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Dynamite
04-05-2018, 11:49 AM
Long story cut short . For 6 months ive been in constant pain. Literally constant. With all tests and medicine. No one knows what's wrong. Prior to this happening i wasn't the best Muslim and sinned a lot and i admit i have done major sins. Which ive asked forgiveness for. I can take pain but its been literally on going 24/7 . I have started praying and making lots of dua. Maybe 30 times a day for the last 6 months. Making abundant istigfar and doing everything i can. Taking the means as they say and having tawakkul. Ive made dua in all sorts of "accepted " times and 6 months later im no better off. Now im gonna get people saying. Allah loves you hence he tests you and the prophets gor tested the most. Verily with hardship comes ease. Im being tested severely. To the point where ive tried suicide. I come from a fairly religious background where i was taught about the wrongs and rights of islam. Yes ive messed up a lot. But who hasn't? Ive repented sincerely. So i wanted to ask before i give up on my religion altogether is there any body who can advise me on what to do. I mean ive tried it all. You name it and I've tried it. Ive been patient and patient. Just seems like God would rather be merciful to other's. I am on the last stage of becoming an aethist and that would be a shame because i genuinely do believe in God and that he is merciful but how can he allow me to suffer when ive cried each night and day to make this go away. As far as tests come. When you're on the verge of suicide. You're past the point of no soul shall take more than it can bare. I cant see a way out . If you're going to tell me be patient and look at other blessings or tell me stories about other prophets. Don't. I would like practical advice
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Zzz_
04-05-2018, 03:18 PM
It always amuses me when people say,

"I come from a fairly religious background where i was taught about the wrongs and rights of islam."

What good is such a "religious" family if it failed to instill those same values in you. This isn't a jab at you but saying in general as I know other people are in similar boat. In fact, 50% of Muslim youths today have done zina and drugs. When the individual has their own desire to do something haram and want that "freedom" then it doesn't matter what kind of family they come from, it's all on them.

Anyways, regarding your situation. Remember the story of the tying the camel? A man left his camel untied and said he leaves it to Allah and the prophet (S) said go tie your camel first then put your trust in Allah. Meaning go do your part first. So while dua alone is sufficient for some, for most you have to do your part too, that is seek out treatment. If the doctors are unable to find out then try hakeem, or religious healers, such as raqees, or natural treatment options.
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Dynamite
04-05-2018, 09:06 PM
infact they haven't failed me at all. Ive failed myself. Ive been to hakims and homeopaths. Spent money om private diagnostics. My marriage has broken down. I understand tests are tests and are difficult. I would never tell someone to be patient and keep trying because is that really the answer? Everyone has failed me and the one supreme being im relying on has let me down. Thanks for the reply and i appreciate it. Its too late for me now. Ive given up on islam and religion. I had a good chat with my hakeem who is also an ulama and he tried to get me.to understand that my relation with god was ok a basis of if i do this . Then i receive this. He told me it doesnt work like that and you worship god not because of your needs. But because he is your god. It made sense and would take that as answer at any other point in my life. He told me be grateful you're not in Syria or Palestine . Would it make it ne a bad person if i said i would happily swap places knowing i will die a shaheed and be in jannah and not go through this test. Fail and lose my imaan. When i say fairly religious . Ive always been conscious of god and like to think of myself as someone who has been dragged through hell and back yet still had tawakkul. Just can't do it anymore. I tried killing myself a few days ago. I know god doesnt have to answer me but it is what it is . Pray for me if you wish that my life changes .regardless if i don't reply its probably cause im 6 foot under.
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Zzz_
04-05-2018, 10:41 PM
While I do see where you are coming from, I think you are failing to see where you are headed and where Allah wants you to go. You said you have done some major sins and lost your way pretty bad, but then you started your journey back towards Allah. You have tried all the means of healing without any luck. And that everyone has failed you, even Allah has let you down. And that you are considering leaving the religion. And you don't want any advice that says have patience. That about sums it up I believe.

So here's my take on it given all that information. There are several things that needs to be addressed, inshallah i'll see if i can address them adequately.

