Should foul language be justified??

[anonymous]

Salam

I recently had a disagreement with someone as I had a different point of view. After all life is about opinions and were all entitled to them however wrong or right they are. I happened to over hear a conversation and felt that the nature of th conversation was inappropriate. In hindsight I was probably wrong to have reacted the way I did but I just feel utterly helpless at the fact that while I concede I could have taken a different approach the person I told used it as an'excuse to become personal. I raised the matter with a third party and to my utter disbelief I was told I was right to be sworn at as I shouldn't have voiced my opinion. I must be missing something but I always grew up thinking foul language has no place in our society more so as Muslims foul language is utterly unacceptable. I never knew anyone could justify swearing using this logic.

[Hamza Asadullah]

Salam

I recently had a disagreement with someone as I had a different point of view. After all life is about opinions and were all entitled to them however wrong or right they are. I happened to over hear a conversation and felt that the nature of th conversation was inappropriate. In hindsight I was probably wrong to have reacted the way I did but I just feel utterly helpless at the fact that while I concede I could have taken a different approach the person I told used it as an'excuse to become personal. I raised the matter with a third party and to my utter disbelief I was told I was right to be sworn at as I shouldn't have voiced my opinion. I must be missing something but I always grew up thinking foul language has no place in our society more so as Muslims foul language is utterly unacceptable. I never knew anyone could justify swearing using this logic.

:sl:

You are absolutely right in that foul language and even arguing in a ban manner has no place in our deen. In fact we are urged to discuss and debate in the best of manner using patience, wisdom and tact. It is also disappointing that the third party also accepted that swearing was acceptable in such a situation.

The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) was not a person who insulted or cursed others. It was reported in Saheeh al-Bukhari that Anas ibn Malik (Ra) said: The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) was not a person who insulted people or used obscene language, and he did not curse people. Swearing is considered a debauchery and an immoral act.

Bukhari and Muslim reported that Ibn Masud (Ra) narrated that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: “Swearing to a Muslim is a debauchery and an immoral act, and killing a Muslim is an act of Kufr.” Such behaviour (swearing) contradicts the complete Iman of the person who does it. Imam Ahmad and Tirmizi reported that Ibn Masoud narrated that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: “A Muslim is not a person who slanders, curses, speaks obscene words or is abusive.” Bukhari also reported that Abdullah Bin Omar narrated that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: “A Muslim is a person whom all Muslims are safe from his tongue and hands.”

So firstly if any discussion is descending into an argument then we should stop there and there and not go any further in such a discussion until things have calmed down and you can discuss in a calm manner once again.

Secondly sensitive issues can bring about emotions which can descend into arguing so it is best to discuss sensitive issues carefully and calmly. If such a discussion can be avoided then it is best. If not then it must be discussed calmly or bring in neutral wise people to mediate such discussions.

And Allah knows best in all matters

[anonymous]

Thanks for your thorough response . I have come to expect this behavior from the person in question. If you dare question anything they accuse me of being suspicious and starts hurling abuse at me . for some reason individual thinks their too good too good to be worthy of holding a discussion with me. she would much rather create fitnah with her stubborn approach and play the victim when I respond in kind. It's shocking that it's deemed acceptable to swear that too to a male family member and ppl try and justify it.

[Hamza Asadullah]

Thanks for your thorough response . I have come to expect this behavior from the person in question. If you dare question anything they accuse me of being suspicious and starts hurling abuse at me . for some reason individual thinks their too good too good to be worthy of holding a discussion with me. she would much rather create fitnah with her stubborn approach and play the victim when I respond in kind. It's shocking that it's deemed acceptable to swear that too to a male family member and ppl try and justify it.

My advice was meant for general situations. We do not know the ins and outs of your situation and therefore cannot comment on "whose right or whose wrong". It maybe that there is a lot of history involved and therefore a lot of built up emotions. As stated when it comes to highly sensitive matters particularly when family are involved then things can very quickly escalate due to emotions running high.

Therefore we should always try to be the better person and be patient and forgiving and understand that the person may have a lot of built up emotions due to past historical events etc. We should also try our best to be diplomatic and not "press the right buttons" to make the other person angry or emotional. So rather than look at the other persons reaction we should look at our behaviour in response and try and calm the situation rather than exacerbate it.

I leave you with this very relevant hadith where the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said: "I guarantee a house in Jannah (Paradise) for one who gives up arguing, even if he is in the right; and I guarantee a house in the middle of Jannah for one who abandons lying even when joking / for the sake of fun; and I guarantee a house in the highest part of Jannah for one who has good manners.” [Imam Abu Dawud]