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View Full Version : How much mahr or dower should you give to your wife?



emem.masorong
10-23-2018, 07:50 AM
How much dower did you give? Is there a prescribed amount?
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azc
10-23-2018, 08:09 AM
The minimum mahr is ten Dirhams
http://islamqa.org/hanafi/askimam/18841

What is the minimum amount of mahr (dowry)? - IslamQA
What is the minimum amount of mahr (dowry). Kindly, specify in grams themahr that was given to the wives of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam)and to...
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MazharShafiq
10-23-2018, 10:25 AM
Today, the concept has spread in people that the mahar should be minimized, which is as much as possible as much as possible or less but not more less then 10 dirham.
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azc
10-23-2018, 10:31 AM
Originally Posted by MazharShafiq
Today, the concept has spread in people that the mahar should be minimized, which is as much as possible as much as possible or less but not more less then 10 dirham.
and some people demand beyond proper limit.
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Futuwwa
10-23-2018, 12:50 PM
I paid my wife's student debts, which were something like 5000€ at the time.
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azc
10-23-2018, 12:59 PM
Originally Posted by Futuwwa
I paid my wife's student debts, which were something like 5000€ at the time.


If you think that paying mahar is no more required after paying her debt, Then Scholar can be consulted
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ZeeshanParvez
10-23-2018, 01:21 PM
The minimum amount of mahr has been explained in the report in al-Saheeh (no. 1425) narrated from Sahl ibn Sa’d al-Saa’idi, who said: “A woman came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, I have come to give myself (in marriage) to you.’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) looked at her and looked her up and down, then the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) lowered his head and paused. When the woman saw that he had not made a decision about her, she sat down. A man from among the Sahaabah said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, if you are not interested in her, then marry her to me.’ He said, ‘Do you have anything?’ He said, ‘No, by Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah.’ He said, ‘Go to your people and see if you can find anything.’ So the man went, then he came back and said, ‘No, by Allaah, I could not find anything.’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘Look and see (if you can find anything), even if it is only an iron ring which you can give.’ So he went, then came back, and said, ‘No, by Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah, not even an iron ring. But (I have) this izaar (garment) of mine, she can have half of it.’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘What can she do with your izaar? If you are wearing it she will have nothing of it.’ The man sat down, then after a long time had passed, he got up (to leave). The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saw him leaving and called him. When he came, he said, ‘What do you know of the Qur’aan?’ He said, ‘Soorah Such-and-such and Soorah Such-and-such.’ He said, ‘Do you know them by heart?’ He said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘Then go, you are married to her by what you know of the Qur’aan.’”

This hadeeth shows that it is permissible for the mahr to be a little or a lot of whatever is considered to be wealth, if both partners agree, because an iron ring is extremely little. This is the madhhab of al-Shaafa’i and is also the view of the majority of scholars among the earlier and later generations. This was also the view of Rabee’ah, Abu’l-Zinaad, Ibn Abi Dhi’b, Yahyaa ibn Sa’eed, al-Layth ibn Sa’d, al-Thawri, al-Oozaa’i, Muslim ibn Khaalid, Ibn Abi Laylaa, Dawood, the fuqahaa’ of the scholars of hadeeth and Ibn Wahb among the companions of Maalik. It was also the view of all the scholars of the Hijaaz, Basrah, Kufa and Syria, and others, that whatever the couple agree upon is permissible (as a dowry), whether it is a lot or a little, such as a whip, a pair of shoes or an iron ring, etc.


IslamQA
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ardianto
10-23-2018, 03:08 PM
Amount and form of mahar is varies, depend on the custom of society. In Indonesia the common main mahr is Qur'an. Even there are women who ask mahr in form of Qur'an recitation by the groom. This main mahr often added with money, but usually in small amount. In Indonesia is common if amount of mahr is less than US$ 100. But in Pakistan and Arabia the amount of mahr are far higher due to cultural difference.
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azc
10-23-2018, 04:33 PM
Originally Posted by ardianto
Amount and form of mahar is varies, depend on the custom of society. In Indonesia the common main mahr is Qur'an. Even there are women who ask mahr in form of Qur'an recitation by the groom. This main mahr often added with money, but usually in small amount. In Indonesia is common if amount of mahr is less than US$ 100. But in Pakistan and Arabia the amount of mahr are far higher due to cultural difference.
Luckily, my mehar was Rs 2500 only whereas minimum Rs 50000 is generally given in our society. Thanks to my father in law. He was against the prevalent tradition
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anatolian
10-23-2018, 09:44 PM
Today's mahr is alimony in the secular laws. So if the couple are living in a secular (non-sharia) country the woman must not demand more than a symbolic amount if you ask me.
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ardianto
10-24-2018, 03:28 AM
In some Muslim societies, like in Pakistan, after nikah the man will take the woman to join with his family. While in some other societies, like in Indonesia, after nikah the man will join with the woman's family.

