asalamulaikum
The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said,
“Allah the Most High said, ‘I am as My servant thinks (expects) I am. I am with him when he mentions Me. If he mentions Me to himself, I mention him to Myself; and if he mentions Me in an assembly, I mention him in an assembly greater than it. If he draws near to Me a hand’s length, I draw near to him an arm’s length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed.’” (Bukhari)
Imam Nawawi (may Allah have Mercy upon him) said: “The scholars say that expecting the best of Allah is to expect that He will have Mercy on him and relieve him of hardship.” [Sharh Sahih Muslim]
Imam Nawawi (may Allah have Mercy upon him) also said: “al-Qadi ‘Iyad said that this means He will forgive him if he seeks such, will accept his repentance if he repents, will answer him if he supplicates, and will suffice him if he asks for something. It is also said that it refers to having hope and longing for relief, and this is more correct.” [Sharh Sahih Muslim]
Some of the Salaf (may Allah have mercy upon him) said: “Whenever a crisis comes your way, utilize your good expectations of Allah in order to repel it. This will bring you closer to relief.” [al-Faraj Ba’d ash-Shiddah]
"Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves." (ar-Rad: 11)
I'm convinced that Allah hates me and wants to punish me.
Lately I begin to believe that maybe I'm was just fooling myself all this time thinking that I was a good Muslim
akhi, you have to fight off these thoughts. wallahi, these thoughts are from shaitan.
"Man is not weary of supplication for good [things], but if evil touches him, he is hopeless and despairing." (Fussilat: 49)
Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful." (az-Zumar: 53)
This verse was specifically revealed regarding those Muslims who left Islam completely. Allah called them back to His mercy.
if so then why should I even bother trying to ask Allah for help.
bro, no one needs help more than sinners like us. it is the sinners and the destitute who are most in need of Allah's help, forgiveness, and mercy.
“Whoever does not ask Allah, The Exalted, He gets angry with him.” [At-Tirmithi]
Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The du’aa’ of any one of you will be answered so long as he is not impatient and says, ‘I made du’aa’ but it was not answered.’” Narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim.
akhi, you have to be patient.
Nothing is ever working out for me, WHY ??????
Success is dependent upon our obedience to Allah and failure is from our disobedience. In this case despair of Allah's mercy and relief constitutes in of itself a major sin which is a clear obstacle and roadblock to your success as a Muslim.
The ball really is in our court brother. The way that it works is that the more hope you direct towards Allah, the more He will help you. If you start putting your hope in him and warding off the doubts and negativity from ash-shaitan, then (and only then) will Allah start to help you. When He starts to help you, then this increases your hope and trust in him which then leads to Him helping you more and the positive build-up of Iman can continue but you have to get the ball rolling bro. You do not need to worry about your sins because Allah's Mercy is more vast and more powerful. He helps save even the pagan Mushrikeen from destruction when they are out to sea because they call upon Him and Him alone. Certainly, you have more of a right to hope for His aid.
Why is Allah not helping me just a little bit so I can have some hope in this miserable life?
Hope first, then the Help.
Ward off this negativity, make constant Dua' to Allah,
be Patient, seek refuge in Allah from ash-shaitan, seek refuge from hopelessness and despair, think good thoughts of Him with conviction, He will truly be what you think of Him. Try to work on your other sins and try to obey Allah more.
If you do these things, you will be okay inshaAllah. I promise. Nevermind that. Allah promises, and Allah never fails in His promise.