help!?i cannot take this anymore

[sadia.rajput]

Asalam O Alaikum people,i'm new here..i came here because i felt like as if no other depression forum site was willing to help me plus they're non Muslim sites...so it goes like this..i kind of had a traumatic childhood with my mum and dad always fighting(physically) i had extreme social anxiety....so i left school(please don't tell me to go back to school i cannot go back i'd rather get home schooled)also jealous relatives used black magic to ruin my family(which they've been very successful in)
by the way black magic is very commonly used in my country sadly,well years have passed and the situation of the house is kind of okay but still the same,i really don't want to curse(bad words) or anything but the situation of my mind has become so bad that well it doesn't wish for anything but death(please do not say it's cowardly to wish death or something just because many of you haven't experienced depression or these thoughts,but i have sense it's forbidden)i'm also suffering from extreme intrusive thoughts A.K.A Waswas of shaitan,i have OCD(obsessive compulsive disorder),ADHD(attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) AND PTSD(post traumatic stress disorder) and also something known as MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMING,i know this post will get less replies..because nobody wants to deal with a depressed person like me..yes i am not very religious but not extremely non religious,i know that it's also a reason i'm this way but my ocd is so strong that i always miss prayers and get easily distracted(ADHD)that i forget to pray,i don't know what or who to blame me or my disorder?,this situation is getting out of hand i don't know what to do my family doesn't understand or take my situation seriously,i cannot go to a psychiatrist because no one would take me neither can i go by myself,i tried asking about my problems on some Muslim group on FB but the admin thought i was being dramatic and kicked me out it was extremely rude of the admin..i'm not the only child i have 4 other siblings though but their situation isn't as bad as mine....i feel like no one wants to help me,i can't even help myself...btw i'm only a kid

[seekingaid234]

Read my post I m going through the exactly same. Wallahi even that ADHD I got too. I didnt mention black magic but it is also a sad thing which happened to me

[seekingaid234]

I am as worried as you might be in your current situation right now ...

[sadia.rajput]

so i was right it seems nobody wants to help oh well it's okay i don't blame anyone it's my fault for existing,i guess there's only one option left now......no one's gonna miss me anyway i'm just temporary...worthless person

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Read my post I m going through the exactly same. Wallahi even that ADHD I got too. I didnt mention black magic but it is also a sad thing which happened to me

what's the name of your post?

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so i was right it seems nobody wants to help oh well it's okay i don't blame anyone it's my fault for existing,i guess there's only one option left now......no one's gonna miss me anyway i'm just temporary...worthless person

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what's the name of your post?

found it

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[ahmedahmed]

well,it is complicated and i say lets start with the basics.happiness,laughter is from allah swt and only through his obedience can you get happiness.i know other non-muslims who are happy but it is a test for them.a fitna
lets start

-pray regulary your obligatory 5 prayers.
-in the morning and afternoon,read ayatul kursi,surah falaq and naas(3 times),subhanalah wa bihamdihi 100 times,la hawla wala quwata ila billah 100 times,astaghfirullah 100 times.
-before sleeping ,read these
ayah kursi
-last two verse of surah baqarah,surah falaq and naas 3 times,sleep in clean state,surah mulk if possible.
learn to say bismillah before everything,before leaving the house,etc.black magic wont hurt someone who is connected deeply to allah swt and the rewards of remembering almighty allah through out the day everyday is huge.
for example,saying la hawla wala quwata ila billah ,a tree is planted in jannah,sins forgiven .

stick to this basic islamic lifestyle and watch how your life improves.i have tried and tested.:shade:

[AabiruSabeel]

:salam:

Welcome to IslamicBoard, both of you.

Our members will be online within a few hours and they will counsel you :ia:. Meanwhile, I recommend both of you to recite Manzil daily and encourage your family members to recite it as well. Manzil is a collection of Ayaat from the Holy Qur'an. By reciting them on a daily basis, إن ِشاء الله you will get protection from evil eye, sorcery etc. You can find it any Islamic bookshop, or you can recite it online from one of these links:
http://tauheed-sunnat.com/bk/kallam/Manzil/Manzil%20(www.tauheed-sunnat.com).pdf

https://cureofmagic.blogspot.com/p/manzil.html

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you sadia.rajput; and welcome to the forum;

I am so sorry to hear about your suffering, and all your problems in life. Don't give up, you only made your first post an hour ago, there are some wonderful sisters and brothers here, but we can be a bit slow to respond.

