:bism: (In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)
Dearest sister:
Always remember you are valuable as a human being because Islam gave that value to every human being. Unfortunately, you met with a user and a liar and a cheat. This man does
not represent Islamic character or what Islam teaches. Islam values human beings' hearts and teaches to not break hearts.
Unfortunately, sister, like many women, you made the mistake of measuring your worth in terms of the value a man deigned to give you.
Please always remember you as a woman and a human being have independent value that
Allah (God) gave you that you do not need to ever measure your worth through any creation's fallible eyes, including this man's.
Sister, you need to love yourself, which seems to me that you still have to learn to do; otherwise, you would not keep chasing this worthless man, giving your energy and focus to this man; honestly, you should move on rather than wondering on what you should do in regards to this man. I know what I'm saying is hard to do, but I believe that will be the best course of action for you because you should strive to completely forget and blank this man from you mind. Sister, a man's character is the currency with which you should measure the worth of a man. His character was so poor and problematic from the beginning, that is, having relationships with prostitutes and watching porn and drinking alcohol and as you said making a "fool" of himself in addition to later betraying you; you should never have taken him back, sister, because hoping a man will change for your sake is always a foolish hope when he couldn't strive to make that effort on his own.
Remember, sister, first you need to love yourself as an extension of the infinite love that Allah as
Al-Wadud known as "The Loving" has given you and all creation without you ever asking; only then can you hope to attract a man in your life who will value you because you love yourself and see how infinitely valuable and precious you are as a human being and as a woman who deserves to be treated in the best way. I highly recommend that you study Islam and convert (if you find yourself inclined to do so), because despite this man's horrible treatment of you, maybe some good can out of your suffering in that you finally find God and peace in Islam and get a fresh start as a woman who will never in her life let a man use her because she sees herself as the valuable and precious human being you are and always have been.
Sincere Regards & Best Wishes,
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:bism: (In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)
Prophet Muhammad :saws:
(peace and blessings be upon him) said, "
Verily actions are by intentions, and for every person is what he intended." So, what I'm trying to communicate to you sister is that in Islam intentions matter a lot.
So, when you say you want to message this woman, do you want to do it out of (a) revenge and hatred for this man or (b) because you are sincerely concerned for this woman? If you are doing it out of latter, then of course you should feel free to message this woman; however, don't do it if you feel angry about this man's treatment of you because you are probably not going to feel any better. You are of course free to try to retrieve your money from this man, but again, try to reflect on what your intentions are: Do you hope to be able to regain the attention of this man? If so, then it would be better if you decided to make the intention to have whatever money you gave him be written as charity that you gave to him instead so that you may be rewarded on Judgment Day, as clearly this man's attention is poisonous to you and toxic to your life and well-being.
Live your best life, sister; that's the best revenge you can have on any person who does not recognize your worth as a human being.
Sincere Regards & Best Wishes,
format_quote Originally Posted by
brokensoul
I'm back again with the same issue but this time much worse.
He ended up calling me end of November crying and saying how sorry he was and wanted our relationship back. I agreed. He told me to standby while he arranged my ticket to come over to be together and get married.
I waited for him and he blocked me and won't talk to me.
My friend messaged him and he said he's now engaged.
I want back on his Facebook and I see on the 23rd of October he added an American lady as in a relationship.
He came back to me same time he is with her.
Now I'm lost what to do.
Do I message her screenshots of her conversation to alert her to his lies and cheating or let it go?
I located his brother on Facebook, is it acceptable for me to message the brother, to tell him what happened and to see if I can get my money back that this man borrowed from me?
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End of October sorry he contacted not November