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ceylincemal
08-21-2017, 04:03 AM
I used to pray all the time
Nowadays I am feeling lost. I combine my prayers. I've missed Isha and Fajr multiple times and combined them with the next day dhuhr and so on and so forth
I am now listening to music quite often
I hang out with guys
I wasn't like this about 3 months ago
What happened to me? I feel like every time I try to come back to Allah and feel closer I just feel lazy
I hate this
Will I be punished
I'm so sad
Please help I feel desperate and empty and don't want Allah to punish me.
I'm sad and scared and feel alone
Thanks

PS I'm not hijabi and never have been but I don't want comments relating to this cuz I know some moderators and members like to stir the pot and act like they're better than everyone and teaching me a lesson and don't ask me that question if I am or not cuz here's your answer (for everyone else, please disregard)
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STN
08-21-2017, 07:12 AM
:sl:

Sister, Read the Holy Quran with tafsir.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BaS5NsvZ4yM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWUy_luMq0Q

When you please Shaytaan, you will get closer to him. So why are you surprised?. Music is from Shaytaan, acts of fahisha i.e hanging out with guys is an act pleasing to Shaytaan, not wearing hijab is again pleasing to Shaytaan.

Go figure it yourself.

But the good thing is you hate it so repent to Allah and try to spend more time understanding Holy Quran. Watching Islamic videos and reading about the life of Prophet Mohammad (SAWW).

May Allah guide you and me, Ameen!
Reply

OnePath
08-21-2017, 06:00 PM
ok people need to relax and not take their haram gun and shoot it at her

yes she's doing wrong stuff but as she stated she's lazy so telling her to do this and do that and FEAR ALLAH and then you ok.. won't help her at all

try to be more considerate, please.

anyway..

Hello ceylincemal[CENTER]

i use to pray a lot as well, wake up at night and pray night prayer, memorize surah after surah, read stories about the past and you name it.. then randomly.. out of laziness I stopped praying as much.

athan that would pop-up on my PC screen and I felt bad for a min then continuing whatever I was doing ignore the prayer, i stopped listening to Quran, and so much more that decrease my Iman(faith).... so how did I get back into being religious again? well it took time but one Ramadan I watched a video randomly of what will happen when we die and what things we would go through where I was like " wait what... we gonna go through that when we die?" so I researched this as in found places where Allah talks about death and grave and alot of hadits about this, this was one of many things that pointed me towards taking islam more seriouse.. because its a thing we cant avoid... one day we wil get back to allah.. its like an inevitable thing what will happend no matter what.. we cant avoid it..but this is just a way how changed hrough fear of punishment.. you might change in a diffrent way.. anyway while i was slowling getting back to more islam i then discovered more about Allah..

Like his love to us.. did you know.. Allah loves us 70 times more then our own mothers? no way ... :O ( Allah loves the best of His creations, the human being. One day the Holy Prophet (S) was walking with his companions when he saw a mother bird with her babies in a nest. The mother bird was feeding the small ones some worms. So tender and gentle were her actions, that the companions were awe-struck at this display of love. The Prophet (S) smiled and said, "Are you surprised at the love this mother bird has for her babies? Let me inform you that Allah loves His creatures, the human beings seventy times more than this mother!")

ok that is crazy.. more then our own mothers?. let me ask you something.. do you think your mother wants to see you burn? or be in pain...? exactly.. Allah loves you and wants the best for you.. he knows your struggle.. and want u to come back to him which will make him so happy “Verily, Allah is more delighted with the repentance of His slave than a person who lost his camel in a desert land and then finds it (unexpectedly)”.[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

you will get a million changes to get back to him and better you self and he will always wait for you, he wont give up on you... if you are 1% more religious then yesterday wallahi that's a progress.. this takes time ok..

So my advice to you is know about Allah and how big his love is to us, because in that way you would feel really bad of trying to displease him, Allah moves mountains, planets instantly.. you dont think he can help you get back to him..

i leave you with Motivational Verses where allah is talking to you and i.

