21st Marriage

[xboxisdead]

[Zafran]

salaam

You need to stay away from the MRA and red pill Garbage - you could make an entire skit of men cheating against there wife. The entire thing is just pure propaganda.

[xboxisdead]

salaam

You need to stay away from the MRA and red pill Garbage - you could make an entire skit of men cheating against there wife. The entire thing is just pure propaganda.

I understand brother, but we need to be careful not to give a standard where boys and young men feel that they cannot express their distress or emotion in fear of being under shaming tactic attack on them or give them the illusion that they have it easier or or or...this is very dangerous formula that will in future bite the entire community hard. Be careful if you do this..the number of boys wanting to become girls will increase..the amount of transsexual will go in fold and the amount of hormonal therapy will become rampant because then they believe the only way they can express themselves is if they are female. Is that standard you wish to give? Second of all just because you can make an entire skit of men cheating on their wives by all mean does not devalue this skit in anyway. This thinking again gives the illusion that no matter what a boy faces a girl could face worse and thus his issues is irrelevant compared to hers.

This will...generate...a poisonous..formula and an oppressive one towards men in ways you cannot fathom. Last I checked, Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) HATES PEOPLE WHO OPPRESSES. Do not...do not...do not.....make this mistake. Because ones young men and boys realize they cannot in anyway..express their feelings because a girl can go through worse therefore his feelings is irrelevant and you compare yourself to girl's issues thus your issues is insignificant compared to her issues will make the boy a nice..well pot that will explode in either violence, drugs, gangs, and mass shootings. Your approach on this matter is wrongly done. Instead of shaming tactics and throwing red pill...instead say.. "Yes. It is true. There is oppression going on here to towards men as well in family court and family law and marriage in the West. This is wrong. This haraam. A wife should not be nagging to her husband. A wife should make his life easy, nor she should cheat on him." from there you should start saying we need to go back to the proper Islamic way and from there post ahadeth and videos of how a wife and husband should act and and and and..and say Alahmdolillah we are Muslimeen and that Islam have given justice to everyone and so on.

Make it so..that when young men and boys come here and read this...they feel.."I have a place to talk. I have a place to express myself. I have a place to remove the toxic from my body and I know someone out there will listen to me and hear me and help me solve my problem and not somehow make me feel like my issue is light and insignificant." and especially not because I am born boy therefore I have it easy and all my problems does not compare to the opposite gender. Because if you go that route..then men and boys should be tortured and burned alive with pain because hey after all...women have it hard carrying you for nine month and going through pain delivering your baby..the pain of burning and torturing cannot compare to the pain of the mother. Is that how you want to start comparing things? I am not saying men don't cheat or say talaq left and right without thinking and I am not saying men don't beat their wives, nor am I saying there are no emotionally abusive husbands out there. But I am also hoping you are not saying that if these situations occur to men where they are physically abused or emotionally abused that you should take it lightly because women and wives go through this as well.

Because if you are saying that, then you are no different than the husband who beat his wife. An oppression one does not justify an oppression of another. There are truth on that skit. Not denying it. Let it be an eye opener instead of putting aside because men cheat. Let us learn from that skit and know that yes, that can happen and does happen and often does happen what we should do is lean from this and see how to handle the problem and know that it is not funny, it is not a joke and no men should...MAN UP and take it either.

[shafat10]

This is not an example of an Islamic society so is it necessary to post it here?

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[xboxisdead]

This is not an example of an Islamic society so is it necessary to post it here?

Of course! Because it is happening in Muslim community in the West in Canada. Now..if I am living in Middle East where they follow proper Islamic law...I will not even think twice about it. But alas..I only make 18K a year imsadimsad I cannot move to Middle East and live there. So I am living here in West where it is happening in broad mass. How do I know? Well....I will tell you the truth...I am not lying...

one day I went to the mosque and met a sheikh he was sitting on the floor chatting with other men...and I expressed this very stress issue to him ..live person to person and not some binary 0's and 1's in post form. He smiled and other men sitting in the meeting was listening to me and nodded in agreement and the shiekh even laughed a little with what I said. After I finished..he said yes this is exactly happens in Muslim community too in the BC (that is where I live) and he told me a horror story of many hundreds. He said there was this brother who had a disagreement with this wife and you know how wives are...the man can't take it anymore..so he decided to leave the house to calm down and relax before something serious happens...so he left. The wife decided to plot a scheme to take his house and kids..so what she did...she got this man (I don't know how he knows him) and made him come to her house and make act (inappropriate) when the husband entered the house to cause a fume. So the husband naturally did a normal reaction start fighting with the guy (the plot the wife wanted to happen)...she got the police at her husband..have him arrested..said he did domestic violence to her and to her kid and this proofs because of his aggression to this man..he went to prison. Now he lost his house and access to his daughter and he is kicked. I interrupted the man when he said he have a daughter...I said to him, "Oh! A daughter! Now that is even ten times worse! Because she can say he molested his daughter and this comes out really bad!" and then I let him continue his story. He said this is one of the hundred horror stories he hears in Muslim community in Canada, in BC. I live in Surrey.

So point is...it is necessary to post this here...because I want a place for Muslim men to know that this skit is not just happening to non-Muslim men..but to Muslim men too. To any men, period. I am living in Canada. What is happening here is going to affect me. I cannot leave to Middle East because it is in constant war and there is no good place to work and get good education and live there. I do not have also the financial mean to move there.

