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Jannatulferdaus
02-28-2018, 10:30 PM
Dear brothers and sisters,


I'm 17 years old, I went to my home country for a year because my parents wanted me to forget about my ex who I was with on and off for around 5 years, he's my cousin.I understand now that it was a teenage crush. But going to my home country has made me fall in love with my other cousin. I did not have any feelings towards him at first because I was too obsessed with my first love. But after a while, I realised that I started having feelings for him. We started a relationship, he is very religious as is his family. He's a hafiz, 18 years old. We were together for quite a few months, and now I'm completely in love with him. I tried testing his love by getting my ex to make him jealous, and that's when I realised he does love me. A few weeks before my departure, he completely stopped speaking to me out of the blue. I know it is wrong to say, but I think his mum has done something to him, because she always hated us speaking even as cousins. How can he be completely in love with me one day and the next he doesn't even want to speak to me. It became worse and worse until he would swear at me every time he saw me around the house. And now I'm back in the UK, and it's been a couple of months I thought I was over him I've been trying to distract myself but I've been having dreams about him constantly every day. And In all the dreams he hates me, and can't stand me. What does this mean?
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*charisma*
02-28-2018, 11:36 PM
Assalamu Alaikum

Those are dreams from the nafs since you're obsessed with this guy. Otherwise they are from shaytan and should not be shared. No one is qualified to interpret dreams.

You should get married asap, and if not, then stay away from boys and lower your gaze. Falling in love to play these childish games is not Islamic. Protect your chastity, Allah will reward you greatly for it.
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cinnamonrolls1
03-01-2018, 10:18 PM
Umm well... Having a premaritial relationship is haram lol. Like charisma said its your nafs thats making you feel like this. What makes you think he loves you? Does he make you a better muslim. Also if he really loved you he wouldnt be all passive agressive like you said he has become. Youre still young at 17 and hes still young at 18. Focus your energy on something else. Yes its normal to develop feelings for the opposite gender but to the extent that you're that preoccupied is not.( im not judging, i mean we've all had crushes but cmon). Also what do you mean by "being together"- like engaged or boyfriend and girlfriend? If its the second then im a bit surpised that a hafidh is dating.
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azc
03-02-2018, 02:00 AM
Stay away this kind of relationship, is better for you. The boy (hafiz) and his mother have negative view of you.
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Tuba13
03-03-2018, 02:29 PM
Sis if he really loved you he wouldn't do this...just get over him...I know it's hard...and lower your gaze...protect your beauty...don't let people use you...get closer to Allah...and wait as the one who is meant to come to you will come...[emoji173]
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ali dawkins
03-03-2018, 02:49 PM
Have you ever considered not dating your cousins
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cinnamonrolls1
03-03-2018, 03:35 PM
Originally Posted by ali dawkins
Have you ever considered not dating your cousins
Lmaooooo, true though. Not a fan personally. It may be permitted but its not for me
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Tuba13
03-04-2018, 11:49 AM
I think we were here to help not make fun of ppl...but what I see is completely different
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Shamnadanu
03-04-2018, 11:57 AM
aah


i feel lonely.i dont have anyone yet .i am still sad about it...i wish i had someone to stay in dheen...
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Tuba13
03-04-2018, 11:59 AM
Originally Posted by Shamnadanu
aah


i feel lonely.i dont have anyone yet .i am still sad about it...i wish i had someone to stay in dheen...
Din get you[emoji53]
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Shamnadanu
03-05-2018, 06:21 AM
Originally Posted by Tuba13
Din get you[emoji53]
its better and safe to marry before 20 years old.


i am 21 now.i am not having anyone yet.
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cinnamonrolls1
03-05-2018, 06:36 AM
Just stop speaking to him sis. If he really loved u he wouldnt be all agressive.
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cinnamonrolls1
03-05-2018, 07:37 AM
Originally Posted by Shamnadanu
its better and safe to marry before 20 years old.


