PDA

View Full Version : Manners of visiting



jameelash
09-22-2018, 08:19 PM
MANNERS OF VISITING

If you enter a room, greet everyone inside. If you want to shake hands with those present, start with the most eminent, the most knowledgeable, the most pious, MANNERS OF VISITING

GREETING
If you enter a room, greet everyone inside. If you want to shake hands with those present, start with the most eminent, the most knowledgeable, the most pious, the oldest or those who have similar Islamic distinctions. Do not overlook the most distinguished or most eminent and start with the first person on your right. If you cannot decide who is the most reputable, or if those present happen to be of comparable status, then start with the elderly, for they are easier to recognize.

Al-Bukhari explained that the Prophet said, ‘The elder! The elder!’ In another version he said, ‘The elderly come first.’ ‘Abu Yalla and Al-Tabarany in Al-Awsat reported that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said: ‘Start with the elderly, or , he said, ‘with the notables.’ ‘

3.9 SITTING BETWEEN TWO PERSONS
If you enter a room do not sit between two persons. Instead, sit on their left or right side. Abu Dawood reported that the Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said: ‘No one is to sit between two people without their permission.’

Sometimes two persons will be kind enough to favour you by making room for you to sit between them. Acknowledge this kind gesture by accepting their offer. Do not sit crossed-legged to crowd them out. A sage said: ‘Two persons are considered immoderate: a person to whom you give advice and he arrogantly holds it in contempt against you, and a person who is favoured with a seat in a room and he sits crossed-legged.’

If you are seated between two people, do not eavesdrop and listen to what they say, lest their conversation be a confidential or private matter. Eavesdropping is a bad habit and a sin. Al-Bukhari reported that the Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said: ‘Whoever listens to people’s
conversation against their wishes, will be punished by liquid lead being poured down their ears on the day of Judgment.’

You should seek to benefit from the company and wisdom of the elders who are described as ‘ a fruit at the end of the season.’ I would add, ‘a sun wearing the veil’ since it will leave us and disappear at night. Be keen to attend the gatherings of the elders whether scholars, pious persons, nobles, or relatives. Soon you may lament their departure and your loss.

It is an inappropriate Muslim manner to whisper to someone sitting next to you if you are in a group of three people. The third person will feel deserted and isolated and will think the worst of thoughts. The Messenger (صلى الله عليه وسلم) hated this. Imam Malik and Abu Dawood reported that he said: ‘No two shall exchange whispers in the presence of a third person.’ That the Prophet used ‘No two…’ in an assertive negative form, indicates that such a mistake is not only inappropriate but an unimaginable and instinctively despicable. ‘Abdullah Bin Omar was asked, ‘What if they were four?’ ‘Then it does not matter,’ he answered, meaning it is not irritating then to whisper or to mutter. If a friend entrusted you with a secret, do not betray him or her. Do not tell it even to your best friend or closest relative.

oldest or those who have similar Islamic distinctions. Do not overlook the most distinguished or most eminent and start with the first person on your right. If you cannot decide who is the most reputable, or if those present happen to be of comparable status, then start with the elderly, for they are easier to recognize.

Al-Bukhari explained that the Prophet said, ‘The elder! The elder!’ In another version he said, ‘The elderly come first.’ ‘Abu Yalla and Al-Tabarany in Al-Awsat reported that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said: ‘Start with the elderly, or , he said, ‘with the notables.’ ‘
SITTING BETWEEN TWO PERSONS
If you enter a room do not sit between two persons. Instead, sit on their left or right side. Abu Dawood reported that the Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said: ‘No one is to sit between two people without their permission.’

Sometimes two persons will be kind enough to favour you by making room for you to sit between them. Acknowledge this kind gesture by accepting their offer. Do not sit crossed-legged to crowd them out. A sage said: ‘Two persons are considered immoderate: a person to whom you give advice and he arrogantly holds it in contempt against you, and a person who is favoured with a seat in a room and he sits crossed-legged.’

If you are seated between two people, do not eavesdrop and listen to what they say, lest their conversation be a confidential or private matter. Eavesdropping is a bad habit and a sin. Al-Bukhari reported that the Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said: ‘Whoever listens to people’s
conversation against their wishes, will be punished by liquid lead being poured down their ears on the day of Judgment.’

You should seek to benefit from the company and wisdom of the elders who are described as ‘ a fruit at the end of the season.’ I would add, ‘a sun wearing the veil’ since it will leave us and disappear at night. Be keen to attend the gatherings of the elders whether scholars, pious persons, nobles, or relatives. Soon you may lament their departure and your loss.

It is an inappropriate Muslim manner to whisper to someone sitting next to you if you are in a group of three people. The third person will feel deserted and isolated and will think the worst of thoughts. The Messenger (صلى الله عليه وسلم) hated this. Imam Malik and Abu Dawood reported that he said: ‘No two shall exchange whispers in the presence of a third person.’ That the Prophet used ‘No two…’ in an assertive negative form, indicates that such a mistake is not only inappropriate but an unimaginable and instinctively despicable. ‘Abdullah Bin Omar was asked, ‘What if they were four?’ ‘Then it does not matter,’ he answered, meaning it is not irritating then to whisper or to mutter. If a friend entrusted you with a secret, do not betray him or her. Do not tell it even to your best friend or closest relative.
Reply

Login/Register to hide ads. Scroll down for more posts
HisServant
09-23-2018, 02:00 AM
:sl:

Good reminders! Thank you for sharing! :jz: !