[Zafran]

I understand brother, but we need to be careful not to give a standard where boys and young men feel that they cannot express their distress or emotion in fear of being under shaming tactic attack on them or give them the illusion that they have it easier or or or...this is very dangerous formula that will in future bite the entire community hard. Be careful if you do this..the number of boys wanting to become girls will increase..the amount of transsexual will go in fold and the amount of hormonal therapy will become rampant because then they believe the only way they can express themselves is if they are female. Is that standard you wish to give? Second of all just because you can make an entire skit of men cheating on their wives by all mean does not devalue this skit in anyway. This thinking again gives the illusion that no matter what a boy faces a girl could face worse and thus his issues is irrelevant compared to hers.

No it wont - transgender people have always existed for 1000s of years - different cultures have handled them differently. Just because the LGBTQ community promote it it does not mean that this is the normative culture - normative culture still is man and women - talk to real people and don't just watch weird media outlets.

The skit is propaganda and has no basis in reality. No relationship breaks or works like this.

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This will...generate...a poisonous..formula and an oppressive one towards men in ways you cannot fathom. Last I checked, Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) HATES PEOPLE WHO OPPRESSES. Do not...do not...do not.....make this mistake. Because ones young men and boys realize they cannot in anyway..express their feelings because a girl can go through worse therefore his feelings is irrelevant and you compare yourself to girl's issues thus your issues is insignificant compared to her issues will make the boy a nice..well pot that will explode in either violence, drugs, gangs, and mass shootings. Your approach on this matter is wrongly done. Instead of shaming tactics and throwing red pill...instead say.. "Yes. It is true. There is oppression going on here to towards men as well in family court and family law and marriage in the West. This is wrong. This haraam. A wife should not be nagging to her husband. A wife should make his life easy, nor she should cheat on him." from there you should start saying we need to go back to the proper Islamic way and from there post ahadeth and videos of how a wife and husband should act and and and and..and say Alahmdolillah we are Muslimeen and that Islam have given justice to everyone and so on.

For starters men and women do not have the same roles in Islam. Men need to be men and women need to be women and collaborate with one another and not run for the "oppressive marathon" - life is a test and so is marriage - so you have to deal with it through Hope, Thankfulness and fortitude.

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Make it so..that when young men and boys come here and read this...they feel.."I have a place to talk. I have a place to express myself. I have a place to remove the toxic from my body and I know someone out there will listen to me and hear me and help me solve my problem and not somehow make me feel like my issue is light and insignificant." and especially not because I am born boy therefore I have it easy and all my problems does not compare to the opposite gender. Because if you go that route..then men and boys should be tortured and burned alive with pain because hey after all...women have it hard carrying you for nine month and going through pain delivering your baby..the pain of burning and torturing cannot compare to the pain of the mother. Is that how you want to start comparing things? I am not saying men don't cheat or say talaq left and right without thinking and I am not saying men don't beat their wives, nor am I saying there are no emotionally abusive husbands out there. But I am also hoping you are not saying that if these situations occur to men where they are physically abused or emotionally abused that you should take it lightly because women and wives go through this as well.

If your going through psychological/ emotional issues then you should talk about it to relevant people. Not go on some alt right/MRA red pill weird part of the net.

[xboxisdead]

No it wont - transgender people have always existed for 1000s of years - different cultures have handled them differently. Just because the LGBTQ community promote it it does not mean that this is the normative culture - normative culture still is man and women - talk to real people and don't just watch weird media outlets.

The skit is propaganda and has no basis in reality. No relationship breaks or works like this.

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For starters men and women do not have the same roles in Islam. Men need to be men and women need to be women and collaborate with one another and not run for the "oppressive marathon" - life is a test and so is marriage - so you have to deal with it through Hope, Thankfulness and fortitude.

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If your going through psychological/ emotional issues then you should talk about it to relevant people. Not go on some alt right/MRA red pill weird part of the net.

I agree in every one of your replies ;D

[keiv]

Of course! Because it is happening in Muslim community in the West in Canada. Now..if I am living in Middle East where they follow proper Islamic law...I will not even think twice about it. But alas..I only make 18K a year imsadimsad I cannot move to Middle East and live there. So I am living here in West where it is happening in broad mass. How do I know? Well....I will tell you the truth...I am not lying...

one day I went to the mosque and met a sheikh he was sitting on the floor chatting with other men...and I expressed this very stress issue to him ..live person to person and not some binary 0's and 1's in post form. He smiled and other men sitting in the meeting was listening to me and nodded in agreement and the shiekh even laughed a little with what I said. After I finished..he said yes this is exactly happens in Muslim community too in the BC (that is where I live) and he told me a horror story of many hundreds. He said there was this brother who had a disagreement with this wife and you know how wives are...the man can't take it anymore..so he decided to leave the house to calm down and relax before something serious happens...so he left. The wife decided to plot a scheme to take his house and kids..so what she did...she got this man (I don't know how he knows him) and made him come to her house and make act (inappropriate) when the husband entered the house to cause a fume. So the husband naturally did a normal reaction start fighting with the guy (the plot the wife wanted to happen)...she got the police at her husband..have him arrested..said he did domestic violence to her and to her kid and this proofs because of his aggression to this man..he went to prison. Now he lost his house and access to his daughter and he is kicked. I interrupted the man when he said he have a daughter...I said to him, "Oh! A daughter! Now that is even ten times worse! Because she can say he molested his daughter and this comes out really bad!" and then I let him continue his story. He said this is one of the hundred horror stories he hears in Muslim community in Canada, in BC. I live in Surrey.

