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MiracleSurvivor
11-25-2017, 11:12 PM
It is well Known that majority of men would like to have multiple wives and that would be their ultimate happiness.

what about women?

What makes women happy?

in jannah there are no wrong doing or injustice, but what is women’s ultimate happiness?
Reply

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sister herb
11-25-2017, 11:21 PM
I am not sure if majority of men really want multiple wives as many of them have more than enough to do with one. Plus then they will get also multiple mother-in-laws.
Reply

Karl
11-26-2017, 01:26 AM
Most females are hard wired for reproduction, so a compatible mate must provide security and stability.
Reply

sister herb
11-26-2017, 10:34 AM
In general both men and women want same things: balanced life, security, ability to fulfill the basic needs as well the personal interests. Like to many it´s to find some meaningful work what secures livelihood for you and your family (it also can be a homework) and gives you a feeling that your work is important to you and the others.

In personal levels, details may vary a lot.
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adyiqbal
12-01-2017, 03:35 PM
A woman needs respect and love from a man. In our society these both things are less.
Reply

Supernova
12-01-2017, 04:22 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by sister herb
I am not sure if majority of men really want multiple wives as many of them have more than enough to do with one. Plus then they will get also multiple mother-in-laws.
Thats exactly why you need to marry someone whos mother already passed away
Reply

Noobzz
12-01-2017, 04:27 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Karl
Most females are hard wired for reproduction, so a compatible mate must provide security and stability.
thats the first i'm hearing about it in 2017 ....
Reply

*charisma*
12-01-2017, 06:15 PM
What women want:

pretty flowy dresses
to look pretty in our pretty flowy dresses
lifetime access to salty and sweet foods
a gym membership to which we will never visit
spa membership..nay, our own private spa
a private jet
a house that cleans itself, yes that's right, NOT a maid.. cuz Allah knows we'll still be cleaning the house before the maid arrives
to never age

...what else am I missing?
Reply

sister herb
12-01-2017, 06:22 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by *charisma*
...what else am I missing?
A diet what works but allows us to eat chocolate and burgers with double cheese.
Reply

Supernova
12-01-2017, 07:30 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by *charisma*
What women want:

pretty flowy dresses
to look pretty in our pretty flowy dresses
lifetime access to salty and sweet foods
a gym membership to which we will never visit
spa membership..nay, our own private spa
a private jet
a house that cleans itself, yes that's right, NOT a maid.. cuz Allah knows we'll still be cleaning the house before the maid arrives
to never age

...what else am I missing?
The MAGIC X DIET .......The one where you eat whatever you want and yet don't gain weight.
Reply

*charisma*
12-01-2017, 07:38 PM
So i guess weve cracked the mystery!

...until we change our mind ;D
Reply

Mustafa16
12-02-2017, 12:30 AM
In my circle of the woods none want husbands or even have an idea of what a husband is , that's for sure.
Reply

fromelsewhere
12-03-2017, 09:05 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by MiracleSurvivor
It is well Known that majority of men would like to have multiple wives and that would be their ultimate happiness.

what about women?

What makes women happy?

in jannah there are no wrong doing or injustice, but what is women’s ultimate happiness?
How about multiple husbands?

(I am not a woman so I wouldn't know but perhaps some ladies would like to comment?)
Reply

Nightstart
12-03-2017, 10:13 PM
What money and diamonds can't buy...:shade:Sun shine and private beach so I can swim as I please. Of course he has tawqa and good akhlaq.
Reply

waji
12-04-2017, 05:56 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by *charisma*
What women want:

pretty flowy dresses
to look pretty in our pretty flowy dresses
lifetime access to salty and sweet foods
a gym membership to which we will never visit
spa membership..nay, our own private spa
a private jet
a house that cleans itself, yes that's right, NOT a maid.. cuz Allah knows we'll still be cleaning the house before the maid arrives
to never age

...what else am I missing?
The unique Dress for occasion (or for every other occasion:shade:)
Reply

cinnamonrolls1
02-11-2018, 02:49 PM
Like sister herb said, similar things for both genders. However in terms of smaller details i think it depends on the individual
Reply

cinnamonrolls1
02-11-2018, 02:50 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Karl
Most females are hard wired for reproduction, so a compatible mate must provide security and stability.
Ah yes lets just reduce women down to reproductive purposes. There are plenty of women who dont want kids and plenty of women who are unable to have children as well.
Reply

sister herb
02-11-2018, 02:56 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by cinnamonrolls1
Ah yes lets just reduce women down to reproductive purposes. There are plenty of women who dont want kids and plenty of women who are unable to have children as well.
And plenty of men too. The optimal situation would to be that just those kind of men and women would meet themselves in the marriage.
Reply

cinnamonrolls1
02-11-2018, 02:58 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by sister herb
And plenty of men too. The optimal situation would to be that just those kind of men and women would meet themselves in the marriage.
That is a feasible option, however it depends on the individual- are you comfortable with not being able to have kids naturally or not even at all?
Reply

adyiqbal
02-13-2018, 10:03 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Mustafa16
In my circle of the woods none want husbands or even have an idea of what a husband is , that's for sure.
What do you mean????
Reply

cinnamonrolls1
02-13-2018, 12:06 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by adyiqbal
What do you mean????
There must surely be some women who want to get married?!
Reply

