format_quote Originally Posted by
Mustafa16
Often, when I argue with my mother and i get anxious, depressed, angry, or upset, and my brother talks smack about me right in front of me to my mother, calling me a "pig" a "freak" or an "animal"
I hit myself until I get marks on my body, or cut myself with a knife, although the blades are often dull and i fear bleeding, so i just hit myself with the blade and bruise myself with it, or it hit my head against a wall, or choke myself, often with a belt. My mother doesn't care. Later, I become delusional and feel very numb, and afraid, as if i'm going to be attacked.
Recently, my panic attacks returned, but this time in the form of a flash of heat in my body, and dizziness, and feeling nauseated and sick and having a headache and stomachache.
it was at the university, and my professor was understanding enough to let me get away from class for the day.
I was about to call the ambulance because my mother was at work, my brother (who now has a driver's license, despite being 2 years younger while I don't) was at school, etc.
But then I eventually calmed down.
I've grown increasingly irritable.
I take multiple medications, including luvox, risperdal, and klonopin, as well as seroquel, and until recently, often melatonin, though i started taking it again. My doctor said not to use it because i was getting anxious when upset and overdosing on the melatonin sleeping pills.
May Allah help you in good and solve your problems, aameen.
I write the following points for your consideration:
1. If you are a college student, then you should talk to the Guidance and counselor, you must give him all details about your situation in the family.
2. Again you must try to become self-dependent and must start some work to earn. For working you need both of the body strength and mental power. While eating the psychiatry drugs, you cannot obtain these two powers. So you should stop eating drugs. Stop them by tailing off, it means that you shouldn't stop them all at once. Rather try to decrease the dose of each medicine and slowly increase time interval between them. For example: If you are eating a tablet twice a-day then make it half tablet three times a-day, for 2 days, then half tablet twice a day for three days, then half table a-day for a few days and then stop it completely. Increase the zikar of Allah and get rid of all psychiatry drugs.
3. For work, If you cannot get a good job soon, don't worry. Start a very small work, even like car-wash. Just start earning some halaal money, you will, insha-Allah, enjoy its taste and pleasure. But try to go out of the cage which encompassed you badly. Please try to break that psychological cage as soon as possible and get to a natural freedom.
4. Along with all the above, do ibaadah, and du'aa to Allah and zikar of Allah like "Laa hawla wa laa quwwata illa billah". By this zikar, a boy who was kidnapped by the mushrikeen and was made slave, got free and came back to his parents along with many goats /camels etc.