So point is...it is necessary to post this here...because I want a place for Muslim men to know that this skit is not just happening to non-Muslim men..but to Muslim men too. To any men, period. I am living in Canada. What is happening here is going to affect me. I cannot leave to Middle East because it is in constant war and there is no good place to work and get good education and live there. I do not have also the financial mean to move there.

This definitely happens in the Middle East. In Palestine, I had a family member whose wife left him for someone she met on facebook and she didn't want anything to do with the kids. The free mixing and cheating that goes on there is overwhelming. It wouldn't surprise me if this happened elsewhere in the Middle East.

You need to stay away from the MRA and red pill Garbage - you could make an entire skit of men cheating against there wife. The entire thing is just pure propaganda.
The skit is propaganda and has no basis in reality. No relationship breaks or works like this.

You're living under a rock if you think this is not reality. Men and women cheat on each other all the time. I don't think anyone is disputing that, nor should they. The reality of the post is that there are times (probably more often than not) where the man is the one who loses everything, as depicted in the graphic above, for essentially doing nothing wrong.

[xboxisdead]

This definitely happens in the Middle East. In Palestine, I had a family member whose wife left him for someone she met on facebook and she didn't want anything to do with the kids. The free mixing and cheating that goes on there is overwhelming. It wouldn't surprise me if this happened elsewhere in the Middle East.



You're living under a rock if you think this is not reality. Men and women cheat on each other all the time. I don't think anyone is disputing that, nor should they. The reality of the post is that there are times (probably more often than not) where the man is the one who loses everything, as depicted in the graphic above, for essentially doing nothing wrong.

THANK YOU!! ;D;D;D And if we men do not talk about it we give the illusion that only women are the victim and men are the predator and that men have it easy and women not and we repeat the cycle of oppression and then men feel they cannot talk...that is what I was saying along! Then when men explode like a bomb we blame the Y chromosome and say men are violent by nature and and and ...we never solve any problem and the cycle of oppression continues!

But when men like you talk...I am happy! ;D I feel the pressure is releasing like that of a presto pot...fffffffffffffeeeeeeee!! ;D;D

[JustTime]

This is not an example of an Islamic society so is it necessary to post it here?

In an ideal Islamic society no, in reality with increased globalization and mass migration from Islamic majority countries it is a very real reality.

[Futuwwa]

salaam

You need to stay away from the MRA and red pill Garbage - you could make an entire skit of men cheating against there wife. The entire thing is just pure propaganda.

I would say that the MRA/redpill/Manosphere etc is half right. The sexual nature of both men and women is such that it sometimes leads to immorality if followed. While contemporary Western society (rightly, for the most part) reviles men who follow their basest impulses, it simultaneously either makes excuses for women when they do it, or outright denies that they do. The Manosphere may have turned into a crazy, self-reinforcing, self-radicalizing echo chamber by now, but I do think it has stumbled on some truths that have been part forgotten, part suppressed.

[xboxisdead]

I would say that the MRA/redpill/Manosphere etc is half right. The sexual nature of both men and women is such that it sometimes leads to immorality if followed. While contemporary Western society (rightly, for the most part) reviles men who follow their basest impulses, it simultaneously either makes excuses for women when they do it, or outright denies that they do. The Manosphere may have turned into a crazy, self-reinforcing, self-radicalizing echo chamber by now, but I do think it has stumbled on some truths that have been part forgotten, part suppressed.

But it is more than just this truth that is being suppressed or part forgotten. It is that no one cares to change it ...just shows how much men are truly devalued and disrespected as a whole and we are nothing more than a replaceable commodity that can be replenished with new numbers. Isn't that sufficient to be insulting? Isn't that sufficient to indicate that men are truly slaves...but here it shows men are not slaves of Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) but slaves of other men and women and slaves of society. Is that what you want to be? Slave of the creation of Allah and not the creator who created you. What do you think you will be in the afterlife when you know you are content to be slave of the creation of Allah and not the creator who created you? By shunning down and accepting this we have enslaved our mines and accepted to be slave of people and submit to people's wills and desires until the very people destroy us.

There are other factors that things like MRA/RedPill and Manosphere will replenish and be strong and have valid point...look at the street and see how many homeless men are out there. Not one of them are in the newspaper, media or have programs to solve the problem and bring these men back into society. HAVE ONE SINGLE female homeless it is talked on in shiekhs lecture and posted in news and media and society will go from top to bottom to help fix the problem. The list of double standard and oppression towards men are endless and I can write 1000 page booklet about it and I have not even finished.

I hope we don't think that will make us into strong men and men should man up and take it like a man...and he should be strong and this indicate why men are dominant sex. Because if you are going to go that way I am afraid I am going to slap you on the back of your head and call you names. I am just pointing out this is not one simple issue here..it is an endless cycle of issues of oppression and injustice.

By the way...for people who said this is not happening in Islamic society so it is irrelevant topic...you are wrong. Saudi Arabia and other Arabic countries are already becoming Westernized...this is your future that skit is your new world order. What are you going to do about it? Accept it as the new norm?

[xboxisdead]

What is your opinion concerning the above video?

[Zafran]

I would say that the MRA/redpill/Manosphere etc is half right. The sexual nature of both men and women is such that it sometimes leads to immorality if followed. While contemporary Western society (rightly, for the most part) reviles men who follow their basest impulses, it simultaneously either makes excuses for women when they do it, or outright denies that they do. The Manosphere may have turned into a crazy, self-reinforcing, self-radicalizing echo chamber by now, but I do think it has stumbled on some truths that have been part forgotten, part suppressed.

