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FilleTriste
01-22-2019, 02:56 PM
Okay, so I am a noob here... I am 14 years old (born in Dubai, U.A.E., on the 9th of May, 2004 -- AKA the worst day for my parents; they wanted a boy, LMAO:Emoji49::Emoji7:!), female (the first problem in my life, because honestly, I got no rights or freedom in my religion. Do not give me the "Oh, your gender has the gift of getting pregnant blah blah" ---- cause, yeah sure I like babies, but I do not want that to be the only reason I exist... Another reason I hate being a girl corresponds with what I mentioned earlier about my parents wanting a boy, but oopsie woopsie for them!), in high school, from Pakistan (AKA sexism hotspot), and officially hated by God for some mistakes I made in the past (I apologized and pray everyday, but apparently he doesn't care, LOL!).

There it is. That is why I am here. I will post my crap soon, but otherwise I will just go with the flow of life, waiting for death.


PS: will I get banned for being HONEST? Cause else, I will just have to leave this website. Also, I know I sound mad in this post, but I really will not get mad at any well-meant reply (unless you start something and attack me, then let the beef begin). Also, what I have mentioned above is the quarter of the quarter of the half of the quarter of my problem.















Yes, I am broken. Help. Please.imsad
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*charisma*
01-22-2019, 03:27 PM
Assalamu Alaikum

Yup, sounds like a 14 year old girl! :p

Welcome to the forum. And there's nothing wrong with being a girl!
I'm guessing your parents are probably strict with you. Well, you're not alone. However, you being 14 years old, you should listen to your parents and respect them as long as what they tell you to do is correct.

And not having your du'as answered doesn't mean Allah hates you. You should remove that idea from your head.
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FilleTriste
01-22-2019, 04:48 PM
Originally Posted by *charisma*
Assalamu Alaikum

Yup, sounds like a 14 year old girl! :p

Welcome to the forum. And there's nothing wrong with being a girl!
I'm guessing your parents are probably strict with you. Well, you're not alone. However, you being 14 years old, you should listen to your parents and respect them as long as what they tell you to do is correct.

And not having your du'as answered doesn't mean Allah hates you. You should remove that idea from your head.


(BTW, the image you removed was supposed to be a GIF, but it is fine since it didn't relate to the post much; just wanted a quick crying GIF just for the meme-ish effect) Walaikum As'Salam. Of course people are going to assume I am being a hormonal teen, so I am not surprised. Thank you for the reply, though. I do want to talk about what I am exactly going through -- like with concrete details, but I don't know if I should create a new thread or just post it here. I want to explain why I am upset. Trust me, I am not whining over a broken phone or no new clothes; I am on the verge of feeling depressed over other issues (they are age-related to an extent). I am too afraid to talk to my parents or older sister (who is 17) about my hardships; I do feel comfortable sharing it with strangers... imsad Trust me, when I open up, you will see why I even mentioned God and my parents in the first place.
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Eric H
01-22-2019, 05:03 PM
Greetings and peace be with you Pink_Uniqueorn; and welcome to the forum;

I am trying to think back to the troubles our 14 year old daughter gave us. Our 15 year old granddaughter is giving us similar but different challenges to overcome. I am thinking, that when you get to the grand old age of forty, you will look back and think your parents weren't quiet so bad after all.

Never give up hope in Allah, if you look at his 99 names, he is compassionate, merciful and three of his names are the forgiver. If you can become the person that Allah intends you to be, you will set the world on fire. I am not talking about flames and matches here.

:barak:
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*charisma*
01-22-2019, 05:16 PM
Originally Posted by Pink_Uniqueorn
(BTW, the image you removed was supposed to be a GIF, but it is fine since it didn't relate to the post much; just wanted a quick crying GIF just for the meme-ish effect) Walaikum As'Salam. Of course people are going to assume I am being a hormonal teen, so I am not surprised. Thank you for the reply, though. I do want to talk about what I am exactly going through -- like with concrete details, but I don't know if I should create a new thread or just post it here. I want to explain why I am upset. Trust me, I am not whining over a broken phone or no new clothes; I am on the verge of feeling depressed over other issues (they are age-related to an extent). I am too afraid to talk to my parents or older sister (who is 17) about my hardships; I do feel comfortable sharing it with strangers... Trust me, when I open up, you will see why I even mentioned God and my parents in the first place.
Never stated anything about hormones. :) It is rather that you are 14 years old and there are certain characteristics that come with that age. You may start a new thread in the advice section if you prefer and leave this one as your intro thread.
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FilleTriste
01-22-2019, 05:21 PM
Originally Posted by Eric H
Greetings and peace be with you Pink_Uniqueorn; and welcome to the forum;

I am trying to think back to the troubles our 14 year old daughter gave us. Our 15 year old granddaughter is giving us similar but different challenges to overcome. I am thinking, that when you get to the grand old age of forty, you will look back and think your parents weren't quiet so bad after all.

Never give up hope in Allah, if you look at his 99 names, he is compassionate, merciful and three of his names are the forgiver. If you can become the person that Allah intends you to be, you will set the world on fire. I am not talking about flames and matches here.

:barak:

Thank you for the greeting and the reply. I just do not know what to do or expect anymore. Nothing really works out well. If one thing goes well, another goes horribly wrong. Eventually, everything gets worse and I feel like I am too stressed in between school, crush, impressing parents and friends, etc.