Mustafa16
02-13-2018, 12:23 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by adyiqbal
What do you mean????
boys talk about how much they want girls......when i say hi to girls, they either run away, ignore me, or treat me rudely as a a gang. or just plain old walk away. or act all overprotective of each other. i try contacting them on social media, they block me, yet they follow other boys, and one of them (a 15 year old, im 18) even dated a chinese boy. (probably not a convert). yet she runs away whenever i try talking to her, and talks behind my back about how "creepy" i am. bear in mind I have autism and severe anxiety.
Reply

Mustafa16
02-13-2018, 04:40 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by cinnamonrolls1
There must surely be some women who want to get married?!
my mother speaks of her 26 and 27 year old friends who complain that no men ask to court them for marriage, but it seems like girls my age (ages 15-19) don't care one bit about the opposite sex while boys are the ones who struggle with......certain sins I can not mention......for fear my post will be regarded as immodest......as well as the temptation of dating and free mixing......basically, men have greater romantic and sexual desire. in fact i wouldn't be surprised if women had NO sexual desire
Reply

azc
02-13-2018, 05:50 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by sister herb
And plenty of men too. The optimal situation would to be that just those kind of men and women would meet themselves in the marriage.
but married life without kids is quite dull
Reply

sister herb
02-13-2018, 05:52 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by azc
but married life without kids is quite dull
To some it is, to some it isn´t. People are different.
Reply

cinnamonrolls1
02-13-2018, 05:55 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by azc
but married life without kids is quite dull
Really? To some it may be to some it wont. I know a couple who dont have kids and seem very happy together

format_quote Originally Posted by Mustafa16
boys talk about how much they want girls......when i say hi to girls, they either run away, ignore me, or treat me rudely as a a gang. or just plain old walk away. or act all overprotective of each other. i try contacting them on social media, they block me, yet they follow other boys, and one of them (a 15 year old, im 18) even dated a chinese boy. (probably not a convert). yet she runs away whenever i try talking to her, and talks behind my back about how "creepy" i am. bear in mind I have autism and severe anxiety.
Oh brother, im sorry for you being treated like that! You're not creepy by the way. However, i think a girl of 15 years old is a bit young to consider marriage( unless yall were talking abt getting married later on) just have sabr akhi.

format_quote Originally Posted by Mustafa16
boys talk about how much they want girls......when i say hi to girls, they either run away, ignore me, or treat me rudely as a a gang. or just plain old walk away. or act all overprotective of each other. i try contacting them on social media, they block me, yet they follow other boys, and one of them (a 15 year old, im 18) even dated a chinese boy. (probably not a convert). yet she runs away whenever i try talking to her, and talks behind my back about how "creepy" i am. bear in mind I have autism and severe anxiety.
I also have anxiety so i can relate to that part- maybe try online?( eg a muslim site kinda thing)
Reply

azc
02-13-2018, 06:08 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by sister herb
To some it is, to some it isn´t. People are different.
may be but I've seen the couple crying for not having kids.
Yes, people are different
Reply

cinnamonrolls1
02-13-2018, 06:09 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by azc
may be but I've seen the couple crying for not having kids.
Yes, people are different
Of course ya, it depends on the couple
Reply

azc
02-13-2018, 06:14 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by sister herb
And plenty of men too. The optimal situation would to be that just those kind of men and women would meet themselves in the marriage.
format_quote Originally Posted by sister herb
To some it is, to some it isn´t. People are different.
format_quote Originally Posted by cinnamonrolls1
Really? To some it may be to some it wont. I know a couple who dont have kids and seem very happy together
format_quote Originally Posted by cinnamonrolls1
Of course ya, it depends on the couple
and from Islamic point view kids are ne3mah of Allah swt
Reply

Mahir Adnan
02-13-2018, 06:20 PM
what to say..... I am unmarried :cry: at least, let me marry once. I will think about polygamy later
Reply

sister herb
02-13-2018, 06:23 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Mahir Adnan
what to say..... I am unmarried :cry: at least, let me marry once. I will think about polygamy later
May Allah gives you a pious wife.

