PDA

View Full Version : break engagement



sofya
12-25-2018, 03:51 PM
Hi could someone else aside from the couple who was arranged could break the engagement? My friend is pregnant with child with her fiancée (they been together for long) however since they weren't married in Islam, the guys parents has arranged him to another girl. She didn't know she was pregnant after they broke up. The guy is confused as his family is putting pressure to marry the arranged girl out of reputation of the family. What can my friend do as she is with child? Could she break the engagement of her boyfriend? Does Islam law could protect her and her child?
Reply

Login/Register to hide ads. Scroll down for more posts
*charisma*
12-25-2018, 04:26 PM
Originally Posted by sofya
Hi could someone else aside from the couple who was arranged could break the engagement? My friend is pregnant with child with her fiancée (they been together for long) however since they weren't married in Islam, the guys parents has arranged him to another girl. She didn't know she was pregnant after they broke up. The guy is confused as his family is putting pressure to marry the arranged girl out of reputation of the family. What can my friend do as she is with child? Could she break the engagement of her boyfriend? Does Islam law could protect her and her child?
There is no real concept of engagement in Islam, only Islamic marriage. So if they were not islamically married, and she got pregnant, then they had unlawful intercourse (premarital sex) and that is a great sin in Islam. Is she also Muslim?
Reply

sofya
12-25-2018, 04:39 PM
No she is not a muslim, his fiancée is. And they have hidden the relationship to the guys family although his mom has found out and thus pressure his son for years to break up and got arranged to another girl. However they broke up after sometime coz his mother threaten him and emotional blackmailed him and then immediately got the guy engaged to another.. But she is pregnant and thus, could she do something to break the engagement?
Reply

*charisma*
12-25-2018, 04:57 PM
Originally Posted by sofya
No she is not a muslim, his fiancée is. And they have hidden the relationship to the guys family although his mom has found out and thus pressure his son for years to break up and got arranged to another girl. However they broke up after sometime coz his mother threaten him and emotional blackmailed him and then immediately got the guy engaged to another.. But she is pregnant and thus, could she do something to break the engagement?
Ok so the pregnant girl is NOT a Muslim? right? Is she a hindu?

But the new fiance is a Muslim? right?

And the pregnant girl wants to break the engagement with the new fiance? right?

Is he and the new fiance islamically married?

SOrry for all the questions, just making sure that I get the information correct.
Reply

Welcome, Guest!
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up
sofya
12-25-2018, 08:37 PM
pregnant girl is muslim, she is Christian.
New fiancée is a muslim from their community, from the family close friends
The guy and new fiancé is not Islamic married just engaged. No nikah or what is performed.
The pregnant girl wants to break the father of her child and his new fiancée's engagement.
Pregnant girl wants to know if there is something she can do about it for the sake of her child. The guy is still confused since his family has threaten him and will be disowning him.

What are the grounds to break an Islamic engagement? What would make the woman or the family break the engagement?
Reply

AabiruSabeel
12-25-2018, 09:30 PM
Fornication is one of the major sins in Islam. It is not something that should be taken lightly. People are so desensitized now, it is shocking.

Same goes for accusation of adultery. There are Hadd punishments for fornicators/adulterers as well as for those falsely accuse a person of adultery.




As for breaking off their engagement, I don't think there is anything you can do about it. It is up to the man and the woman who are engaged, they can break it off if they want. But first they should all sincerely repent to Allah if they have indeed committed grave sins.
Reply

sofya
12-25-2018, 09:47 PM
That is well understood, but my question is what can my friend (pregnant woman) do since the guy was arranged/engaged to someone else now. For the sake of her child, she wants to know if there is a way to break the engagement to the new fiancé and father of his child? The guys parents is adamant that he got marry to the new fiancée. But the guy is confused and my friend (pregnant girl) don't know what to do. What both of them to do? Will telling the guys family or the new fiancée family will break the engagement? as it is not legally binding anyways.

What are the grounds to break an engagement in islam?
Reply

xboxisdead
12-25-2018, 09:49 PM
Originally Posted by sofya
Hi could someone else aside from the couple who was arranged could break the engagement? My friend is pregnant with child with her fiancée (they been together for long) however since they weren't married in Islam, the guys parents has arranged him to another girl. She didn't know she was pregnant after they broke up. The guy is confused as his family is putting pressure to marry the arranged girl out of reputation of the family. What can my friend do as she is with child? Could she break the engagement of her boyfriend? Does Islam law could protect her and her child?
That child does not belong to the fornicator (male) it belongs only to the female fornicator. He have no rights to the child. The mother have no right to enforce child support on him. The child does not inherit from the male fornicator. The child inherits from the mother only. The child does not get the last name from the male fornicator, the child only get the last name of the mother. The male fornicator could easily have nothing to do with the child, get married halal way and raise a family on his way without having a single relationship with the child, the female fornicator have ZERO right to enforce the male fornicator to do any parenting to the child. IT IS OBLIGATORY ON THE FEMALE FORNICATOR alone to financially provide for the child and raise the child on her own and if that child is a boy...it is on the shoulder of the mother to teach that boy how to become a man and it is not in one inch of a milliinch responsibility of the male fornicator to do any of that. He have full right to marry whom he ever wishes, make family under the umbrella of that marriage and call these children as he is own. That child is a stranger to him as he is a stranger to that child.
Reply