- - - Updated - - -

Originally Posted by *charisma*
Never stated anything about hormones. :) It is rather that you are 14 years old and there are certain characteristics that come with that age. You may start a new thread in the advice section if you prefer and leave this one as your intro thread.

Thanks. I will go post it over there. Though I feel like once I let others know what I am going through, I would be judged but I will just go take the risk.
Reply

*charisma*
01-22-2019, 05:35 PM
Originally Posted by Pink_Uniqueorn
Thanks. I will go post it over there. Though I feel like once I let others know what I am going through, I would be judged but I will just go take the risk.
Well the reality of it is that you or your situation is going to get judged regardless. That's just a humanistic trait that we all have; it's what keeps us safe and allows us to make decisions on a day to day basis. :) I don't think anyone here is mean if that is what you're afraid of. You should expect respect as we expect it from you.

Even though we don't share souls, sometimes we share similar experiences and we can empathize with each other. However if there is a situation and you want to know if you're in the wrong, then we will tell you, because we'd prefer it that you don't do anything wrong. If you need advice, then we will advise you. Sometimes we think we understand the world, but there is a lot more learning to do, so I hope if you are willing to share your issues then you are also willing to take the advice from those who understand and are knowledgable.
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Nájlá
01-22-2019, 05:38 PM
:sl:

:welcome:

Don't worry, life is not perfect we are SUPPOSED to have problems. No one is free from problems/struggles. This is life it's not perfect.

Start a new thread and inshaa'allah we might be able to give advice.

Nice to see Muslims at your age still engaging in Muslim forums :)
Reply

FilleTriste
01-22-2019, 05:45 PM
Originally Posted by *charisma*
Well the reality of it is that you or your situation is going to get judged regardless. That's just a humanistic trait that we all have; it's what keeps us safe and allows us to make decisions on a day to day basis. :) I don't think anyone here is mean if that is what you're afraid of. You should expect respect as we expect it from you.

Even though we don't share souls, sometimes we share similar experiences and we can empathize with each other. However if there is a situation and you want to know if you're in the wrong, then we will tell you, because we'd prefer it that you don't do anything wrong. If you need advice, then we will advise you. Sometimes we think we understand the world, but there is a lot more learning to do, so I hope if you are willing to share your issues then you are also willing to take the advice from those who understand and are knowledgable.

Thank you for the information. I am fine with advice, but I just don not want to get flamed or something. I had some bad experiences in the past on some other website. I am glad no one is going to be mean here, as you said. :love:

- - - Updated - - -

Originally Posted by Nájlá
:sl:

:welcome:

Don't worry, life is not perfect we are SUPPOSED to have problems. No one is free from problems/struggles. This is life it's not perfect.

Start a new thread and inshaa'allah we might be able to give advice.

Nice to see Muslims at your age still engaging in Muslim forums :)

Thanks. I will start a new thread once I am done with some homework. I know in-depth explanation(s) will get me the best advice.
Reply

Eric H
01-22-2019, 05:59 PM
Greetings and peace be with you Pink_Uniqueorn;

I just do not know what to expect anymore.
I shall be an immature 70 year old in April, and I still don't know what to expect anymore. Life just seems to be one crisis after another, and if you ever find peace for a month or two, then you have done well. In the last year I have crossed paths with rape, suicide, anger, fights, depression, alcoholics and drug addicts; break down in families, and some other minor stuff. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger; The struggles you face today; are to give you the strength for the future.

I say this not to depress you, but in the hope that you find resilience and perseverance. Fight all battles with kindness, fight evil with good. When life punches you in the face and beats you down; you always have to get up again, and how many times do you have to get up? The answer is always the same, just one more time. As our wise mod charisma said, you can always start a new thread, but not everyone is allowed to answer in the advice section.

In the spirit of never giving up hope in Allah,

May you be blessed in your struggles,

Eric
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FilleTriste
01-22-2019, 06:03 PM
Originally Posted by Eric H
Greetings and peace be with you Pink_Uniqueorn;



I shall be an immature 70 year old in April, and I still don't know what to expect anymore. Life just seems to be one crisis after another, and if you ever find peace for a month or two, then you have done well. In the last year I have crossed paths with rape, suicide, anger, fights, depression, alcoholics and drug addicts; break down in families, and some other minor stuff. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger; The struggles you face today; are to give you the strength for the future.

I say this not to depress you, but in the hope that you find resilience and perseverance. Fight all battles with kindness, fight evil with good. When life punches you in the face and beats you down; you always have to get up again, and how many times do you have to get up? The answer is always the same, just one more time. As our wise mod charisma said, you can always start a new thread, but not everyone is allowed to answer in the advice section.

In the spirit of never giving up hope in Allah,

May you be blessed in your struggles,

Eric

I am sorry to hear about your struggles. Thanks for the wisdom, though. It was pretty motivational. I will make a separate thread soon, which will be explaining everything. I hope God blesses you, too. :)
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Eric H
01-22-2019, 10:13 PM
Greetings and peace be with you Pink_Uniqueorn;

I am sorry to hear about your struggles.
Please do not feel sorry, I have the advantage of older age :D.

