format_quote Originally Posted by
MuslimahRo
Assalam walaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu, brothers and sisters. I am interested in marrying someone who is in a foreign country and can't meet me right away because it's not easy to get a visa to my country. So we are both interested in meeting in his country as I can get a visa quickly insha Allah. My parents are old and I don't have anybody to go with me. Are there any tips you have for me that might helpful? I know a man and woman to whom marriage isn't forbidden can't be alone in private. The thing is his mother is dead and his sister lives in another country. I am not sure who could be a chaperone. Should I ask him if he has an aunt or female cousin nearby? I can stay in a hotel at first till we decide to get married for certain. However, I don't know how safe hotels in developing countries are for a single female. Also, I don't know how to tell my family. They are always bossy and make my life hard more often than not. Yet, I feel like I need to tell them once I set a departure date. The benefit of my going there is that if we get married, I can apply for a marriage visa for him. That process can take several months or even a year so the sooner we start, the better. It's hard for me to find somebody I like who also likes me so I am willing to literally go the distance for him. Allah Hafiz.
:sl:
My sister the safeguards for women requiring mahrams to travel particularly out of the country are there for good reasons. Regardless of how much you think you trust this man you can never be sure of your safety if you were to go out there alone.
There are many predators out there who fool and decieve women by charming them and promising marriage etc but they have other intentions. On top of that there is also the risk of sin for you to be out there alone.
Therefore your only choice is to travel to his family with a mahram who must be with you at all times during your visit. If this is not possible then there is no other choice but for this potential to come and see you with your family.
Remember as long as we do that which keeps us safe within the boundaries set by Allah then surely he will find a way for us that we never imagined. Also make isthikhara about this especially during these blessed nights.
May Allah do what is best for you. Ameen