format_quote Originally Posted by
muslimgirl_00
Assalamualykum brothers and sisters,
I am in a dilemma where i want to marry a boy i have known for to years, we both love each other very much but our parents don't approve more so mine then his. Unfortunately, he isn't the perfect Muslim, he drinks alcohol, hence why our parents are so hesitant. However, i did not know about the drinking until a year into us speaking and due to my feelings towards him and being so attached i couldn't bring myself to leave him. Of course i know what he is doing is haram but personally i believe no one is perfect and we as humans have no right to judge others on the mistakes they make. I have spoke to him about the drinking and he is trying to stop, but my mother is totally against me marrying him. Since i told her I want to marry him shes been arguing with me constantly, telling me he will ruin me and that if I choose him she will cut me off and make sure the rest of the family do as well, she is even refusing to give me away.
What should I do in this situation? Is it permissible in Islam to disown your children? Should I choose my happiness over my families?
If anyone has any advice or an opinion i would really appreciate it.
When I read the title, I thought it was yet another case of a muslim woman wanting to marry a non-muslim. Thank God that is not the case here.
Well if our opinions are soemthing that could sway you than that is a difficult opinion to give, given it's about someone else's life, and one would have to try and be in your shoes to understand the situation as well as we can from behind our computer screens.
So to answer, what I can say is clearly (and I hope you recognize this fact), your parents are more experienced about the world than you are, they have seen different kinds of people in their lifetime. Most importantly they are thinking from a cold, calculated perspective. While you are thinking from an emotional perspective, hence your judgement is clouded.
So yes from a logical perspective, you should take the opinions of your parents very seriously. Emotions are temporary, and won't stay forever. This is the reality. What will you do when this emotional attachment wears off. A lot of marriages based on love breaks up after 3-5 years because after that time, the emotion doesn't remain.
Your parents are also thinking about long time consequences. What if after having some hard time, he turns to drinking to 'ease' the pain. Would that be an environment to raise a stable family?
"Should I choose my happiness over my families?|"
For a matter of philosophy, one should always choose family. Even Ronaldo kicked out his girlfriend who insulted his mother. When it's down to that, always family.
But this is your life, and at the end it your choice. I don't like giving opinion on the personal matters of other people, because I am not in your shoes and I definitely don;t want to be one that denies other people's "happiness". But since you asked, I gave an opinion.