First, it could be a punishment for all the transgression you have done or it could all be a test, a big test, to purify you from all the sins you have done. Take it either way you like. A believer always has a positive outlook and always is grateful. When he is blessed with good things then he says 'Alhamdulillah' for the blessings, and when he is facing hardship, he bears it with patience because Allah is using that as a means of purifying him of his sins. The following hadith illustrates this,The Prophet (S) said:

“Nothing befalls a believer, a (prick of a) thorn or more than that, but Allah will raise him one degree in status thereby, or erase a bad deed.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5641) and Muslim (2573).

and

“How wonderful is the affair of the believer, for his affairs are all good, and this applies to no one but the believer. If something good happens to him, he is thankful for it and that is good for him. If something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience and that is good for him.” (Narrated by Muslim, 2999).


So 1. a believe is grateful regardless of his situation, and 2. a believer does not despair, it's not allowed because Allah says:
“Say: ‘O My worshipers, who have sinned excessively against themselves, DESPAIR NOT of the Mercy of Allah! Verily, Allah forgives all sins. He is the Forgiver, the Most Merciful.” [Surah az-Zumar Ayah 53]


So it's not too late for you and Allah has not let you down. Rather you are letting yourself down by thinking of your Lord as such. Your hakeem was right in your misunderstanding of your relationship with Allah. It is not based on a give/take concept. Rather Allah created us solely for the purpose of worship and nothing more. And He has promised punishment for transgressors and rewards for obedience. Regardless of how one thinks of it, it's His creation and His rules. So be it your boss, your gov't, or your Creator, you gotta play by the rules and know how the system works and you'll do fine. And I agree with you on the syria example, but I guess it's a matter of perspective on that.

If you say you have been dragged through hell and back and still had tawwakkul then are you saying what you are going through now is worst then hell? If you had gone through all that and still had hope and tawwakkul then don't despair now and throw in the towel. I don't think you have understood the concept of patience. Patient are not those who say "i've waited and waited, when will Allah give me this or that" nor those who do not think good of Allah while facing calamity. Allaah has given glad tidings of three things to those who are patient, each of which is better than that for which the people of this world envy one another. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“but give glad tidings to As‑ Saabiroon (the patient).

156. Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: ‘Truly, to Allaah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return.’

157. They are those on whom are the Salawaat (i.e. who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His Mercy, and it is they who are the guided ones”

[al-Baqarah 2:155-157]



So while it does become hard, know that it will not stay like that forever and Allah has promised ease after every hardship. The important we have to worry about is how do we practice patience whiling going through the hardship. It helps keep this in mind:

Hadith: “Remember that there is much good in bearing with patience that which you dislike, and that victory comes with patience, and that with hardship comes a way out and with difficulty comes ease.” (Narrated by Ahmad)

For truly with hardship comes ease; truly with hardship comes ease. (Surat al-Inshirah: 5-6)

"...Bear with patience whatever befalls you...." (Qur'an 31:17) and "Be not sad, surely Allah is with us." (Qur'an 9:40)

It would help to keep these in mind as you move forward and hopefully change your outlook on your circumstances inshallah:

“If Allah wills good for His slave, He hastens his punishment in this world, and if He wills bad for His slave, He withholds from him (the punishment for) his sin, until He requites him for it on the Day of Resurrection.” Narrated and classed as hasan by at-Tirmidhi (2396); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh at-Tirmidhi.

“Great reward comes with great trials. When Allah loves a people, He tests them, and whoever accepts it attains His pleasure, whereas whoever shows discontent with it incurs His wrath.” Narrated and classed as hasan by at-Tirmidhi (2396); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in as-Silsilah as-Saheehah, no. 146

Also, i would recommend checking out this link on 'Why Allah tests us with hardship" - http://islam.ru/en/content/story/why...st-us-hardship

Lastly, this life is a trial and a test bro. You are getting your share of it, victory is promised to those who are patient. So have hope and bear it with patience as well as use this opportunity to not run away from Allah but rather to get back to Allah. If you can, consider going for umrah and drinking zamzam for it gives you whatever intention you drink it for. Also, look into how to eat black seeds to remedy this kind of ailment, black seed has been said to be a cure for all illnesses.