Its an extreme reaction to extreme feminism. Furthermore the west has no practical decorum of how men and women should act with each other, especially if they take the feminist view of sex and gender. The Christians even though they may have been extreme pre 1960s at least had an Idea of how men and women were meant to act, Today the rules keep changing purely on what secular Liberalism deems to be appropriate - right now its feminism and the MRA/red pillers are just reacting to it with no solutions whatsoever. I dont think they will find a solution with any secular philosophy.

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You're living under a rock if you think this is not reality. Men and women cheat on each other all the time. I don't think anyone is disputing that, nor should they. The reality of the post is that there are times (probably more often than not) where the man is the one who loses everything, as depicted in the graphic above, for essentially doing nothing wrong.

No man is that perfect as the skit portrays and neither is any women. Men and women need to work together collaboratively otherwise the human race is screwed. I honestly blame the secular capitalist paradigm for this. If a humans worth is only financial and both men and women have exactly the same worth (even though there are glaring differences) then we have something seriously wrong and dangerous. This is where the feminist/MRA/red pillers are just crazy reactionaries within this paradigm.

Islam acknowledges differences and similarities orientates us to a higher Goal (being a Godly person) and not just worrying about the horizontal (money and wealth). The solution is in not competing with each other for worldly gain (men and women) but collaboratively working together (Islam). Marriage and finding a family is very important here.

[xboxisdead]

Its an extreme reaction to extreme feminism. Furthermore the west has no practical decorum of how men and women should act with each other, especially if they take the feminist view of sex and gender. The Christians even though they may have been extreme pre 1960s at least had an Idea of how men and women were meant to act, Today the rules keep changing purely on what secular Liberalism deems to be appropriate - right now its feminism and the MRA/red pillers are just reacting to it with no solutions whatsoever. I dont think they will find a solution with any secular philosophy.

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No man is that perfect as the skit portrays and neither is any women. Men and women need to work together collaboratively otherwise the human race is screwed. I honestly blame the secular capitalist paradigm for this. If a humans worth is only financial and both men and women have exactly the same worth (even though there are glaring differences) then we have something seriously wrong and dangerous. This is where the feminist/MRA/red pillers are just crazy reactionaries within this paradigm.

Islam acknowledges differences and similarities orientates us to a higher Goal (being a Godly person) and not just worrying about the horizontal (money and wealth). The solution is in not competing with each other for worldly gain (men and women) but collaboratively working together (Islam). Marriage and finding a family is very important here.

Yes, but for me I feel that my role as a man, husband and father is worthless. Very hard to convince me in particular to build family. Unless you want to redefine family to suit the new standard and it could be two women or a single mom or a woman and a dog as family then that is different. You can also define a family, a mother and her mother and her grandmother no man in the house and they are raising children on their own and you define that as a family. You could also say that a single mother on her own, having children, going outside and working and taking care of the affair on her own as a family and thus you open a door where there will be single mothers on purpose who wish to be strong, independent women who can have it all...as a family.

But then you can also say gay couples as family or a single dad as a family or.....

By the way? No way said men are perfect. We are just saying this a major problem effecting men and there is no real solution to the problem as you clearly showed in your reply here.

[Zafran]

Yes, but for me I feel that my role as a man, husband and father is worthless. Very hard to convince me in particular to build family. Unless you want to redefine family to suit the new standard and it could be two women or a single mom or a woman and a dog as family then that is different. You can also define a family, a mother and her mother and her grandmother no man in the house and they are raising children on their own and you define that as a family. You could also say that a single mother on her own, having children, going outside and working and taking care of the affair on her own as a family and thus you open a door where there will be single mothers on purpose who wish to be strong, independent women who can have it all...as a family.

what are you looking for exactly, are you married? is this with personal experience or MRA stuff?

By the way? No way said men are perfect. We are just saying this a major problem effecting men and there is no real solution to the problem as you clearly showed in your reply here.

Yes there is, Its to reach for a higher goal together with a women with similar Goals rater then relying on secular liberal feminists or MRA types which only end up creating a full on war with the sexes/gender.

[xboxisdead]

what are you looking for exactly, are you married? is this with personal experience or MRA stuff?

Al-hamdolillah I am not married! :D It is a great blessing! It is not MRA stuff it is how I see men and husbands and fathers and what they have to go through...it is not very appealing to be honest. There is no glory and pleasure in any of these roles and the pain is just no worth it. We are even working on stripping husband's right that Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) have given him...and make him no different than any person in marriage. So really. He is burden with responsibilities and expectations only and no benefit behind it. Now marriage and husband and father is nothing but....burden. Excess and unnecessary responsibility and expectations and be a man and be tough and be and be...and that is it. You are pretty much..like a stake meat where people just put their teeth on you and bite you until you are left as nothing but bones and thrown in the dumpster for the flies and maggots to eat you. You find endless lectures about mother's right and mom's value and Janna under her feet and it comes strong and powerful..but not much about husband's value like that of a mother and it doesn't come as strong as mother's right and in fact it comes out that now as oppressive to women and blah blah blah.