Somehow you have to get from your age to my age in one piece, and still be able to smile. Despite journeying through a lot of horrible stuff in life, I remain an optimist and I see hope. Beyond a doubt, I know that you also have this same ability to survive through life. You don't have to believe me or anyone else, you have to believe in yourself, and put your trust in Allah, and you will grow in faith.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a great mystery, Lord grant me the wisdom strength, peace and serenity to live this day and every day knowing that you hold me in the palm of your hand.

May you be blessed and be a blessing to those you love and care for,
Eric
Reply

FilleTriste
01-22-2019, 10:39 PM
Originally Posted by Eric H
Greetings and peace be with you Pink_Uniqueorn;



Please do not feel sorry, I have the advantage of older age :D.

Somehow you have to get from your age to my age in one piece, and still be able to smile. Despite journeying through a lot of horrible stuff in life, I remain an optimist and I see hope. Beyond a doubt, I know that you also have this same ability to survive through life. You don't have to believe me or anyone else, you have to believe in yourself, and put your trust in Allah, and you will grow in faith.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a great mystery, Lord grant me the wisdom strength, peace and serenity to live this day and every day knowing that you hold me in the palm of your hand.

May you be blessed and be a blessing to those you love and care for,
Eric

Thank you so much. Your positivity is really amazing. :)
Reply

Eric H
01-23-2019, 12:36 AM
Greetings and peace be with you Pink_Uniqueorn; sorry I can't reply to your thread in the advice section,

I was getting bullied at school
I would rather get hit, than live in fear of getting hit.

I worked with people with challenging behaviour for about twenty years; I don't know how many times I have been kicked, punched had things thrown at me and I have been called all sorts. I have found that the pain from getting hit lasts for about an hour or so. but the pain of living in fear can last for days, weeks and years. Hence I have found that the lesser pain is taking the hit.

Fear is self generating, if you think you should be afraid, then guess what, you will live in fear. About ten percent of our problems in life are caused by other people, about ninety percent of our problems are how we respond.

I have been going out as a volunteer for the last eleven years on a Friday night from about 11 pm to around 4 the next morning. Our aim is to try and help people and to encourage kindness in our town. I don't know how many times I have stood in the middle of angry drunks fighting, I have asked people to hand over their knives, we have had to witness a lot of blood and pain. We go out in teams of three or four, and the people I prefer to be out with in these situations, are ladies who are in their sixties and seventies, the oldest lady is 79.

I know that we are the physically weakest people out on the streets, and when you are the weakest you need the help of someone who is bigger and stronger, and that is God. We pray for the wisdom and the peace to do God's will, we pray for something good to happen, and we are always amazed at the outcomes. Our problems are great, but God is greater.

Life keeps trying to beat you to the ground, but if you always look for a kind solution, then with God's help you come through life's problems with a smile.

Originally Posted by Pink_Uniqueorn
Thank you so much. Your positivity is really amazing.
Now here is the thing - you recognise positivity; and to my way of thinking, if you recognise it, that means you have the power to be positive yourself. And with the help of Allah, you can. It is now past my bedtime.

May you be blessed with the wisdom to do the will of Allah,

Eric
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FilleTriste
01-23-2019, 12:51 AM
Originally Posted by Eric H
Greetings and peace be with you Pink_Uniqueorn; sorry I can't reply to your thread in the advice section,



I would rather get hit, than live in fear of getting hit.

I worked with people with challenging behaviour for about twenty years; I don't know how many times I have been kicked, punched had things thrown at me and I have been called all sorts. I have found that the pain from getting hit lasts for about an hour or so. but the pain of living in fear can last for days, weeks and years. Hence I have found that the lesser pain is taking the hit.

Fear is self generating, if you think you should be afraid, then guess what, you will live in fear. About ten percent of our problems in life are caused by other people, about ninety percent of our problems are how we respond.

I have been going out as a volunteer for the last eleven years on a Friday night from about 11 pm to around 4 the next morning. Our aim is to try and help people and to encourage kindness in our town. I don't know how many times I have stood in the middle of angry drunks fighting, I have asked people to hand over their knives, we have had to witness a lot of blood and pain. We go out in teams of three or four, and the people I prefer to be out with in these situations, are ladies who are in their sixties and seventies, the oldest lady is 79.

I know that we are the physically weakest people out on the streets, and when you are the weakest you need the help of someone who is bigger and stronger, and that is God. We pray for the wisdom and the peace to do God's will, we pray for something good to happen, and we are always amazed at the outcomes. Our problems are great, but God is greater.

Life keeps trying to beat you to the ground, but if you always look for a kind solution, then with God's help you come through life's problems with a smile.



Now here is the thing - you recognise positivity; and to my way of thinking, if you recognise it, that means you have the power to be positive yourself. And with the help of Allah, you can. It is now past my bedtime.