may Allah ease your affairs, bless you with shifa and quick recovery inshallah.
ameen.
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Dynamite
04-06-2018, 12:49 AM
Thanks for the advice bro..i appreciate it. Ive been hasty but im desperate that's why. Up until today ive never been this weak. I understand that trials are a part of life. Believe me ive had my fair share and always said Alhamdulillah. Just 2 days ago i tried taking my own life. 2 years ago i was afflicted with another illness which i was patient. In 2013 smae thing. I was patient. Marriage broken up. Patient..mum died . Patient. You see where I'm going. Never once have i complained or resorted to suicide or made an online post asking fir advice. Up until today. Im 25 years oldand im worried if im being tested this severely at this stage of my life the tests only get harder and harder. As for zam zam ive been through 3 bottles and nothing and ive had full faith in yhe fact that zam zam is whatever it is drunk for. I hate to sound like a person who is ungrateful but ive had enough and unfortunately towel has been thrown in and ive given up on my religion. As for umrah i planned to go in ghe last10 nights so i can beg god in front of the kaaba on laylatul qadr and see if my fortunes changed but.i cancelled it. Thanks for the advice and effort. Much respect. Pray things change for me . On my end ive given up.
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Misbah-Abd
04-06-2018, 01:23 AM
"Dua is one of the most powerful tools for countering misfortune and attaining what is sought, but its effects may be delayed, either because of a weakness in the supplicator's soul, by it being a prayer that Allah does not love due to it containing malicious intentions, or due to the weakness of the heart and it being turned away from Allah, or due to not being fully focused on Allah during the time of the dua, so that it is like a bow whose string is not taut, or due to the occurrence of that which prevents the answering of the dua, such as the consumption of the unlawful and the soul being overrun by sins." Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah

"A dua done during adversity has three ranks; either the dua is stronger than the adversity so that it fully counters it, or that it is weaker than the adversity so that the adversity dominates and the supplicator ends up suffering from the adversity and not escaping it, though the dua can weaken the adversity even if it is a weak dua. And the thrid is that they are equal and cancel each other out." Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah

"If you feel too weak to bear His test, ask for His help, and if the calamity He has chosen for you pains you greatly, you are between His hands, so do not lose hope of His Mercy." Ibn al-Jawzi

"The wisdom in Allah's afflicting His servant with hardship is that He did not afflict him to destroy him, but to test his patience and obedience. Obedience is required from the servant to Allah Almighty during times of hardship similarly to how it is required during times of ease, and obedience is required of him in that which he dislikes similarly to how it is required of him in that which he likes. The majority of people only carry out their duty of obedience only in things they like, even though the higher status belongs to carrying out the duty in things they dislike, since it is through these that the ranks of the servants are distinguished, and it is according to this that their degrees are decided in the eyes of Allah." Ibn al-Jawziyyah
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BurningHeart
04-06-2018, 09:13 AM
What do you mean by constant pain?
Is this pain happening in your stomach?
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Dynamite
04-06-2018, 10:04 AM
I was choked by someome to the point where i felt like i was going to die. Wish i did. And it got better but less than a week later.i started developing a lump like feeling in my throat which hasnt gone. That was in October. Its been hell. Ive not been sleeping well all these months. Been to ENT and had an MRI .endoscopy. tried herbal medicines . Seen a homeopath. Every breath of mine is a pained one so as you can imagine. This test for even the strongest of believers is very very very challenging. As for the previous person about dua. Ive always believed in dua as ive had many many duas answered. Believe me when i say not a day has gone by where i haven't cried and ask for forgiveness and relief. I always tell god. All the doors are shut and you're my only way out. Everyone has abandoned me and you are the one for the one who has no one. I put so much faith him and my problem has deepened that its now affecting me mentally. If i still didnt care about my religion and the afterlife i would have committed suicide. Every Friday i rush back from work to sit in the mosque from asar to magrib in hope and search of that moment god has promised that no matter what the slave asks for i shall grant it to him.ive also been tested in my wealth as ive spent over 3k in tests and medicines and im struggling financially. Tested in my health and in my duas. So its tough for me. Really tough. I wake up each day wishing i never woke up . I kindly request you to pray for me.
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BurningHeart
04-06-2018, 10:18 AM
May Allah rabul 'izza ease your pain

Have you tried consulting a reliable ruqyah/aamil specialist before?

And when I say reliable that means those who are not fraudster and fake ones. So make sure to become extra careful if you are going to.
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Dynamite
04-06-2018, 10:39 AM
My hijama guy does ruqya and i trust him but im not sure how that would help? Can you explain more if you don't mind?
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BurningHeart
04-06-2018, 01:17 PM
Maybe do ask him if he can perform ruqyah on you. Follow this for few days and notify if your health improves or not.

Ensure that person is an expert and experienced raqi.

At times when one notices that the medical reportd show everything normal while at the same time the health is deteriorating. It could be related to sihr/black magic or jinn issue but not always.

Taking account of your details there is a fair possibility in this.