And that´s a good idea - start with one. Also remember, when thinking the polygamy, there might be some other man who hasn´t even the first one yet.
Reply

cinnamonrolls1
02-13-2018, 06:34 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Mahir Adnan
what to say..... I am unmarried :cry: at least, let me marry once. I will think about polygamy later
Yeah rhats a good idea... Maybe leave the polygamy for now
Reply

azc
02-13-2018, 06:37 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Mahir Adnan
what to say..... I am unmarried :cry: at least, let me marry once. I will think about polygamy later
For a happy married life one wife is enough
Reply

Mustafa16
02-13-2018, 08:11 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by cinnamonrolls1
Oh brother, im sorry for you being treated like that! You're not creepy by the way. However, i think a girl of 15 years old is a bit young to consider marriage( unless yall were talking abt getting married later on) just have sabr akhi.
thank you :)

format_quote Originally Posted by cinnamonrolls1
I also have anxiety so i can relate to that part- maybe try online?( eg a muslim site kinda thing)
oh, im not looking to get married yet.......i was just commenting on how i got treated by girls i tried talking to who were of my jamaat, and how it seemed like they were superhuman for not ever talking about boys.

format_quote Originally Posted by cinnamonrolls1
I also have anxiety so i can relate to that part- maybe try online?( eg a muslim site kinda thing)
and btw, im only 18, and not quite mature enough to get married, among other reasons, and dont have a career, or a job, so im waiting to get married, and just commenting on how boys seem to care about girls but girls dont care about boys (me and other boys in our jamaat have gossiped/confessed about girls we liked)
Reply

ChosenTCO
02-13-2018, 08:16 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Mustafa16
my mother speaks of her 26 and 27 year old friends who complain that no men ask to court them for marriage, but it seems like girls my age (ages 15-19) don't care one bit about the opposite sex while boys are the ones who struggle with......certain sins I can not mention......for fear my post will be regarded as immodest......as well as the temptation of dating and free mixing......basically, men have greater romantic and sexual desire. in fact i wouldn't be surprised if women had NO sexual desire
The thing is, its not a problem with the women of our generation. its a problem with the culture of today and how it affects the thinking of most women. The women of today are being pushed towards the, so called "independent women". This is because women have grown a resentment towards needing to depend on men for financial support and being under his mercy for most of the things (to be honest, that kind of the faults of are male ancestors who used to oppress women, up untill islam came and taught us whats right but a lot of us still dont abide by those teachings). Now the women of today would rather be independent. Part of them dont want to depend on men for anything but at the same time they dont want men to depend on them. They would like to be privileged without consequence.

Note: This is probably why she rejected you. When u start to show her a needy attitude and desire for her, she feels like u will be more of a leech on her and a burden than a good investment. Thats why most girls go for the "bad boy" type of guys ... because they think that they are so independent and strong, no emotional needs and stable. They(girls) seek the thrill of being the ones to actually change them and soften their hearts, but the truth is that most bad boys are actually using them for their pleasure and dont give a damn about these young girls. So dont be discouraged as these types of women are immature and wont be of any benefit to you.
You see this happening with the western women, where one would start working and provide for herself, yet still search for a male partner that would spend on her and provide for her. Why? because her nature is to want to be sheltered by a man and provided for, while her conscious mind tells her not to depend on anyone and have her own financial backup to support her if she ever loses her male provider. You also see them trying to find the next best provider, hopping from one relationship to the other, having to settle with abusers and druggies so long as they are better than their previous male providers. And at the end of the day, you see them ending up single for life with 3 to 4 kids ... a single mom for life (or in some cases, ending up being a crazy cat lady). All because she was too focused on the wrong status of men (their wealth and worldly success), instead of the things that truly make a man a real one (not being afraid of commitment, being a man to your word, respecting women, not being afraid to owning up your mistakes ... all these things).

In essence, these symptoms that your observing in women are not because of what you think, they are because of something else. Your wrong to assume that they dont have sexual desires ... They actually do feel those things and much more than men. The thing is that women have shyness much more than men thats why they dont show easily. But the badboys are able to break through that because they have no decency and encourage women to let go of their modesty while most religious men feel shy themselves like women. Add to that, the effects of media and how they portray husbands and real men as fools and naive idiots who dont know know how to please women because they cant tap into their darker side of pleasure. That is why most of the girls and young women tend to choose badboys over real men unfortunately. The best place to look for a real woman with proper values are in arab countries where all this Fasaad hasnt spread. but dont be fooled though, just because your looking in the arab region doesnt mean you will find them all good ... some of them are worse than those women in the west or even worse (a double faced women who act as modest in the beginning and then veils their ugly personality after uve married them) ... thats why its extremely important to background check the woman plan to marry and likewise for women too). Hope this makes sense cause im posting this in a rush ...

