View Full Version : Parental and marital issue advice needed
05-12-2018, 01:34 AM
My Dad is struggling and had just bought us a new house, he tries to pay all the bills but doesn’t exactly have enough, he travelled almost four hours everyday to go back and forth to work. My dad also has had re occurring health problems and has been hospitalized many times before. My mom has been spending a lot of money on food and clothes that is hoarded all over our house causing clutter and waste, a lot of food goes to waste and money. And my dad is very upset with her going outside constantly. There has been many conflicts between my mom and dad. But my mom doesn’t listen to my dad. Alongside our families struggle I’m having an Islamic conflict. Because I’m islam it’s very bad for wives to be disobedient to husbands, and my mom has been having these kinds of problems with my dad. I love my mom so much and I’m worried about the after life. I know that being disobedient to your mother is also incredibly bad so I’ve tried not to say anything because I’m also worried about my afterlife. But I just wanna advise her and give her sincere dawah. I’m scared to do so because I don’t want to get into a fight with my mom and be disobedient to her but I want her to listen to my father. Every time my mom isn’t here my dad complains about her and vice versa. Ever since we moved up north and farther away from the city the drive back and forth has become more and more risky. We’ve gotten into 3 car crashes since then. Ever since then I’ve been paranoid about a final crash. My mom had a very bad driving history, from crashing into other people’s cars, from hitting curbs all the way to falling into a ditch, her driving skills are also very poor, And since my mom keeps driving back and forth on this trip I fear another and final accident. But worries me most is the way things are between her and my dad. Reply
Also Hadith like this:
Ahmad (19025) and al-Haakim narrated from al-Husayn ibn Muhsin that his paternal aunt came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) for something and he dealt with her need, then the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do you have a husband?” She said, “Yes.” He said: “How are you with him?” She said, “I do not neglect any of his rights except those I am unable to fulfil.” He said: “Look at how you are with him, for he is your paradise and your hell” – i.e., he is the cause of you entering Paradise if you fulfil his rights and the cause of your entering Hell if you fall short in that.
I want my mom to go to paradise and I’m worried that her troubled marriage with my dad might affect this. The only reason I think there not divorced is because there are 7 of us, and as you can tell my dad bought this house and wanted us to unite as a family and make things better. I’m also worried about my akhira and for that reason I sort of refrain from giving dawah to my mom in this regard but I love her so much and it hurts to see the way her marriage is going on an Islamic level.
And for this reason I desperately ask for any advice on what I should do. I really wanna voice this concern but I’m afraid that it’s above me.
Login/Register to hide ads.
Scroll down for more posts
Tell her all this politely...Reply
06-02-2018, 07:08 PM
Assalam walaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu. I can relate, sort of. The main issue here is that your mother has a mental illness: anxiety and maybe bipolar disorder. Things will get better insha Allah if you get her psychological therapy and maybe medications and supplements. Also, try researching hoarding and spending sprees and talking to her. She must have a lot of hurt in her to act the way she does. She might not even realize what she is doing and how she is hurting you and your father and family. However, you dad has to be the man and stop enabling her addictive behavior. Where is she getting all this money from?? Try Ruqyah, too. Recite verses of the Quran and blow on her and in water she drinks. Play the Quran Recitation in front of her. She is definitely under the influence of evil. I went through decades of this with my mentally ill mother who seemed pure evil more often than not. Jinn possessions can do that. Auzu billahi minash shaitan ir rajeem. Allah Al Hafiz protect and preserve us all and our loved ones and all Muslims, male or female, alive or dead! Amin.Reply
06-03-2018, 03:20 AM
Originally Posted by MuslimahRo
The government gives us money. I don’t think it’s a jinn because we play Quran in our house and there doesn’t seem to be a problem.
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Last Post: 06-18-2016, 03:10 PM
Last Post: 11-29-2015, 07:46 PM
Last Post: 11-06-2010, 11:21 AM
Last Post: 07-09-2009, 01:00 PM
Powered by vBulletin® Copyright © 2020 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.