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ceylincemal
12-21-2018, 04:09 AM
Today, my mom was pulling my hair. She kept forcing it, it hurt so bad to the point I was telling her to stop. She would do it more forcefully that I forcefully embedded my nails hard into both her arms/hands and scratched them. Her hands have so many bruise/nail marks and are red/blue. I also pushed her and kicked her in the stomach in self defense many times when she came to hit me. I hit her a while back too. I am so ashamed.
Now, she has bruises that won't go away. Her arms are red/bruises and I am sick of this happened.
I have many opportunities coming for me. I am so fearful and ashamed of what I did. I am on period now, so cannot pray or touch Quran. I don't want Allah to punish me at all. Last time I was somewhat mean to my mom, I had a bad experience at work and something bad happened to me. I am so mad this is my naseeb. This happened after I was reading quran and athkar.
I am so ashamed of myself and I hate my mom for putting me in the situation to do that to her. I am so ashamed, but I blame her for the saya2aat she given me.
I am 27 yrs old. And I am female.
Situation, my mom hates when I play with my hair. She told me it annoys her but I do it subconsciously. When she saw me do it, she came and started pulling and twisting it so hard it hurted my brain. I was also mean to her earlier this morning before this happened.
Will my good opportunities still happen now that I did that? Mind you she made prayer these good opportunities don't happen. Will Allah forget and forgive what I did if I ask for forgiveness. Will Allah continue to bless me?
I need advice on what to do so I receive 0 punishment or any bad karma from Allah. You know they say what goes around comes around. I need 0 punishment. I need Allah to erase it from my book so it is like it never happened. I want continued blessings now and for years to come and for the rest of my life. I need good happy life. I need my dreams to come true. I wish this day didn't happen.
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Abz2000
12-21-2018, 06:17 AM
Go say sorry and maybe offer to shave ur head as a token of regret and humility (as long as it's allowed and ur ready to back that up).
Reply

ceylincemal
12-21-2018, 06:22 AM
Originally Posted by Abz2000
Go say sorry and maybe offer to shave ur head as a token of regret and humility (as long as it's allowed and ur ready to back that up).
I already apologized multiple times. I will obviously not offer to shave my head, that is clearly ridiculous, I am a female lol.

Do you have any other recommendations so I receive 0 punishment or any bad karma from Allah. You know they say what goes around comes around. I need 0 punishment. I need Allah to erase it from my book so it is like it never happened. I want continued blessings now and for years to come and for the rest of my life. I need good happy life. I need my dreams to come true. I wish this day didn't happen.
Reply

ceylincemal
12-21-2018, 07:07 AM
Originally Posted by ceylincemal
Today, my mom was pulling my hair. She kept forcing it, it hurt so bad to the point I was telling her to stop. She would do it more forcefully that I forcefully embedded my nails hard into both her arms/hands and scratched them. Her hands have so many bruise/nail marks and are red/blue. I also pushed her and kicked her in the stomach in self defense many times when she came to hit me. I hit her a while back too. I am so ashamed.
Now, she has bruises that won't go away. Her arms are red/bruises and I am sick of this happened.
I have many opportunities coming for me. I am so fearful and ashamed of what I did. I am on period now, so cannot pray or touch Quran. I don't want Allah to punish me at all. Last time I was somewhat mean to my mom, I had a bad experience at work and something bad happened to me. I am so mad this is my naseeb. This happened after I was reading quran and athkar.
I am so ashamed of myself and I hate my mom for putting me in the situation to do that to her. I am so ashamed, but I blame her for the saya2aat she given me.
I am 27 yrs old. And I am female.
Situation, my mom hates when I play with my hair. She told me it annoys her but I do it subconsciously. When she saw me do it, she came and started pulling and twisting it so hard it hurted my brain. I was also mean to her earlier this morning before this happened.
Will my good opportunities still happen now that I did that? Mind you she made prayer these good opportunities don't happen. Will Allah forget and forgive what I did if I ask for forgiveness. Will Allah continue to bless me?
I need advice on what to do so I receive 0 punishment or any bad karma from Allah. You know they say what goes around comes around. I need 0 punishment. I need Allah to erase it from my book so it is like it never happened. I want continued blessings now and for years to come and for the rest of my life. I need good happy life. I need my dreams to come true. I wish this day didn't happen.
Can please someone reply to me. I am in desperate need here.
Reply

