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leanaderois
07-24-2018, 01:32 AM
Hi all.

I am a 25 turning 26 yr old female. I live in the states. for the past couple of months, i have been in a relationship with a muslim guy soon to read our fatha, but i found out a lot of bad things about him and my family and i will not read the fatha, but have yet to tell their family inshallah. i do not wear hijab.
i am in a good school alhamduliallah
for the past couple of months ive been lacking in my salat. ive been talking to other guys as potential husbands bc this one is not going to work out. but i also am talking to a christain guy who has feelings for me. he is arab christian and today i hugged him and i feel stressed and sad i did that. what is wrong with me. i am so depressed, like i lost who i am. this isnt me. and im continuing to talk to this arab christian guy. if only he was muslim
i dont know im scared of punishment from Allah. this isnt who ia m.

advice and no judgement please.
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Calmate
07-24-2018, 07:40 PM
Please sister you should love Allah more then anyone else. Get closer to Allah. Every human beeing is tested by Allah. Even the prophet Mohammed peace be upon him and his companions went to a difficult times. The situation which you are in see at as a test. Thank Allah for what you have. If you see in someone badness stay away from that person.Better prevent than cure. Please choose someone that fears Allah and prays his prayers. Don't get in zina involved. May Allah help you and help us all ...amien.
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Zzz_
07-24-2018, 11:52 PM
IF this isn't you and you are scared of Allah's punishment then that should be enough for you to stop. This is not a joke, shaytan doesn't tell you go to do zina from day one, he ropes in you slowly inch by inch. If you want to protect yourself form all this haram and yourself also, then stop talking all of these guys. Just tell them you need space as you are trying to better yourself as a muslim. And let your parents, family, friends help you find a guy. You only put yourself in harms way by going about it yourself alone, that is not the islamic way.
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leanaderois
07-25-2018, 02:11 AM
Originally Posted by Calmate
Please sister you should love Allah more then anyone else. Get closer to Allah. Every human beeing is tested by Allah. Even the prophet Mohammed peace be upon him and his companions went to a difficult times. The situation which you are in see at as a test. Thank Allah for what you have. If you see in someone badness stay away from that person.Better prevent than cure. Please choose someone that fears Allah and prays his prayers. Don't get in zina involved. May Allah help you and help us all ...amien.
Thanks brother. but how? and im insecure. who will love me too.
and i will never do zina. i was just having fun
but its not me and im so scared. im just so lost and i dont know what to do.

- - - Updated - - -

Originally Posted by Calmate
Please sister you should love Allah more then anyone else. Get closer to Allah. Every human beeing is tested by Allah. Even the prophet Mohammed peace be upon him and his companions went to a difficult times. The situation which you are in see at as a test. Thank Allah for what you have. If you see in someone badness stay away from that person.Better prevent than cure. Please choose someone that fears Allah and prays his prayers. Don't get in zina involved. May Allah help you and help us all ...amien.
Thanks brother. but how? and im insecure. who will love me too.
and i will never do zina. i was just having fun
but its not me and im so scared. im just so lost and i dont know what to do.

- - - Updated - - -

Originally Posted by Zzz_
IF this isn't you and you are scared of Allah's punishment then that should be enough for you to stop. This is not a joke, shaytan doesn't tell you go to do zina from day one, he ropes in you slowly inch by inch. If you want to protect yourself form all this haram and yourself also, then stop talking all of these guys. Just tell them you need space as you are trying to better yourself as a muslim. And let your parents, family, friends help you find a guy. You only put yourself in harms way by going about it yourself alone, that is not the islamic way.
Thanks brother. yes ur right. but who will i find, who will want to find me attractive and marry me and be intimate with me. im so scared to not find anyone. and im also just living my best years young and free. i just feel ashamed what i did and scared of Allah's punishment. i need more advice brother.

- - - Updated - - -

Originally Posted by Zzz_
IF this isn't you and you are scared of Allah's punishment then that should be enough for you to stop. This is not a joke, shaytan doesn't tell you go to do zina from day one, he ropes in you slowly inch by inch. If you want to protect yourself form all this haram and yourself also, then stop talking all of these guys. Just tell them you need space as you are trying to better yourself as a muslim. And let your parents, family, friends help you find a guy. You only put yourself in harms way by going about it yourself alone, that is not the islamic way.
Thanks brother. yes ur right. but who will i find, who will want to find me attractive and marry me and be intimate with me. im so scared to not find anyone. and im also just living my best years young and free. i just feel ashamed what i did and scared of Allah's punishment. i need more advice brother.
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Calmate
07-25-2018, 01:14 PM
Originally Posted by leanaderois
Thanks brother. but how? and im insecure. who will love me too.
and i will never do zina. i was just having fun
but its not me and im so scared. im just so lost and i dont know what to do.

- - - Updated - - -



Thanks brother. but how? and im insecure. who will love me too.
and i will never do zina. i was just having fun
but its not me and im so scared. im just so lost and i dont know what to do.

- - - Updated - - -



Thanks brother. yes ur right. but who will i find, who will want to find me attractive and marry me and be intimate with me. im so scared to not find anyone. and im also just living my best years young and free. i just feel ashamed what i did and scared of Allah's punishment. i need more advice brother.

- - - Updated - - -



Thanks brother. yes ur right. but who will i find, who will want to find me attractive and marry me and be intimate with me. im so scared to not find anyone. and im also just living my best years young and free. i just feel ashamed what i did and scared of Allah's punishment. i need more advice brother.


Allah swt says: And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient. Who, when disaster strikes them, say, "Indeed we belong to Allah , and indeed to Him we will return."Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the [rightly] guided.

