format_quote Originally Posted by
*charisma*
Lastly, don't focus on all the failed marriages. There are a lot of people who have been happily married for years. Make du'a that Allah pairs you with someone who is understanding, loving, genuine, beloved to Him, and who will be the best husband for you, and have more faith and trust that Allah will provide that for you. Get these negative notions out of your head and don't paint every man with the same brush. Just be smarter and follow the sunnah in choosing a suitable husband inshallah.
As-salamu Alaikum,
Sister you know what i
MISSED in her comment..everything was mostly based on culture and this human emotional dunya stuff. Go and re-analyze her first comment where did she refer something towards Islam? The most closest that came to that was this "
everything u hope for in person".
I love to analyze things and even ponder about the wisdom behind whole advice of Rasullah(saws) for men as well as for women. In both cases "religion" is put in a very high position, yet this sister doesn't talk about it. This to me rather shows that she MIGHT practice Islam as culture-Islam, not really Islam as "me-being-convinced-Islam".
If we ponder about how come we must find a spouse that puts his/her religion on #1, is that i have found alhamdulillah a very good point.
Our loves towards our spouse goes through Allah. Our anger towards our spouse goes through Allah, our happiness towards our spouse goes through Allah, our sadness towards our spouse goes through Allah. With EVERY action..really E
VERY SINGLE ACTION we first think what Allah would judge this action by? Does he love this action? If yes, we do that, if not, we abstain. This is when we will feel the barakah in our marriage. If our spouse dies, our thinking goes through Allah and we say indeed we belong to Him and to Him we will return. There is no deep sadness that overtakes us (some for example will commit suicide) or deep love that overtakes us (some would resort towards sihr so the individual falls for them or stays with them). All this sister is pointing out is one being handsome/pretty, rich, smart, nice..etc...while the MOST IMPORTANT thing is lacking.
This rather also raises another question of, how pious is she? Because the mouth speaks what lies in the heart. If religion has a lower priority most probably the last thing said is about religion and the advice that have been given.
I have found seriously NO other solution to a blessed marriage but through Islam and how Islam views it. From money based, from sabr based, from love based, from raising children..every single things is SUPER solid based on logic, rationality and reason that just blows your mind away.
So for this sister, sister..FIX YOUR SELF!!. Because this doubt is ONLY doubt when marrying somebody who has Islam NOT on #1. I have almost 0% hope in majority of women these days, however Rasullah(saws) as well as Musa(as) as Ibrahim(as) as far as i know it was Allah(saws) who provided them with good spouses. Based on what? They "fixed" themselves and Allah(swt) provided them. Their good character was something amazing.
The person that "pretends" to have good character with you, will NOT be able to answer question that need deep thinking. To gain a good character one is BOUND to be able to think deeply about their own character as well as questions and matters in life. When you ask somebody something the person who thinks deeply, will say honestly he does not know OR will answer it but will give you a very profound answer, while the "pretender" will act all arrogant and feels like he HAS to have a answer although he does not know the good answer, rather gives you a very shallow answer to your question. This is indication that you most probably dump the guy as well as towards the woman dump the woman.