How do I deal with a toxic mother?

[Mustafa16]

My mother and I were discussing if I had the right to talk to children, because I tend to get lonely and awkward and I get a long better with children.
She said all kinds of vulgar things like, "you fantasize about marrying children when they get older, you masturbate while thinking about them (latter isn't true), I am not your pimp, if you tell a donkey to do something 40 times it will eventually do it but you only care about yourself and do things for yourself, etc."
every time i talk to my mother i end up being yelled at and being emotionally drained. she calls me wahhabi for trying to grow a beard, or a "hobo" or "bum" she tells me things like "go ahead and kill yourself" when i am depressed and suicidal. she calls me wahhabi for saying interest is haram, which she indulges in.

what should i do?

['Abd-al Latif]

My mother and I were discussing if I had the right to talk to children, because I tend to get lonely and awkward and I get a long better with children.
She said all kinds of vulgar things like, "you fantasize about marrying children when they get older, you masturbate while thinking about them (latter isn't true), I am not your pimp, if you tell a donkey to do something 40 times it will eventually do it but you only care about yourself and do things for yourself, etc."
every time i talk to my mother i end up being yelled at and being emotionally drained. she calls me wahhabi for trying to grow a beard, or a "hobo" or "bum" she tells me things like "go ahead and kill yourself" when i am depressed and suicidal. she calls me wahhabi for saying interest is haram, which she indulges in.

what should i do?

Be patient, firm and steadfast towards Allah. That's what you should do.

Be kind to her and everyone else, smile from your heart and never take insults personally. Persist in your Islamic obligations and be sincere and you will inshaa'Allah influence her to practice Islam properly and wholeheartedly.


Allah says "Do not lose heart or despair. You will overcome if you are believers." (3:139)

[Ali_hussain]

Salam alaikum brother, am too dealing with the same problem but not as extreme as yours. I would like to advice you that, u keep on doing good and never stop yourself from doing good because this might be a test from Allah, and as far as the solution to tackle this problem is concerned, you should try to attract your mother by your Akhlaaq, by ur good manners. Eventhought, she yells at u and says stuffs to u, u be calm and respect her. Theres a hadeeth of prophet(saw) in which a sahabi comes to the prophet(saw) and said, "my mother is a kafir should cut the kinship with?" prophet(saw) replied, "No, u shud uphold the kinship." So from this se get to knw that even if ur parents are kafir u shud respect them and treat thm with kindness but if they tell u sumthing to do which goes against the principles of islam thn u shud back off.