I like this quote by Jackson Kiddard

“Anything that annoys you is for teaching you patience.
Anyone who abandons you is for
teaching you how to stand up
on your own two feet.
Anything that angers you is for teaching you forgiveness and compassion.
Anything that has power over you is for teaching you how to take your power back.
Anything you hate is for
teaching you unconditional love.
Anything you fear is for
teaching you courage to
overcome your fear.
Anything you can’t control is for teaching you how to let go and trust the Universe”

by the way black magic is very commonly used in my country

Would you care to say how black magic has affected you personally?

May you be blessed in this life and the hereafter.

Eric

[sadia.rajput]

Greetings and peace be with you sadia.rajput; and welcome to the forum;

I am so sorry to hear about your suffering, and all your problems in life. Don't give up, you only made your first post an hour ago, there are some wonderful sisters and brothers here, but we can be a bit slow to respond.

I like this quote by Jackson Kiddard

“Anything that annoys you is for teaching you patience.
Anyone who abandons you is for
teaching you how to stand up
on your own two feet.
Anything that angers you is for teaching you forgiveness and compassion.
Anything that has power over you is for teaching you how to take your power back.
Anything you hate is for
teaching you unconditional love.
Anything you fear is for
teaching you courage to
overcome your fear.
Anything you can’t control is for teaching you how to let go and trust the Universe”

Would you care to say how black magic has affected you personally?

May you be blessed in this life and the hereafter.

Eric

well,i feel like there's something very evil in my mind or latched to me,i get extreme intrusive thoughts like it comes to the point where it makes me feel very guilty about what i have thought about even when i'm nothing like that,it's stressing me a lot maybe it's something to do with black magic you see black magic is being used by my relatives,step mom and father(i do not live with that horrible woman) to ruin my relationship with my real mother so we'd prefer dad more(dad's doing that),i've become very impatient,have anger issues and i've become very hopeless about the future that all i want is death now tbh,i know it's not the answer but sometimes it really does when my situation get's worse

[sadia.rajput]

Surprising how someone talking about depression get's less replies and other questions get atleast 20,maybe it's not well worth enough? Sorry for complaining but really i'f you'd be in my shoes maybe you'd at least won't take it that lightly i'm suicidal right now,there are sayings like "people do not care they are only pretending ..and most of the time people love it that you're depressed and 2% only care..no body cares unless you're dead or famous i knew it i shouldn't have even bothered to write here all i get is just wait it's going to get better time will change,no it won't not for me ,sorry but i'm kinda well someone who's an outcast..

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to all the people who tried to help me i'm sorry but this is my fate,you've all been well kind,you'll never know whether i'm dead or not but,it's time i actually die no one wants me alive anyway i'm a burden to family and well everyone i tell my problems to

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I am as worried as you might be in your current situation right now ...

i'm sorry i couldn't reply to your inbox message it won't let me unless i have more posts

[*charisma*]

Walaikum Assalam

I'll try to help by breaking down your problems a bit.

.i kind of had a traumatic childhood with my mum and dad always fighting(physically)

This can be traumatic for some children. However, I really want you to consider that this isn't your fault nor are you in control of what your parents do. If you can make a difference and make the situation better, then you may do that, but if you cannot, then please do not let it bother you. They are adults, they are responsible for their own actions and you shouldn't feel so affected by it.

i had extreme social anxiety....so i left school(please don't tell me to go back to school i cannot go back i'd rather get home schooled)

I used to have social anxiety when I was younger. I hated being around others. When you feel so bad about yourself, its very easy to think that others feel the same about you as well. But the truth is, no one is really thinking about you as much as you think they are. It's all in the mind. The thing that honestly cured it was learning more about Islam and finding strength in that. Our lives are based on our good deeds right? So if having anxiety is keeping you from being the best and strongest muslim you can be, then you have to get rid of it. You need to be stronger so that nothing can affect you. When you allow anyone to make you feel bad or give you anxiety, then you're preventing yourself from growing and healing. They're not important, but YOU are, so don't give them that power.