May you be blessed with the wisdom to do the will of Allah,

Eric
Thank you for the story. Yes, I do recognize positivity and I also admire people who practice. I, however, am having trouble being positive nowadays. I am just waiting for God to answer my prayers.
Reply

SintoDinto
01-23-2019, 01:54 AM
Originally Posted by Pink_Uniqueorn
Thank you for the story. Yes, I do recognize positivity and I also admire people who practice. I, however, am having trouble being positive nowadays. I am just waiting for God to answer my prayers.
one important thing to remember about prayers, sister, is that they don't always get accepted, but they always get answered. Allah may replace it with something better, he may postpone it for a later time, or he may reject it because of the pain the thing you are praying for may cause. also, i am 19, going on 20, and i suffer from many mental health issues as a result of lifelong trauma and family turmoil, much of which or all of which i can not mention on this site, some of which for legal reasons, despite the fact i am not at risk for arrest. i was suicidal for years, and the very thing that led me away from religion, which you seem to be describing, (the opposite sex and religious restrictions) came back to cause a ripple effect of trauma culminating in a tragedy that actually led me to turn to Allah when I needed him most, and I was saved. I am currently dealing with hormones at my age (not saying what you have is just that, believe me, I've been there, it is NOT fun when you want to be with the member of the opposite sex of your dreams and you get shamed for a glance or being in the same room, but I'm just making a statement that is relevant). My puberty appears to be extended, or I may be in the final era. Just wait until youth kicks in. I didn't get a single childhood kiss. That's not even haram! (before puberty) and i actually liked someone. i didn't get a single adolescent kiss or "I love you" from a sweetheart as a kid or teen and im OK with that.
but the important thing is first recognizing the value of knowledge of Allah that connection with your creator who created everything and controls everything, though you may not see it, then seeking that knowledge. Read the story of musa (as) and al khidr (as) in chapter 18 in the quran titled al kahf (the cave), and youll see what i mean by "though you may not see it." It's in the middle. the chapter is 110 verses long.
the point is i understand youre going through a rough time. we all go through it. some of us more than others.
Reply

crimsontide06
01-23-2019, 04:34 AM
I think a good speaker for you to listen to is Yasmin Mogahed.

Start with this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDBdOmBSCK8

https://www.youtube.com/user/YasminMogahedOnline/videos

She has a book too; Reclaim Your Heart.
Reply

Eric H
01-23-2019, 08:42 AM
Greetings and peace be with you Pink_Uniqueorn;

I really just want to be a doctor,
That is a big dream to have at the age of 14, just quietly get back to doing well at school and aim for university, it seems your parents are happy for this to happen. When my daughter was about your age, she knew she wanted to be a mid wife, she was far more focused in life than I ever was. She has been a mid wife now for twelve years, she is head of her team and does part time lecturing at the university.

I can imagine there is a great need for women doctors where you are, if you can achieve it, you will help a lot of girls and women. I can imagine that you will have to be stronger than I am, but it is within your power to have this big dream. The thing with big dreams is they take a lot of belief and hard work, BUT YOU CAN DO IT. Just remember it only takes an ordinary girl to do extraordinary things with the help of Allah.

You are a kind and caring person, and if you can be the woman that Allah intends you to be, you will set the world on fire with your kindness.

May you be blessed with the wisdom and strength to do the will of Allah,

Eric
Reply

FilleTriste
01-23-2019, 12:27 PM
Originally Posted by Eric H
Greetings and peace be with you Pink_Uniqueorn;



That is a big dream to have at the age of 14, just quietly get back to doing well at school and aim for university, it seems your parents are happy for this to happen. When my daughter was about your age, she knew she wanted to be a mid wife, she was far more focused in life than I ever was. She has been a mid wife now for twelve years, she is head of her team and does part time lecturing at the university.

I can imagine there is a great need for women doctors where you are, if you can achieve it, you will help a lot of girls and women. I can imagine that you will have to be stronger than I am, but it is within your power to have this big dream. The thing with big dreams is they take a lot of belief and hard work, BUT YOU CAN DO IT. Just remember it only takes an ordinary girl to do extraordinary things with the help of Allah.

You are a kind and caring person, and if you can be the woman that Allah intends you to be, you will set the world on fire with your kindness.

May you be blessed with the wisdom and strength to do the will of Allah,

Eric
Thank you so much. That was inspirational. :)
Reply

bint e aisha
01-23-2019, 12:38 PM
@Pink_Uniqueorn

Assalamu alaikum dear young sister,

I've read your post in the other thread and you have not done anything horrible. MashaAllah you've spent 14 years like a good Muslim and inshaAllah will spend the rest of your life according to Qur'an and Sunnah. You're a good soul mashaAllah, at least better than me. May Allah bless you.

I'm really sorry to hear about your parents feelings at your birth and can understand the emotional trauma you've gone through. May Allah ta'ala grant you the strength to deal with these situations and may He always be on your side. Ameen

Wassalam

*****


@Eric H
May Allah ta'ala increase you in wisdom and shower you with His blessings, mercy and love.
Reply

Mandy
01-23-2019, 12:43 PM
Welcome to the forum. I know you will find good advice here and I hope they will help you.

Do not despair as your duas will be answered. But they are not always answered in the way you expect them to be or at the time you expect them to be. Be patient and one day you will see that everything will work out. I know it is not what you want to hear, especially at 14, but such is life.

You repeated many times you feel unfortunate to be a girl. Do not be. As you mention, you are indeed blessed with the ability to create life. But there is so much more to being female than that. Keep in mind that if Allah decided to make you female, it means it is what was best for you. Do not worry, as time passes you will understand more and more.
Reply

FilleTriste
01-23-2019, 01:09 PM
Originally Posted by Mandy
Welcome to the forum. I know you will find good advice here and I hope they will help you.

