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View Full Version : Problem with Parent in law house...wut to deal?



Stoic
03-18-2018, 06:59 AM
:hmm:::heated:il
So my wife's parent house is.....well....not exactly....uhh...clean. In other words...they are hoarders!!!!!! Like you see on reality shows or news of people having so much stuff in their house. Its so baaaaad. La ila ha illAllah. There is nowhere to sit besides a small table and a bed. The living room is just full. The sofa is hidden becuz so many stuff on it and there's bugs scattered everywhere :omg:. It looks like years of buildup!!!

I wouldn't feel good with my soon to be born son insha Allah be at this place or have them babysit if me and my wife need to be somewhere. I would rather my parents house but they live in another state.

Example pic from Google to get an idea wut I'm talking about: Attachment 6385

- - - Updated - - -

I ask my wife and she tells me its because of a disorder and trauma from the past they had during war times. When they didn't have anything now just wanna make sure they have everything or something like that. Yes they're old..
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eesa the kiwi
03-18-2018, 08:42 AM
Be patient with them brother. Your kindness and understanding of the situation will mean a lot to your wife

Can you look for your own accommodation
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Misbah-Abd
03-18-2018, 10:36 AM
Is that a Corona carton I see there? Looks for other living arrangements brother.
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cinnamonrolls1
03-18-2018, 11:32 AM
Originally Posted by Misbah-Abd
Is that a Corona carton I see there? Looks for other living arrangements brother.
Its from google he said
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azc
03-18-2018, 12:52 PM
Originally Posted by Stoic
:hmm:::heated:il
So my wife's parent house is.....well....not exactly....uhh...clean. In other words...they are hoarders!!!!!! Like you see on reality shows or news of people having so much stuff in their house. Its so baaaaad. La ila ha illAllah. There is nowhere to sit besides a small table and a bed. The living room is just full. The sofa is hidden becuz so many stuff on it and there's bugs scattered everywhere :omg:. It looks like years of buildup!!!

I wouldn't feel good with my soon to be born son insha Allah be at this place or have them babysit if me and my wife need to be somewhere. I would rather my parents house but they live in another state.

Example pic from Google to get an idea wut I'm talking about: Attachment 6385

- - - Updated - - -

I ask my wife and she tells me its because of a disorder and trauma from the past they had during war times. When they didn't have anything now just wanna make sure they have everything or something like that. Yes they're old..
so you are staying in a godown....
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Umme salma
03-18-2018, 03:42 PM
maybe your wife can help support them to clean up, or hire someone once they have decided what to do with the stuff, maybe even convince them to have a shed, where they can move the extra things, and have more space to enjoy a cleaner space.. make the house look good once, a big task im aware, more so when it is a habit and a pattern to a past anchoring.... this way they still can feel secure that they have things in case of an emergency.. that is how they think, because they had an experience..and hopefully help them to feel safty in the transition.. we never know until we try, and im a great believer that we can solve when we know what options we have.. and then go through implementing to see which one gets the job done.. and is healing .. best wishes with the little baby and blessings for the future...
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Stoic
03-19-2018, 06:32 AM
Originally Posted by eesa the kiwi
Be patient with them brother. Your kindness and understanding of the situation will mean a lot to your wife

Can you look for your own accommodation
What do u mean own accommodation?

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Originally Posted by Umme salma
maybe your wife can help support them to clean up, or hire someone once they have decided what to do with the stuff, maybe even convince them to have a shed, where they can move the extra things, and have more space to enjoy a cleaner space.. make the house look good once, a big task im aware, more so when it is a habit and a pattern to a past anchoring.... this way they still can feel secure that they have things in case of an emergency.. that is how they think, because they had an experience..and hopefully help them to feel safty in the transition.. we never know until we try, and im a great believer that we can solve when we know what options we have.. and then go through implementing to see which one gets the job done.. and is healing .. best wishes with the little baby and blessings for the future...
Thanks. Oh this kind of buildup that took years of buildup I'm sure its better to hire someone to do it. Mouse poop everywhere too...
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azc
03-19-2018, 07:10 AM
Originally Posted by Stoic
What do u mean own accommodation?- - - Updated - - -Thanks. Oh this kind of buildup that took years of buildup I'm sure its better to hire someone to do it. Mouse poop everywhere too...
Wil they dislike if you get the home cleaned and put all things in order..?
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eesa the kiwi
03-19-2018, 08:50 AM
Originally Posted by Stoic
What do u mean own accommodation?

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Thanks. Oh this kind of buildup that took years of buildup I'm sure its better to hire someone to do it. Mouse poop everywhere too...
As in your own place not living with her parents
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azc
03-19-2018, 12:36 PM
Originally Posted by eesa the kiwi
As in your own place not living with her parents
perhaps his wife wants to live in her parents' home.
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Stoic
03-19-2018, 07:01 PM
Originally Posted by azc
Wil they dislike if you get the home cleaned and put all things in order..?
Either they would be embarrassed or they would want to keep everything

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Originally Posted by eesa the kiwi
As in your own place not living with her parents
Huh? We don't live with the parents
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Umme salma
03-19-2018, 07:01 PM
I can understand your worry..more so for the little one..in sha Allaah..yes hiring someone will help ease the burden, maybe this little ruh might be the blessings to help them realise the need for change.. hope all goes well for you all..
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Stoic
03-19-2018, 07:03 PM
Originally Posted by azc
perhaps his wife wants to live in her parents' home.
No she does not. Why would she? No one does. Trust me...

- - - Updated - - -

Originally Posted by azc
perhaps his wife wants to live in her parents' home.
No she does not. Why would she? No one does. Trust me...

- - - Updated - - -

Originally Posted by Umme salma
I can understand your worry..more so for the little one..in sha Allaah..yes hiring someone will help ease the burden, maybe this little ruh might be the blessings to help them realise the need for change.. hope all goes well for you all..
Could be..
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azc
03-19-2018, 09:22 PM
Is there any problem in taking a home on rent..?
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Stoic
03-20-2018, 12:31 AM
Originally Posted by azc
Is there any problem in taking a home on rent..?
Wut?? I don't understand wut ur sayin
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