No disaster strikes except by permission of Allah . And whoever believes in Allah – He will guide his heart. And Allah is Knowing of all things. Quran 64:11

Say, (O Muhammad, to mankind): If ye love Allah, follow me; Allah will love you and forgive you your sins. Allah is Forgiving, Merciful. Quran 3:31

… And whoever holds firmly to Allah has [indeed] been guided to a straight path. Quran 3:101

Say, He is Allah, [who is] One, Allah , the Eternal Refuge. Quran 112:1-2

And We have not sent you (O Muhammad SAW) except as a giver of glad tidings and a warner to all mankind, but most of men know not. Quran 34:28

And incline not toward those who do wrong, lest the Fire should touch you, and you have no protectors other than Allah, nor you would then be helped. Quran 11:113

And We have sent you (O Muhammad SAW) not but as a mercy for the Alamin (mankind, jinns and all that exists). Quran 21:107

And the slaves of the Most Beneficent (Allah) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. Quran 25:63

And seek help through patience and prayer, and indeed, it is difficult except for the humbly submissive [to Allah]. Quran 2:45

O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient. Quran 2:153

O you who believe! be patient and excel in patience and remain steadfast, and be careful of (your duty to) Allah, that you may be successful. Quran 3:200

Or think you that you will enter Paradise without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They were afflicted with severe poverty and ailments and were so shaken that even the Messenger and those who believed along with him said, “When (will come) the Help of Allah?” Yes! Certainly, the Help of Allah is near! Quran 2:214

Your Lord has not taken leave of you, [O Muhammad], nor has He detested [you]. And the Hereafter is better for you than the first [life]. And your Lord is going to give you, and you will be satisfied. Quran 93:3-5

And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient. Quran 2:155

When the victory of Allah has come and the conquest, And you see the people entering into the religion of Allah in multitudes, Then exalt [Him] with praise of your Lord and ask forgiveness of Him. Indeed, He is ever Accepting of repentance. Quran 110
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Ephémère
08-21-2017, 06:41 PM
Assalamu alaikum sis,

What provoked that loss or decrease of faith?
Try to figure out what was the trigger. Do you have any doubts about Islam, Quran, Allah? Did your hear someone clash Islam? Do you wish to have more freedom?
There must be something. That would be your starting point to work on your faith.

I'm sad and scared and feel alone
Btw, you're not alone, Allah is near and loves you :)

Also, try making du'a to Allah to guide you, relieve your sadness and pain.
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ceylincemal
08-28-2017, 05:14 AM
Thank you so much it really means a lot

Wallahi, I am trying
Every time I take 1 step forward, I take 2 steps back. Idl what else to do. I'm miserable
I'll pray and be good then the next day I will go out with a boy
Like not date or anything but for my birthday I rode in his car and we went and got lunch
And I told him I liked him after he told me he liked me
I regret every second of it
I just wanted to feel special on my birthday
I'm 25 now. How silly am I?
I am retarded for thinking like this
Now I am back to being miserable and I am afraid Allah will punish me.

Like I am talking to boys (muslim Arab) and like I know we're not getting married soon or anything. And then I regret it

I am afraid Allah will punish me, I have so many goals & I don't want Allah to punish me

I'm crying every night

I read Quran and pray then the next day I am back to my old ways. I was not like this what happened?

:(

- - - Updated - - -

Thank you so much
It really means a lot

I am not sure. One day I started listening to music again then the next day I'm like sucked into movies then since I went back and did my haram habits. What is wrong with me?

:(
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ceylincemal
08-29-2017, 07:15 AM
Please, can someone help me
Reply

keiv
08-29-2017, 09:53 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by ceylincemal
Please, can someone help me
Sister, the most we can do is advise you. Just like anyone who comes here with a certain problem (depressed, losing faith, masturbation, drugs, and so on) in the end, despite what we say, it's really up to them to mentally and/or physically overcome the obstacles that challenge them in life. Sometimes people are able to stop whatever they're doing in an instant, others have to take steps, and unfortunately for others, they live their final days in this world submissive to the dunya and are too late. My only advice that has worked for me personally is to genuinely want to stop (which it sounds like you want to) and really try your hardest to avoid any temptation to do the things that are bringing you down. Instead of reaching for the radio, pull your arm back and focus on something else. Instead of going out to meet with a guy friend, simply avoid them all together if they are of no benefit to you. If you feel lonely, turn to family if possible or join an online community somewhere. Truly think about death and the afterlife. Listen to lectures about it. Sometimes, it takes being afraid to really wake someone up and as long as you have some faith, that topic can get pretty dark if you truly believe in it.

I don't know what your job or school status is but, set an alarm clock maybe 30min to an hour before fajr, eat some breakfast, relax and then pray the subh. Try to read/watch videos about the deen or anything which could be of benefit to you. Learn something which may have interested you in the past. The early morning is a good time for these things as your brain is relaxed vs the middle or end of the day when it's stressed out. Or you could just simply contemplate on life if that's your thing. After praying, you could go back to sleep or find something to do with your time. You might actually find that you're more productive and motivated to do things when you start your day earlier.