also jealous relatives used black magic to ruin my family(which they've been very successful in)
by the way black magic is very commonly used in my country sadly

You can protect yourself from black magic by making the morning and evening du'as, and also reciting verses from the Quran on yourself. Your family life could be this way by the bad choices family members have made and not by black magic. Either way, you need to strengthen your reliance and faith in Allah.

yes i am not very religious but not extremely non religious,i know that it's also a reason i'm this way but my ocd is so strong that i always miss prayers and get easily distracted(ADHD)that i forget to pray,i don't know what or who to blame me or my disorder?

OCD doesn't happen overnight. It's something you focused on too much which made you this way. You can easily remember whether you have done your prayers or not by making a chart which you can mark everytime you have completed prayers, or you can set an alarm and be diligent in making prayers on time, etc. There are several ways to ensure that your prayers are done. There's no reason to have OCD over this to the extent that you forget prayers.

the situation of my mind has become so bad that well it doesn't wish for anything but death(please do not say it's cowardly to wish death or something just because many of you haven't experienced depression or these thoughts,but i have sense it's forbidden

Never make this a choice for yourself. You can't expect changes in your life if you are not making any improvements. You cannot be happier if you are allowing unimportant things to affect your life. No matter how much suffering you feel like you are going through, it will get better as long as you do something positive about it inshallah and seek the help of Allah. But if you do nothing but feel bad about your situation all the time, then shaytan will keep coming to you and make you feel so depressed. I know you have siblings which are handling the situation differently and maybe this makes you feel alone because no one in your family can relate to you, but you need to persevere. Maybe the situation isn't as bad as you really think it is, but because you dwell on it so much and put everything on your shoulders, it feels worse. So stop doing that :) If you can't change the things that bother you, then don't worry about them. And if you can, then work harder in improving them. In the end, try to enjoy life more. You're still young. May Allah make it easy for you ameen.

[sadia.rajput]

Walaikum Assalam

I'll try to help by breaking down your problems a bit.


This can be traumatic for some children. However, I really want you to consider that this isn't your fault nor are you in control of what your parents do. If you can make a difference and make the situation better, then you may do that, but if you cannot, then please do not let it bother you. They are adults, they are responsible for their own actions and you shouldn't feel so affected by it.



I used to have social anxiety when I was younger. I hated being around others. When you feel so bad about yourself, its very easy to think that others feel the same about you as well. But the truth is, no one is really thinking about you as much as you think they are. It's all in the mind. The thing that honestly cured it was learning more about Islam and finding strength in that. Our lives are based on our good deeds right? So if having anxiety is keeping you from being the best and strongest muslim you can be, then you have to get rid of it. You need to be stronger so that nothing can affect you. When you allow anyone to make you feel bad or give you anxiety, then you're preventing yourself from growing and healing. They're not important, but YOU are, so don't give them that power.



You can protect yourself from black magic by making the morning and evening du'as, and also reciting verses from the Quran on yourself. Your family life could be this way by the bad choices family members have made and not by black magic. Either way, you need to strengthen your reliance and faith in Allah.



OCD doesn't happen overnight. It's something you focused on too much which made you this way. You can easily remember whether you have done your prayers or not by making a chart which you can mark everytime you have completed prayers, or you can set an alarm and be diligent in making prayers on time, etc. There are several ways to ensure that your prayers are done. There's no reason to have OCD over this to the extent that you forget prayers.