- - - Updated - - -

format_quote Originally Posted by Mustafa16
my mother speaks of her 26 and 27 year old friends who complain that no men ask to court them for marriage, but it seems like girls my age (ages 15-19) don't care one bit about the opposite sex while boys are the ones who struggle with......certain sins I can not mention......for fear my post will be regarded as immodest......as well as the temptation of dating and free mixing......basically, men have greater romantic and sexual desire. in fact i wouldn't be surprised if women had NO sexual desire
The thing is, its not a problem with the women of our generation. its a problem with the culture of today and how it affects the thinking of most women. The women of today are being pushed towards the, so called "independent women". This is because women have grown a resentment towards needing to depend on men for financial support and being under his mercy for most of the things (to be honest, that kind of the faults of are male ancestors who used to oppress women, up untill islam came and taught us whats right but a lot of us still dont abide by those teachings). Now the women of today would rather be independent. Part of them dont want to depend on men for anything but at the same time they dont want men to depend on them. They would like to be privileged without consequence.
Note: This is probably why she rejected you. When u start to show her a needy attitude and desire for her, she feels like u will be more of a leech on her and a burden than a good investment. Thats why most girls go for the "bad boy" type of guys ... because they think that they are so independent and strong, no emotional needs and stable. They(girls) seek the thrill of being the ones to actually change them and soften their hearts, but the truth is that most bad boys are actually using them for their pleasure and dont give a damn about these young girls. So dont be discouraged as these types of women are immature and wont be of any benefit to you.
You see this happening with the western women, where one would start working and provide for herself, yet still search for a male partner that would spend on her and provide for her. Why? because her nature is to want to be sheltered by a man and provided for, while her conscious mind tells her not to depend on anyone and have her own financial backup to support her if she ever loses her male provider. You also see them trying to find the next best provider, hopping from one relationship to the other, having to settle with abusers and druggies so long as they are better than their previous male providers. And at the end of the day, you see them ending up single for life with 3 to 4 kids ... a single mom for life (or in some cases, ending up being a crazy cat lady). All because she was too focused on the wrong status of men (their wealth and worldly success), instead of the things that truly make a man a real one (not being afraid of commitment, being a man to your word, respecting women, not being afraid to owning up your mistakes ... all these things).

In essence, these symptoms that your observing in women are not because of what you think, they are because of something else. Your wrong to assume that they dont have sexual desires ... They actually do feel those things and much more than men. The thing is that women have shyness much more than men thats why they dont show easily. But the badboys are able to break through that because they have no decency and encourage women to let go of their modesty while most religious men feel shy themselves like women. Add to that, the effects of media and how they portray husbands and real men as fools and naive idiots who dont know know how to please women because they cant tap into their darker side of pleasure. That is why most of the girls and young women tend to choose badboys over real men unfortunately. The best place to look for a real woman with proper values are in arab countries where all this Fasaad hasnt spread. but dont be fooled though, just because your looking in the arab region doesnt mean you will find them all good ... some of them are worse than those women in the west or even worse (a double faced women who act as modest in the beginning and then veils their ugly personality after uve married them) ... thats why its extremely important to background check the woman plan to marry and likewise for women too). Hope this makes sense cause im posting this in a rush ...
Reply

Mustafa16
02-13-2018, 08:29 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ChosenTCO
The thing is, its not a problem with the women of our generation. its a problem with the culture of today and how it affects the thinking of most women. The women of today are being pushed towards the, so called "independent women". This is because women have grown a resentment towards needing to depend on men for financial support and being under his mercy for most of the things (to be honest, that kind of the faults of are male ancestors who used to oppress women, up untill islam came and taught us whats right but a lot of us still dont abide by those teachings). Now the women of today would rather be independent. Part of them dont want to depend on men for anything but at the same time they dont want men to depend on them. They would like to be privileged without consequence.
Note: This is probably why she rejected you. When u start to show her a needy attitude and desire for her, she feels like u will be more of a leech on her and a burden than a good investment. Thats why most girls go for the "bad boy" type of guys ... because they think that they are so independent and strong, no emotional needs and stable. They(girls) seek the thrill of being the ones to actually change them and soften their hearts, but the truth is that most bad boys are actually using them for their pleasure and dont give a damn about these young girls. So dont be discouraged as these types of women are immature and wont be of any benefit to you.
You see this happening with the western women, where one would start working and provide for herself, yet still search for a male partner that would spend on her and provide for her. Why? because her nature is to want to be sheltered by a man and provided for, while her conscious mind tells her not to depend on anyone and have her own financial backup to support her if she ever loses her male provider. You also see them trying to find the next best provider, hopping from one relationship to the other, having to settle with abusers and druggies so long as they are better than their previous male providers. And at the end of the day, you see them ending up single for life with 3 to 4 kids ... a single mom for life (or in some cases, ending up being a crazy cat lady). All because she was too focused on the wrong status of men (their wealth and worldly success), instead of the things that truly make a man a real one (not being afraid of commitment, being a man to your word, respecting women, not being afraid to owning up your mistakes ... all these things).