I have family who don't pray, are addicted to social media, watch tv all day and so on. I've tried advising them for years to change their ways before it's too late. Unfortunately for them, the dunya has a tight grasp on them and there's really nothing more I can do. I just have to keep reminding them and leave it up to them to want to change. Likewise, it's all we can do here. I feel your pain as I'm sure a lot of people here do. We're all human and we all suffer challenges but really in the end, it's up to us to make that change in our lives.
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ceylincemal
09-20-2017, 03:46 AM
please I'm lying drowning further and further

- - - Updated - - -

I'm drowning deep
Reply

talibilm
09-20-2017, 05:41 AM
:sl: Sister,Allah does not change us untill we first try to change ourselves .

So understand your two decades or more of your life just passed liked a few years and that's how another two decades (inshallah if we live untill then) are going to go much faster ( by prophesy of time going fast nearing doj) and we will soon be at the grave. So wake up from the life of sins {ie disobeying Allah's commands , i think the root cause could be is eating not halal ( cut or source of haram income and not pondering on the Quran and also the hijab } which will just pass out like a dream and into the reality our final destination to our Creator, which is akirah for ever (the grave life being first step)

Enter Islam completely (not 50-50) to get saved from the evils of this life and hereafter. I suggest your boy friend should talk to your parents for a halal relationship (nikkah) and hope this is advice from our hearts for your successful life of dunya and akirah


Muslim :: Book 37 : Hadith 6616 Nu'man b. Bashir reported: Allah is more pleased with the repentance of a believing servant than of a person who set out on a journey with a provision of food and drink on the back of his camel. He went on until he came to a waterless desert and he felt like sleeping. So he got down under the shade of a tree and was overcome by sleep and his camel ran away. As he got up he tried to see (the camel) standing upon a mound. but did not find it. He then got upon the other mound, but could not see anything. He then climbed upon the third mound but did not see anything until he came back to the place where he had been previously. And as he was sitting (in utter disappointment) there came to him the camel, till that (camel) placed its nosestring in his hand. Allah is more pleased with the repentance of His servant than the person who found (his lost camel) in this very state. Simak reported that Sha'bi was of the opinion that Nu'min traced it to Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him). Simak, however, did not hear that himself.

So do taubatun nasuha first and change your life for good towards Islam 100 % or as much as in your capacity.
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rozyred
09-20-2017, 06:15 AM
Until you take a decision no one can do anything. I think you have to attend a lot of religious lectures. It is Shaitan that is guiding you on the wrong path, so tell yourself that you will fight against him.
Shaitan doesn't like people praying to Allah, so make an intention that every prayer that you miss, you will pray an extra 2 rakats of Nafl prayers. This would help you practise your prayers on time.
About your boyfriend, as one of the bros or sis said, better ask him 2 talk 2 your parents. IA Allah will help you.
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ceylincemal
09-22-2017, 03:18 AM
Thank you but I'm trying that I need a way to actually motivate myself to do it and overtime I do I fall right back down
I don't have a boyfriend where are u getting that assumption
I said I hang out with guys, like friends and we go get lunch and stuff
I then turn back to Allah then turn back to my ways
I hate this and feel like I want to just kill myself
Reply

rozyred
09-24-2017, 04:10 AM
salam, take part in religious services and attend Islamic lectures. This would really help. whenever you have time listen to the translation of the Quran...

check this: https://youtu.be/I8zqVumSp0A
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AbdurRahman.
09-24-2017, 10:30 AM
Sister, you need to take baby steps to get back on the path so if you're postponing 2 or 3 salahs then intend to fix one of them, when that is fixed you can try with the next

Hijab is important too, without it boys will find you attractive and make moves towards you so you'll always will have this fitna to contend with
Reply

Aishath
09-25-2017, 03:25 AM
Assalaamu Alaikum

Ohh sister *hugs*

First of all, be kind to yourself. I have been exactly where you are right now. I'm still struggling to get back to my previous self. It happens sister. And when it does, we have to be kind to ourselves and forgive our own selves so we can gently guide ourself back.

A lot of times we are not brought up according to strict Islamic principles. Hanging out with the opposite gender, having close friends, even telling a guy you like them, even going out on dates... these are all considered normal in many Muslim cultures. I don't know much about your background but where I grew up, it was perfectly normal, in fact even encouraged, to have a boyfriend. Keep in mind, that I grew up in a Muslim country too. Because we didn't grow up with these Islamic principles, it was so easy to fall back into the old habits. I too would come home and pray and feel so guilty about how I had done this sin or that. This was AFTER I had been at such a peak in Eeman.