i am 21 now.i am not having anyone yet.
Imam malik didnt get married till he was 40. Thr prophet pbuh didnt get married till he was 25.
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azc
03-05-2018, 07:59 AM
Originally Posted by cinnamonrolls1
Imam malik didnt get married till he was 40. Thr prophet pbuh didnt get married till he was 25.
Provided that someone has control over his 'feelings' , can marry in later phase of his age, otherwise, after the puberty marriage is preferred, especially for girls.
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cinnamonrolls1
03-05-2018, 08:04 AM
Also sister( the og poster) i want to apologise on behalf of the comment i said to ali dawkins when referring to dating cousins. It was totally insensitive, and i regret it now. I hope i didnt cause any offence and i truly wish you all the best sister. @Jannatulferdaus
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cinnamonrolls1
03-05-2018, 08:24 AM
Originally Posted by azc
Provided that someone has control over his 'feelings' , can marry in later phase of his age, otherwise, after the puberty marriage is preferred, especially for girls.
Why especially for girls? Not hating just curious
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azc
03-05-2018, 09:08 AM
Originally Posted by cinnamonrolls1
Why especially for girls? Not hating just curious
If the boys are in a position to support their family, they are also to marry at the earliest.
http://islamweb.net/emainpage/index....twaId&Id=88089

Delaying the marriage of girls in many Muslim countries is something new and contradictory to what Muslims used to do over many centuries. This is because of westernization and the application of man-made laws. This caused a change in understandings and customs within a considerable number of the population, and it is absolutely not permissible to consider the customs and traditions in a given country as the standard by which people abide, and fail to obey the absolute evidences of Shariah.

In some Muslim countries, the marriage for girls has been delayed by many years beyond the age of puberty. This has indeed led to an increase in the removal of the veil from the face, and increased fornication and adultery, as well as the emergence of deviation in conduct and religion among the youth. They had become morally unstable as they lack affection, chastity, and protection their private parts from illegal sexual relations.

By delaying marriage, there is also a reduction in the number of Muslims in the Ummah, and this is contrary to the order of the Prophet )Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam(, as he ordered us to have many children so that the Muslim nation will be greater in number than the previous nations.
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cinnamonrolls1
03-05-2018, 09:20 AM
Originally Posted by azc
If the boys are in a position to support their family, they are also to marry at the earliest.
http://islamweb.net/emainpage/index....twaId&Id=88089

Delaying the marriage of girls in many Muslim countries is something new and contradictory to what Muslims used to do over many centuries. This is because of westernization and the application of man-made laws. This caused a change in understandings and customs within a considerable number of the population, and it is absolutely not permissible to consider the customs and traditions in a given country as the standard by which people abide, and fail to obey the absolute evidences of Shariah.

In some Muslim countries, the marriage for girls has been delayed by many years beyond the age of puberty. This has indeed led to an increase in the removal of the veil from the face, and increased fornication and adultery, as well as the emergence of deviation in conduct and religion among the youth. They had become morally unstable as they lack affection, chastity, and protection their private parts from illegal sexual relations.

By delaying marriage, there is also a reduction in the number of Muslims in the Ummah, and this is contrary to the order of the Prophet )Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam(, as he ordered us to have many children so that the Muslim nation will be greater in number than the previous nations.
Hmmm. I get what you mean but i think people should marry when they feel ready to
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azc
03-05-2018, 09:45 AM
Originally Posted by cinnamonrolls1
Why especially for girls? Not hating just curious
Originally Posted by cinnamonrolls1
Hmmm. I get what you mean but i think people should marry when they feel ready to
but most important aspect of the issue is that delaying in marriage shouldn't be prone to fornication regardless of gender
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Shamnadanu
03-06-2018, 04:16 AM
Originally Posted by cinnamonrolls1
Why especially for girls? Not hating just curious
i am boy.i need to marry too


i am 21..know anyone?
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cinnamonrolls1
03-06-2018, 04:17 AM
Originally Posted by Shamnadanu
i am boy.i need to marry too


i am 21..know anyone?
Um no sorry. Try online
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Shamnadanu
03-06-2018, 04:18 AM
Originally Posted by Shamnadanu
i am boy.i need to marry too


i am 21..know anyone?
can i take a photo of whats happening to unmarried muslim womens in college...
99.9% are sitting with boys and having combined study right now in my place..