In essence, these symptoms that your observing in women are not because of what you think, they are because of something else. Your wrong to assume that they dont have sexual desires ... They actually do feel those things and much more than men. The thing is that women have shyness much more than men thats why they dont show easily. But the badboys are able to break through that because they have no decency and encourage women to let go of their modesty while most religious men feel shy themselves like women. Add to that, the effects of media and how they portray husbands and real men as fools and naive idiots who dont know know how to please women because they cant tap into their darker side of pleasure. That is why most of the girls and young women tend to choose badboys over real men unfortunately. The best place to look for a real woman with proper values are in arab countries where all this Fasaad hasnt spread. but dont be fooled though, just because your looking in the arab region doesnt mean you will find them all good ... some of them are worse than those women in the west or even worse (a double faced women who act as modest in the beginning and then veils their ugly personality after uve married them) ... thats why its extremely important to background check the woman plan to marry and likewise for women too). Hope this makes sense cause im posting this in a rush ...

- - - Updated - - -



The thing is, its not a problem with the women of our generation. its a problem with the culture of today and how it affects the thinking of most women. The women of today are being pushed towards the, so called "independent women". This is because women have grown a resentment towards needing to depend on men for financial support and being under his mercy for most of the things (to be honest, that kind of the faults of are male ancestors who used to oppress women, up untill islam came and taught us whats right but a lot of us still dont abide by those teachings). Now the women of today would rather be independent. Part of them dont want to depend on men for anything but at the same time they dont want men to depend on them. They would like to be privileged without consequence.
Note: This is probably why she rejected you. When u start to show her a needy attitude and desire for her, she feels like u will be more of a leech on her and a burden than a good investment. Thats why most girls go for the "bad boy" type of guys ... because they think that they are so independent and strong, no emotional needs and stable. They(girls) seek the thrill of being the ones to actually change them and soften their hearts, but the truth is that most bad boys are actually using them for their pleasure and dont give a damn about these young girls. So dont be discouraged as these types of women are immature and wont be of any benefit to you.
You see this happening with the western women, where one would start working and provide for herself, yet still search for a male partner that would spend on her and provide for her. Why? because her nature is to want to be sheltered by a man and provided for, while her conscious mind tells her not to depend on anyone and have her own financial backup to support her if she ever loses her male provider. You also see them trying to find the next best provider, hopping from one relationship to the other, having to settle with abusers and druggies so long as they are better than their previous male providers. And at the end of the day, you see them ending up single for life with 3 to 4 kids ... a single mom for life (or in some cases, ending up being a crazy cat lady). All because she was too focused on the wrong status of men (their wealth and worldly success), instead of the things that truly make a man a real one (not being afraid of commitment, being a man to your word, respecting women, not being afraid to owning up your mistakes ... all these things).

In essence, these symptoms that your observing in women are not because of what you think, they are because of something else. Your wrong to assume that they dont have sexual desires ... They actually do feel those things and much more than men. The thing is that women have shyness much more than men thats why they dont show easily. But the badboys are able to break through that because they have no decency and encourage women to let go of their modesty while most religious men feel shy themselves like women. Add to that, the effects of media and how they portray husbands and real men as fools and naive idiots who dont know know how to please women because they cant tap into their darker side of pleasure. That is why most of the girls and young women tend to choose badboys over real men unfortunately. The best place to look for a real woman with proper values are in arab countries where all this Fasaad hasnt spread. but dont be fooled though, just because your looking in the arab region doesnt mean you will find them all good ... some of them are worse than those women in the west or even worse (a double faced women who act as modest in the beginning and then veils their ugly personality after uve married them) ... thats why its extremely important to background check the woman plan to marry and likewise for women too). Hope this makes sense cause im posting this in a rush ...
some of the refugee women from Turkey in our jamaat may be like the Arab women you described as well......I want to marry a Gulenist or perhaps another faction of Nurju.....Or perhaps I should wait until they are older? Or perhaps go for the Arab women in the jamaat, even though there aren't that many? idk, im not that independent, i have disabilities.......and i cant drive at the moment. my neurotic mother has been refusing to get me driving lessons because she's been spending all her money on my cousin's family in Turkey (my cousin was in the army during the coup and got arrested, but claims innocence), and my uncle's family (my uncle was a traffic cop, and he has bowel problems, and is in jail), and my grandparents (my grandfather is sick, also), and because of stubbornness (hence the neurotic part) because I missed some college lectures (I live with her).
Also, I find that the older young ladies in my faction of nurculuk, tend to be much more mature, but they tend to get married off at around the age that they'll be before I get my bachelor's degree and career. Perhaps I should find someone who isn't so lucky, like the women my mother mentioned.
Reply

cinnamonrolls1
02-13-2018, 08:30 PM
I think today( and speaking as a young person) a lot of feminism is driven by the "if -a -man can- do -this- why-cant -i" attitude.
I find it stupid .They are literally measuring their success by the parameter of a man doing things; they want to do these things quite simply because a man is doing them: in short basing their worth on whether or not they can do what a dude is doing. I fail to see how that's empowering in any way tbh. Why are we basing our liberation on whether or not we're doing certain activities that are done by men. If you're to reduce it down, you're basing your self worth and liberation on men, something which feminism is pretty much against?

