. I didn't know who to talk with. I am facing extreme depression and anxiety. At work the situation is worsening and its not even been a year at my first job.

It is my only source of income. I am afraid for my life, my relationship with my Mum and siblings. I have been trying my best at the job to learn and build my self after having come of depression from uni. This just a job to pay for bills and the software engineering course I am studying.

The thing is I got this job after such a long time (years afters finishing degree) and I don't even like the job but have to do it. I am not complaining or blaming anyone. I am just in extreme fear, shutdown and afraid for my life, my future and my self worth.

I am trying to be patient but am unable to cope with it anymore. I am very straightforward individual. I trust in Allah and I his wisdom and decree but my soul is destroyed and I am in such fear even though I am fasting, reciting quran, doing zikr, and praying on time.
Bro :sl:

Allah is enough FoR his slaves and watch this short video from a famous revert bro Yusha Evans www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_U1ifMpgI0
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