PDA

View Full Version : How do I stop falling in love before marriage?



Mustafa16
07-19-2017, 11:36 AM
for more reference please see this topic:
https://www.islamicboard.com/-ilm-kn...ml#post2970528
i dont know how im gonna survive the next 4 years like this.....i need to stay away but i love her dearly....what should i do?
Reply

Login/Register to hide ads. Scroll down for more posts
sister herb
07-19-2017, 12:05 PM
Brother, you don´t actually know this person at all but you have felt in love to the fancy image you have created by yourself about hers social media profile. You don´t even know if this person really exists. In internet this may happen many times. People create in their minds image about someone and want to believe he/she is like they believe him/her to be. In reality that person might be something very opposite.

What to do? Well, you have got many times before advices what to do when you have too strong feelings for someone... No need to repeat them.
Reply

Umm Abed
07-19-2017, 03:06 PM
Why dont you close up all your social media and only use this forum?

It will be better for you that way, then when the time comes to marry then you go ahead.
Reply

Mustafa16
07-19-2017, 05:55 PM
Originally Posted by Umm Abed
Why dont you close up all your social media and only use this forum?

It will be better for you that way, then when the time comes to marry then you go ahead.
the main opposition I have from my nafs is that I won't be able to read her tweets and what she shares and determine her personality and whether or not we're compatible. I agree with what you said, but I just can't bring myself to do it because my nafs is too strong.
Reply

Welcome, Guest!
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up
ardianto
07-19-2017, 06:07 PM
Assalamualaikum, Mustafa. How are you today?.

I will tell you a secret that I have never revealed it in the forum before. The secret is .... I have ever rejected by a girl when I was teenager. :)

That's began when I meet a girl, and I saw her as an attractive girl. Immediately I felt a feeling in my heart. I let this feeling being stronger and stonger, and I told myself that I must have her. I started to approach her, and started to chase her when she tried to avoid me. Until finally I met her in an evening, but she told me to go away and stop approaching her. That's like a heavy punch for the sensitive guy like me. Not only felt disappointed, I also felt very ashamed.

But that's also gave me a great lesson, getting spouse is difference than buying t-shirt. If I want to buy t-shirt I could go to a shop, choose the t-shirt that I like, buy, and the t-shirt being mine. But if I want to get spouse?. I might be interested to someone. But how if she was not interested to me?. How if she rejected me?. So I promised myself, I will never again let myself fall in love to someone who is not mine.

I began to train myself to control my lust when I see or interact with a woman, because I didn't want that hurtful experience happen to me again. In another side I tried to develop myself to become a good man, because I believe if I could be a good man, then in the future there must a woman who will be willing to marry me. I also develop an ability to raise a love for someone who is willing to be my life-partner.

And do you know, Mustafa?. It gave me great advantage. I became a guy who look positive in the girls eyes. It gave me easiness to have life-partner.

I was not lying when my friend asked me how did I get my wife. I told him, I didn't get my wife, but my wife got me. It's true. My late wife was a beautiful woman. Many men approached her and trued to get her. But instead of accept one of them, she rejected all of them and decided to come to me, who didn't ever tried to get her. My beloved late wife ever admit that what made her interested to me was my ability to control my lust toward women. It made me looked very good in her eyes.

This is the advantage you would get if you could control your lust toward women, and could control yourself to not fall in love to someone who is not yours. Can you?. If I can, so you can too. What you need is strong willingness.

Mustafa, from your previous posts I know that you have few experience which you were attracted to a girl, but she tried to avoid you.This is a rejection, actually. So, why don't you learn from your experiences?. Now you let yourself fall in love to someone who is not yours. What for?. To then be rejected?. To then feel hurt when you find her accept another man?. Try to thinking longer, Mustafa.

Try to imagine the positive impact you will get if your able to control your lust, if you are able to control your heart. Now focus to your study while develop yourself to become the good man. In the future when you have ready to get married, In Shaa Allah, you will get an an easiness like easiness that I ever experienced.

:)
Reply

Mustafa16
07-19-2017, 06:10 PM
Originally Posted by ardianto
Assalamualaikum, Mustafa. How are you today?.

I will tell you a secret that I have never revealed it in the forum before. The secret is .... I have ever rejected by a girl when I was teenager. :)

That's began when I meet a girl, and I saw her as an attractive girl. Immediately I felt a feeling in my heart. I let this feeling being stronger and stonger, and I told myself that I must have her. I started to approach her, and started to chase her when she tried to avoid me. Until finally I met her in an evening, but she told me to go away and stop approaching her. That's like a heavy punch for the sensitive guy like me. Not only felt disappointed, I also felt very ashamed.

But that's also gave me a great lesson, getting spouse is difference than buying t-shirt. If I want to buy t-shirt I could go to a shop, choose the t-shirt that I like, buy, and the t-shirt being mine. But if I want to get spouse?. I might be interested to someone. But how if she was not interested to me?. How if she rejected me?. So I promised myself, I will never again let myself fall in love to someone who is not mine.

I began to train myself to control my lust when I see or interact with a woman, because I didn't want that hurtful experience happen to me again. In another side I tried to develop myself to become a good man, because I believe if I could be a good man, then in the future there must a woman who will be willing to marry me. I also develop an ability to raise a love for someone who is willing to be my life-partner.

And do you know, Mustafa?. It gave me great advantage. I became a guy who look positive in the girls eyes. It gave me easiness to have life-partner.

I was not lying when my friend asked me how did I get my wife. I told him, I didn't get my wife, but my wife got me. It's true. My late wife was a beautiful woman. Many men approached her and trued to get her. But instead of accept one of them, she rejected all of them and decided to come to me, who didn't ever tried to get her. My beloved late wife ever admit that what made her interested to me was my ability to control my lust toward women. It made me looked very good in her eyes.

This is the advantage you would get if you could control your lust toward women, and could control yourself to not fall in love to someone who is not yours. Can you?. If I can, so you can too. What you need is strong willingness.

Mustafa, from your previous posts I know that you have few experience which you were attracted to a girl, but she tried to avoid you.This is a rejection, actually. So, why don't you learn from your experiences?. Now you let yourself fall in love to someone who is not yours. What for?. To then be rejected?. To then feel hurt when you find her accept another man?. Try to thinking longer, Mustafa.

Try to imagine the positive impact you will get if your able to control your lust, if you are able to control your heart. Now focus to your study while develop yourself to become the good man. In the future when you have ready to get married, In Shaa Allah, you will get an an easiness like easiness that I ever experienced.

:)
thank you for your gentle advice, brother :)
Reply

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 10
    Last Post: 12-23-2013, 04:16 PM
  2. Replies: 34
    Last Post: 11-21-2009, 03:19 AM
  3. Replies: 37
    Last Post: 09-28-2009, 01:56 AM
  4. Replies: 22
    Last Post: 10-01-2008, 03:52 PM
  5. Replies: 22
    Last Post: 01-22-2008, 03:51 PM

IslamicBoard

Experience a richer experience on our mobile app!