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Abz2000
12-21-2018, 07:49 AM
Umar said, “I have gone on fasting, giving alms, praying and freeing slaves because of what I did that day and out of fear for what I said that day, until I felt that I had made up.

http://mahajjah.com/chapter-two-the-...t-hudaybiyyah/




fact is that good deeds cancel evil deeds by degree on the scales.
And I'm no angel.
Reply

eesa the kiwi
12-21-2018, 08:10 AM
Originally Posted by ceylincemal
Can please someone reply to me. I am in desperate need here.
Asalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatu

Theres no such thing as karma in Islam so get that idea out of your head. As for being afflicted with a punishment in this dunya the one who repents from sin is like the one who does not sin

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

The one who repents from sin is like one who did not sin, and if the sin is removed, then the punishment and consequences are also removed.

End quote from Sharh al-‘Umdah (4/39)

He also said:

The one who repents from sin is like the one who did not sin; as that is the case, he is included among those who fear Allah and thus deserves that Allah should grant him relief and a way out, for our Prophet Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) is the Prophet of mercy, so everyone who repents will have a way out according to his teachings, unlike the teachings of those who came before us, for among them the one who repented would still be punished with penalties such as killing themselves and so on.

End quote from Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa (33/35)

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

Moreover, Allah, may He be exalted, makes the one who repents from sin like the one who did not sin. So whoever meets Him having repented sincerely, He will not punish him for that from which he has repented. Similarly, in terms of rulings in this world, if a person repents sincerely before being brought to the ruler, the hadd punishment is waived in his case, according to the more correct of the two scholarly opinions. But if he has been brought to the ruler, then his repentance will not cause the hadd punishment to be waived from him, and that is lest this be taken as a means to evade the hadd punishments decreed by Allah.

End quote from I‘laam al-Muwaqqi‘een (3/115)

He also said:

Allah, may He be glorified, has guaranteed to the one who repents from shirk (associating others with Allah), murder and zina (fornication or adultery) that He will turn his bad deeds into good deeds. This is a general ruling which applies to everyone who repents from sin.

Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Say: O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily, Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”

[al-Zumar 39:53].

Not a single sin is excluded from this general meaning, but this applies specifically to those who repent.

End quote from al-Jawaab al-Kaafi (p. 165)

Make taubah and inshaAllah your sin will be wiped. You still have to make things right between you and your mother so try think about how you will make it up to her maybe take her out to dinner Allahu alim
Reply

ceylincemal
12-21-2018, 08:17 AM
Originally Posted by Abz2000
Umar said, “I have gone on fasting, giving alms, praying and freeing slaves because of what I did that day and out of fear for what I said that day, until I felt that I had made up.

http://mahajjah.com/chapter-two-the-...t-hudaybiyyah/




fact is that good deeds cancel evil deeds by degree on the scales.
And I'm no angel.
Thank you very much. I have no energy to fast and don't have enough money. Any advice on what to do. And there's now scars on her arms and bruises and redness because of me. Shame on me.

- - - Updated - - -

Originally Posted by eesa the kiwi
Asalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatu

Theres no such thing as karma in Islam so get that idea out of your head. As for being afflicted with a punishment in this dunya the one who repents from sin is like the one who does not sin

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

The one who repents from sin is like one who did not sin, and if the sin is removed, then the punishment and consequences are also removed.