Never make this a choice for yourself. You can't expect changes in your life if you are not making any improvements. You cannot be happier if you are allowing unimportant things to affect your life. No matter how much suffering you feel like you are going through, it will get better as long as you do something positive about it inshallah and seek the help of Allah. But if you do nothing but feel bad about your situation all the time, then shaytan will keep coming to you and make you feel so depressed. I know you have siblings which are handling the situation differently and maybe this makes you feel alone because no one in your family can relate to you, but you need to persevere. Maybe the situation isn't as bad as you really think it is, but because you dwell on it so much and put everything on your shoulders, it feels worse. So stop doing that :) If you can't change the things that bother you, then don't worry about them. And if you can, then work harder in improving them. In the end, try to enjoy life more. You're still young. May Allah make it easy for you ameen.

i'm sorry that i'm this way,btw it's not the parent's fighting that did this to me(it's the beatings i got after i refused to go to school) they weren't just normal beatings,i was physically abused in the past,when i became teenager it got worse,now i have mental problems,and it's not OCD that keeps me from prayer i'm not lying i am very forgetful and i'm very easily distracted it's part of ADHD so having a negative surrounding doesn't effect children right? yes it does no one including me is normal in my family,maybe if you's be living here then you'd no what i'm actually going through,do you have a father who makes his own children feel worthless and like a punching bag every day? thinks we're a burden when he's the reason we were born..it's hard to stay positive in situations like these...maybe i'm secretly being punished for being alive and my mental disorders are extreme,they aren't at normal levels including my depression

[*charisma*]

i'm sorry that i'm this way,btw it's not the parent's fighting that did this to me(it's the beatings i got after i refused to go to school) they weren't just normal beatings,i was physically abused in the past,when i became teenager it got worse,now i have mental problems,and it's not OCD that keeps me from prayer i'm not lying i am very forgetful and i'm very easily distracted it's part of ADHD so having a negative surrounding doesn't effect children right? yes it does no one including me is normal in my family,maybe if you's be living here then you'd no what i'm actually going through,do you have a father who makes his own children feel worthless and like a punching bag every day? thinks we're a burden when he's the reason we were born..it's hard to stay positive in situations like these...maybe i'm secretly being punished for being alive and my mental disorders are extreme,they aren't at normal levels including my depression

I understand what you're going through. You still have a choice to think positively and not let everything affect you so much. The feelings you have are all inside of you and can be controlled. It's just a matter of getting out of the mindset you're in. You also have to be more patient with your parents and with yourself. You shouldn't be getting beatings, but you also shouldn't refrain from going to school if your parents want you to. You have to learn how to deal with issues instead of running away from them. I think because you keep comparing yourself to those around you you feel like you are so different from everyone else, when in reality there are a lot of people who go through the same things as you do. I'm sorry you are getting physically abused. Your dad has his own issues he has to take care of, but you should learn from his mistakes and realize that this is what happens when you cannot control your own mindset. It's very important you learn how to deal with your feelings.

[sadia.rajput]

I understand what you're going through. You still have a choice to think positively and not let everything affect you so much. The feelings you have are all inside of you and can be controlled. It's just a matter of getting out of the mindset you're in. You also have to be more patient with your parents and with yourself. You shouldn't be getting beatings, but you also shouldn't refrain from going to school if your parents want you to. You have to learn how to deal with issues instead of running away from them. I think because you keep comparing yourself to those around you you feel like you are so different from everyone else, when in reality there are a lot of people who go through the same things as you do. I'm sorry you are getting physically abused. Your dad has his own issues he has to take care of, but you should learn from his mistakes and realize that this is what happens when you cannot control your own mindset. It's very important you learn how to deal with your feelings.

i don't get beatings anymore though it's just my mind now it's just the shaitan latched to me..i'm not at peace i'm just surviving not living..i know there are many out there like me..and you won't believe this but half of the reason of my depression is caring too much about what's happening in this world,the injustices and everything(that's why i consider myself unique almost no one's depressed for what's happening in this world maybe some people are but not most)i know it can't be changed but i cannot not think about that i'm so negative that i try to find reasons to not live anymore, i cannot cure my impatience and anger problem..wish i wasn't this way but i am sadly btw i'm from a place called Pakistan intentionally defamed and framed on the western media..