Sorry for that confusing post but i had to ranr

Dont get me wrong the concept of feminism is great but it hasnt achieved a lot in modern times.
Reply

ChosenTCO
02-13-2018, 09:08 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by cinnamonrolls1
I think today( and speaking as a young person) a lot of feminism is driven by the "if -a -man can- do -this- why-cant -i" attitude.
I find it stupid .They are literally measuring their success by the parameter of a man doing things; they want to do these things quite simply because a man is doing them: in short basing their worth on whether or not they can do what a dude is doing. I fail to see how that's empowering in any way tbh. Why are we basing our liberation on whether or not we're doing certain activities that are done by men. If you're to reduce it down, you're basing your self worth and liberation on men, something which feminism is pretty much against?
I totally agree with that. females should embraces their femininity and men should embrace their masculinity. Its so sad to see how women in the west are obsessed being independent and masculine ... not just that, they even have the concept of masculinity wrong too. they are so worked up about being equal they went so overboard that they are the ones who are actually oppressing men with their misandry ... Look at all these new groups and cults that are blooming due to this cancer that is called 3rd wave feminism. MRAs, MGTOWs, herbivore men in japan, neomasculines ... all of these groups have either abandoned the concept of family or have lost complete respect for women and treat them like absolute trash. All of because of that false narrative that women should not depend on men.

NO! women should depend on men just like men should depend on women. Its noting to be ashamed of and nothing to be shy about. Its what makes us human, Its what makes us feel for one another, have love and mercy for one another. Its what grounds us and makes us more accepting to one another. How will we develop feelings for one another if we are all independent and dont need each other, we would just look down on each other and ignore all those around us. how sick such a world would be if that truly happened ... unfortunately though this is the road that the world is on right now

May Allah protect us from all the fitna and fasaad of this dunya. Ameen
Reply

cinnamonrolls1
02-13-2018, 09:10 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ChosenTCO
I totally agree with that. females should embraces their femininity and men should embrace their masculinity. Its so sad to see how women in the west are obsessed being independent and masculine ... not just that, they even have the concept of masculinity wrong too. they are so worked up about being equal they went so overboard that they are the ones who are actually oppressing men with their misandry ... Look at all these new groups and cults that are blooming due to this cancer that is called 3rd wave feminism. MRAs, MGTOWs, herbivore men in japan, neomasculines ... all of these groups have either abandoned the concept of family or have lost complete respect for women and treat them like absolute trash. All of because of that false narrative that women should not depend on men.

NO! women should depend on men just like men should depend on women. Its noting to be ashamed of and nothing to be shy about. Its what makes us human, Its what makes us feel for one another, have love and mercy for one another. Its what grounds us and makes us more accepting to one another. How will we develop feelings for one another if we are all independent and dont need each other, we would just look down on each other and ignore all those around us. how sick such a world would be if that truly happened ... unfortunately though this is the road that the world is on right now

May Allah protect us from all the fitna and fasaad of this dunya. Ameen
Ah well. Nothing much we can do i'm afraid

I think as women we shouldnt measure our worth by men but i do think we should work together if that makes sense? And vice versa ofc

format_quote Originally Posted by ChosenTCO
I totally agree with that. females should embraces their femininity and men should embrace their masculinity. Its so sad to see how women in the west are obsessed being independent and masculine ... not just that, they even have the concept of masculinity wrong too. they are so worked up about being equal they went so overboard that they are the ones who are actually oppressing men with their misandry ... Look at all these new groups and cults that are blooming due to this cancer that is called 3rd wave feminism. MRAs, MGTOWs, herbivore men in japan, neomasculines ... all of these groups have either abandoned the concept of family or have lost complete respect for women and treat them like absolute trash. All of because of that false narrative that women should not depend on men.

NO! women should depend on men just like men should depend on women. Its noting to be ashamed of and nothing to be shy about. Its what makes us human, Its what makes us feel for one another, have love and mercy for one another. Its what grounds us and makes us more accepting to one another. How will we develop feelings for one another if we are all independent and dont need each other, we would just look down on each other and ignore all those around us. how sick such a world would be if that truly happened ... unfortunately though this is the road that the world is on right now

May Allah protect us from all the fitna and fasaad of this dunya. Ameen
True though! Modern day femisim is driving wedges between us today in my opinion which isnt good at all
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Grandad
02-13-2018, 09:34 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by sister herb
I am not sure if majority of men really want multiple wives as many of them have more than enough to do with one. Plus then they will get also multiple mother-in-laws.
'I can always tell when my mother-in-law is planning a visit. The mice throw themselves onto the traps.' (Les Dawson).
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A786
02-14-2018, 01:20 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by MiracleSurvivor
It is well Known that majority of men would like to have multiple wives and that would be their ultimate happiness.

what about women?