Sister, first of all, you are not alone. We are all in the path together. What I began trying to do was first of all, make Taubah and then also (like I mentioned before) go easy on yourself. You might make a mistake one day. You might end up talking to that guy or missing this prayer. If so, again renew your Taubah and FORGIVE yourself and move on. Shaytan loves for us to feel like we are doing so badly or that there is no hope etc. One of the tricks of Shaytan is to make us feel like we are already doing this sin so why not just go all out and do these sins too. One of my friends used to commit zina regularly with her boyfriend. (They were both Muslim). She would tell me that she didn't pray anymore because she was finding it hard to stay away from zina. That is how Shaytan operates. She felt so guilty about her sin but at the same time, shaytan convinced her there is no point in her praying. Allah won't accept it from someone who is doing zina. which meant that she kept on falling more into this sin.

Start off with your prayers. If you find it hard to stop the music and everything, just stick to your Salaah. Do your best to do all five of your prayers on time. If you miss one, do Qadha and move on. Don't dwell on it to the extent that you then get into the mentality that you are having a 'bad' day - might as well go all the way and just begin afresh tomorrow. Instead just tell yourself, 'right, I made a mistake there but that's okay. I will try harder next time'.

Like another member on this thread commented, take baby steps. If you find it hard to stop listening to music and immediately switch to listening to Quran, maybe try listening to a nasheed with no music. If you find it hard to recite Quran for long periods of time, just download an app on your phone and recite 10 ayat a day. Or just 5. Or even 1. Just do a little bit everyday. As you stick to certain 'little' steps with regularity, you will begin experiencing the sweetness of faith again In Shaa Allah. Soon you will want to recite a little bit longer, and then a little bit more.

It might be hard to jump into watching full Islamic lectures. So instead, try to just watch those short clips on youtube that are only a couple of minutes long.

You can do it sister. The fact that you are on this forum ,feeling regret is a sure sign that Allah wants you to turn back to him In Shaa Allah. He is the one who is letting you feel that regret in your heart Ma Shaa Allah. So many sisters do exactly what you talk about and feel no regrets at all. Alhamdulillah that you are not one of them.

I hope this helps sister. You can PM me anytime too if you wish to talk further. I'm here to help In Shaa Allah.

I love you for the sake of Allah sis. I believe that you can get through this stage.

Take care of yourself dear.
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ceylincemal
10-15-2017, 10:32 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Aishath
Assalaamu Alaikum

Ohh sister *hugs*

First of all, be kind to yourself. I have been exactly where you are right now. I'm still struggling to get back to my previous self. It happens sister. And when it does, we have to be kind to ourselves and forgive our own selves so we can gently guide ourself back.

A lot of times we are not brought up according to strict Islamic principles. Hanging out with the opposite gender, having close friends, even telling a guy you like them, even going out on dates... these are all considered normal in many Muslim cultures. I don't know much about your background but where I grew up, it was perfectly normal, in fact even encouraged, to have a boyfriend. Keep in mind, that I grew up in a Muslim country too. Because we didn't grow up with these Islamic principles, it was so easy to fall back into the old habits. I too would come home and pray and feel so guilty about how I had done this sin or that. This was AFTER I had been at such a peak in Eeman.

Sister, first of all, you are not alone. We are all in the path together. What I began trying to do was first of all, make Taubah and then also (like I mentioned before) go easy on yourself. You might make a mistake one day. You might end up talking to that guy or missing this prayer. If so, again renew your Taubah and FORGIVE yourself and move on. Shaytan loves for us to feel like we are doing so badly or that there is no hope etc. One of the tricks of Shaytan is to make us feel like we are already doing this sin so why not just go all out and do these sins too. One of my friends used to commit zina regularly with her boyfriend. (They were both Muslim). She would tell me that she didn't pray anymore because she was finding it hard to stay away from zina. That is how Shaytan operates. She felt so guilty about her sin but at the same time, shaytan convinced her there is no point in her praying. Allah won't accept it from someone who is doing zina. which meant that she kept on falling more into this sin.

Start off with your prayers. If you find it hard to stop the music and everything, just stick to your Salaah. Do your best to do all five of your prayers on time. If you miss one, do Qadha and move on. Don't dwell on it to the extent that you then get into the mentality that you are having a 'bad' day - might as well go all the way and just begin afresh tomorrow. Instead just tell yourself, 'right, I made a mistake there but that's okay. I will try harder next time'.