[Umm Malik]

Asalam O Alaikum people,i'm new here..i came here because i felt like as if no other depression forum site was willing to help me plus they're non Muslim sites...so it goes like this..i kind of had a traumatic childhood with my mum and dad always fighting(physically) i had extreme social anxiety....so i left school(please don't tell me to go back to school i cannot go back i'd rather get home schooled)also jealous relatives used black magic to ruin my family(which they've been very successful in)
by the way black magic is very commonly used in my country sadly,well years have passed and the situation of the house is kind of okay but still the same,i really don't want to curse(bad words) or anything but the situation of my mind has become so bad that well it doesn't wish for anything but death(please do not say it's cowardly to wish death or something just because many of you haven't experienced depression or these thoughts,but i have sense it's forbidden)i'm also suffering from extreme intrusive thoughts A.K.A Waswas of shaitan,i have OCD(obsessive compulsive disorder),ADHD(attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) AND PTSD(post traumatic stress disorder) and also something known as MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMING,i know this post will get less replies..because nobody wants to deal with a depressed person like me..yes i am not very religious but not extremely non religious,i know that it's also a reason i'm this way but my ocd is so strong that i always miss prayers and get easily distracted(ADHD)that i forget to pray,i don't know what or who to blame me or my disorder?,this situation is getting out of hand i don't know what to do my family doesn't understand or take my situation seriously,i cannot go to a psychiatrist because no one would take me neither can i go by myself,i tried asking about my problems on some Muslim group on FB but the admin thought i was being dramatic and kicked me out it was extremely rude of the admin..i'm not the only child i have 4 other siblings though but their situation isn't as bad as mine....i feel like no one wants to help me,i can't even help myself...btw i'm only a kid

Read my post I m going through the exactly same. Wallahi even that ADHD I got too. I didnt mention black magic but it is also a sad thing which happened to me

if the cause is the black magic than you should those following things
and if you do them sincerely and without stopping in the period of doing rukyah
100 time LA ilahalillah wahdahu LA sharika lah lahu lmulku walahu lhmd wahouwa ala kulli shay'i'n kadir
after Fajr
reading alfatiha 1 time alikhlas 3 times alfalak 3 times Annas 3 times
making a lot of istighfar and LA hawla wala kuwata illa billah and making a lot of dikr
and saying subhanallahi wabihamdih when someone treating you badly or say something which hurt you
because this was the advice from Allah to the prophet about the tightening of the chest about the actions of the people of makkah
try to hear the rukyah of Idris abkar you will found it on YouTube I hope that will benifit you I my self found it so good subhanallah ... he feel the Quran mashallah
may Allah heal both of you and all those who are suffering from any kind of hardship
I was one day like you or more
and now by the time alhamdulillah i grown up and I get a good life alhamdulillah ...while I was one day hoping for a smile
Allah knows best

[*charisma*]

i don't get beatings anymore though it's just my mind now it's just the shaitan latched to me..i'm not at peace i'm just surviving not living..i know there are many out there like me..and you won't believe this but half of the reason of my depression is caring too much about what's happening in this world,the injustices and everything(that's why i consider myself unique almost no one's depressed for what's happening in this world maybe some people are but not most)i know it can't be changed but i cannot not think about that i'm so negative that i try to find reasons to not live anymore, i cannot cure my impatience and anger problem..wish i wasn't this way but i am sadly btw i'm from a place called Pakistan intentionally defamed and framed on the western media..

How do you spend your days? Do you have any hobbies?

[sadia.rajput]

How do you spend your days? Do you have any hobbies?

it's just mostly art,sketching (tbh i've been waiting to be asked questions like these) and i'm kind of lazy that's why i don't do much and well just watch stuff,but i lose interest in things too soon,nowadays i'm trying to find help for the way i am,i have 2 friends(only online),but they are mostly busy so i don't get to spend time with them much,the problem is that i'm also kind of lonely,my siblings really don't have time to spend with me nor my mom

[*charisma*]

it's just mostly art,sketching (tbh i've been waiting to be asked questions like these) and i'm kind of lazy that's why i don't do much and well just watch stuff,but i lose interest in things too soon,nowadays i'm trying to find help for the way i am,i have 2 friends(only online),but they are mostly busy so i don't get to spend time with them much,the problem is that i'm also kind of lonely,my siblings really don't have time to spend with me nor my mom

I don't think you have any psychological issues. I think you're just introverted. You may also be mildly depressed due to your feelings of loneliness, but not clinically depressed. You are also probably not ADHD, or have a very mild form of that if you do have it. So I think we should begin by eliminating the thoughts that you have any psychological disorders, especially when you haven't seen a professional. Even if you did have any issues, they can be overcome and it doesn't mean you have to define yourself by them.