What you are experience is normal. You have and must have faith in Allah s.w.t. Make enough dua.


[He] who created death and life to test you [as to] which of you is best in deed - and He is the Exalted in Might, the Forgiving [Al-Qur'an 67:2]
"Or you think that you will enter Paradise without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They were afflicted with severe poverty, ailments and were so shaken that even the Messenger and those who had faith with him said, 'When will the Help of Allah come?' Yes! Indeed Allah's help is close!" [Al-Qur'an 2:214]

Don’t forget you need Allah. So pray the mandority prayers and try to pray on time. Don’t forget to pray faijr on time! Don’t be scared that you don’t find any person. Have faith in Allah and he will help you. Don’t get insecure there is no need for that, Keep in mind that the shaytaan make you feel insecure. Have patience...

Allah Almighty says: “Indeed, those who believe and do righteous deeds and establish prayer and give Zakah will have their reward with their Lord, and there will be no fear concerning them, nor will they grieve.” (Quran, 2:277)

In Holy Quran Allah Almighty says about the importance of Fajr prayer in a way that: “So establish the Prayer after the declining of the sun (from its zenith, for Dhuhr and then ASR) to the dusk of night (Maghrib and then ‘Isha) and the (Quranic) recitation of Fajr [prayer].
Indeed, the (Quranic) recitation of Fajr is witnessed.” (Quran, 17:78)

I went also in difficult times. Wallahi some of my dua’s came true.




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BeTheChange
07-25-2018, 10:26 PM
Asalamualykum,

The more sins you commit the more miserable your life will be and you will feel depressed and empty inside. Walk or run towards Allah swt. Stop committing sins and in turn you will feel content and happy insha Allah. This may take time depending on how long you have kept yourself away from Allah swt but work on your relationship and you will reap the benefits. Stop spending time with the opposite gender and you will find a calmness in your life. If we listened to Allah swt and reflected on the laws we would understand the laws are there to protect us and not harm us. Subhana Allah. We benefit so much just by obeying Allah swt!!

Please listen to this lecture

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leanaderois
07-28-2018, 01:26 AM
Thanks guys
I just feel so empty and my boss found out something and i feel embarassed i hope he has amnesia and forgets im praying
i dont know i hope he gets killed before telling anyone else
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AbuAsiyah
07-28-2018, 03:39 AM
Thanks brother. yes ur right. but who will i find, who will want to find me attractive and marry me and be intimate with me. im so scared to not find anyone. and im also just living my best years young and free. i just feel ashamed what i did and scared of Allah's punishment. i need more advice brother.
This obsessive worry, concern and fear is from ash-shaitan. You do not need to worry about this. You do NOT want a man who is going to be unrighteous and you do NOT want a man in an illegitimate way. All of this is going to lead shame, misery, hardship, pain, and, guess what, loneliness in the end. I have seen female relatives who were also too scared to be alone that they would cling to whatever creature of a man came their way and it led to nothing but loss for her and her family. The relationship, being built on a shaky foundation, fell apart very quickly, and she was left alone again, but this time with pain and regret and more hardship than before.

The one who sticks to Allah's commands will never be alone. Allah will be with them always. If you stick to His commands, He will be with you and He will take care of you and all of your affairs. That includes choosing a good husband for you. You do not need to worry about this. Allah will take care of you.

Allah (azawajal) will take care of you and provide for you a good husband insha Allah. Don't worry. But you will have to be patient and this might mean being alone for a while which is ok. It's ok to be alone sometimes. Don't let shaitan scare you with this. Focus on your relationship with Allah and Allah will take care of all your needs. Focus on your deen, establish prayer, and wear hijab. The most important thing along with these is to cut off any and all ties with all males. Do not form any relationships with any men whatsoever. This will never lead to something good. These really are very necessary steps for you to have a happy life in this dunya and in akhira.

I hope my advice could be of some benefit inshaAllah.
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leanaderois
07-28-2018, 06:36 AM
thanks guys! I agree.
its just that i dont know where to even beging
i got in trouble at work for discussing matters with a friend
i even was watching porn today idk what to do :(
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emem.masorong
07-28-2018, 08:48 AM
I hope this helps. I am limp as of the moment. I just believe Allah will make me walk again normally or whatever he wills. I'm 25 years old, turning 26 this year. Some of my friends have already married and they are younger than me. My classmates already are working on companies and I am here at home, and I am still trying to make money online. I pray everyday all the prayers, even the midnight prayer before, but now I need sleep because of a secret. I understand you have complete body parts? You think you are like others, and want to imitate them, but sometimes, diverging to a path different from those people like you coming back to Islam and praying, only desiring Muslim men(btw, if you don't desire a Muslim man because of that Muslim guy with bad qualities, stay patient because there are still others, or, you can be a leader and show the way to your husband if he's of a different religion the Islamic Way). Learn something new about Islam everyday.
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M.I.A.
07-29-2018, 11:56 AM
Advice and no judgement?

You know, most people can't understand the concept of sinning, Or how it affects the world they live in.

But you are at a very important stage in life.

Because you know how you don't want to feel.
..
..
Islam expects certain standards of conduct and behaviour from it's followers..

And the punishment may seem far off for those not adhering to them.. but we all walk the path.. day after day.

And we either learn to rectify ourselves or become hands that lead each other astray.

We all go through it..
But when I saw it's hold on me and my life.. I just stopped doing it.

I hope you learn to understand.


It's not always that easy, the world can be an extremely cruel and opressing place.

So count your blessings.

All praise is due to Allah swt.
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