When one is under such sihr issues then the main thing the shayateen wants is to build excess fear and doubts in imaan. And there is an increase in damanging of mental health. This weakens the health as well, where doctors are left helpless.

May Allah rabul 'izza keep us all safe, ameen.

So yeah give it a go. Do let us know what happens, so further advice can be given inshaAllah.
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Eric H
04-06-2018, 04:30 PM
Greetings and peace be with you Dynamite; and welcome to the forum,

I am so sorry to hear about your pain and suffering, I had to watch my mum live the last twenty years of her life paralysed from the neck down with multiple sclerosis. She could not move her hands or legs. There were times she wanted to die during the first couple of years, but she seemed to live through these dark periods.

I don't know where she found her strength from, she had a gentle faith and she was always more concerned about us than she was about herself. We all die, so death is not the problem, the problem seemed to be for her, how to live a cheerful and content life despite her horrific disability. But she somehow came to a point of acceptance of her lot, and died in peace.

I will never meet anyone as strong as my mum, and I measure her strength in her acceptance of her illness and her kindness for others.

Prayers and blessings

Eric
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Umm♥Layth
04-06-2018, 05:43 PM
It sounds to me like is the modern medicine failing you, not Allah. Allah is not whimsical and he isn't going to shine a light onto you to heal you. It is VERY possible that you've missed some signs and guidance due to being focused on not getting better.

When it comes to health, people have to learn to advocate for themselves and often take matter into their own hands. You said you've tried everything. Have you tried changing your lifestyle? Changed your food intake? What kind of pain are you suffering? Have you looked into alternative medicine or looked for a support group that can help guide you?

I say this with a ton of understanding. I feel for you and I too have suffered alot of health issues which have left me with no choice but to work on them myself without doctors. I encourage you to look around you and help yourself because in the end, Allah helps those who help themselves :) He will never forsake you and the fact that you are here now is a sign of that. There will be an answer out there for you some day.Keep looking.
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Dynamite
04-06-2018, 06:43 PM
Yeah i changed my diet. 2 months of a elimination diet and supplements. I've not come here on the basis of doing a half a job and then complaining . Myself physically i have done everything humanly in my power to change my situation.

- - - Updated - - -

Sorry to hear that. One tough woman. Wish you all the best :)
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Umm♥Layth
04-06-2018, 06:59 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Dynamite
Yeah i changed my diet. 2 months of a elimination diet and supplements. I've not come here on the basis of doing a half a job and then complaining . Myself physically i have done everything humanly in my power to change my situation.

- - - Updated - - -

Sorry to hear that. One tough woman. Wish you all the best :)
An elimination diet is only the start and 2 months is hardly enough to see changes. There's a ton of information out there. What kind of pain are you experiencing? Physical, internal? both? Have you been 100% ruled out for fibromyalgia?
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Dynamite
04-06-2018, 07:21 PM
Its in the throat and i have spent over 3k on herbal stuff and homeopaths and supplements etc thyroid tests mri endoscopy and ENT privately. Believe me when it comes to this stuff ive suffererd a lot from autoimmune disease which i managed to get rid of. Laryngeal refulx i suffered for 1 year plus. Always came through it . My pain could be nerve related but ive been told they can't test that and im lost for answers. My only last option is to juice fast for 2 months like i did. I've had to take matters into my own hands far too many times regarding my health. And i don't know about you buy me trying to kill myself was something i never thought id have to go through. You say god hasn't failed me but in my eyes . When i say no one can help me but him and yet i see no way out. When you pray to the most merciful you expect mercy. Not punishment
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Umm♥Layth
04-06-2018, 07:47 PM
I wish I could go into as much detail as I'd like, but I have little ones and busy household. You need to change your outlook and perception. Your health issues are NOT a punishment. Some people are afflicted with poverty and other things and they are not punishments. There must be a way for you to learn to cope. I can't say I know what chronic pain is like so forgive me if I sound condescending. That's not where I'm coming from.

What if it IS indeed nerve damage? What will you do?

I have heard of people attempting suicide due to ongoing pain, so I can understand where you are coming from. It doesn't mean that's the answer of course, but perhaps start looking for ways to cope instead of negating what is. I know how badly you want things to change but perhaps reaching a place of acceptance will open up doors for you. Negating what Allah has put in our path often leads us to negative motions towards him. I've been there.

I wish I could go into more detail how I'd like but it would take a long time to write that up. If I find something that I feel may help you, I will post it insha'Allah.
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