Too much eak! Too much..bleagh...not worth it. Children will go their mothers anyways..and in the end if a divorce happen she can brain wash them to hate their fathers and no one really cares..bleacgh...yuck. Not interested. At the end of all that..some smart mouth person will say..well mothers go so much...as a man you have to accept your hardship it doesn't come close to what mothers do...so another guilt trip of reasons why we should step on men's heads and treat them like garbage.....pfft. Honestly...my biggest fantasy THAT ALL men don't get married and have children and just focus on themselves...focus on their happiness...focus on their success and doing good and forming friends and empowering themselves. If they must have gets there are millions and millions of children without family..they can sponsor them and they live under his same roof.

Those men in my opinion are heroes in my eyes...because there is no self centered desire to spread his DNA. That he is willing to sacrifice his lineage to help a stranger...to give a better life to a stranger...that he is not following his carnal desires to have sex with woman...that he is willing to not have a female in his life and sacrifice his life for this poor child who does not feel the world love him.

I think..that is not a bad idea! I don't see a banner out there that says "Husbands! They do so much to maintain families! Husbands! They withstand abuse from their wives to keep a unity together!" Or some chant and music about husbands (because I doubt there will be for fathers). But you hear them all the time about wives and mothers. So it is....not appealing. Not alluring. Nothing attractive.

You suppose to sacrifice and work hard and have responsibilities to be a man! You must take it like a man! You have to be strong! blah blah blah...aaagh...I nearly feel like I am about to vomit in a bag.

Yes there is, Its to reach for a higher goal together with a women with similar Goals rater then relying on secular liberal feminists or MRA types which only end up creating a full on war with the sexes/gender.

I am surprised we are reinventing our wheels when the answer is already in Qura'an in Sunnah as it is. The reason you even typed that sentence is because we are moving astray. You want to work together with women...like you said? Qura'an. Sunni.

[fschmidt]

I support feminism because feminism is the disease that will kill the West, putting an end to this degenerate culture. All Islam has to do is to resist feminism, and it will win.

[xboxisdead]

I support feminism because feminism is the disease that will kill the West, putting an end to this degenerate culture. All Islam has to do is to resist feminism, and it will win.

Your approach on this matter is completely wrong. If you have a spoiled apple and it is sitting between 100,000,000 healthy apples that spoiled apple will turn all the other apples spoiled like it. That one spoiled apple is not going to rot on it's own and kill itself. A proof to my metaphor is observe Saudi Arabia and other Arabic countries.

[Zafran]

Al-hamdolillah I am not married! It is a great blessing! It is not MRA stuff it is how I see men and husbands and fathers and what they have to go through...it is not very appealing to be honest. There is no glory and pleasure in any of these roles and the pain is just no worth it. We are even working on stripping husband's right that Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) have given him...and make him no different than any person in marriage. So really. He is burden with responsibilities and expectations only and no benefit behind it. Now marriage and husband and father is nothing but....burden. Excess and unnecessary responsibility and expectations and be a man and be tough and be and be...and that is it. You are pretty much..like a stake meat where people just put their teeth on you and bite you until you are left as nothing but bones and thrown in the dumpster for the flies and maggots to eat you. You find endless lectures about mother's right and mom's value and Janna under her feet and it comes strong and powerful..but not much about husband's value like that of a mother and it doesn't come as strong as mother's right and in fact it comes out that now as oppressive to women and blah blah blah.

You seem to be very pessimistic and have already given up. This is not the way of Islam - which is to be optimistic and carry on with the sunnah, which is worship God and get married. Nothing in life is meant to be easy or even rewarding in the short term - life has to be cultivated and shared with a family and community. Not be like the MRA and give up - the Prophets, companions, saints did not have it easy but with fortitude and persistence they succeeded - we need to do the same.

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Too much eak! Too much..bleagh...not worth it. Children will go their mothers anyways..and in the end if a divorce happen she can brain wash them to hate their fathers and no one really cares..bleacgh...yuck. Not interested. At the end of all that..some smart mouth person will say..well mothers go so much...as a man you have to accept your hardship it doesn't come close to what mothers do...so another guilt trip of reasons why we should step on men's heads and treat them like garbage.....pfft. Honestly...my biggest fantasy THAT ALL men don't get married and have children and just focus on themselves...focus on their happiness...focus on their success and doing good and forming friends and empowering themselves. If they must have gets there are millions and millions of children without family..they can sponsor them and they live under his same roof.

Those men in my opinion are heroes in my eyes...because there is no self centered desire to spread his DNA. That he is willing to sacrifice his lineage to help a stranger...to give a better life to a stranger...that he is not following his carnal desires to have sex with woman...that he is willing to not have a female in his life and sacrifice his life for this poor child who does not feel the world love him

They are not heroes - they are far from it as they have given up on life. Not exactly people to look up to.

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I think..that is not a bad idea! I don't see a banner out there that says "Husbands! They do so much to maintain families! Husbands! They withstand abuse from their wives to keep a unity together!" Or some chant and music about husbands (because I doubt there will be for fathers). But you hear them all the time about wives and mothers. So it is....not appealing. Not alluring. Nothing attractive.

You suppose to sacrifice and work hard and have responsibilities to be a man! You must take it like a man! You have to be strong! blah blah blah...aaagh...I nearly feel like I am about to vomit in a bag.

Taking responsibility and and seeing through trails and tribulations is what life is about. This is exactly what a Muslim should expect. Keep on the sunnah and come out strong in this life and the afterlife. You also seem to think that life is easier on your own - its much harder especially when one goes old and grey.