Do not despair as your duas will be answered. But they are not always answered in the way you expect them to be or at the time you expect them to be. Be patient and one day you will see that everything will work out. I know it is not what you want to hear, especially at 14, but such is life.

You repeated many times you feel unfortunate to be a girl. Do not be. As you mention, you are indeed blessed with the ability to create life. But there is so much more to being female than that. Keep in mind that if Allah decided to make you female, it means it is what was best for you. Do not worry, as time passes you will understand more and more.

Thank you. I do hope for the best, because I just do not even know what to do anymore.imsad

- - - Updated - - -

I will try to hold on to hope. I guess I should learn that, first.

- - - Updated - - -

Originally Posted by SintoDinto
one important thing to remember about prayers, sister, is that they don't always get accepted, but they always get answered. Allah may replace it with something better, he may postpone it for a later time, or he may reject it because of the pain the thing you are praying for may cause. also, i am 19, going on 20, and i suffer from many mental health issues as a result of lifelong trauma and family turmoil, much of which or all of which i can not mention on this site, some of which for legal reasons, despite the fact i am not at risk for arrest. i was suicidal for years, and the very thing that led me away from religion, which you seem to be describing, (the opposite sex and religious restrictions) came back to cause a ripple effect of trauma culminating in a tragedy that actually led me to turn to Allah when I needed him most, and I was saved. I am currently dealing with hormones at my age (not saying what you have is just that, believe me, I've been there, it is NOT fun when you want to be with the member of the opposite sex of your dreams and you get shamed for a glance or being in the same room, but I'm just making a statement that is relevant). My puberty appears to be extended, or I may be in the final era. Just wait until youth kicks in. I didn't get a single childhood kiss. That's not even haram! (before puberty) and i actually liked someone. i didn't get a single adolescent kiss or "I love you" from a sweetheart as a kid or teen and im OK with that.
but the important thing is first recognizing the value of knowledge of Allah that connection with your creator who created everything and controls everything, though you may not see it, then seeking that knowledge. Read the story of musa (as) and al khidr (as) in chapter 18 in the quran titled al kahf (the cave), and youll see what i mean by "though you may not see it." It's in the middle. the chapter is 110 verses long.
the point is i understand youre going through a rough time. we all go through it. some of us more than others.


Thank you for the reply and encouragement. I understand what you are trying to say, and I am sorry about what you are going and went through. May Allah ease your troubles. I was suicidal too and even resorted to self-harm. I expected compassion from my mother (I did not tell my father because he is super religious and scary), but instead I got a lecture from her (an anger-fueled one) that made me just want to kill myself even more -- but I can not do that because I am a weakling.

As for the crush part, let me just say this: my crush is literally a year younger than you. So I cannot even admit my feelings, because imagine how awkward it would be for an 18-year-old (going to turn 19) to be confronted by some 14-year-old girl about how she has a major crush on him -- I think you can imagine the awkwardness of the situation. I know 4 years is not a big age difference, but it is an awkward age difference at this stage in life.

Thank you for citing specific stories from the Qur'an. I will go read them insha'Allah.
Reply

FilleTriste
01-23-2019, 01:11 PM
Originally Posted by crimsontide06
I think a good speaker for you to listen to is Yasmin Mogahed.

Start with this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDBdOmBSCK8

https://www.youtube.com/user/YasminMogahedOnline/videos

She has a book too; Reclaim Your Heart.
Thank you. Will look into it, insha'Allah.
Reply

FilleTriste
01-23-2019, 01:14 PM
Originally Posted by bint e aisha
@Pink_Uniqueorn

Assalamu alaikum dear young sister,

I've read your post in the other thread and you have not done anything horrible. MashaAllah you've spent 14 years like a good Muslim and inshaAllah will spend the rest of your life according to Qur'an and Sunnah. You're a good soul mashaAllah, at least better than me. May Allah bless you.

I'm really sorry to hear about your parents feelings at your birth and can understand the emotional trauma you've gone through. May Allah ta'ala grant you the strength to deal with these situations and may He always be on your side. Ameen

Wassalam

*****


@Eric H
May Allah ta'ala increase you in wisdom and shower you with His blessings, mercy and love.


:wa: . Thank you for the reply and kind words. I do not have anything against Islam (or any other religion for that matter, because God decides who he favors and who he does not). I do hope Allah's guidance stays with me and everyone forever.
Reply

Eric H
01-24-2019, 12:22 PM
Greetings and peace be with you Pink_Uniqueorn;

Clearly your dad likes females, he married one, and presumably he wants your brother to marry a woman and not a man. I am very pleased there are women in this world, having been married for a few years, and I would not have it any other way. However, as I have often said on this forum, the first twenty five years of marriage are the hardest, then it just gets harder. :)

When you have a crush on someone, your mind makes them into everything you want them to be, they are your dream relationship. Even if you ended up marrying this lad, he would not end up being the dream person as you imagine. Staying married has to be one of the toughest things we do in life, the reality is so much more challenging than the crush. :)

The best description of marriage that I have heard is this.....

An imperfect man, marrying an imperfect woman, having imperfect children and living in an imperfect world. It takes a huge amount of work to make all this imperfection work. It can be done with the help of Allah.