In the first society which the woman join the man's family, amount of mahr usually high. Maybe it's because the woman family 'lost' their daughter. While in the second society which the man join the woman family, amount of mahr usually low. Maybe it's because the woman family do not 'lose' their daughter, and even they get new male member who must bear responsibility toward them.
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azc
10-24-2018, 07:56 AM
Originally Posted by ardianto
In some Muslim societies, like in Pakistan, after nikah the man will take the woman to join with his family. While in some other societies, like in Indonesia, after nikah the man will join with the woman's family. In the first society which the woman join the man's family, amount of mahr usually high. Maybe it's because the woman family 'lost' their daughter. While in the second society which the man join the woman family, amount of mahr usually low. Maybe it's because the woman family do not 'lose' their daughter, and even they get new male member who must bear responsibility toward them.
Interesting tradition....! if the boy lives with wife's family he is called ''ghar jawa'ee'' and it's disliked in our society
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Futuwwa
10-24-2018, 11:30 AM
Originally Posted by azc
If you think that paying mahar is no more required after paying her debt, Then Scholar can be consulted
Nah, I'm good. Some time afterward, I gave her nuclear power plant ownership shares.
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anatolian
10-24-2018, 12:25 PM
Originally Posted by Futuwwa
Nah, I'm good. Some time afterward, I gave her nuclear power plant ownership shares.
You know its not good to give women that much power.. hehe
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azc
10-24-2018, 12:31 PM
Originally Posted by Futuwwa
Nah, I'm good. Some time afterward, I gave her nuclear power plant ownership shares.
''nuclear power plant ownership shares''.........! :haha:
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xboxisdead
10-24-2018, 03:11 PM
Originally Posted by anatolian
Today's mahr is alimony in the secular laws. So if the couple are living in a secular (non-sharia) country the woman must not demand more than a symbolic amount if you ask me.
In USA and Canada and other countries that follow the Western world the mahr is high. The wife get to take 80 to 90% of her divorced husband and put him in the street. She also have the right to come back for more if she sees he is doing great again and he is getting a new car, the court will listen to her and she get to get more out of him and put him back in street. If he does good again here and she knows it...she have the right to go back to the court and demand for more and the court will listen to her and give her more.
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azc
10-24-2018, 05:48 PM
Originally Posted by xboxisdead
In USA and Canada and other countries that follow the Western world the mahr is high. The wife get to take 80 to 90% of her divorced husband and put him in the street. She also have the right to come back for more if she sees he is doing great again and he is getting a new car, the court will listen to her and she get to get more out of him and put him back in street. If he does good again here and she knows it...she have the right to go back to the court and demand for more and the court will listen to her and give her more.
Bro, this thread is about mehar at the time of nikah (not divorce)
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xboxisdead
10-24-2018, 07:14 PM
Originally Posted by azc
Bro, this thread is about mehar at the time of nikah (not divorce)
True. I agree 100%. But isn't the point of mehar that when the husband divorces the wife she get paid based on the mehar agreement? Exactly how does mehar work? Is mehar you pay right away or you pay after divorce or what? If a divorce does happen does the husband pay her even after he paid mehar? If he have to pay her, exactly how much is the cost of paying her and can there be hagel for such transaction?
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azc
10-24-2018, 08:39 PM
Originally Posted by xboxisdead
True. I agree 100%. But isn't the point of mehar that when the husband divorces the wife she get paid based on the mehar agreement? Exactly how does mehar work? Is mehar you pay right away or you pay after divorce or what? If a divorce does happen does the husband pay her even after he paid mehar? If he have to pay her, exactly how much is the cost of paying her and can there be hagel for such transaction?
It may be true in exceptional cases, but generally, nikah doesn't come to an end by divorce.
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ardianto
10-24-2018, 10:59 PM
Originally Posted by xboxisdead
But isn't the point of mehar that when the husband divorces the wife she get paid based on the mehar agreement?
Mahr is a gift that given by the groom to the bride when he marries her. It has nothing to do with what the wife can get if divorce happen.
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xboxisdead
10-24-2018, 11:13 PM
Originally Posted by ardianto
Mahr is a gift that given by the groom to the bride when he marries her. It has nothing to do with what the wife can get if divorce happen.
So what if a divorce happens how much he have to pay her during the eda time?
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xboxisdead
10-24-2018, 11:16 PM
Ooh one more thing...if the divorce the secular law to benefit her and she takes almost 80% of his wealth and she is constantly attacking him by constantly taking from him...would she leave the fold of Islam because she uses man-made (Dajjal) law instead of Allah's law (as she believes in man-made law)? Would she be get punished in hellfire for every dime she took from her ex-husband using the Dajjal's law?

I am just wondering...
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ardianto
10-25-2018, 05:18 AM
Originally Posted by xboxisdead
So what if a divorce happens how much he have to pay her during the eda time?
From what I know Sharia does not mention exact amount of it. The amount is depend on agreement between two parties, or determined by judge in sharia court. Depend on ex-husband affordability, and living standard in the place.
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xboxisdead
10-25-2018, 05:46 AM
What I love about Sharia law it doesn't put man and turn him into nothing more than a bank machine and it does not put him into the street by over burdening him just to transfer wealth from man to woman. Islam a truly religion of justice.
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