Assalaam ‘Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu
If your a loser and nobody wants to marry you, what should you do in islam? What does islam advise to somebody like this?
Is it okay to pay for sex at this point if you have no other options?
Imam Ahmad (21708) narrated that Abu Umaamah said:
A young man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, “O Messenger of Allaah, give me permission to commit zina.” The people turned to him to rebuke him, saying, “Shh, shh.” (The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)) said, “Come here.” So he came close to him and he told him to sit down. He said, “Would you like that for your mother?” He said, “No, by Allaah, may I be sacrificed for you.” He said, “Nor do people like it for their mothers.” He said, “Would you like it for your daughter?” He said, “No, by Allaah, may I be sacrificed for you.” He said, “Nor do people like it for their daughters.” He said, “Would you like it for your sister?” He said, “No, by Allaah, may I be sacrificed for you.” He said, “Nor do people like it for their sisters.” He said, “Would you like it for your paternal aunt?” He said, “No, by Allaah, may I be sacrificed for you.” He said, “Nor do people like it for their paternal aunts.” He said, “Would you like it for your maternal aunt?” He said, “No, by Allaah, may I be sacrificed for you.” He said, “Nor do people like it for their maternal aunts.” Then he placed his hand on him and said, “O Allaah, forgive his sin, purify his heart, and guard his chastity.” And after that, this young man never did anything. (Imam Ahmed)
In another narration, the Prophet said to him,
“Then hate what Allah has hated, and love for your brother what you love for yourself.” (Imam Ahmed)
You do not have a concession for committing zina.
As for being a loser, then If you seek to please Allah by reforming your character, you won’t be a loser.
"Successful indeed are the believers. Those who with their Salaat (prayers) are Khashi'oon. And those who turn away from al-Lagw (vain speech). And those who pay the Zakaat. And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts). Except from their wives or (captives and slaves) what their right hands possess, - for then, they are free from blame; but whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors; those who are faithfully true to their Amanah and to their covenants; and those who strictly guard their Salaat. These are indeed the inheritors. Who shall inherit the Firdaus, they shall dwell therein forever." (al-Muminun: 1-11)
If you strive to acquire these characteristics (including guarding your chastity) then no one will have a right to call you a loser, not even you.
The true loser is the one who anger’s Allah. Sins lead to a loss of Iman which leads to humiliation and disgrace in this life and the hereafter.
The sin of zina specifically has been mentioned as one which expels a person from the ranks of the Mumineen. This is mentioned in the ayah listed above as well as elsewhere.
“No fornicator/adulterer is a believer at the time when he is committing fornication/adultery.” (Bukhari & Muslim)
“If a man commits zina, faith comes out of him and hovers over him like a cloud, then when he stops, faith returns to him.” (Abu Dawud & at-Tirmidhi)
Bro, let me ask you, do you think that if you were to go ahead with this, then everything would be easier? If you were to actually commit zina (wa ‘Authoobillah), what then? Everything would be just fine and wonderful? You would finally breathe a fresh air of relief? Your desires and longing would finally be completely satisfied for the rest of your life? Nah! Your desire would be more than before. You’re going to want to do it again even more, like the next day. If there is anything that I have learned about the sexual desire is that it is a beast that needs to be kept on a short leash.
You’re not going to find solace from a prostitute or fornicatress. The only solace you could ever hope of having a chance of finding in this arena is a good righteous Muslim wife. You can kiss that righteous wife goodbye (which is the only kind of kiss you will ever get from her) if you went through with committing zina:
"The fornicator does not marry except a [female] fornicator or polytheist, and none marries her except a fornicator or a polytheist, and that has been made unlawful to the believers." (an-Noor: 3)
As far as finding a good righteous wife is concerned, then it should be understood that women are a part of this Dunya:
“Beautified for people is the love of that which they desire - of women and sons, heaped-up sums of gold and silver, fine branded horses, and cattle and tilled land. That is the enjoyment of worldly life, but Allah has with Him the best return.” (al-Imran: 14)
And as a part of Dunya, they follow the same rule that goes with the rest of Dunya:
Zaid ibn Thabit reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said,
“Whoever makes the world his greatest concern, Allah will confound his affairs and make poverty appear before his eyes and he will not get anything from the world except what has been decreed for him. Whoever makes the Hereafter his most important matter, Allah will settle his affairs and make him content in his heart and the world will come to him although he does not want it.” (Ibn Mājah)
Sex is not the best thing that a human can experience in this life. Far from it.
On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (RadhiyAllahu ‘anhu) who said: The Messenger of Allah (SallaAllahu ‘alayhi wasallam) said,
“Verily Allah (Glorified may he be) has said: ‘Whosoever shows enmity to a wali (friend) of Mine, then I have declared war against him. And My servant does not draw near to Me with anything more beloved to Me than the religious duties I have obligated upon him. And My servant continues to draw near to me with nafil (supererogatory) deeds until I Love him. When I Love him, I become his hearing with which he hears, and his sight with which he sees, and his hand with which he strikes, and his foot with which he walks. Were he to ask [something] of Me, I would surely give it to him; and were he to seek refuge with Me, I would surely grant him refuge.’ ” (Bukhari)
Ibn Taymiyyah said,
"Truly, there is a Heaven in this world, [and] whoever does not enter it, will not enter the Heaven of the next world."
And the statement of Ibn Qayyim who quoted from another:
"If kings and the sons of kings knew what we had, they would try to take it from us by the sword!"
Be patient ya Ikhwan! Be patient!