AabiruSabeel
12-25-2018, 10:02 PM
Originally Posted by sofya
she wants to know if there is a way to break the engagement
How can a third person break a promise or agreement between two other persons? It is something which only those two can break.

It is not legally binding, so they can break it off for any reason or even without any reason. It is entirely up to them.
Reply

azc
12-26-2018, 02:53 AM
https://islamqa.info/en/answers/3359...0%2C2593076126
Originally Posted by xboxisdead
That child does not belong to the fornicator (male) it belongs only to the female fornicator. He have no rights to the child. The mother have no right to enforce child support on him. The child does not inherit from the male fornicator. The child inherits from the mother only. The child does not get the last name from the male fornicator, the child only get the last name of the mother. The male fornicator could easily have nothing to do with the child, get married halal way and raise a family on his way without having a single relationship with the child, the female fornicator have ZERO right to enforce the male fornicator to do any parenting to the child. IT IS OBLIGATORY ON THE FEMALE FORNICATOR alone to financially provide for the child and raise the child on her own and if that child is a boy...it is on the shoulder of the mother to teach that boy how to become a man and it is not in one inch of a milliinch responsibility of the male fornicator to do any of that. He have full right to marry whom he ever wishes, make family under the umbrella of that marriage and call these children as he is own. That child is a stranger to him as he is a stranger to that child.
Reply

xboxisdead
12-26-2018, 03:19 AM
Exactly! Like what I said. I only said above because I researched it and confirmed it is true. However, there are debates and discussions but it doesn't change the fact to avoid break down of marriage the male fornicator have zero right to that child and the mother alone holds that burden on her shoulder. So many women in USA are screaming and shouting and throwing stones at men in why they are failing to fulfill their duties but what we see here..both the male and female in USA are equally evil and fornicator and we are oppressing the men instead of punishing them both from committing evil acts. The male fornicator loses all his rights to the child, the child loses all his or her rights to the father and the mother is left burdened to do everything on her own..AND WORSE is when we ask society to chip in and help her. NO!!! NO!! Society should NOT AT ALL help the female fornicator.....the burden of everything should be left on her shoulder to discourage more females going that route and enforce the importance of marriage and keep lineage protected. The child should get the education he or she needs of course..no punishment should be done to the child...but the mother should be punished and her punishment in additional to the punishment of committing the crime..that the burden of raising the child should be exclusively on her shoulder. She should find mentor to the child, she should work and bring financial support to the child, she should make sure (if it is a boy) that he get a good male role model...she should be the one who make sure they are fully educated and raised in proper Islamic way. Time for fun is over for her. Best thing for her to do....if I was a female....is I would get married to a good man right away to protect my honor, dignity and make sure the child have a good male role model to raise him correctly. I would not raise the child alone and chant on TV....see I am a strong independent woman who can do it alone without a man...men are unnecessarily mantra and become this liberal..empowered strong woman. Because that will only entice new girls to do haraam...cause break down of family...marriage ...and this will breed boys been raised without dad who will end up failing at school, have antisocial skill, bad behavior skill..raise crimes, high suicide rate, blah blah and thus we have the Western world all over again. Gender roles will be destroyed...it is chaos..anything can be done...no boundaries been set and evil act will be normalized...and and and.....

it is amazing the domino effect when fornication take in effect and especially if it is to be glorified. Amazing how destructive fornication is! Amazing! Amazing! Amazing!
Reply

azc
12-26-2018, 05:06 AM
@xboxisdead :

This fatwa is in favour of Muslim women but you took it otherwise.

Moreover, neither this fatwa nor your opinion is applied to this case as she is not a Muslim.

Societies differ from country to country. Majority of women is still oppressed around the globe.
What you are saying about your society isn't denied.
Reply

xboxisdead
12-26-2018, 05:41 AM
Originally Posted by azc
@xboxisdead :

This fatwa is in favour of Muslim women but you took it otherwise.

Moreover, neither this fatwa nor your opinion is applied to this case as she is not a Muslim.

