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Captain Drake
08-03-2017, 09:11 PM
Asalam u alikum,
I wanted to ask everyone here a simple question. Put yourself in my shoes, a 17 year old gentleman in school with best grades however no chances of getting a beautiful (both clean in the inside and beautiful from the outside) girlfriend. By girlfriend i do not mean adultery in any ways or so, but simply having a girlfriend.
To speak my mind and I don't want this to sound selfish or jealous in any way because I am not, but it's how I feel. I feel like just because I am a Muslim, I don't have the same chances. Matter of a fact, 3 weeks ago I graduated from 10th grade and out of the 250 students in the entire 10th grade, I was the best with the best average. A 17 year old, who's parents are Kurdish from Iraq, a black haired person. For one minute, when they mentioned my name on graduation day in front of around 300 people, I couldn't believe it. The mayor of the city handed me a gift, and congratulated me.
My point is, I have all of this happiness in my life and alhamdurilla my parents are very happy with me, I don't pray however I'm very religious in lots of ways but I'm going to start praying. All I have been asking for is to have a Christian beautiful girlfriend, like every single Christian male here, yet I don't get the chance ?!

I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong, it's not even that im bad looking at all... Please give me advice !

Thank you
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STN
08-03-2017, 10:44 PM
Originally Posted by Captain Drake
Asalam u alikum,
. All I have been asking for is to have a Christian beautiful girlfriend, like every single Christian male here, yet I don't get the chance ?!
I am not sure now if you are a Christian or Muslim?

If you are Christian, i don't have any advice to give because i can't relate to a christian family. Except it would be to accept Islam.

If you are Muslim then its simple. Go and tell your parents. Tell them you want to get married.

What's the issue?
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AbdurRahman.
08-03-2017, 10:46 PM
bro, be happy you dont have a girlfriend as it is a sin!!!

the same with me really! :Emoji30:, in my teens I couldn't get a girlfriend either and thought there must be something wrong with me, why cant I feel comfortable near girls?, why do i get tongue tied??? :facepalm:, but now i realise this was a great blessing from ALlah and He kept me safe from sin!!!! :)
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Eric H
08-04-2017, 06:30 AM
Greetings and peace be with you Captain Drake;

Congratulations on being the number one man in your grade, well done.

Maybe the prayers you should now be making is one of thanks. It seems Allah has given you so many gifts already, and you are asking for more. The person who came 250th in your grade might not be good looking either, they might need more help from Allah than you do.

Pray for the gift of patience, seventeen years might seem an eternity to you, but things happen in Allah's time and way.

I think Allah answers prayers in ways that help us towards eternal salvation, rather than solve problems in this life. Could the following prayer be a clue as to how Allah answers prayers?

I asked for Strength.........
And Allah gave me Difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for Wisdom.........
And Allah gave me Problems to solve.
I asked for Prosperity.........
And Allah gave me Brain and Brawn to work.
I asked for Courage.........
And Allah gave me Danger to overcome.
I asked for Love.........
And Allah gave me Troubled people to help.
I asked for Favours.........
And Allah gave me Opportunities.

I received nothing I wanted
I received everything I needed
My Prayer has been answered.

In the spirit of praying for help to do the will of Allah.

Eric
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Simple_Person
08-04-2017, 08:02 AM
Wa alaikum salam wa rahmatullah

Depression is because you do not do what you were meant to do.

"And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me." Qur'an 51:56

So our sole purpose IS TO worship Allah. When you do that, marrying, to eating, etc. becomes secondary. You said you are going to start praying in'sha'Allah, but i can tell you bra it has ALL to do with praying.

Just like you said

For one minute, when they mentioned my name on graduation day in front of around 300 people, I couldn't believe it. The mayor of the city handed me a gift, and congratulated me.
My point is, I have all of this happiness in my life and alhamdurilla my parents are very happy with me,
You being happy because of people congratulating you is all temporary. Your parents being proud because you were the best of all those students..it is all secondary. Do not make something that is rather secondary, primary, and what is primary, secondary. Fix this issue first, then you will notice that the happiness never ends as you focus on the primary (worshiping Allah - prayer).

Btw, having a girlfriend is forbidden. Mixing is even forbidden.

"And do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way." Qur'an 17:32

Allah does NOT say, do not do unlawful sexual intercourse, He rather says do not APPROACH it. In other words, doing unlawful sexual intercourse, is forbidden, because approaching it is already forbidden.

Talking to a girl if it is NOT necessary for example is forbidden. If you are at work and work related, keep it work related talk and only that. Do not make it personal. Hanging out is also approaching it which is forbidden.
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Arfa
08-05-2017, 06:56 PM
Assalamualaikum little brother,

Firstly, you should celebrate your achievements regarding your education. Since you aced your exam, you should be eternally grateful to Allah (SWT) that you have been blessed with success at your school! Therefore, it is important you start counting your blessings! Many boys your age would want to receive a gift from the Mayor :). As for your yearning for a girlfriend just because every Christian boy has one, I don't think you should set your intensions for a mere girlfriend as it is haram. Instead ask your parents to set your engagement with a nice girl so you will feel more balanced.
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azc
08-06-2017, 02:19 AM
:wa: You're a bright student. As a muslim you shouldn't long for having a girlfriend. Islam doesn't allow this relationship
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