End quote from Sharh al-‘Umdah (4/39)

He also said:

The one who repents from sin is like the one who did not sin; as that is the case, he is included among those who fear Allah and thus deserves that Allah should grant him relief and a way out, for our Prophet Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) is the Prophet of mercy, so everyone who repents will have a way out according to his teachings, unlike the teachings of those who came before us, for among them the one who repented would still be punished with penalties such as killing themselves and so on.

End quote from Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa (33/35)

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

Moreover, Allah, may He be exalted, makes the one who repents from sin like the one who did not sin. So whoever meets Him having repented sincerely, He will not punish him for that from which he has repented. Similarly, in terms of rulings in this world, if a person repents sincerely before being brought to the ruler, the hadd punishment is waived in his case, according to the more correct of the two scholarly opinions. But if he has been brought to the ruler, then his repentance will not cause the hadd punishment to be waived from him, and that is lest this be taken as a means to evade the hadd punishments decreed by Allah.

End quote from I‘laam al-Muwaqqi‘een (3/115)

He also said:

Allah, may He be glorified, has guaranteed to the one who repents from shirk (associating others with Allah), murder and zina (fornication or adultery) that He will turn his bad deeds into good deeds. This is a general ruling which applies to everyone who repents from sin.

Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Say: O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily, Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”

[al-Zumar 39:53].

Not a single sin is excluded from this general meaning, but this applies specifically to those who repent.

End quote from al-Jawaab al-Kaafi (p. 165)

Make taubah and inshaAllah your sin will be wiped. You still have to make things right between you and your mother so try think about how you will make it up to her maybe take her out to dinner Allahu alim

Thank you very much Brother.

A couple of things

1. There are scars/bruises/redness/nail marks a lot on her arm, multiple.
2. How do I repent?
3. If Allah forgives my sin, will he grant me my opportunities and dreams if I repent?
Reply

eesa the kiwi
12-21-2018, 08:36 AM
Originally Posted by ceylincemal
Thank you very much. I have no energy to fast and don't have enough money. Any advice on what to do. And there's now scars on her arms and bruises and redness because of me. Shame on me.

- - - Updated - - -




Thank you very much Brother.

A couple of things

1. There are scars/bruises/redness/nail marks a lot on her arm, multiple.
2. How do I repent?
3. If Allah forgives my sin, will he grant me my opportunities and dreams if I repent?
Just a disclaimer I'm no alim
1 like this is bad but Allah will still forgive inshaAllah as he forgives all sins to the one who repents to him sincerely
2. Regret what you have done, make a firm intention not to do it again then ask Allah to forgive you
3 Allahu alim sister that is up to him but even if you don't see a dream dont lose hope and remember this beautiful ayah


“Say: O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily, Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”

[al-Zumar 39:53].-

May Allah bless you in both dunya and al aakirah
Reply

Abz2000
12-21-2018, 08:38 AM
Weak source and not quoted as a hadith - research authenticity for yourself and reference if possible.




Before Ikrima came, the Prophet (pbuh) told those present there, “Ikrima ibn Abu Jahl is coming to you. Don’t curse his father because the cursing of a dead hurts a living person and does not reach the dead.” When Ikrima reached, the Prophet (pbuh) welcomed him. Ikrima said, “O Prophet of Allah, Umm Hakim told me that you have granted me amnesty.” He replied, “She is right and you have full security now.” Ikrima then recited the Kalima and became a Muslim.
He requested the Prophet (pbuh) to pray for the forgiveness of his past deeds. Then he said, “O Prophet of God, whatever money I have spent in preventing people from coming to the way of Allah, I will spend double the amount in inviting people to the right path. And whatever battles I have fought against Islam I will fight twice that number for the sake of Islam.”


http://www.arabnews.com/news/495461
Reply

xboxisdead
12-21-2018, 04:56 PM
Now I have a question to ask...what if it was not the mother who pulled her hair and caused her so much that forced her to retaliate back against her mother...but instead it was the dad who pulled her hair. The daughter caused bruises and marks on his arm and hand, what do you say to that situation?
Reply