Like another member on this thread commented, take baby steps. If you find it hard to stop listening to music and immediately switch to listening to Quran, maybe try listening to a nasheed with no music. If you find it hard to recite Quran for long periods of time, just download an app on your phone and recite 10 ayat a day. Or just 5. Or even 1. Just do a little bit everyday. As you stick to certain 'little' steps with regularity, you will begin experiencing the sweetness of faith again In Shaa Allah. Soon you will want to recite a little bit longer, and then a little bit more.

It might be hard to jump into watching full Islamic lectures. So instead, try to just watch those short clips on youtube that are only a couple of minutes long.

You can do it sister. The fact that you are on this forum ,feeling regret is a sure sign that Allah wants you to turn back to him In Shaa Allah. He is the one who is letting you feel that regret in your heart Ma Shaa Allah. So many sisters do exactly what you talk about and feel no regrets at all. Alhamdulillah that you are not one of them.

I hope this helps sister. You can PM me anytime too if you wish to talk further. I'm here to help In Shaa Allah.

I love you for the sake of Allah sis. I believe that you can get through this stage.

Take care of yourself dear.

Thank you very much sis. You truly made me feel better. I wish more people were like you in the world. I will start taking your advice. Mashaallah u have a pure heart and are very relatable and kind. May Allah reward you sister.

It's just that things got worse I started to do haram things. Like I feel really bad but I just keep going back to step 1 and starting over. I'm not sure why I keep doing this and I'm afraid I will go to jahhanam now. I truly wish to get hit by a train ASAP.

It's like I will be very good for a week and then all of a sudden, I'll go back to my old ways. Then the cycle starts over again. I wish I can break this cycle

I get scared because all it takes is something bad to happen to me as a wake up call and I don't want anything bad to happen.

I know I don't make sense.

I'm also scared of bad karma and punishment from Allah.
I ordered about $1000 worth or more of items and I claimed that not all my items came in. I would say only like 13% didn't come in. But the rest came in. They gave me my money back even though I basically fought them the entire time. And there were multiple orders so the first one didn't come in in all honesty, and they refund me. The second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh orders came in but I claimed each time it didn't and they refunded me every time. The last order honestly did not come in, but although it was a struggle, they refunded me as well. and some of the items were damaged but for one order I also claimed it came but all items were damage. I feel so bad and guilty. because after the fifth order I promised Allah I will not do that again. After that I did it again. Now I really will not do it again b/c I did bad job in my work/school and I feel although it is punishment because I broke my promise to Allah.

I am very scared I will lose more money in the near future because I did this. I feel so guilty. I promised Allah I understand now and will definitely keep my promise and will be honesty in my consumership

Idk why I did that

I never was like this at all.

Why am I becoming a bad person. I really want to die now very soon.
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rozyred
10-16-2017, 04:43 AM
Salam Alaikum, Dying is not a solution. If so there won't be anyone in this world. We are humans and our nature is to make mistakes. But now that you understand your mistakes try to correct yourself, this can be a great opportunity God has given you, so use it in the correct way. Allah is the Most Merciful. Only thing is you have to find out what can you do with the 13% of the money u got from that company... Because it's better you don't use that.
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MuhammadHamza1
10-16-2017, 07:00 AM
What is required is firm resolution.
What do I mean by firm resolution?
It is when you decide to do a thing,which can be done now,DO IT NOW.
Do not say "I will do it after half an hour or next day or next minute."
DO IT NOW.
What I mean is that your condition can be brought back to your blessed state,by
1}The Remembrance or Zikr of Allah.
2)-Having good company.
3)-Listening to Quran recitations.
So now that you have read my comment,
Start doing Zikr right now,at this very moment,change your company,right now.Pick up your phone,and say to those men,"No more."
And listen to the recitations right now.NO DELAY.I am saying this because I have been in a similiar situation.And this is the cure I found.Praise be to Allah.
So start doing zikr right now,at this very moment.
For Quranic recitations,you can see my posts.Also,if you continously repent even after doing sin again and again,then Allah will reward you.Why?
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Knowledge comes by learning, and patience comes by trying to be patient. Whoever seeks goodness will be given it, and whoever fears evil will be protected from it.” Narrated by al-Daaraqutni in al-Afraad; this is a hasan hadeeth, as was stated by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 2328.
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