format_quote Originally Posted by
Calazakk
Yea i hate feeling that way and at times can even be intimidating or whatever but i know where im trying to get and whats needed and just have to push and i am and on my own read alot and make salah as well as at masjid you know. As far as coming to Islam after years of haram and self defeating stuff i managed ro look into many diff philosophies and religions and somehow always ended up being in presence of Islam through some of the people ive met over the years and about two years ago met a friend who was born muslim and really spent alot of time around him and began to read and learn more and then it just felt right after all the years of wasted time like way it resonated its hard to explain but im sure most converts especially could relate so took my shahada and strayed a bit but last few months have really been working on staying in deen and became more comfortable etc. so now have realized how much it is to learn and one can only do so much on their own w Islam so had to make choice to reach out and gets boring and lonely being a muslim with no muslims to spend time with and relate to etc. found this board and just seemed legit and here i am in nutshell lol, you? are you in US?
Well it's good to hear that you're trying your best. May Allah help you inshallah and ease your affairs ameen. I know you feel lonely but I want you to know that none of us are perfect either, even being born muslim. We also stray away but alhemdulilah we are guided again somehow. I am from the US but not living there currently. Actually where I lived there were barely any muslims either, so I totally understand how you feel right now not having the support. I think we romanticize the feeling of being around a lot of muslims and having muslim friends, but I'm kind of thankful that I had to do it all on my own because it made me a stronger person not having to lean on anyone else and it made me have more control in the type of people I wanted to surround myself in.
I can tell you're genuine and have a good head on your shoulders. If you do what you're doing and you focus on your iman, I really believe that good things and people will come your way instead of you having to go out to search for them :) I wish I knew people around in your area, I'd have loved to help out in that regard.