Societies differ from country to country. Majority of women are still oppressed around the globe.
What you are saying about your society isn't denied.
I did not take any otherwise. What I said match exactly that fatwa. That fatwa said that the man he have no access to the child when he fornicate...i said the man he have no access to that child when he fornicate. That fatwa said that he have no right to have access to the child or financially support the child. I said he have no access to the child or financially support the child. The fatwa said he have no lineage to that child...I said he have no lineage to that child. I said the child inherit from the mother and get her last name that is what the fatwa said if she is not married...the child inherit from the mother and get her last name. Nothing I said indicate otherwise.

i said it is the obligation of the mother to raise and take care of the child..honestly that same concept applies even if she is married to said man and that child is the progeny of said man. It is the duty and obligation of the mother to raise the child...if she does otherwise she is an unfit mother. Don't you agree 100%? So how what I said is wrong or otherwise. But what you said it is true...it does not apply to her because she is not Muslim......he should move on. He made a big mistake. I feel sad for the child though. It is birthed from a womb of a non-Muslim mother. IN MY OPINION the Muslim man did a horrible crime..he gave his "child away" to a non-Muslim mother who he have no connection too......I feel really sad for that poor child. And majority of Muslim men are also oppressed around the globe. We are all oppressed around the globe...even animals are tortured and oppressed around the globe. Having put emphasis on women been oppressed sorta devalue the rest of the species on Earth. Women are not the only important soul on Earth...we all have values and we are all oppressed and we all face calamities and as long as the human being is a Muslim whether he is male or female insight of Allah he have values and rights. As such I look at everyone been oppressed and is a Muslim need a voice...whether that is a boy or a girl. Don't you agree?

But the most oppressed people on Earth are children! They have the least amount of voice and their plea are muffled by adults who care nothing but about themselves. If I was to weep it would be the children whose rights are stripped away and are abused by ADULTS!! That is where I would prefer to put my rage and anger and give voice too. Children.
Reply

Junon
12-28-2018, 11:28 PM
Salaam

Originally Posted by AabiruSabeel
Fornication is one of the major sins in Islam. It is not something that should be taken lightly. People are so desensitized now, it is shocking.
You want to get even more desensitised check out Muslim Twitter :hmm:. . . . . . . .
Reply

azc
12-29-2018, 06:40 AM
@xboxisdead :

''IT IS OBLIGATORY ON THE FEMALE FORNICATOR alone to financially provide for the child and raise the child on her own and if that child is a boy...it is on the shoulder of the mother to teach that boy how to become a man and it is not in one inch of a milliinch responsibility of the male fornicator to do any of that. He have full right to marry whom he ever wishes, make family under the umbrella of that marriage and call these children as he is own. That child is a stranger to him as he is a stranger to that child.''

OP is a Hindu and her friend is a Christian.....

And you are trying to say that ONLY girl has to suffer whereas the boy can enjoy his life as usual.

Is this the teaching of Islam...?
Reply

xboxisdead
12-29-2018, 07:00 AM
First of all...you know as well as I do...that the man have no tie to that child. She can deny him access to that child because they did zina both of them. To be honest...both should be punished for committing the crime. Do you know what I mean? If you want to follow it correctly..both should be stone or punished for committing zina...NOR DOES ISLAM prompt that the man get punished and the woman get glorified for committing zina...sex out of marriage. We did that experiment in the West by the way. Guess what we have....majority of children are raised by single mothers...what you are prompting is exactly what is been done in the Western, feminism, liberal world and it failed. Most of the children are born outside of marriage...majority of men are been put in jail for child support for a child that is been born outside of marriage and more women are glorified for doing evil act which makes more girls want to have children outside of marriage ...nowadays girls in Western world feel like they earn a crown to have sexual relationship outside of marriage and have children...and we know that failed. We know that children born outside of marriage end up failing at school, have antisocial skills, the list goes on. Funny how you come at me here while in this very form...this one we have a topic about fatherhood is dying out. Why? Why do you think? Well..for one thing...we put all blame on the man and not punish the woman....thus girls are open wide and free to have intercourse with boy over boy over boy knowing very well the entire society is going to go foot and nail to protect her and make sure she doesn't suffer and she get the highest education while we throw all the gun at the guy. Let me tell you this is why marriage is destroyed and family is broken up. Both man and woman need to be punished equally for committing the crime. What did the fatwa say? Didn't the fatwa say that the male fornicator is not allowed to have access to the children and is not allowed to pay financially for that child? Isn't that what the fatwa said? Great...so that is his punishment..why are you objecting to that and saying he is running free? If a man committing zina that child is not his..he have no right to raise that child...isn't that an incentive for men to get married to have some say ...and I mean some say in raising his children? Great you are saying....the girl suffer? You know what she SHOULD NOT DO??!

