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Desert
10-13-2018, 02:14 AM
Salaam

Is anyone here with the same medications
I take them and turn into a new person that
Is evil is this like changing the creation of Allaah

I feel like screaming with angry outburst when taking the medicine

Thank you for any knowledge about this

I feel like a 86 year old Christian hag....
Even though I was and am a 31 year old Muslim woman
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Desert
10-13-2018, 03:38 AM
I just realized I'm psychotic i have it im in psychosis all the time
Sorry for me even logging in

My life is not in its reality...
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BeTheChange
10-13-2018, 12:09 PM
Walaikumasalaam

Have you seen any specialists? Speak to your doctor if the medication is not working for you.

Don't apologise for posting. It is a blessing to have you here insha Allah.
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Desert
10-13-2018, 12:26 PM
Thank you so much i hate being annoying when my mind goes insane
To this website

Just wondering if anyone else was in this situation..
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BeTheChange
10-13-2018, 03:42 PM
Asalamualykum,

Yes i would imagine so. Sadly lots of people are diagnosed with mental illnesses but with the right treatment if Allah swa wills you can manage your condition. Don't loose hope. Try and read Quraan if you can. Insha Allah this will help. Keep yourself busy in worship or worldly activities insha Allah this will ward off any negative feelings.
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Desert
10-13-2018, 05:33 PM
My brain feels like the brain of a animal
I feel crying i feel like a dog.....
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Olivia1
10-15-2018, 01:20 PM
Salamualaikum Desert.

I have taken the same same medications as you (along with many other antipsychotics), I have been in psychosis for long periods of time, and I am around your age. I understand what it feels like to be a complete kafir during my episodes and struggle to regain my faith when I regain my sanity.

I wish I could provide you with words of comfort. Feeling like you want to cry, like you are a dog, like a kafir, or like an old woman cannot be easy for you. It’s easy to start thinking, why did Allah do this to me? I have asked myself this many times. I felt like I existed just to be a burden on humanity.

What helps me is to remember that Allah created me for His purpose, not for anyone else’s. All I have to do is get through this life as best as I am able, and only Allah can judge whether I tried my best or not. I may never be useful to society, but being useful is not a requirement to enter Jannah. I have just as much a chance of getting to AlFirdous as anyone else, if not more.

That still begs the question, what do I do to prevent myself from feeling miserable during the 50 or so years before my death? I absolutely hate the destruction I cause during manic phases, and I feel suicidal while on medication. I have switched medications numerous times over the past decade and nothing makes me remotely happy.

I think of reasons to be grateful to Allah when I feel that I am at my worst.

“Indeed, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest”.

First and foremost, I think of what I was before my diagnosis. I looked down on people who’s back wasn’t straight during ruku’, I looked down on women with a single strand of hair poking of of their hijab, I looked down on people who didn’t have as much knowledge of the Quran and Sunnah as I did. I had so much pride in my heart, thinking I was better than others based purely on what I could see.

If I had died before becoming psychotic, I probably would have entered Hell just for thinking I was better than others. For assuming I could judge what was in other people’s hearts. That alone makes my condition worth it, even if I have to wait for another 50 years to see Jannah.

Every time I come out of psychosis, I have a greater respect for people around me. I understand their struggles better and remove any judgemental attitude I had towards them. At the same time, I have noticed that I have started relying more and more on Allah, doing my best without worrying about the outcome.

Isnt that the whole point of existance ? To get closer to Allah and purify our hearts? I may never have been able to accomplish this without a mental illness. I firmly believe that if my life had been easy, I would have had a miserable afterlife. All things considered, would you rather have an easy 80 years and get to the bottom of jannah, or a challenging 80 years and get to the top of jannah for all of eternity?

Sister Desert, I hope you know that Allah loves you, and only wishes good for you. And when He wishes good for a person, He tests them. If you feel like a kafir during psychosis, you will not be judged for it, even if you die in this state, so don’t worry about it. And when you feel miserable, remember that there is greater good in you being the way you are. Allah designed you perfectly so that you could get to a high place in the next world, even if you don’t in this one.

Please tell us more about your experience if you feel comfortable sharing your story. When did you realize something was wrong? How did your family and friends react to your diagnosis? What about you has changed since then? How has your relationship with Allah changed?

Allah chose this test for you because only you could handle it. That by itself is something to be proud of.