MazharShafiq
12-21-2018, 06:34 PM
Aslaam o alikum
Make taubah and inshaAllah your sin will be wiped. You still have to make things right between you and your mother so try think about how you will make it up to her maybe take her out to dinner Allahu alim
Reply

Dont.know
12-21-2018, 07:02 PM
Keep trying and never stop trying to be a good Muslim you'll er sometimes but don't let that put you off

I understand what you're going through and know it can be very difficult - just do everything you can to avoid an argument
Reply

*charisma*
12-21-2018, 07:06 PM
Originally Posted by xboxisdead
Now I have a question to ask...what if it was not the mother who pulled her hair and caused her so much that forced her to retaliate back against her mother...but instead it was the dad who pulled her hair. The daughter caused bruises and marks on his arm and hand, what do you say to that situation?
Irrelevant. Please stop making things mom vs dad, woman vs man.

Originally Posted by ceylincemal
Today, my mom was pulling my hair. She kept forcing it, it hurt so bad to the point I was telling her to stop. She would do it more forcefully that I forcefully embedded my nails hard into both her arms/hands and scratched them. Her hands have so many bruise/nail marks and are red/blue. I also pushed her and kicked her in the stomach in self defense many times when she came to hit me. I hit her a while back too. I am so ashamed.
Now, she has bruises that won't go away. Her arms are red/bruises and I am sick of this happened.
I have many opportunities coming for me. I am so fearful and ashamed of what I did. I am on period now, so cannot pray or touch Quran. I don't want Allah to punish me at all. Last time I was somewhat mean to my mom, I had a bad experience at work and something bad happened to me. I am so mad this is my naseeb. This happened after I was reading quran and athkar.
I am so ashamed of myself and I hate my mom for putting me in the situation to do that to her. I am so ashamed, but I blame her for the saya2aat she given me.
I am 27 yrs old. And I am female.
Situation, my mom hates when I play with my hair. She told me it annoys her but I do it subconsciously. When she saw me do it, she came and started pulling and twisting it so hard it hurted my brain. I was also mean to her earlier this morning before this happened.
Will my good opportunities still happen now that I did that? Mind you she made prayer these good opportunities don't happen. Will Allah forget and forgive what I did if I ask for forgiveness. Will Allah continue to bless me?
I need advice on what to do so I receive 0 punishment or any bad karma from Allah. You know they say what goes around comes around. I need 0 punishment. I need Allah to erase it from my book so it is like it never happened. I want continued blessings now and for years to come and for the rest of my life. I need good happy life. I need my dreams to come true. I wish this day didn't happen.
Your mom shouldn't be hitting you while you're an adult. However since this is the situation you are in, you should never hit your mom either. I can understand you scratching her when she pulled your hair, but kicking her in the stomach is not an excuse because that means you showed aggression not self-defense. I'd suggest you should find ways to prevent any violence against your mom and to diffuse the situation as much as possible by just locking yourself in another room until everything calms down or even humbling yourself and apologizing before it even gets to that point.

You both need to communicate effectively with each other instead of showing violence or aggression when angry. Take some time and talk to her about this, even if you think she will not understand or take anything into consideration, at least put the effort in doing so. To be honest, you're too old to treat your parents this way. This is the age when a person awakens and tries to honor their parents and please them in any way possible. Your mom may have a controlling personality, so you will never make the situation any better if you try to depict controlling behavior with her. It is best not to react. The issues that you both have need to be resolved soon. As everyone else has said, you should apologize to her as well and next time not to repeat the same thing.
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xboxisdead
12-21-2018, 07:46 PM
As for the OP....I don't envy your situation....I wouldn't know what i would do if I was in your shoes...my mom hate having beard but we comprised in having a goteque and shave it and take care of it. This kept peace in the home and I understand one day she will leave the world...and from there I can do whatever I want. Sister have you ever considered getting married to a good man? Maybe if you have your own home you will have less confrontation with your mother.
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