format_quote Originally Posted by
the repenter13
Ever since I was born I suffered a lot of problems. But once I was a teen it only got worse. I got severe illness after illness until I got a brain injury which led to my destruction. I now lost my faith and I think I'm about to die. Because I got hit by a severe punishment. But since I was little I had a severe social anxiety and I couldn't leave the house at all. Because of my illness I couldn't get help or even succeed in Islam at all. How could I go to hell when God gave me all these illnesses and expect me to succeed. Didn't he know I was going to fail?. Do I deserve to burn forever?. How can god be so loving and want to torture me forever?. And how is it fair that someone lives their whole life religious then at the end he ends up dying a disbeliever because of fate?.
Asalaamualaykum.
Firstly, I think that if anybody is asking for advice and claims a psychological or neurological disorder, it should be incumbent that they divulge that disorder. This would put the person replying with advice in an advantageous position to reply with more reliable advice. Simply saying that you suffered a brain injury doesn't really explain anything at all.
Secondly you entire question when looked from a macroscopic perspective is entirely paradoxical. You claim that due to this brain illness and ripple effects that led you to denouncing Islam. At the end of your entire question you are then asking the hypothesis that what if you/or a person lives a whole life that is religious and at the end becomes a disbeliever ??? From your entire testimony it seems that from the brain damage you never get the opportunity to live a religious life !!!
Thirdly - Allah SWT will judge in accordance to what he has ordained upon a person. ONLY Allah SWT has the right and knowledge to determine this in his court. In other words, you don't have that right or responsibility to SELF JUDGE. There is a fundamental difference between being self critical and self judgemental. Self Criticism is to allow change and inspire hope in a person. Self Judgement (in this case you are taking the position of Allah SWT) is in actual fact and technically Shirkh.
To put it simply - Only Allah SWT Alone will judge and punish or reward in his court.
My advice is you speak to a scholar in your area or email a scholar.