Please take care care and don’t hesitate to reach out if you’d like to talk.

salamualaikum
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Desert
10-15-2018, 01:56 PM
:wa:

Sister Olivia thank you so much for understanding what I'm trying to say
May Allaah give you jannat...firdaws....ameen
I wonder what's going to happen to people like us on judgement day

May Allaah give you comfort in this dunya...And the next life for comforting me sister...

Amen
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Olivia1
10-17-2018, 01:07 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Desert
:wa:

Sister Olivia thank you so much for understanding what I'm trying to say
May Allaah give you jannat...firdaws....ameen
I wonder what's going to happen to people like us on judgement day

May Allaah give you comfort in this dunya...And the next life for comforting me sister...

Amen

Salamualaikum Sister Desert.

Ive had the same question about what will happen to people with mental illness on the Day of Judgement. Will the world finally see that all those stupid decisions I made and every nonsensical thing I said was the result of an imperfect brain rather than through my own free will? Will Allah punish them for saying cruel things to me, saying I have a jinn inside me or I have weak Iman?

Those are are issues that I’ve thought about in the past, but when this life is over, I don’t think I will care anymore. Everyone has done things they are not proud of, and I don’t want anyone to suffer in the Akhirah on my account. I prefer to forgive them and hope that Allah will make my status even higher in Jannah.

As for my compensation on the Day of judgement, I believe Allah will be fair. Most People who have gone through both physical and psychological torture say that the psychological torture was far worse than physical. And depending on what kind of illness you have, you could be in a permanent state of psychological torture. Allah is fully aware of how much you are suffering. And He will compensate you accordingly.

There is a Hadith (I have to look up the source) stating that if people knew how much compensation they would receive in the akhirah for having suffered in the world, they would wish they had been cut to pieces. Imagine what kind of reward you would get from being patient and trusting Allah through intense pain that no one around you can see or understand.

There is another hadith which states that people on the day of judgement would wish they had received nothing in this world and saved all their rewards for the hereafter when they see how the poor of this world are compensated. I don’t know about you, but after my mental illness became apparent, any hopes and dreams that I had were all thrown out the window. I literally have nothing (materialistic) to live for. My hope is that Allah has saved my reward for the Hereafter.

Which brings me to my third point. I have often felt that I don’t want to be alive at all. I have nothing to live for, I might as well die right now and live the real life in Jannah, right? Well, I can’t. Because I don’t have the right to take my own life. Don’t you think Allah will compensate you for not having ended your life early just for His sake? Every breath that you take, you will be rewarded. Because you did not continue living because you enjoyed the world, you continued out of faith.

Imagine a a person who loves their life, who thinks of Allah for a few minutes at every prayer, perhaps reading Quran everyday, and even volunteering their time and money to help others. Would they have done those good deeds if they did not enjoy doing them? Do they get compensated for getting up in the morning, for driving to work, for playing with their kids? Would they have done these things anyway even if they were not hoping for any reward from Allah?

Compare that to a person who’s every waking moment was filled with hoping that death was coming soon. Simply living becomes a form of jihad. Every move you make is only done out of love for Allah, rather than any worldly benefit. Do you think getting up in the morning for a suicidal person will bring the same reward as the person who enjoyed doing it? Who put in greater effort?

Allah knows what each of us can handle, and He knows what each of us needs to get to the highest parts of Jannah. I hope that when you get there you look back and say thank god I had a mental illness, because without it I wouldn’t have come so far.

Im here if you want to talk. Keep in touch.

Salamualaikum
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Mandy
10-17-2018, 03:17 PM
I remember reading somewhere the actions of someone who is not in his right mind are not counted. Just as the actions of children are not counted. Unfortunately I do not remember where I read that and I cannot provide a reference. I hope someone who is more knowledgeable than me can help with pointing out a hadith on this.


I wish you all the best and I hope you can talk with your doctor and find a better suited medication for you.
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Desert
10-20-2018, 11:17 PM
As salamu alaikum

Olivia mentally ill people are excused
They don't even get accounted in their graves
But I have a hard time classifying myself as a mentally ill

I only feel good when I get my period so it's like a psychosis up until I get my period
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Desert
10-24-2018, 09:26 PM
Al khidr imran hosien...now I know it's just the end of times and I'm not insane it's what the pharmacist wink each other about
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