It is clearly evident that children usually receive more love and attentive care from the mother if she is not out working full time, this comes from an in-built bias that is apparent in most creatures -especially mammals. The thing with humans however is that a disciplined upbringing with authoritative and more formal advice usually come from the father who is more able to comprehend and steer through society on a more zoomed out level.
The "my son never did nothing - it was all the work of that cows good for nothing son" - when the belt necessarily comes out before it develops into a law and order issue - is a good indicator of how the mother's in-built bias is good for survival and warmth - but usually ineffective in terms of learning to hold a just balance in society.
I may be generalizing a little - but it is an undeniable fact that the mind of a female generally works on navigating through society in a different way to that of a male who must often take into account many additional factors such as the need for a male to assert oneself with underlying force in order to not be pushed over - and also the need to control one's strength where necessary - whereas for a female it is more about keeping up in order to keep it sweet rather than clearly demanding what is necessary. The type of training that comes from the male becomes more and more necessary as the child grows.
Cats and dogs and other creatures have in-built impulses including eating habits which kick in from birth and require near zero input from males in terms of discipline and teaching about what to do tomorrow and the decade after, and the females main task is survival of offspring at all costs - even if it means picking some offspring to breastfeed and watching the less fit die in front of their eyes if there isn't enough milk to go around - and it is rare for a human female to sacrifice scarce breast milk or bread for someone else's child when her own child is hungry - and there is a temporary reason for this as the male takes the duty of keeping the whole community running on a less on a less personal and emotional level.
When evaluating the hadith posted by
@
ZeeshanParvez
-with the Quranic verse which clearly states LA HOO even on the topic of breastfeeding by another woman if an agreement cannot be reached - it is possible to come to the hypothesis that the Prophet :saws: saw the deep love and attachment of the woman and made a positive exception as he :saws: evaluated the situation.
The reason for matriarchal societies such as the uk working differently could be to do with the fact that the government prefers to give full training via the school and benefits system and end up with a more standardized product in an inefficient bedsit or one bed flat (serving loansharks well) who complies better with state norms without too much questioning, and produces more without complaint or physical mobilization.
With all that said - i believe that the advice in the verse for parents to come to an amicable agreement for the good of the family unit -is better than breatfeeding by another woman (which only happens when there are irreconcilable differences).
In patriarchal communities and tribes - it is detrimental to the psychological upbringing of a child to grow up amongst the mother's family where the child is seen more as a guest and distant relative than a fellow kinsman - this is difficult to comprehend in lands where manual labour which requires men is carried out by people of other countries and by machines - where a female is able to claim that she works the same as a male only due to the imbalance in local production, and where males are under-utilized.
The loansharks will obviously attempt to flatter the women as they break society into individuals who have next to no family backing, men are like evolutionary apes to them as machines do more and more of the heavy lifting and women do the typing.
Sit in a primary school classroom for a while to compare compliance to set or widely accepted norms - with individual demand (the ability to adapt to very personal intimate compliance during the days of slavery is another indicator of how different people are).
There is a reason why a Muslim male may marry a female who is acquainted with and accepting of what's left of the previously revealed books - whereas a Muslim female may not marry a non-Muslim male even if he is acquainted and accepting of the same books - unless he accepts Islam in totality.
The human race does not advance by solely focusing on survival - but rather through the unflinching personal sacrifice (even of life) where it is deemed necessary for the wider cause rather than for the immediate offspring alone.