Signs that you're Punished in worldly life

[Nitro Zeus]

Today, I think I have committed disbelief out of intense uncontrolled anger and now I deeply regret for my deed.

I wonder, why when I have something then later on it happens to ve revealed my secret? Because, there are things which I have hidden from my everyone and yet, they still get revealed. How? I dont know. And now when this is revealed, then I started to feel embarresment and regrets. And I'm having also other big problems, and my Christian mother asked me furiously: "why do you like to make me suffer?!" and I replyed her back like this: "because, I like to destroy things, it is my passion, my favorite thing to do!!!" this is only out of anger just because I have accidently broken the zipper from my shoes and I have hidden this knowledge from my family for days fearing that I'll make my mother be very angry if she will know this, but it looks like she has found it and now whole day she is very angry and I too for my stupidity. And honestly, when I say something at times of intens anger, I say only lies while in reality I dont do this. And when I'm very angry, I say horrible things without controlling my mouth, and later I feel deep regrets for my words because I know they are true such as the replay I told to my mother when she asked me out of anger.

I wonder, could this be one of the signs that I am punished by God in this world? Could this be one of His blessings for saving me from the punishment of Hereafter and I dont notice it? Because, I've been told that if God Punishes you in this world, then in Hereafter there will be no need of no type of punishment for you have tasted the punishment in this world. Can you please tell me? I'm so scared about Hereafter.