Blessings,
Eric
Reply

DanEdge
01-24-2019, 01:12 PM
To All:

Your outpouring of kindness and support for this young lady (in this thread and the other in the Advice section) is truly inspiring - especially you loving, caring, intelligent Muslim women who have taken the time to provide thoughtful advice with a gentle hand. You remind me how grateful I am to have such a wonderful woman in my own life, my mother. Without her I would have been lost.

To You, Little Unicorn:

I have no advice that could supercede the thoughtful feedback of your Sisters. I am not qualified, and it would be inappropriate. Instead, allow me to share some observations based on what you've written here.

Your mind is strong. Your writing style, word choices, and depth of expression reveal an above-average intelligence. You will be smarter than most of the people you meet in your life, men and women alike. This will not contribute to your popularity. Intelligent women are intimidating to some - and the more intelligent they are, the more intimidating they appear. This is a fact of life for we humble humans.

Your heart is strong. You experience emotions deeply, and the whirling of your thoughts attempting to analyze your feelings is part of what drove you here. This intensity of emotion is a double-edged sword, allowing for extremes of joy and sorrow. Thankfully, you have a worldwide community full of brilliant Sisters who can help guide you in your struggles, perhaps even focus that intensity towards some positive end.

You are not alone. You are unique, but your experiences are shared by many. I am very happy to see that you've reached out to this community. Many of your older Sisters have been through some of the same things, and you can see by their words that they have grown into strong women. Take heart.

Sincerely,

--Dan Edge
Reply

FilleTriste
01-24-2019, 02:33 PM
Originally Posted by Eric H
Greetings and peace be with you Pink_Uniqueorn;

Clearly your dad likes females, he married one, and presumably he wants your brother to marry a woman and not a man. I am very pleased there are women in this world, having been married for a few years, and I would not have it any other way. However, as I have often said on this forum, the first twenty five years of marriage are the hardest, then it just gets harder. :)

When you have a crush on someone, your mind makes them into everything you want them to be, they are your dream relationship. Even if you ended up marrying this lad, he would not end up being the dream person as you imagine. Staying married has to be one of the toughest things we do in life, the reality is so much more challenging than the crush. :)

The best description of marriage that I have heard is this.....

An imperfect man, marrying an imperfect woman, having imperfect children and living in an imperfect world. It takes a huge amount of work to make all this imperfection work. It can be done with the help of Allah.

Blessings,
Eric
Thanks a lot for your reply. :) To be honest, I am having trouble interpreting your message, but I guess I will understand once I am older and maturer. After all, elders are mostly wise.

- - - Updated - - -

Originally Posted by DanEdge
To All:

Your outpouring of kindness and support for this young lady (in this thread and the other in the Advice section) is truly inspiring - especially you loving, caring, intelligent Muslim women who have taken the time to provide thoughtful advice with a gentle hand. You remind me how grateful I am to have such a wonderful woman in my own life, my mother. Without her I would have been lost.

To You, Little Unicorn:

I have no advice that could supercede the thoughtful feedback of your Sisters. I am not qualified, and it would be inappropriate. Instead, allow me to share some observations based on what you've written here.

Your mind is strong. Your writing style, word choices, and depth of expression reveal an above-average intelligence. You will be smarter than most of the people you meet in your life, men and women alike. This will not contribute to your popularity. Intelligent women are intimidating to some - and the more intelligent they are, the more intimidating they appear. This is a fact of life for we humble humans.

Your heart is strong. You experience emotions deeply, and the whirling of your thoughts attempting to analyze your feelings is part of what drove you here. This intensity of emotion is a double-edged sword, allowing for extremes of joy and sorrow. Thankfully, you have a worldwide community full of brilliant Sisters who can help guide you in your struggles, perhaps even focus that intensity towards some positive end.

You are not alone. You are unique, but your experiences are shared by many. I am very happy to see that you've reached out to this community. Many of your older Sisters have been through some of the same things, and you can see by their words that they have grown into strong women. Take heart.

Sincerely,

--Dan Edge
Wow, thank you so much for that insightful reply. I am really flattered! :) But I do not know if my heart is strong and if I am really as intelligent as you think. I mean, I can score A's at school (sorry if it sounds like I am boasting; it is just for the comparison), but I make dumb mistakes all the time, and my emotions are really sensitive. That is the reason I ended up here.

Also, just to be clear, I appreciate your advice and would welcome it as much as I welcomed anyone else's help here.
Reply

FilleTriste
01-24-2019, 02:35 PM
Originally Posted by DanEdge
To All:

Your outpouring of kindness and support for this young lady (in this thread and the other in the Advice section) is truly inspiring - especially you loving, caring, intelligent Muslim women who have taken the time to provide thoughtful advice with a gentle hand. You remind me how grateful I am to have such a wonderful woman in my own life, my mother. Without her I would have been lost.

To You, Little Unicorn:

I have no advice that could supercede the thoughtful feedback of your Sisters. I am not qualified, and it would be inappropriate. Instead, allow me to share some observations based on what you've written here.

Your mind is strong. Your writing style, word choices, and depth of expression reveal an above-average intelligence. You will be smarter than most of the people you meet in your life, men and women alike. This will not contribute to your popularity. Intelligent women are intimidating to some - and the more intelligent they are, the more intimidating they appear. This is a fact of life for we humble humans.

