format_quote Originally Posted by
SintoDinto
I go to two masjids. At one, almost no one has a beard, at least not the Turkish population, but many of the Pakistanis and Africans do. I used to go to another, and there there is a mixture, or at least people have small beards and are young, and one imam had no beard and a shaven face. The imams change at that masjid every week. But the sheikh at the main masjid I go to doesn't have a beard, and is pious in other regards. The main fatwa website I use, (can't name it, mods will have to approve the site and put this thread on lockdown), says after making an intention to grow a beard, which is recommended, it is makruh to shave it. My mom constantly says I "look like a bum" and "need to shave" but she kinda stopped that now, but I read that people trust people with a beard less according to psychology, and im already unpopular as it is, and my mother was furious at me yesterday for a serious of interactions i had yesterday with a group of pair of muslim girls and their ....aunt? the mother of one of them? which caused me to cut myself with a knife until i bled, and the interactions happened after i found out i was banned by one of the girls' older brother and father from talking to her, despite the fact i made a resolution not to talk to girls unnecessarily. i feel self conscious about my look, and feel like im ugly, and that i look too mature and scary and intimidating and not "innocent" or "cute" or "nerdy" and i already have big messy hair. my dad even told me i look like a terrorist and told me to shave in front of my grandmother, and it caused a big fight after i shaved, because i did it to please him since we are not so close.
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my mother just called my face and hair disgusting... :( yelling at me :(
I can relate,it happens to me,people say i look like a terrorist and if am going to join IS.S because i try to keep a beard when i can.Dont worry about it,its one of the lil disturbances you have to face if your a muslim.
You said in a previous posts that people.consider you intelligent but what you did was very stupid (am sorry) cutting yourself with a knife? Dont do it again.I thought of doing it to combat my pain too but we would just get more and more sins for hurting our body.
We should take care of our body,and about our looks,which gives us the answer to the other questions you have:
You look bad with a beard? Trimm it,give it a beautiful shape.
Am.not saying make some weird beard styles or very modern with lots of oils and stuff,but a decent looking trimmed beard am sure its recommended.
I understand your situation about beardless imams, had the same situation when i could go in masjid,imams were beardless but the jammat had all beards and they would never ask imam for fatwa but would ask the most knowledgeable among each other.
Last thing i wanna say is dont try to be cute or innocent.You are a man not a girl.I had guts to go completely shaved with a beard and i went from beautiful looks to tough-angry-old looks,and then boom,i started being invited for zinnah by girls.Did i look beautiful? No,but i was happy with myself and its thr confidence that attracted them.
So beautify yourself the way you like it better,and if your family still tells you to shave off your beard tell them its sunnah and show them hadith.You got muslim parents,they have to understand.