format_quote Originally Posted by
RisingLight
Salam Alaikum
I have received bad news today and lately my life has been very bad again.I have experienced and am still experiencing the biggest anxiety period of my life,along with severe depression,loneliness,sadness,stress, all bad feelings you can mention.
Its gotten so hard especially today that i am even having thoughts of doing the worst things.
I feel again like Allah doesnt care about me,like He never cared for all these years ive been through this,and i dont know can i do more
If Allah cared about me why would I still be here,i cant pray a salah with concentration,cant fast,cant do anything that i want to do.Im not this kind of muslim im sure am better.
I want a chance to proove it and if am not then let me go in jahannam but am sure i am,because when i have lived alone i was way way better than this.
All i want is to get out of here so i can be a free muslim,but all my efforts of getting out arent working.I dont know why i have to suffer here so much and in the day of judgement be asked why i didnt do this or that when i cant do it.I want to do it wallah but i cant.
I cant even put alarm for fajr,so i have to stay wait awake the whole night,and its ruining my health but i dont care cuz i put Allah first.
And now the thought of Him not caring about me is making me loose hope and give up in everything.
I wish i stopped existing...
Im I a terrible person? Why am going through such a torture?
Sometimes all problems can be overcome if you just stay calm at moments where most people would freak out. Don't give up regardless of how bad the situation might be and never even entertain that idea because that is what the shayteen want. Give up shouldn't be on your dictionary and I don't care if you even have killed 1000s of people but never give up nor entertain the idea it's dengerous because that is the second biggest sin.
Start from square zero by first making tawba but before you make tawba realize your faults because we as humans are not angels nor saints that we invision because they are not real because we are humans and we are bound to sin and created in such a state to sin and we are attracted towards sin by nature.
You and I are never going to be angels nor perfection because we are bound to be imperfection because that is how we were created. Don't assume yourself to be good nor assume you can reach it but instead try your best to please Allah and seek forgiveness and ask for guidance.
be graciously patient towards your outcomes and just keep rolling. Insha-allah you will find strength and also remember to ask for this in your dua also ''O Allah show me if I'm commiting mistakes that are hidden to me'' because as I said before we are only humans and alot of things can go past us