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I am surprised we are reinventing our wheels when the answer is already in Qura'an in Sunnah as it is. The reason you even typed that sentence is because we are moving astray. You want to work together with women...like you said? Qura'an. Sunni.

what do you expect to give up like the red pillers? Muslims dont do that - we carry on and try to hold up with the Quran and sunnah even when things are tough and going astray.

[xboxisdead]

what do you expect to give up like the red pillers? Muslims dont do that - we carry on and try to hold up with the Quran and sunnah even when things are tough and going astray.

hehe! That is what I said :D We need to follow the Quran and Sunnah ;D.

Wait a minute!? You are saying sponsoring a child to live under your roof and you taking care of him and raising him well and sacrificing your own desires is not a hero? :o:o:o I am missing something ^o)

P.S "Brother, you erm...made a typo :embarrass. You typed "warship" instead of "worship"."

[AbuAsiyah]

"Allah does not like the public mention of evil except by one who has been wronged. And ever is Allah Hearing and Knowing." (an-Nisa: 148)

As far as the evil tendencies of men and women are concerned, then I remember a statement of the Prophet :saws1: where he said something along the lines of beware of the oppression of men and the beguilement of women. I can't seem to find the hadith anywhere. If someone could find the hadith for me and post it I would be very appreciative.

[eesa the kiwi]

Asalamu alaikum rahmatulah wa barakatu


It was narrated from Aishah that:
the Messenger of Allah said: “Marriage is part of my sunnah, and whoever does not follow my sunnah has nothing to do with me. Get married, for I will boast of your great numbers before the nations. Whoever has the means, let him get married, and whoever does not, then he should fast for it will diminish his desire.”
حَدَّثَنَا أَحْمَدُ بْنُ الأَزْهَرِ، حَدَّثَنَا آدَمُ، حَدَّثَنَا عِيسَى بْنُ مَيْمُونٍ، عَنِ الْقَاسِمِ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، قَالَتْ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ ‏ "‏ النِّكَاحُ مِنْ سُنَّتِي فَمَنْ لَمْ يَعْمَلْ بِسُنَّتِي فَلَيْسَ مِنِّي وَتَزَوَّجُوا فَإِنِّي مُكَاثِرٌ بِكُمُ الأُمَمَ وَمَنْ كَانَ ذَا طَوْلٍ فَلْيَنْكِحْ وَمَنْ لَمْ يَجِدْ فَعَلَيْهِ بِالصِّيَامِ فَإِنَّ الصَّوْمَ لَهُ وِجَاءٌ ‏"‏ ‏.‏
Grade : Hasan (Darussalam)

[xboxisdead]

Asalamu alaikum rahmatulah wa barakatu


It was narrated from Aishah that:
the Messenger of Allah said: “Marriage is part of my sunnah, and whoever does not follow my sunnah has nothing to do with me. Get married, for I will boast of your great numbers before the nations. Whoever has the means, let him get married, and whoever does not, then he should fast for it will diminish his desire.”
حَدَّثَنَا أَحْمَدُ بْنُ الأَزْهَرِ، حَدَّثَنَا آدَمُ، حَدَّثَنَا عِيسَى بْنُ مَيْمُونٍ، عَنِ الْقَاسِمِ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، قَالَتْ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ ‏ "‏ النِّكَاحُ مِنْ سُنَّتِي فَمَنْ لَمْ يَعْمَلْ بِسُنَّتِي فَلَيْسَ مِنِّي وَتَزَوَّجُوا فَإِنِّي مُكَاثِرٌ بِكُمُ الأُمَمَ وَمَنْ كَانَ ذَا طَوْلٍ فَلْيَنْكِحْ وَمَنْ لَمْ يَجِدْ فَعَلَيْهِ بِالصِّيَامِ فَإِنَّ الصَّوْمَ لَهُ وِجَاءٌ ‏"‏ ‏.‏
Grade : Hasan (Darussalam)

Look at these stats my friend obtain from the comment posted under this youtube video:



"As per National Crime Records Bureau, 90% or more Domestic Violence cases/complaints in India are turning out to be false. Same is the case of Rape/Molestation/Harassment cases. Few examples of women misusing the law for their own benefit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rohtak...eo_controversy https://www.firstpost.com/india/time...e-2677810.html

The laws are so biased that misuse of the same has become a trend. Men suffer a lot - they are disowned by friends and relatives, lose their livelihood, are humiliated, etc. There has been cases where the man turned out to be innocent after 20 years of suffering. And the problem is, there is no provision to give any kind of compensation to the man and the woman who has misused laws, walks away scotfree.

1. Break-up from live-in relation - The woman may accuse the man of rape.
2. Break-up from live-in relation - Legally and technically, your partner is your wife.
3. The man files for divorce - He is accused of mental harassment
4. The man finds his wife cheating - There is no law to punish her. Instead she files a domestic violence complaint
5. You fire your maid - She files, rape complaint
6. You give feedback to your employee for underperformance - She files a sexual harassment complaint
7. Marry rich man, get him murdered. Take his money, property and insurance money. These are just a few scenarios, there are tons more. Advise - Be very careful and smart while dealing with women. And Indian women are the worst."

