format_quote Originally Posted by
.alhamdulillah.
Just feel lost. A lot of times just feeling like why am I even doing this, do I even believe in Islam, why am I here reading Quran, trying to learn more about Islam, praying, etc...
Like I am constantly trying to remind myself why I believe in Islam, why it has to be the truth, who I am praying to.
I just want my mind to be set straight that I know Allah exists with certainty and live my life motivated and driven to obide by Allah's rule to please him, make the most of my life, do good, and earn Jannah....
I used to be like that.
Now I am constantly living with why am I doing this or that with every little thing, low iman, etc....
In the end I just want to live my life the way Allah has intended for his creation to live in the best manner possible, but it's hard to do when you are constantly thinking why I am doing this, is it really for Allah, does he really exist.
Asalaamu Alaikum,
My brother you being concerned over your imaan is a sign of imaan. When we are shackled by our sins and love of the dunya (the world) has entered our hearts and we have forgotten our inevitable death and our eternal destination - The Hereafter - then Imaan (faith) will inevitabley leave the heart like water leaves a bottle when you tip it over.
Just like we service our cars, valet them, clean them, refill them often. A similar analogy can be applied to our hearts. It must be regularly serviced, checked, cleaned and re-filled with the love and remembrance of Allah so our imaan can remain topped up.
Therefore we must never forget death and our next destination - the grave. Most of us think "Not me, I wont die until old age". How many young people thought that and they are in the grave right now? Go to the grave yard often my brother. Take a look at the ages of the residents of the graves and you will see that they range from 0 - 100+. So by remembering death our attachment for this world and materialistic things weakens. The more we love this world the more we will forget Allah, death, our graves and the Hereafter.
Therefore my brother the solution is that our focus is completely wrong! We are focussing on things that either do not matter or are irrelevant in the bigger picture of things. This blessed month is the best opportunity for us to reflect, ponder, re-evaluate and re-focus our lives towards that of the bigger picture and what really matters.
So my brother firstly abandon any major sins that you a are doing as this tortures our hearts and souls and keeps us away from Allah. Repent sincerely and make a a firm commitment never to repeat such an act again. We cannot get closer to Allah and have khushu in our prayers and deeds if we are committing major sins.
Secondly connect with the masjid. Make effort to pray all your orayers at the masjid or at least as many as you can manage. This is because if we are away from the Masjid then we are like a lone sheep who is vulnerable to attack by the Wolf (shaythan and our nafs) .
Thirdly connect with the quran. A recite of it as much as you can comfortabley manage. Learn the meanings of what you are reciting and implement it in your daily life. Ponder, reflect and contemplate over its meanings. By connecting with the Quran we are connected to Allah. We also remain in his remembrance and know that theQuran will intercede for us on the day where we need as much intercession as we can get. Memorise the quran and make it a firm intention to memorise it all in your life time for those if us with such an intention then even if we die it is hoped we will die as haafidh inshaAllah.
Fourthly adopt the Tahajjud prayer in the latter part of the nights. What better way to connect to Allah than when most other people are asleep? The Tahajjud prayer is one of the best ways of gaining an intimate connection to Allah and increasing our imaan and Khushu in our prayers. It is also one of the best ways to get our Dua's accepted and get closer to Allah.
So my brother beg and ask of Allah. I don't mean the way you have been doing up until now. I mean REALLY ask of of him. Beg of him and cry unto him, ask of him with all of your heart like you have never done before and he will never abandon your call. He loves you far more than your parents and anyone else ever will. No one can love you more than him. If only we walked towards him then he would run towards us. So this is our best opportunity and it may well be our last.
I hope the following articles will be of benefit:
3 Ways of attaining focus in our Salah
3 ways of attaining focus in our Salaah (prayer) - You will be amazed!
10 Steps to Increase our Iman(Faith)
10 Steps to Increase our Iman (Faith) - Updated version
Utterly regretful in the Hereafter:
Utterly regretful in the Hereafter
The Angel of Death is coming for us!
The Angel of Death is coming for us!
A Solution For Weak Iman | Inspiring Speech