Your heart is strong. You experience emotions deeply, and the whirling of your thoughts attempting to analyze your feelings is part of what drove you here. This intensity of emotion is a double-edged sword, allowing for extremes of joy and sorrow. Thankfully, you have a worldwide community full of brilliant Sisters who can help guide you in your struggles, perhaps even focus that intensity towards some positive end.

You are not alone. You are unique, but your experiences are shared by many. I am very happy to see that you've reached out to this community. Many of your older Sisters have been through some of the same things, and you can see by their words that they have grown into strong women. Take heart.

Sincerely,

--Dan Edge
Wow, thank you so much for that insightful reply. I am really flattered! :) But I do not know if my heart is strong and if I am really as intelligent as you think. I mean, I can score A's at school (sorry if it sounds like I am boasting; it is just for the comparison), but I make dumb mistakes all the time, and my emotions are really sensitive. That is the reason I ended up here.

Also, just to be clear, I appreciate your advice and would welcome it as much as I welcomed anyone else's help here.
Reply

Eric H
01-25-2019, 04:40 AM
Greetings and peace be with you Pink_Uniqueorn;

But I do not know if my heart is strong
I would say you seem much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You are sounding so much more positive than you were two days ago, that is an amazing step forward.

Originally Posted by Pink_Uniqueorn
but I make dumb mistakes all the time,
Think positive, if you are making mistakes, it means you are still trying, recognising that you make mistakes means you want to improve; it gives you cause to reflect. It means you have to try harder, and it is within your power to push yourself further. Pray for the wisdom and the strength to do the will of Allah, you are not on your own.

Originally Posted by Pink_Uniqueorn
To be honest, I am having trouble interpreting your message
Sorry, probably my fault more than yours, I have forgotten what it is like to be 14:muddlehea

Blessings
Eric
Reply

Mandy
01-25-2019, 11:07 AM
I make dumb mistakes all the time, and my emotions are really sensitive. [/QUOTE]
Being emotional and sensitive is normal. You are a growing young woman and you will discover many emotions you had never before experience (wow, now I feel old saying this!).
Those feeling do not make you dumb. They make you human. You simply need time to get used to them
Reply

DanEdge
01-25-2019, 12:29 PM
Boy, I hope that nobody out there is judging me for all the dumb mistakes I make all the time, and I'm 40 years old! I can be quite a sensitive Little Snowflake sometimes, too. While it is true that biological impulses can make teenage years more difficult, what many of us learn as adults is not to never make dumb mistakes, but that it is okay to make dumb mistakes. Unless you are a Prophet of some kind, you are going to be just a regular human, and humans make dumb mistakes all the time. Even clever ones. [emoji16]
Reply

FilleTriste
01-25-2019, 09:15 PM
Greetings and peace be with you Pink_Uniqueorn;
Thank you, and peace be with you, too. :)


I would say you seem much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You are sounding so much more positive than you were two days ago, that is an amazing step forward.
Thank you so much. I did not even realize that! :statisfie It has to be because I got such amazing support here.


Think positive, if you are making mistakes, it means you are still trying, recognising that you make mistakes means you want to improve; it gives you cause to reflect. It means you have to try harder, and it is within your power to push yourself further. Pray for the wisdom and the strength to do the will of Allah, you are not on your own.

Thanks. That is a really positive outlook on mistakes that you have provided, and it really helps me so much.


Sorry, probably my fault more than yours, I have forgotten what it is like to be 14:muddlehea

Oh, no, it is okay. I just said that because I still have a lot to learn. I did not mean any offense, sorry.


- - - Updated - - -

Being emotional and sensitive is normal. You are a growing young woman and you will discover many emotions you had never before experience (wow, now I feel old saying this!).
Those feeling do not make you dumb. They make you human. You simply need time to get used to them

Thank you for the reply! You are right about these emotional experiences. I guess it will take me some time before I learn and sort everything out. :)

- - - Updated - - -

Originally Posted by DanEdge
Boy, I hope that nobody out there is judging me for all the dumb mistakes I make all the time, and I'm 40 years old! I can be quite a sensitive Little Snowflake sometimes, too. While it is true that biological impulses can make teenage years more difficult, what many of us learn as adults is not to never make dumb mistakes, but that it is okay to make dumb mistakes. Unless you are a Prophet of some kind, you are going to be just a regular human, and humans make dumb mistakes all the time. Even clever ones. [emoji16]

Thank you for the reply. It is always great to hear from someone who has lived a lot longer compared to me. I do need to learn to stop stressing about every little blunder, so really thank you for the inspirational post! :)
Reply

Duas_Revival
01-26-2019, 04:49 PM
Originally Posted by Pink_Uniqueorn
Yes, I am broken. Help. Please.


Assalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh,

Firstly - What has Allah azza wajal said about this in the Quran? Is there any hope left for us?!





Furthermore - Allah says in Surah Baqarah Verse 155: "And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient".

Secondly - Do you know the power of Dua? Dua is the weapon of a believer!

And your Lord says, "Call upon Me, I will respond to you." Quran (40:60)

I sincerely recommend "one thing for you" - recommend reading this beautiful supplication (Dua) as soon as possible. This is an authentic Dua recited by Prophet Yunus (AS) in the belly of the fish, when he was in distress. If any Muslim supplicates in these words, his supplication will be accepted/responded to.