[eesa the kiwi]

Look at these stats my friend obtain from the comment posted under this youtube video:



"As per National Crime Records Bureau, 90% or more Domestic Violence cases/complaints in India are turning out to be false. Same is the case of Rape/Molestation/Harassment cases. Few examples of women misusing the law for their own benefit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rohtak...eo_controversy https://www.firstpost.com/india/time...e-2677810.html

The laws are so biased that misuse of the same has become a trend. Men suffer a lot - they are disowned by friends and relatives, lose their livelihood, are humiliated, etc. There has been cases where the man turned out to be innocent after 20 years of suffering. And the problem is, there is no provision to give any kind of compensation to the man and the woman who has misused laws, walks away scotfree.

1. Break-up from live-in relation - The woman may accuse the man of rape.
2. Break-up from live-in relation - Legally and technically, your partner is your wife.
3. The man files for divorce - He is accused of mental harassment
4. The man finds his wife cheating - There is no law to punish her. Instead she files a domestic violence complaint
5. You fire your maid - She files, rape complaint
6. You give feedback to your employee for underperformance - She files a sexual harassment complaint
7. Marry rich man, get him murdered. Take his money, property and insurance money. These are just a few scenarios, there are tons more. Advise - Be very careful and smart while dealing with women. And Indian women are the worst."

I give you a hadith from rasulullah sallaho wa sallam and you give me this nonsense

What is wrong with you?

[xboxisdead]

I give you a hadith from rasulullah sallaho wa sallam and you give me this nonsense

What is wrong with you?

I read the ahadeth and I believe in it and it is beautiful, no question about it. But I want us men to be smart when entering marriage and know it is not unicorn or ramboe. When you see video like these I am hoping we don't jump into marriage under the name of love, nor under she is pretty and diffidently not under through hormones. Nowadays marriage is infested with Fitna way worse than what it was in the day of the prophets. Nowadays the evil and fitna is worse and laws here are different than how it was in the day of prophets. So men have to becareful when entering marriage and make sure he can protect himself 100% just in case it goes haywire. However, I believe 100% in that ahadeth and I do want to complete half my deen but it is hard for me to do it when there is so much fitnah and my sanity is at risk. I love my sanity and I am emotional guy...these two combinations goes against me if I live in such laws like this where it gives ammunition for any evil woman to use the law against me. I get defensive fast and I get emotional and raise my voice when I talk defensive...all of these are weakness and ammunition for any wife to say, "My husband is verbally abusing to me.". A risk I am terrified to be at.

However, isn't there an aheedth that says if there is fitna in marriage do not get married? I am just curious. I am only asking because I want closure on this and not die thinking that there is such ahadeeth.

[AbuAsiyah]

I read the ahadeth and I believe in it and it is beautiful, no question about it. But I want us men to be smart when entering marriage and know it is not unicorn or ramboe. When you see video like these I am hoping we don't jump into marriage under the name of love, nor under she is pretty and diffidently not under through hormones. Nowadays marriage is infested with Fitna way worse than what it was in the day of the prophets. Nowadays the evil and fitna is worse and laws here are different than how it was in the day of prophets. So men have to becareful when entering marriage and make sure he can protect himself 100% just in case it goes haywire. However, I believe 100% in that ahadeth and I do want to complete half my deen but it is hard for me to do it when there is so much fitnah and my sanity is at risk. I love my sanity and I am emotional guy...these two combinations goes against me if I live in such laws like this where it gives ammunition for any evil woman to use the law against me. I get defensive fast and I get emotional and raise my voice when I talk defensive...all of these are weakness and ammunition for any wife to say, "My husband is verbally abusing to me.". A risk I am terrified to be at.

However, isn't there an aheedth that says if there is fitna in marriage do not get married? I am just curious. I am only asking because I want closure on this and not die thinking that there is such ahadeeth.

“A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Seek the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust. (Bukhari & Muslim)

Bro, my sincere, humble and firm advice for you or for any other Brother or Sister on this forum or anywhere in the world is to make a firm and determined intention that you will either marry someone whose deen is firm and sound or you do not marry at all.

I have seen enough failed marriages personally (I don't need statistics) and heard enough cases of people I know of personally of men who treat good women like garbage and crazy psycho women who are nothing but an overburdening misery for good men. I swear by Allah, it is better to be single and endure the hardship of celibacy and loneliness for a thousand years than to endure the constant company of some of these creatures who are nothing but a burden on their mates.

This is a rule of Dunya that we should all follow so that we can have both this world and the next:

Zaid ibn Thabit reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Whoever makes the world his greatest concern, Allah will confound his affairs and make poverty appear before his eyes and he will not get anything from the world except what has been decreed for him. Whoever makes the Hereafter his most important matter, Allah will settle his affairs and make him content in his heart and the world will come to him although he does not want it.” (Ibn Mājah)

InshaAllah, if you take this attitude, Allah ('Azza wa Jal) Will Give you a good wife who will be a comfort for you, not a painful, tormenting burden.

Of course, it goes without saying, that you yourself, should work on being a good man so as to be a good catch for a good sister. But this is all part of making the Akhirah your main concern anyway.
Also, even in good women, you will find flaws, and there will be issues. And this is to be expected. Even the Prophet :saws1: had issues with his wives. But with a good woman it's manageable.

Allahu 'Alim

[xboxisdead]

“A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Seek the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust. (Bukhari & Muslim)

Bro, my sincere, humble and firm advice for you or for any other Brother or Sister on this forum or anywhere in the world is to make a firm and determined intention that you will either marry someone whose deen is firm and sound or you do not marry at all.

