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Stoic
06-16-2018, 11:10 PM
So sometimes when we're out or at a gathering guys mostly nonmuslim who use to know my wife in the past goes to hug her. And she knows I don't approve and she doesn't know wut to do but shyly hugs back to not make it weird and hard for her to explain why she can't hug.

Very weird situation...
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azc
06-17-2018, 02:05 AM
She should tell them politely that it's not allowed for a Muslim woman to hug a non mahram.

Moreover, free mixing isn't permitted, hope you know it.
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Stoic
06-17-2018, 02:35 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by azc
She should tell them politely that it's not allowed for a Muslim woman to hug a non mahram.

Moreover, free mixing isn't permitted, hope you know it.
She knows but its hard for her to tell em
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Abz2000
06-17-2018, 04:09 AM
It's difficult to plainly decline unlawful approaches when one first comes out of jaahiliyyah, but it gets easier the more one studies ans practices self-discipline.

https://islamqa.info/en/21183

Anyways, it's necessary to avoid setting up and going to jaahiliyyah gatherings, and practicing haram acts - for the well-being of each individual and of society at large.

Women are usually more malleable than men so it's an essential part of the husband's/male guardian's duty to inform and protect her from haraam to the best of his ability.
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azc
06-17-2018, 04:38 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Stoic
She knows but its hard for her to tell em
then shy should not go there.
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MidnightRose
06-17-2018, 11:15 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Stoic
So sometimes when we're out or at a gathering guys mostly nonmuslim who use to know my wife in the past goes to hug her. And she knows I don't approve and she doesn't know wut to do but shyly hugs back to not make it weird and hard for her to explain why she can't hug.

Very weird situation...
:salam:

You do have a problem. A major problem that is likely to never go away (shy hugs, innocent texts/conversations, and whatever other shy, innocent things that are likely going on as well).

Unless you and your wife read, reflect on, and sincerely attempt to practice the following information.

Granted that Islam has truly become a strange thing and attempting to follow Islam in this day and age is like holding a burning coal (statements of our Prophet :saws:), doing so will completely solve your problem. Your predicament is truly illustrative of the truthfulness of our Prophet :saws:. The various instructions of Allah :swt1: and His Prophet :saws: are seen as strange, weird, extreme, and unreasonable by people who profess to be Muslims - let alone non-Muslims. If Muslims themselves don't care, non-Muslims can't be blamed. It's our own fault.

The recommended information I have alluded to is in the form of a book titled:

Hijab: The Islamic Commandments of Hijab (click on the title to the left for a free PDF copy)

The author is a senior Shaykh and founder of Darul Uloom Al-Madania and Darul Uloom Canada - both being institutes of higher Islamic education in North America.

One thing that may stand out is the fact that the Islamic concept of Hijab is not a headscarf and it has nothing to do with personal freedom and feeling liberated. It's goal is to prevent zina of any kind - which constrains a person in many ways. In authentic narrations the Prophet :saws: said that the world is a prison for a believer and paradise for a non-believer.

If you and your wife read, reflect on, and sincerely attempt to practice the commandments of Hijab, I guarantee this particular problem will go away permanently and you will never have to worry about another man committing zina with your wife again (again, there are many types).
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aflawedbeing
06-18-2018, 04:15 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Abz2000
It's difficult to plainly decline unlawful approaches when one first comes out of jaahiliyyah, but it gets easier the more one studies ans practices self-discipline.

https://islamqa.info/en/21183

Anyways, it's necessary to avoid setting up and going to jaahiliyyah gatherings, and practicing haram acts - for the well-being of each individual and of society at large.

Women are usually more malleable than men so it's an essential part of the husband's/male guardian's duty to inform and protect her from haraam to the best of his ability.
I like most of what you say, but that red part is very highly debatable.
The rest of it is definitive fact though, so OP listen up.
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Abz2000
06-18-2018, 04:32 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by aflawedbeing
I like most of what you say, but that red part is very highly debatable.The rest of it is definitive fact though, so OP listen up.
Lol, the fact that they're more fashion savvy and spend more time before the mirror is a social approval craving statement in itself. They're the easier of the couple to convince based on multiple stimuli too, it's also a physical fact.

:) kindly with a smile and not belligerently :argue: , i do hope that nobody will try to force the notion that there were prophetesses for the sake of false political correctness.




Nevertheless, I have this against you: You tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophet. By her teaching she misleads my servants into sexual immorality and the eating of food sacrificed to idols.:

Revelation 2:20




وَمَا أَرْسَلْنَا قَبْلَكَ إِلَّا رِجَالًا نُّوحِي إِلَيْهِمْ فَاسْأَلُوا أَهْلَ الذِّكْرِ إِن كُنتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ

Muhammad Asad
For [even] before thy time, [O Muhammad,] We never sent [as Our apostles] any but [mortal] men, whom We inspired - hence, [tell the deniers of the truth,] “If you do not know this, ask the followers of earlier revelation”

M. M. Pickthall
And We sent not (as Our messengers) before you other than men, whom We inspired. Ask the followers of the Reminder if you know not?