COMMITTING ZINA!! You really think you will help her by appraising her and punishing the boy and not punishing the girl? Noooo...because when you punish the boy you are cleaning his sins in this world before the afterlife...when you don't punish the girl....she will have all her sins cleaned in the afterlife....which do you prefer, azc? To have your sins cleaned in this world or afterlife? She does not want to suffer? Don't commit Zina? Don't disobey Allah. Don't disobey Allah and get married before having a relationship. The boy is not allowed to access his children, raise his children or pay financially for the child. There is another alternative to the matter..the boy marries the girl..protect her honor and dignity and he is obliged to financially take care of her and his children...PRETTY MUCH LIKE part of my family member did that. My aunt committed zina with a rich Saudi Arabia of bad character and evil conduct and obtained his money in haraam way...but she wanted wealth and power...AND THAT IS MY FAMILY member I am going to say it here.....she committed zina with him...literally before marriage...and he married her to protect his and her honor and they had lots of children. Let me tell you...majority of these children that came from them are of extreme bad character and in the end....they got divorced ...she went out of her way to destroy him...stole from him...did everything she can to hurt him when they divorced and the children are wild of character.

That is from my family line I wrote above. But in the end they got married after committing this evil sin. Don't you ever give excuse for girls when they commit sins because that opens to destruction of society and have West all over again. Both should get punished and they should get punished according to their gender and no gender favoritism. If the the man does not care he have no access to his children and is happy to go free forcing him to pay child support is not the way to go. First of all it is not obligatory on him to pay financially to the child because it is done outside of marriage and if you force him to do it...more women will think it is green light to commit this sin which would open to the break down of marriage....but first punish him publicly for the crime of zina and same for her...so both men and women know the seriousness of such crime and it is no joke and you will get punished and then shame them into marrying each other so that he is obliged to pay for the child and show society that you have to get married to make babies and doing zina is never a good thing.

YOU WANT TO AVOID BECOMING THE NEXT USA in MUSLIM country where marriage is a joke...lineage is a joke and breakdown of the family is the norm.
Reply

azc
12-29-2018, 05:43 PM
@xboxisdead :

Punishment of fornication isn't easily applied
https://islamqa.org/hanafi/darulifta...0%2C2074668781

According to fatwa you are discussing the child will be attributed to the person whoever does a pregnant woman marry with, but if the child is born prior to 6 month, it goes to mother and in case of a single mother as well but as far as financial burden on fornicator is concerned that fatwa is silent.

however, what punishment or responsibility of fornicator regarding the woman and the child is concerned the judge in an Islamic state take the decision by doing ijtihad in case Adilla e shariah is silent regarding it. Because in an Islamic state the woman isn't supposed to go for job then who will give financial support to woman or bear the expenses of a woman and her child, is to be decided by the judge.
Indeed, the male fornicator is deprived of the right of paternity, but he can't be allowed to be scotfree. All the pros and cons of the case will have to be taken into consideration by the judge and he will take the decision accordingly.

Since this matter is between a Christian and a Muslim which seems to be an unprecedented case the decision to settle it entirely depends on discretion of the judge.
Reply

xboxisdead
12-29-2018, 06:04 PM
Originally Posted by azc
@xboxisdead :

Punishment of fornication isn't easily applied
https://islamqa.org/hanafi/darulifta...0%2C2074668781

According to fatwa you are discussing the child will be attributed to the person whoever does a pregnant woman marry with, but if the child is born prior to 6 month, it goes to mother and in case of a single mother as well but as far as financial burden on fornicator is concerned that fatwa is silent.

however, what punishment or responsibility of fornicator regarding the woman and the child is concerned the judge in an Islamic state take the decision by doing ijtihad in case Adilla e shariah is silent regarding it. Because in an Islamic state the woman isn't supposed to go for job then who will give financial support to woman or bear the expenses of a woman and her child, is to be decided by the judge.
Indeed, the male fornicator is deprived of the right of paternity, but he can't be allowed to be scotfree. All the pros and cons of the case will have to be taken into consideration by the judge and he will take the decision accordingly.

Since this matter is between a Christian and a Muslim which seems to be an unprecedented case the decision to settle it entirely depends on discretion of the judge.
I just only pray that people do not exploit the mercy of Allah (Subhanahu Wa Tala) and believe that they can enjoy doing Zina left and right and then have a breakdown of family. Break down of family have shown in Western world is a disaster to society and break down of society and destruction of a country. I obey Allah (SWT) and his prophets and submit to Allah and worship only Allah (SWT). But don't look at me in a negative way azc if I have a face of disgust or repulse +o( when I see people make fun of Allah's law or THEY THINK THEY CAN exploit his law or his mercy or believe just because Allah is merciful that gives them green light to do whatever they want and just fornicate left and right and have illegitimate children left and right and believe marriage is not necessary and all they have to do is keep quiet and believe nothing will happen to them.
Reply

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 4
    Last Post: 10-15-2013, 12:37 AM
  2. Replies: 39
    Last Post: 12-10-2007, 11:01 AM
  3. Replies: 36
    Last Post: 08-31-2007, 02:51 PM

IslamicBoard

Experience a richer experience on our mobile app!