I have seen enough failed marriages personally (I don't need statistics) and heard enough cases of people I know of personally of men who treat good women like garbage and crazy psycho women who are nothing but an overburdening misery for good men. I swear by Allah, it is better to be single and endure the hardship of celibacy and loneliness for a thousand years than to endure the constant company of some of these creatures who are nothing but a burden on their mates.

This is a rule of Dunya that we should all follow so that we can have both this world and the next:

Zaid ibn Thabit reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Whoever makes the world his greatest concern, Allah will confound his affairs and make poverty appear before his eyes and he will not get anything from the world except what has been decreed for him. Whoever makes the Hereafter his most important matter, Allah will settle his affairs and make him content in his heart and the world will come to him although he does not want it.” (Ibn Mājah)

InshaAllah, if you take this attitude, Allah ('Azza wa Jal) Will Give you a good wife who will be a comfort for you, not a painful, tormenting burden.

Of course, it goes without saying, that you yourself, should work on being a good man so as to be a good catch for a good sister. But this is all part of making the Akhirah your main concern anyway.
Also, even in good women, you will find flaws, and there will be issues. And this is to be expected. Even the Prophet :saws1: had issues with his wives. But with a good woman it's manageable.

Allahu 'Alim

THANK YOU!! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D Besides I do want a woman to have flaws....I do not want a perfect person :facepalm::facepalm: I really do not!! (Al-hamdolillah there is no such thing as a perfect person). Flawed person means human and this gives me a relief to allow me to be human (i.e, express my flaws). Mmmaaan that is the problem with marriages too! That someone is working hard to be perfect...(vomits on a bag) Noooo thanks!

I love what you typed there...I will take that as a model for my life :D ;D

By the way...by the way...by the way....this line in youtube proofs 100% in legit and full certainty that Islam is the ONE AND ONLY TRUE RELIGION WITHOUT ANY DOUBT AT ALL!!


This a comment in youtube, "
nightstalker1124
1 week ago
theres never been a large successful civilization ran by women "

which goes side by side with the prophet peace be upon him who DOES NOT SPEAKS in desires or whims but actually wait for the angel to send him the message and he speaks the message to the people with what he said in his famous ahadeeth.

[AbuAsiyah]

Besides I do want a woman to have flaws....I do not want a perfect person :facepalm::facepalm: I really do not!! (Al-hamdolillah there is no such thing as a perfect person). Flawed person means human and this gives me a relief to allow me to be human

Well, if you worship Allah alone, and you die as a Muslim (may Allah Make it so) then too bad bro because for the lowest man in Paradise is two wives who say "Praise be to Allah who Created you for us and Created us for you" (Muslim & Ahmed)

[xboxisdead]

Well, if you worship Allah alone, and you die as a Muslim (may Allah Make it so) then too bad bro because for the lowest man in Paradise is two wives who say "Praise be to Allah who Created you for us and Created us for you" (Muslim & Ahmed)

When you read my quote what did you exactly think I typed? Weird. Because all I said in that quote in this world I am not looking for a perfect wife.

[AbuAsiyah]

When you read my quote what did you exactly think I typed? Weird. Because all I said in that quote in this world I am not looking for a perfect wife.

Just glad tidings Bro. As long as you stay Muslim then Allah Will grant you a perfect wife whether you like it or not (you'll like it inshaAllah)

And of course, absolute perfection belongs only to Allah

[AbuAsiyah]

What is your opinion concerning the above video?

Assalaam 'Alaykum

Bro, these guys are losers. His statement, "There is no benefit in a man marrying a woman, ever" is nonsense and one of the callers saying he wanted to leave his wife and take all of her money because "she'd do it to me" is retarded. These type of men are low lives. Of course they can't find any good women. The only women who are going to go for them are going to be selfish, low-life losers like them. Do you think that any respectable woman would ever even allow herself to look in the direction of these idiots, let alone marry them?

“Corrupt women are for corrupt men, and corrupt men are for corrupt women. And good women are for good men, and good men are for good women…” (an-Noor: 26)

‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “I heard the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saying: ‘Souls are like conscripted soldiers; those whom they recognize, they get along with, and those whom they do not recognize, they will not get along with.’” (Bukhari)

Honestly, Akhi, I have been married now for about 8 years. She is good al-Hamdullilah because I followed the advice that I gave you earlier. Of course we have gotten into many fights (this is to be expected) but if you were to ask me when I was the most angry whether it was better for me to be married or single I would have told you married every time.

Just follow the rule of Dunya: Focus on your Akhira, work on your Akhlaq for the sake of Allah ('Azza wa Jal) and if and when a Sister comes around make Istikharah, investigate her and her family and go for it.

The Prophet (Salalahu 'Alaihi wa Salaam)said “Indeed, this world is no more than temporary joys, and there is no temporary joy of this world that is better than a righteous wife.” (Ibn Majah)

Regarding Ayyub ('Alaihis Salaam) after he went through his trial, Abu Hurairah narrates from the Prophet (Salalahu 'Alaihi wa Salaam) "When Allah healed Ayyub, He sent upon him a shower of golden locusts, and he started to pick them up and gather them in his garment. It was said to him, "O Ayyub, have you not had enough'' He said, "O Lord, who can ever have enough of Your mercy". (Bukhari & Muslim)

So if Allah ('Azza wa Jal) Sends you a Golden Locust (InshaAllah she will not look like a locust :)) then you should be eager to pick it up and go for it inshaAllah.

And Again, don't marry unless she is good. A corrupt woman is nothing but misery. I don't care what she looks like.

And the Deen is Naseeha

Wa Allahu 'Alim