- - - Updated - - -

Wanted to share this article which includes some different but important points:


Translated from “Aadabe Mulaaqaat”
Courtesy: Madrasah Arabia Islamia – Azaadville, South Africa


The Holy Qur’an commands: “When you enter homes, observe Salaam with one another – a Salaam of blessing and purity from Allah.” (Surah Nur verse 61)
Etiquette:
1. Don’t enter anyone’s house or room without permission. You are obligated to seek their permission first.
2. The Islamic code of seeking permission specifies that one should stand close to the door, (knock) and thereafter say “Assalaamualaikum wa Rahmatullahi“, may I come in?

3. If this does not elicit a reply, employ the same method of Salaam etc. a second and third time. After the third time, if you fail to get a reply, consider it an inopportune moment for meeting. There could be some valid excuse. Therefore, return and do not ever feel offended.
4. Whilst seeking permission to enter, stand on one side. Don’t stand in such a way that you can see inside. However, if the host is right in front of you, make Salaam and seek permission to enter.
5. It is despicable to peep inside. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam vehemently forbade this.
6. Observe Salaam loudly even when entering your own house and make your presence known to the occupants of the house.
7. If you are asked: “Who is there?”, give your name. Do not say: “It’s me!” because the occupant does not know who is “me.”
8. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam advised a Sahaabi thus: “Come and meet me every alternate day (and not daily) as this would increase our love for one another.”
9. Avoid visiting someone during meal or snack times. If you are compelled to visit at such times, first eat and then go. However, if you are unable to eat and go, then do not lie to the host that you have already eaten. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam said: “Do not bring lies and hunger together.” However, you may decline on some other pretext.
10. If you have to visit someone in another city or town, inform him before hand.
11. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam strictly forbade reaching someone’s home at night. In fact, he even forbade the people from returning to their own homes at night without informing their families.
12. When you enter someone’s home, enter with Salaam. The occupant of the house should make the first move when it comes to shaking hands or embracing. If he does not make the first move or he is busy, do not disturb him.
13. Do not observe Salaam when you enter a gathering in which a lecture or lesson is taking place, nor should you make Salaam when entering a Masjid in which people are engaged in Salaah or other forms of Zikr. However, if someone draws your attention, you should make Salaam silently.
14. When you enter someone’s house, do not sit at the best spot nor sit on a place especially reserved for the owner of the house. It is upto him if he wishes to seat you on his place or on any other appropriate place.
15. The Qur’an orders both men and women to lower their gazes. Be very particular about this at all times. When you go to someone’s house, do not look around.
16. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam advised us to be soft-natured and dignified. Always keep this advice in mind. If you go anywhere, speak gently and act in a dignified manner. Do not touch anything without permission. Do not stare at anything covetously nor act as though you are impressed and awe-struck with the host’s pomp and splendour, resulting in you suffering from an inferiority complex.
17. Do not sit nor converse for very long. Once your work is complete, seek permission to leave immediately. However, on the insistence of the host, you may remain until it is convenient for you.
When Others Come to your Place


“And when you are greeted with any greeting, offer a greeting more courteous than that or (at least) return the greeting. Verily, Allah Ta’ala takes careful account of everything.” (Surah Nisaa Verse 86)
When anyone comes to your house, you are Islamically obligated to give him a warm reception. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam is reported to have said: “A mu’min is he who honours his guest and is hospitable towards him.”
Etiquette:
1. It is Wajib (compulsory) to answer to the Salaam. The Qur’an urges you to ensure that your reply is more superior, cultured and more vigorous than the Salaam of the other person. For example, if you are greeted with “Assalamualaikum” add on “warahmatullah” after “waalaykumussalaam” when replying.
2. The following words may be added to the Salaam or to the reply: “warahmatullahi“, “wa-barakaatuh” “wa-maghfiratuh.” Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam had promised ten additional rewards for every word added to the Salaam.
3. Be cheerful when welcoming your guest. Stand up and welcome him. Shake hands with him and if you are meeting him after some time. Embrace each other as well. Thereafter, seat him with respect.
4. The impoliteness of those who are impolite towards you is obviously incorrect but when they come to your door, ethics demand that you confront them courteously. Do not act peevishly. Meet them with a cheerful countenance. Converse in a cultured and dignified manner.
5. The Arabs have a charming custom of welcoming their guests with the following phrase: Ahlan wa Sahlan wa Marhaba, which figuratively means: “Make yourself at home. Everything you require is found and you are welcome.”
6. Employ your discretion in welcoming your guests. Determine their needs according to prevailing weather conditions etc. Endeavour to fulfil their needs before they even request you to do so.
7. Ascertain the habits of the guest in regards to his food, snacks, bathing etc. Make preparations for him according to his habit and disposition. This will comfort him whilst eliciting great rewards for you as well (Insha Allah).
8. Upon his departure, walk a little distance with the guest and bid him farewell. Allow him to take leave from you instead of you bidding him farewell first.
9. If you have some conveyance, offer it to the guest.
10. Whenever anyone took leave of Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam, he would clasp the former’s hand with his own – out of love and affection – and he would continue holding the other person’s hands until the person himself drew his hands away. When bidding anyone farewell, he used to recite: “Astaudi’ullaha Dînak Amânatak wa khawâtîma ‘amalik.

http://islamqa.org/hanafi/qibla-hanafi/36789
Reply

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 37
    Last Post: 02-16-2016, 10:23 AM
  2. Replies: 4
    Last Post: 05-03-2011, 04:47 AM
  3. Replies: 1
    Last Post: 01-07-2010, 10:04 PM
  4. Replies: 2
    Last Post: 04-14-2008, 05:14 PM
  5. Replies: 7
    Last Post: 08-01-2007, 01:31 AM

IslamicBoard

Experience a richer experience on our mobile app!