What makes women happy?

in jannah there are no wrong doing or injustice, but what is women’s ultimate happiness?

I don't think majority of men want multiple wives, but the again I'm not expert on men and so aren't men themselves. Everybody has their own desires.

Speaking from a woman's point of view, woman want respect and stability.
Reply

cinnamonrolls1
02-14-2018, 08:15 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Mustafa16
thank you :)

oh, im not looking to get married yet.......i was just commenting on how i got treated by girls i tried talking to who were of my jamaat, and how it seemed like they were superhuman for not ever talking about boys.


and btw, im only 18, and not quite mature enough to get married, among other reasons, and dont have a career, or a job, so im waiting to get married, and just commenting on how boys seem to care about girls but girls dont care about boys (me and other boys in our jamaat have gossiped/confessed about girls we liked)
Hahaha no girls do talk abt boys... In private tho!! I mean it would be embarassing if someone heard right? Or if the guy in question heard.
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cinnamonrolls1
02-14-2018, 08:16 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Mustafa16
some of the refugee women from Turkey in our jamaat may be like the Arab women you described as well......I want to marry a Gulenist or perhaps another faction of Nurju.....Or perhaps I should wait until they are older? Or perhaps go for the Arab women in the jamaat, even though there aren't that many? idk, im not that independent, i have disabilities.......and i cant drive at the moment. my neurotic mother has been refusing to get me driving lessons because she's been spending all her money on my cousin's family in Turkey (my cousin was in the army during the coup and got arrested, but claims innocence), and my uncle's family (my uncle was a traffic cop, and he has bowel problems, and is in jail), and my grandparents (my grandfather is sick, also), and because of stubbornness (hence the neurotic part) because I missed some college lectures (I live with her).
Also, I find that the older young ladies in my faction of nurculuk, tend to be much more mature, but they tend to get married off at around the age that they'll be before I get my bachelor's degree and career. Perhaps I should find someone who isn't so lucky, like the women my mother mentioned.
Whats nurculuk?
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Mahir Adnan
02-14-2018, 11:47 AM
yeah,one wife is of enough stress. ;D
Reply

Mustafa16
02-14-2018, 12:47 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by cinnamonrolls1
Whats nurculuk?
also known as the Nur movement, it is based off the teachings of Ustadh Shaykh Said Nursi (rh), a Kurdish Turkish shaykh also known as Bediuzzaman Said Nursi (rh), you can read about him here http://questionsonislam.com/article/...man-said-nursi it mentions how he was persecuted by the ataturkists here: http://questionsonislam.com/question...about-his-life
a video about his biography by a saudi sheikh here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dypb5_UqGF0
a wikipedia article here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Said_Nurs%C3%AE he wrote the risale i nur, a collection or religious texts which were a commentary on the Qur'an and matters of imaan.
an english speaking app with much of the collection if available on the google play store if you have a smartphone, as an app.
the site questionsonislam.com is based on his works
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Mustafa16
02-14-2018, 12:47 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by cinnamonrolls1
Hahaha no girls do talk abt boys... In private tho!! I mean it would be embarassing if someone heard right? Or if the guy in question heard.
good to know. although girls are probably only talking bad about me.
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cinnamonrolls1
02-15-2018, 03:54 PM
Sidenote here-i believe that men are slowly losing their masculinity- and im not talking abt showing emotions and all that- thats good, i believe men need to be more open and we need to address this stigma, but i do think that men are slowly losing their masculinity.
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00001001
02-16-2018, 09:49 PM
All women, like men, are bound to biology. If you trully want to learn how to make women "feel" or what exactly goes on in their minds, then dive a bit in human biology, psychology, sociology and maybe a bit of anthropology.

Fair warning though, you maybe don't want to know.
Just like women don't like it that men essentially want a harem, you most likely won't like what women ultimately want. You've been warned.
Reply

cinnamonrolls1
02-16-2018, 10:17 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by 00001001
All women, like men, are bound to biology. If you trully want to learn how to make women "feel" or what exactly goes on in their minds, then dive a bit in human biology, psychology, sociology and maybe a bit of anthropology.

Fair warning though, you maybe don't want to know.
Just like women don't like it that men essentially want a harem, you most likely won't like what women ultimately want. You've been warned.
Where did you learn all this? Not doubting but just a bit... Apathetic?