Arabic to English Translation: La ilaha illa anta, Subhanaka, Inni kuntu minaz-zalimin]


Meaning: There is no God but You, Glorified be You! Truly, I have been of the wrongdoers


Learn More: https://www.duasrevival.com/supplica...us-forgiveness


Furthermore if it's not too much trouble please kindly watch this video, it is so joyful:





Please remember us in your Duas.

Jazakallahu Khair,
DR
Reply

FilleTriste
01-26-2019, 11:10 PM
Originally Posted by Duas_Revival
Assalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh,

Firstly - What has Allah azza wajal said about this in the Quran? Is there any hope left for us?!





Furthermore - Allah says in Surah Baqarah Verse 155: "And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient".

Secondly - Do you know the power of Dua? Dua is the weapon of a believer!

And your Lord says, "Call upon Me, I will respond to you." Quran (40:60)

I sincerely recommend "one thing for you" - recommend reading this beautiful supplication (Dua) as soon as possible. This is an authentic Dua recited by Prophet Yunus (AS) in the belly of the fish, when he was in distress. If any Muslim supplicates in these words, his supplication will be accepted/responded to.







Arabic to English Translation: La ilaha illa anta, Subhanaka, Inni kuntu minaz-zalimin]


Meaning: There is no God but You, Glorified be You! Truly, I have been of the wrongdoers


Learn More: https://www.duasrevival.com/supplica...us-forgiveness


Furthermore if it's not too much trouble please kindly watch this video, it is so joyful:





Please remember us in your Duas.

Jazakallahu Khair,
DR

:wa:. Thank you for your reply. I will be sure to recite what you have provided me with, and I will also go and watch the video. :)
Reply

Eric H
01-31-2019, 08:30 AM
Greetings and peace be with you FilleTriste;

I see you have changed your name, does that mean you are starting to change your view on life a little?

I hope you and your family are well. :barak:

Blessings
Eric
Reply

FilleTriste
01-31-2019, 09:30 AM
Originally Posted by Eric H
Greetings and peace be with you FilleTriste;

Hello @Eric H ,

Thank you for the kind wishes; same to you. :)

I see you have changed your name, does that mean you are starting to change your view on life a little?

Not that I think so. I changed my username as it is quite similar to the username I use on various video games and other services. Some of the examples include a gaming console on which I go by that name; the problem is, there is also other personal information of mine on that console, so I do not want to end up getting my privacy invaded by someone.
I hope you and your family are well. :barak:

Blessings
Eric

We are better, thank you. I hope the same for you.
Reply

Nájlá
01-31-2019, 11:15 PM
:sl:

What happened to the sister's account?
Reply

*charisma*
01-31-2019, 11:58 PM
Originally Posted by Nájlá
What happened to the sister's account?
It's still there?
Reply

Nájlá
02-01-2019, 01:55 AM
Originally Posted by *charisma*
It's still there?
It is but not green anymore. I thought it might have been disabled. Maybe it's just my phone
Reply

AabiruSabeel
02-01-2019, 04:59 AM
It's not green anymore because she has changed her email address and did not activate the new email. Her account is actually awaiting email confirmation.

We have seen members do that when they do not want to visit the forum anymore.
Reply

FilleTriste
02-01-2019, 07:49 PM
Originally Posted by AabiruSabeel
We have seen members do that when they do not want to visit the forum anymore.

That is the reason. Thank you for letting them know.
Reply

Eric H
02-01-2019, 10:50 PM
Greetings and peace be with you FilleTriste;

That is the reason. Thank you for letting them know.
I hope all is well and we see you back again.

Blessings
Eric
Reply

FilleTriste
02-01-2019, 11:09 PM
Originally Posted by Eric H
Greetings and peace be with you FilleTriste;



I hope all is well and we see you back again.

Blessings
Eric

Thank you. I hope all is well with you, too. I will probably be back, but I just need a break for now. Peace be with you, too.
Reply

FilleTriste
02-02-2019, 10:59 AM
Though I do not exactly feel like coming back. My time here is over. Thank you for the help, everyone. It is just a simple decision that I am making, and there is nothing else to it.
Reply

Al Sultan
02-02-2019, 11:26 AM
Assalamo alikum, welcome sister! I'm sure you'll enjoy this forum, it's filled with amazing knowledgeable people who will help you in whatever you struggle with, and please, don't be shy ! we love helping a brother/sister out, don't forget that!

what a coincidence, I live in the UAE as well! (Sharjah) mashallah.

Hope you enjoy it here, and once again, welcome :)
Reply

Eric H
02-02-2019, 03:52 PM
Greetings and peace be with you FilleTriste;

Though I do not exactly feel like coming back. My time here is over.
I am so sorry to hear that, however my thoughts as always are - when the going gets tough, the tough keep going. And how often do they have to keep going? The answer is always the same, just one more time and always with kindness.

May you be blessed and be a blessing to all those you love and care for,

Eric
Reply

FilleTriste
02-02-2019, 06:48 PM
Originally Posted by Eric H
Greetings and peace be with you FilleTriste;



I am so sorry to hear that, however my thoughts as always are - when the going gets tough, the tough keep going. And how often do they have to keep going? The answer is always the same, just one more time and always with kindness.

May you be blessed and be a blessing to all those you love and care for,

Eric
Thank you, same to you. I will think about what I have to do, but for now it is the same as I said before.
Reply

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