I can tell that you like having attention but because you do not socialize easily, you're not getting the attention you need. That can definitely trigger a lot of feelings in someone who really wants to have close relationships but is unable to due to social anxiety. The most important thing is for you to learn more about your religion because that will make a huge difference in your life.

I think this book will be helpful for you. It's a wonderful book : Don't Be Sad (pdf)

Also instead of trying to get others to understand you, have you tried seeing things from their point of view? Usually friends are made when they have the same interests. You have to find more interests other than art and sketching because that's a very personal hobby which is difficult to discuss unless it's on display. If you don't do much and are often lazy, then you will be seen as a boring individual. Arent there other things that you could be interested in?

[STN]

I am going to sound a little harsh but i see it for what it is.

You have got the problem of too much free time and excuses to justify your actions.

All of us have OCD to a degree, how does that stop you from praying 5 times? Who gave you the diagnosis of ADHD ? Every kid these days considers himself to be ADHD but they're not ADHD when you show them something that interests them. How do you know you're suffering from PTSD ? Do you even know what PTSD is and what is your trigger?

You are also an attention-seeker, read your posts again and see how demanding and assumptive you are.

You are completely fine, you are just bored because you have so much free time and you know when you have free time, you think endlessly.

The solution is to pray 5 times, read Holy Quran. And go to a school like the other kids your age do, social shyness only lasts the first few days of your school then it becomes normal.

You forget your prayers because you have zero interest in them and consider them a burden. How will you remember to pray ? OCD doesn't give you Alzheimer's so your memory is fine.

I used to day-dream a lot when i was in my school as a teenager, it was mostly sexual fantasies because it was a way to escape reality of the mundane and boring school classes. So i had maladaptive daydreaming? No, i was a completely normal kid after just gone through puberty and under influence of hormones.

I am sorry for being so harsh but please be fair to yourself. The terms that you use to justify your actions and the excuses you have, any person can see through them especially when you've not been to a psychiatrist to get a proper diagnosis from. Depression on the other hand, i agree with you but if you're this depressed that you're thinking of suicide then you should go see a doctor and figure out the root cause of depression.

[sadia.rajput]

I don't think you have any psychological issues. I think you're just introverted. You may also be mildly depressed due to your feelings of loneliness, but not clinically depressed. You are also probably not ADHD, or have a very mild form of that if you do have it. So I think we should begin by eliminating the thoughts that you have any psychological disorders, especially when you haven't seen a professional. Even if you did have any issues, they can be overcome and it doesn't mean you have to define yourself by them.

I can tell that you like having attention but because you do not socialize easily, you're not getting the attention you need. That can definitely trigger a lot of feelings in someone who really wants to have close relationships but is unable to due to social anxiety. The most important thing is for you to learn more about your religion because that will make a huge difference in your life.

I think this book will be helpful for you. It's a wonderful book : Don't Be Sad (pdf)

Also instead of trying to get others to understand you, have you tried seeing things from their point of view? Usually friends are made when they have the same interests. You have to find more interests other than art and sketching because that's a very personal hobby which is difficult to discuss unless it's on display. If you don't do much and are often lazy, then you will be seen as a boring individual. Arent there other things that you could be interested in?

btw way i forgot to mention that i did used to go to a psychiatrist a very long time ago and was diagnosed before with adhd,ocd,ptsd and depression,maybe you never had these that's why you're assuming i don't,i really do have these disorders i was diagnosed and as i told you before.. and i literally have no friends with the same interests can't even get one anyway,i'm more of well..negative even my art is based on dark stuff my personality and everything if i change it i would be like everyone else not original(i don't want to change my personality just cuz people think of me as boring no thanks,but the laziness thing does need to stop and the social anxiety thing..

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I am going to sound a little harsh but i see it for what it is.

You have got the problem of too much free time and excuses to justify your actions.

All of us have OCD to a degree, how does that stop you from praying 5 times? Who gave you the diagnosis of ADHD ? Every kid these days considers himself to be ADHD but they're not ADHD when you show them something that interests them. How do you know you're suffering from PTSD ? Do you even know what PTSD is and what is your trigger?