Sent from my [device_name] using IslamicBoard mobile app
Reply

00001001
02-17-2018, 12:42 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by cinnamonrolls1
Where did you learn all this? Not doubting but just a bit... Apathetic?

Sent from my [device_name] using IslamicBoard mobile app

Books, wikipedia, but most importantly, data from dating website's about how their users behave on the network. https://theblog.okcupid.com/your-looks-and-your-inbox-8715c0f1561e

Sure, pretty apathetic, but that because I can't change it, only use it to my advantage.
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adyiqbal
02-19-2018, 09:25 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Mustafa16
boys talk about how much they want girls......when i say hi to girls, they either run away, ignore me, or treat me rudely as a a gang. or just plain old walk away. or act all overprotective of each other. i try contacting them on social media, they block me, yet they follow other boys, and one of them (a 15 year old, im 18) even dated a chinese boy. (probably not a convert). yet she runs away whenever i try talking to her, and talks behind my back about how "creepy" i am. bear in mind I have autism and severe anxiety.
Oh its really sad. But, you should focus on your study and make your career. One day girls will catch you. Because girls never choose six pack over the six cars :)
Reply

ammargroup
02-20-2018, 07:11 AM
​i think nothing to do happy woman in the universe thank you
Reply

tia
09-11-2018, 08:29 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by MiracleSurvivor
It is well Known that majority of men would like to have multiple wives and that would be their ultimate happiness.

what about women?

What makes women happy?

in jannah there are no wrong doing or injustice, but what is women’s ultimate happiness?
Assalamualaikum,
Honestly if you ask me, as a woman I would want the same. To have multiple husbands and live with them happily. But our religion does not allow that and I understand why. It's okay. I know there's a place for me in Jannah.
Reply

xboxisdead
09-11-2018, 09:49 PM
Remember men are stupid and women are smarter than men. So what part of masculinity do I want to respect and love? Can someone tell me that? I think man should abandon masculinity because it is not help them in any shape or form. Nowadays masculinity is dangerous for him or me. I prefer that women do go outside and work and bring money into the house, I will take care of the children and take care of the house. Plus I think I lost complete attraction to the opposite sex and I do not mind it a single bit ;D;D;D I think it is empowering not needing women or marrying a woman or having any relationship with a woman period! Talk to about freedom and empowerment! ;D;D;D:D:D

My best advice for sisters is that they go IVF, sperm bank or maybe the new invention where lesbian women can have babies without a man (I think when women have control over her sexual reproduction without a man, a man should also have the choice and option to have his sexual reproduction without a woman. This is the ultimate empowerment for a man. To be able to have children without needing a woman and raising them on his own. However, there have been scientific study that shows fathers raising children alone do better than women raising children alone. So that part of masculinity attribute I want to keep and save and if it means I lack in intellect but be better parent and raise better and happier civilization then I am ok with not having that much IQ points and doing great at school, university or getting honor degrees and bachelor degree. IN the end human beings are more than just brain power. His heart, his soul, how he raise good people all these to me are more valuable than having a memory of an elephant and keep on talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and doing superb at school and been organized and well written and reading skill. So in there I want to preserve masculinity and fight for it! I am more than happy to be useful and needed for a parent than for any power, wealth, status or even husband role. I do not care much for been a husband, I really care much for been a parent :D). There are group of women who would love to have baby girls only and love an amazonian female only society, there are choices for sisters. Pick which makes you happy!! ;D;D;D But I swear if dajjal does show up...I will not risk my life for any women out there (except for my mom) and some other man's mom is not my problem. I am saving my skin.

- - - Updated - - -

format_quote Originally Posted by tia
Assalamualaikum,
Honestly if you ask me, as a woman I would want the same. To have multiple husbands and live with them happily. But our religion does not allow that and I understand why. It's okay. I know there's a place for me in Jannah.
You know in Africa they do that. A woman can have multiple husbands and she can have children from multiple husbands. Of course there is no lineage there and it is no different than just a man having multiple women and women having multiple men, marriage at that point is pointless and redundant.
Reply

سيف الله
09-11-2018, 10:59 PM
Salaam

format_quote Originally Posted by xboxisdead
Remember men are stupid and women are smarter than men. So what part of masculinity do I want to respect and love? Can someone tell me that? I think man should abandon masculinity because it is not help them in any shape or form. Nowadays masculinity is dangerous for him or me. I prefer that women do go outside and work and bring money into the house, I will take care of the children and take care of the house. Plus I think I lost complete attraction to the opposite sex and I do not mind it a single bit ;D;D;D I think it is empowering not needing women or marrying a woman or having any relationship with a woman period! Talk to about freedom and empowerment! ;D;D;D:D:D

etc etc etc ad infinitum. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Oh dear, that's some rant bro Xbox, my response.



Come on Xbox lay off be more positive.
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