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helpme
07-14-2017, 12:36 AM
I'm 17 years old british muslim, and I have a 16 year old white girlfriend that I am madly in love with. I don't want all the standard 'your only 17 chill out'. Please just give me advice.
My parents are of Indian origin and are strict muslims and the girl wants to meet my parents and I would like to introduce her to my parents but I don't know how to tell them. Has anyone ever been in this situation? Because I do think she would be open to converting to Islam but its just that she is white. Any advice? Breaking up is OUT of the question as I have no intention to. I have met her parents and I am completely accepted by them. This is a girl I can honestly see my self marrying in the future if all goes well.
Thank you and I await your advice.
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Khanali12
07-14-2017, 02:11 AM
Haram
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Abz2000
07-14-2017, 03:02 AM
If you claim a person doesn't want to accept Islam and that you still want to marry them knowing that it is unlawful (haram), why are you trolling an Islamic forum?

Does adding the description "white" and "sixteen" somehow change the variables or are you after some "grooming" headlines for your bosses.
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*charisma*
07-14-2017, 03:56 AM
Assalamu Alaikum

Originally Posted by helpme
I'm 17 years old british muslim, and I have a 16 year old white girlfriend that I am madly in love with. I don't want all the standard 'your only 17 chill out'. Please just give me advice.
My parents are of Indian origin and are strict muslims and the girl wants to meet my parents and I would like to introduce her to my parents but I don't know how to tell them. Has anyone ever been in this situation? Because I do think she would be open to converting to Islam but its just that she is white. Any advice? Breaking up is OUT of the question as I have no intention to. I have met her parents and I am completely accepted by them. This is a girl I can honestly see my self marrying in the future if all goes well.
Thank you and I await your advice.
I'll tell you what I'd tell my own younger brother, so I hope you can hear me out and understand inshallah. Before you can please anyone, including your parents, you must first please Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Having a girlfriend is haram, so the foundation you are setting yourself on towards marriage is already faulty. There are soo many guys and girls before you who participate in premarital relationships because they believe they will get married, and it does not happen. You are not an exception. You are also really young, meaning your hormones are raging at the moment and what you wholeheartedly believe is love is not love. I tell you this because of a few factors. You are sneaking around being dishonest with your parents about your situation. This is not the mentality of a man who wants to get married or is in love. This is the mentality of a boy. Secondly, the only reason it seems that you even want to tell your parents about the girl is because she is requesting it. Which shows that you are easily swayed by this girl's requests and have no intention of pleasing your parents who must come after Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Thirdly you want your parents to accept your relationship until the girl becomes a Muslim, without considering that what if she never becomes a Muslim? Then it will be her and your desires vs your parents. Or what if she does and is a better muslim than you so she leaves you because she realizes you're a hypocrite?

So ok you're already in love with the girl, and you want to stay with her. There is no halal option here except for marriage.
Ok but you want your parents to accept the both of you being together in hopes that this girl will eventually convert and you will get married, so now you're asking your parents to allow the haram to go on until the circumstances occur in which facilitates proper marriage. But none of us know if the girl will convert or if your parents will accept her either way. So what now??

Let's say your parents do accept her. Are you ready for marriage at this age? Does the girl even want to marry you now?
Let's say you want the girl to convert, have you even spoken to her about it??
And what if your parents reject her regardless, what is your next step then?? Will you continue on with the relationship??

Islamically there is no win-win here except if you seek the pleasure of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. You're not being honest with the girl or your parents so I can't see this going your way in any aspect like this.
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sister herb
07-14-2017, 06:14 AM
Originally Posted by Khanali12
Haram
Salam alaykum

When you make here kind of statements, you also should explain what is haram (having a girlfriend, that she is white?) and explain why.
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azc
07-15-2017, 05:43 PM
Originally Posted by helpme
I'm 17 years old british muslim, and I have a 16 year old white girlfriend that I am madly in love with. I don't want all the standard 'your only 17 chill out'. Please just give me advice.My parents are of Indian origin and are strict muslims and the girl wants to meet my parents and I would like to introduce her to my parents but I don't know how to tell them. Has anyone ever been in this situation? Because I do think she would be open to converting to Islam but its just that she is white. Any advice? Breaking up is OUT of the question as I have no intention to. I have met her parents and I am completely accepted by them. This is a girl I can honestly see my self marrying in the future if all goes well.Thank you and I await your advice.
Dating isn't permitted in Islam. I don't think you are ready for marriage. Are you ?
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