You are also an attention-seeker, read your posts again and see how demanding and assumptive you are.

You are completely fine, you are just bored because you have so much free time and you know when you have free time, you think endlessly.

The solution is to pray 5 times, read Holy Quran. And go to a school like the other kids your age do, social shyness only lasts the first few days of your school then it becomes normal.

You forget your prayers because you have zero interest in them and consider them a burden. How will you remember to pray ? OCD doesn't give you Alzheimer's so your memory is fine.

I used to day-dream a lot when i was in my school as a teenager, it was mostly sexual fantasies because it was a way to escape reality of the mundane and boring school classes. So i had maladaptive daydreaming? No, i was a completely normal kid after just gone through puberty and under influence of hormones.

I am sorry for being so harsh but please be fair to yourself. The terms that you use to justify your actions and the excuses you have, any person can see through them especially when you've not been to a psychiatrist to get a proper diagnosis from. Depression on the other hand, i agree with you but if you're this depressed that you're thinking of suicide then you should go see a doctor and figure out the root cause of depression.

you know what you don't understand anything,non Muslim sitesreally are more understanding!

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you sadia.rajput;

well,i feel like there's something very evil in my mind or latched to me,i get extreme intrusive thoughts like it comes to the point where it makes me feel very guilty about what i have thought about even when i'm nothing like that,it's stressing me a lot maybe it's something to do with black magic you see black magic is being used by my relatives,step mom and father

I think you may be a victim of your own mind. If you think black magic can harm you, then it will, because you are giving it permission to work. Fear is a terrible thing, and often fearful thoughts affect us more than the thing we are afraid off.

I worked with people who had challenging behaviour, that just meant you got punched, kicked and had things thrown at you. In order to help these people, you had to stand near them, we were often targets to be hit. So we had every right to be afraid, I saw some staff members, that after they had been hit, they would be off sick for a month with stress.

The way I have dealt with fear is this, I would rather be hit, than live in fear of being hit, and I have been hit many times. The most pain I suffered from a punch in the face, lasted maybe half an hour, then there was no pain.

The fear of being hit can stay with you days, months or years. Fear can be far worse than real pain.

What do you think is more powerful? Black magic or Allah? If you feel Allah is more powerful, than turn to him in prayer.

Blessings

Eric

[STN]

i'm more of well..negative even my art is based on dark stuff my personality and everything if i change it i would be like everyone else not original(i don't want to change my personality just cuz people think of me as boring no thanks,but the laziness thing does need to stop and the social anxiety thing..

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you know what you don't understand anything,non Muslim sitesreally are more understanding!

First you said other sites are not understanding and bad and now we aren't understanding.

One thing that you learn as you grow up is you can't expect people to like you when you don't give up your bad habits and "just be yourself". You complain of being alone and social anxiety and then say things like "if i change it i would be like everyone else not original". I sense a lot of movies and drama in that statement.

If you want other people to like you and not be alone then don't think they're "unoriginal" and you're some special snowflake. We are all the same and our experiences changes us but the basic human interaction is same whether you're the king of the country or a poor peasant. Go and talk friendly to your friends and you will find everyone is friendly back.

The problem you have is you are in this vicious cycle of negativity - i have this disorder and that disorder and then you act according to that which reinforces your belief more and then you go back and then you go back and so on and so forth. People hate me because i am so special and different than them and you act like that which reinforces your belief of you being different than others and the cycle continues.

To break free of the cycle, you have to admit to yourself where you are feeding and encouraging this behavior to continue.

Let me point out to you - the first step is to listen and don't dis the advice of people - who know more than you - like they don't understand you. The second is to admit you're just as normal, as "unoriginal" (interesting word) as the rest of the humanity and you're going through a phase of your teenage years and lastly, accept your faults - you're an attention seeker and there is nothing wrong with that, some of us are wired that way (i am one) but find a proper way to get that attention and please don't make it be negative.

I have a feeling this is falling on deaf ears so i am not going to waste my breath anymore. Good luck and please don't make excuses not to pray and be religious.