i am alone at a corner.because of protecting dheen.i have feelings too



i fear Allah i cant take pics of them to you.
100% girls in my college have no problem chatting touching or being friemds with them
btw its a mixed college by muslim management
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Shamnadanu
03-06-2018, 04:19 AM
Originally Posted by cinnamonrolls1
Um no sorry. Try online
well i am not that kind of guy.
i just overflowing my feelings
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azc
03-06-2018, 05:14 AM
Originally Posted by Shamnadanu
i am boy.i need to marry too


i am 21..know anyone?
Ask your parents to see a girl for you or contact any marriage broker/agency.
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cinnamonrolls1
03-06-2018, 06:54 AM
Originally Posted by Shamnadanu
well i am not that kind of guy.
i just overflowing my feelings
Well if your feelings are "overflowing" then you're probably going to want to get married. If you cant meet someone where you wre then why not try elsewhere.
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cinnamonrolls1
03-06-2018, 06:56 AM
Originally Posted by azc
Ask your parents to see a girl for you or contact any marriage broker/agency.
^^^^
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Shamnadanu
03-06-2018, 07:30 AM
Originally Posted by cinnamonrolls1
^^^^
i am 21

i am still studying.


i am not going to pass exams.


so do you think my parents who were jahalah find a spouse for me in this age and state.
and importantly who can help in my hereafter
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cinnamonrolls1
03-06-2018, 07:36 AM
Originally Posted by Shamnadanu
i am 21

i am still studying.


i am not going to pass exams.


so do you think my parents who were jahalah find a spouse for me in this age and state.
and importantly who can help in my hereafter
So focus on your studies first the ? I dont understsand what you mean by jahalah but im confused
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Shamnadanu
03-06-2018, 07:39 AM
Originally Posted by cinnamonrolls1
So focus on your studies first the ? I dont understsand what you mean by jahalah but im confused
i cant focus bro..
sorry..
i couldnt
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cinnamonrolls1
03-06-2018, 07:41 AM
Originally Posted by Shamnadanu
i cant focus bro..
sorry..
i couldnt
I feel like you're going in circles. You're going to have to able to focus if you want to succeed in your studies. If High schoolers do it so can you.
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azc
03-06-2018, 08:31 AM
Originally Posted by Shamnadanu
well i am not that kind of guy.i just overflowing my feelings
So you are ready to face the responsibilities of your family...?
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Shamnadanu
03-06-2018, 08:32 AM
Originally Posted by azc
So you are ready to face the responsibilities of your family...?
yes inshaAllah

i fear Allah only.
Allah is making life easy for me but all minor shirks like these only destroy our peace.


it is a wakeup call from Allah..its our fitrah..
if not done properly.
i would face consequences.
like haraam intentions amd thoughts
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azc
03-06-2018, 09:00 AM
Originally Posted by Shamnadanu
yes inshaAllah

i fear Allah only.
Allah is making life easy for me but all minor shirks like these only destroy our peace.


it is a wakeup call from Allah..its our fitrah..
if not done properly.
i would face consequences.
like haraam intentions amd thoughts
May Allah swt make it easy for you. Ameen
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Tuba13
03-09-2018, 06:56 AM
Originally Posted by Shamnadanu
its better and safe to marry before 20 years old.


i am 21 now.i am not having anyone yet.
Yeah..I agree
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ammargroup
03-13-2018, 11:56 AM
yes you are getting marry now
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Shamnadanu
03-13-2018, 12:11 PM
Originally Posted by ammargroup
yes you are getting marry now
Really.i am interested then
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