Yusuf Ali
Before you also, the messengers We sent were but men, to whom We granted inspiration: If you realise this not, ask of those who possess the Message.

Quran 21:7
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ChosenTCO
06-18-2018, 05:37 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=717t_L4xJIw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8uisvhsKa4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5y0iz6n4sIE

No one can deny that it is 100% cringy to reject a handshake for whatever reason, but still ... Islam is Islam and we have to submit.
Best thing you can do is avoid putting yourself in that situation in the first place. If you cant then better cringy about it today than regretting it on the day of judgement.

Inshallah in the end, Allah is all merciful and forgiving. But its better to depend on your discipline in this world than on his mercy in the after life.
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MuslimahRo
06-18-2018, 06:11 AM
Assalam walaikum. I tend to be shy in social situations. However, we need to speak out in any situation where other people aren't aware of Islamic practices and prohibitions. One tip is to avoid mixed gatherings and gatherings with non-Muslims. Once I started going to the masjid during Ramadan, I stopped dealing with non-Muslim acquaintances. That meant fewer awkward moments socializing. I made some Ramadan friends and acquaintances and no year-round friends due to Muslims being selfish and not wanting new friends. It was still better than dealing with non-Muslim users. So for the sake of Islam, I choose to have no friends than fake friends, Muslim or otherwise. It works out because a lot of peopl annoy me. Plus, I get to avoid peer pressure and focus on my goals wthout distractions. I read in my sister's Islamic course handbook that excessive socializing blackens the heart. I sure agree.
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talibilm
06-18-2018, 09:37 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Stoic
She knows but its hard for her to tell em
:sl:

Prevention is better than cure, So we should avoid such free mixing gatherings and a husband will become responsible for those sins too. we should not Please humans at the cost of displeasing our Creator Allah . May Allah make this easy to us , Ameen.

Eid mubarak to all the Bros & Sis here.
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Alamgir
06-18-2018, 02:40 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Stoic
So sometimes when we're out or at a gathering guys mostly nonmuslim who use to know my wife in the past goes to hug her. And she knows I don't approve and she doesn't know wut to do but shyly hugs back to not make it weird and hard for her to explain why she can't hug.

Very weird situation...
Asalamu Alaikum

How do you put up with that? If my girl was hugging random dudes I'd get pretty mad.

Just tell her to tell them no, and that she considers it a violation of her personal space.

If they don't listen, you can literally go to the Police over this.
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azc
06-18-2018, 03:54 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Al Khorasani
Asalamu Alaikum

How do you put up with that? If my girl was hugging random dudes I'd get pretty mad.

Just tell her to tell them no, and that she considers it a violation of her personal space.

If they don't listen, you can literally go to the Police over this.
If the wife is unable then husband should stop them. I think this friendship with his wife is unislamic.
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xboxisdead
06-18-2018, 05:07 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Al Khorasani
Asalamu Alaikum

How do you put up with that? If my girl was hugging random dudes I'd get pretty mad.

Just tell her to tell them no, and that she considers it a violation of her personal space.

If they don't listen, you can literally go to the Police over this.
Yes, but you have to understand the more we strip away masculinity and move toward pleasing women and feminist and enter feminization the more men will become dayyouth in nature. For example to me, if my mother hugs a man or shake his hand (non-mahrim) I shut my mouth and say nothing. This training in process will make do the same if I had a wife. She can hug a man, shake his hand or socially interact with a non-mahrim man and to me that is natural and normal. In fact, I wanna seek out some nice juicy gossip. This is the trend we are moving. The more women push for power and making the world comfort to her needs and desires at the expense of men or companies the more I become not really caring. So I am unsure if that applies to that brother...but I am thankful I am not married. Because if I had a wife and she hugged a man or kissed a man or shaken hand with a man...it does not phase me a bit nor do I care.
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azc
06-18-2018, 05:14 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by xboxisdead
Yes, but you have to understand the more we strip away masculinity and move toward pleasing women and feminist and enter feminization the more men will become dayyouth in nature. For example to me, if my mother hugs a man or shake his hand (non-mahrim) I shut my mouth and say nothing. This training in process will make do the same if I had a wife. She can hug a man, shake his hand or socially interact with a non-mahrim man and to me that is natural and normal. In fact, I wanna seek out some nice juicy gossip. This is the trend we are moving. The more women push for power and making the world comfort to her needs and desires at the expense of men or companies the more I become not really caring. So I am unsure if that applies to that brother...but I am thankful I am not married. Because if I had a wife and she hugged a man or kissed a man or shaken hand with a man...it does not phase me a bit nor do I care.
Keep in mind bro, we've to see every issue on this forum from Islamic perspective. Our personal opinion has no importance.
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xboxisdead
06-18-2018, 05:16 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by azc
Keep in mind bro, we've to see every issue on this forum from Islamic perspective. Our personal opinion has no importance.
Agreed ;D
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