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anonymous
06-28-2018, 12:20 AM
Salam all. I'm in my 30s and have a hard time keeping a job. I have major issues in the work place regarding my anxiety. I understand these things seem minor but, simple things like communicating with other people, phone conversations, having to work with others, just to name a few. I usually end up quitting only after a couple of years because work related tasks stress me to the point of having to leave. I find that I do best when I'm given a task to complete and I can work alone to complete it without having to depend or worry about other people. Unfortunately every job I have had requires me to work with others the majority of the time. I tried going into different fields of work all with the same results. My current job of 4 years is driving me crazy and now I feel like I'm on the hunt again but don't know where to go this time. It's not even about the money to me. My whole goal in finding a job is to find a place I can enjoy going to but I feel like I've wasted the last almost 20 years now getting no where in life, career wise. I thank Allah that I'm somewhat financially stable having saved up money from all these jobs, but I just have no ambition anymore and I'm mentally fatigued by forcing myself to work through my anxiety issues.

Does anyone have the same problems? If so, how do you cope with it?
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ahmed.younes
06-28-2018, 07:14 AM
Stop sinning, repent to allah, and increase in your worship i.e reading Quran, prayer, thikr... I used to have the same issue, but alhmadulilah after I cut out all my regular sinning, and made repentance, I am gradually getting better in all aspects of life.

Ibn taymiiyah said (ra); If someone fears other than Allah, then know he has a sickness or disease, in his heart. So, seek aid with Allah to clean your heart, and revise your islam... Perhaps you have got a few things wrong.. Refer back to the authentic textual evidences, and to the righteous predeccors, and Salafi scholars..
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BeTheChange
06-28-2018, 09:45 AM
Walaikumasalaam,

Any idea what is the underlying factor behind these problems?

Have you seen any specialist?

There will be a way for you to deal with these problems. You just need to explore different avenues insha Allah.
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anonymous
06-28-2018, 10:26 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by ahmed.younes
Stop sinning, repent to allah, and increase in your worship i.e reading Quran, prayer, thikr... I used to have the same issue, but alhmadulilah after I cut out all my regular sinning, and made repentance, I am gradually getting better in all aspects of life.

Ibn taymiiyah said (ra); If someone fears other than Allah, then know he has a sickness or disease, in his heart. So, seek aid with Allah to clean your heart, and revise your islam... Perhaps you have got a few things wrong.. Refer back to the authentic textual evidences, and to the righteous predeccors, and Salafi scholars..
Thanks. I've never been closer to the religion than I am now, so I'm not really sure how else to respond to this.

format_quote Originally Posted by BeTheChange
Walaikumasalaam,

Any idea what is the underlying factor behind these problems?

Have you seen any specialist?

There will be a way for you to deal with these problems. You just need to explore different avenues insha Allah.
I'm not sure. I've been this way since I was young. I've always avoided social interactions with other people. I've been a loner basically since high school and even when I did have "friends", I just kind of laid low and never really said anything. I have forced myself to work through whatever job I worked in and I feel like it has taken a toll on me. I continually go online to look for job alternatives. The IT field seems to come up the most in terms of being able to work alone, specifically programming. I feel like you have to live and breath IT stuff in order to be successful at it because of it rapidly changing, so I don't know if I can make it.

I havn't seen any specialist on this. I fear they will just want to throw medicine at me which I'd refuse to take if it came down to that.
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ahmed.younes
06-28-2018, 04:25 PM
Be patient and continue striving in the path of islam, and do not transgress by sinning
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ardianto
06-28-2018, 04:43 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
I'm not sure. I've been this way since I was young. I've always avoided social interactions with other people. I've been a loner basically since high school and even when I did have "friends", I just kind of laid low and never really said anything. I have forced myself to work through whatever job I worked in and I feel like it has taken a toll on me. I continually go online to look for job alternatives. The IT field seems to come up the most in terms of being able to work alone, specifically programming. I feel like you have to live and breath IT stuff in order to be successful at it because of it rapidly changing, so I don't know if I can make it.
Sound like you have very introvert personality. But now you work in a field with atmosphere that require you to interact with people in the way like an extrovert person.
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BeTheChange
06-28-2018, 08:58 PM
Asalamualykum dear sister,

Being a 'loner' in your teenage years can be very challenging because everyone has their own little gang in school and college but as you grow older you realise it is okay to be on your own. I think islamically it is an excellent attribute to have. Not to talk as much. The tongue is the avenue to many sins. I was listening to a lecture the other day and the sheikh mentioned if you talk less this is one way of controlling your nafs for the vast majority of people because as social creatures we tend to talk a lot. Another way to control your nafs is to reduce the amount you eat... (this is another topic).

In this world that we live in being quiet isn't a commendable act but in Islam we are constantly told not to talk unless we have something good to say. In reality the person who talks less is the real winner but at the same time sis we need a moderation in everything we do. We can't be in the extreme.

Are you wanting to change yourself? Or are you looking for work-related suggestions to fit your situation?

And I do agree with you. Conventional medicine is NOT the answer.

I found a really nice dua that has helped some people who are in a similar situation...

Try and analyse yourself. Are you more anxious around people you know? People you don't know? A certain character? A certain community?...

Recite Allah's swt. names over and over again and insha Allah it will bring peace to your heart. Know that Allah swt is the Most High and the Most Powerful and He swt can change all hearts and conditions. I guess the more we focus on negativity the more negative the outcome becomes. Try not to focus on the anxiety and focus on the zikar of Allah swt and in time this will help you combat the situation.



I hope this helps. Sorry if my answer is not cohesive.

I wish you happiness and peace.

Asalamualykum
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hinabutt
06-29-2018, 09:48 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by ahmed.younes
Stop sinning, repent to allah, and increase in your worship i.e reading Quran, prayer, thikr... I used to have the same issue, but alhmadulilah after I cut out all my regular sinning, and made repentance, I am gradually getting better in all aspects of life.

Ibn taymiiyah said (ra); If someone fears other than Allah, then know he has a sickness or disease, in his heart. So, seek aid with Allah to clean your heart, and revise your islam... Perhaps you have got a few things wrong.. Refer back to the authentic textual evidences, and to the righteous predeccors, and Salafi scholars..
Completely agreed. Beautiful thoughts put into words :)
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Zzz_
06-30-2018, 04:10 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
The IT field seems to come up the most in terms of being able to work alone, specifically programming. I feel like you have to live and breath IT stuff in order to be successful at it because of it rapidly changing, so I don't know if I can make it.
.
It's really not that hard to get into it. There are tons of resources available online, including free ones. There's also this program you do (you can do certificate or non-certificate)

https://academy.microsoft.com/en-us/...e-development/
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MuslimInshallah
07-04-2018, 08:48 AM
(smile) Assalaamu alaikum, my dear,


Hmm... you remind me of a couple of my children, including one who is officially diagnosed as autistic. I don't know if this is relevant to you, but I'm offering this thought in case it may be of help.

Please be reassured that having a diagnosis doesn't mean there is something wrong with you. It just means you fall into a particular pattern on the human spectrum. Knowing the details of this pattern, and the ways that other people who have this pattern have found to cope with the things that are bothering you could be useful. Also, more and more employers are becoming aware of the great potential that people on the autism spectrum have to offer when they are not forced to try to fit into the standard corporate box. The employers are therefore making accommodations for people recognized as being on the spectrum.

If you are interested in following up on this possibility, you could contact a psychologist trained in Asperger's/ autism for an evaluation. And if you are not on the autism spectrum... (smile) then perhaps a psychologist could help you figure out what is happening, and how you can best deal with whatever it is.


May God, the Opener, Bless you and Gift you with clarity.
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